Seoul, South Korea – May 2, 2016

LEE JIYEON | AYAKA

      I haven’t seen Kai the entire day since he left my house early in the morning. I’ve been worried for him for the whole day since he was absent at school as well as Sooyeon. I don’t know where or what he is doing but I wish that he’s doing well. He has been bugging my mind the whole day! I just want to stop worrying about him today and forget about what he asked me.

      I decided to go with Gayoung today to the club at Itaewon in order for me to forget about Kai and his proposal to be his girlfriend.

      I haven’t been in any club before and this will be my very first time, I hope that it would be fun and cool.

      I decided to put on my black see through blouse and black sleeveless shirt together with my black leather shorts and to top it off; I put on my black pumps.

      “I’m here!” I looked at Gayoung’s message and I immediately went downstairs.

      When I went out, I saw Gayoung inside her car with a big smile in her face.

      “Oho! You didn’t tell me that you have such beautiful car!” I exclaimed as I went closer to her and she opened the car. I quickly went inside her car and she smirked.

      “Of course! I’m not just a nerdy school official, you know!” she laughed, “I also know how to have fun!”

      Gayoung stepped on the car and we quickly went to Itaewon.

      When we went inside the club, my ears were filled with loud music and laughter of people. My nose was irritated by the mixed smell of cigarettes, liquor and fragrances of the people, my heart beat with the music.

      “It smells crazy!” I exclaimed as I pinched my nose.

      “Come on Jiyeon, I want you to meet my friends.” She exclaimed, half shouting because of the loudness of the music.

      She dragged me towards the corner of the club where few people were sitting on the table.

      “Suga-oppa!” Gayoung exclaimed as soon as she saw the seven men sitting in front of the table.

      “Oh, Gayoung-ah!” the guy named Suga smiled as he stood up and hugged Gayoung.

      “It’s great that you went here.” He exclaimed.

      “Oh by the way, I brought my friend!” Gayoung muttered as she turned to me.

      “Suga-oppa, meet Jiyeon. She’s my friend.” Gayoung told that Suga guy and then she turned to me, “Jiyeon, this is Suga. He’s my brother’s friend.”

      “Hello,” I greeted with a smile on my face.

      Gayoung introduced me to the seven of them and soon enough, many left the table including Gayoung to dance on the dance floor.

      “Jimin, aren’t you going to dance?” the guy who I believe his name is Jungkook asked the guy beside me.

      “I’ll follow you guys.” He told him.

      I decided to just sit on the table and just take some shots because the real reason why I went here is to forget about Kai’s madness but I guess I can’t really take him off from my mind.

      “Jiyeon,” I looked to my side and saw Jimin smiling at me.

      I smiled back at him, “Yeah?” I asked.

      “Why aren’t you dancing?” Jimin asked me.

      “I just went here to forget about something.” I answered as I drank the alcohol in one shot.

      “A guy?” he asked and I nodded back.

      “Come on, I’ll help you forget about that guy.” He told me,

      I wanted to refuse but he suddenly grabbed my hand and led me to the dancefloor.

      “I don’t want to dance,” I told Jimin as I tried to leave him but he was fast as thunderbolt and grabbed my hand.

      “Come on Jiyeon, dance with me.” He exclaimed as he started dancing in front of me.

      He started swaying to the beat, grinding his self into me and smiling at me. It was so awkward and I felt like something is wrong.

      “Jimin, I really don’t want to dance.” I exclaimed as I tried to break free from his grasp but I was shocked when he tightened his grip into my hand.

      “Aaw,” I exclaimed in pain, “Jimin, you’re hurting me.” I told him.

      Then I saw his eyes when the lights started to blink on him. His eyes were bloodshot and it seems like he was high. Just then, I felt my heart beat fast. I know that something is going wrong.

      “Let go of me, Jimin!” I shouted at him but he wouldn’t budge.

      I tried shouting for help but he suddenly dragged me away from the dancefloor and we went near the restroom where few people go. I was terrified with what was happening and I wanted to leave this place right now.

      “Jimin!” I shouted but I was shocked when he pinned me against the wall and started kissing me.

      “Do you know how hard I resisted you?” he asked in between the kisses.

      “HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!” I shouted as I tried to grasp away from his hold.

      Tears were streaming down my face, smudging my make-up. I felt so weak and vulnerable. I’ve never been violated in my entire life! I have not even kissed anyone! I was so scared and petrified. I didn’t know what to do.

      “Go and ask for help, nobody will hear you.” He whispered into my ears.

      He continued kissing me and his hands were roaming around my body and I couldn’t help but to cry and scream.

      As I thought that it was my end, I felt someone who grabbed Jimin away from me.

      “And who the are you?!” Jimin shouted.

      “Her boyfriend,” the other man exclaimed.

      I didn’t have any strength left in me that’s why my feet soon gave up and I collapsed on the floor, crying.

      “Jiyeon!” I was sure that it was Gayoung who shouted.

      She went to my place straightaway and cupped my face.

      “Are you okay? What happened to you?” Gayoung asked me.

      I didn’t answer her but instead, I just gave her my sobs and cry as my response.

      “Ask this guy in front of me.” The guy who helped me exclaimed.

      Gayoung turned to Jimin and shock was written all over her face.

      “Kai, could you please accompany Jiyeon away from the club? I need to talk to Jimin.” Gayoung exclaimed.

      Gayoung stood up and soon, Kai’s face came into view.

      He kneeled in front of me and gave me his jacket that made me warm. I don’t know but I felt safe in his arms.

      “Come on,” he exclaimed as he guided me away from the scene.

      He dragged me all the way outside the club and went to the parking lot near the club. When the loud music was gone, everything started to sink in.

      I was assaulted.

      I yanked my hand away from Kai and collapsed on the floor, crying. I was crying so hard. I felt so violated and dirty.

      “Stop crying,” I heard Kai exclaimed but it seems like his words are like onions because it made me cry more.

      Kai sat in front of me and cupped my face.

      “Ssh.” He cooed, “You’re safe now,” he exclaimed and hugged me tight.

      “What would have happened to me if you weren’t there?” I asked him in between my sobs.

      “I’m always here,” he exclaimed as he rub my back and brushed my hair.

      I slowly hugged him back and cried like there’s no tomorrow. I cried in his shoulder and told him everything that Jimin did to me.

      After some time, he led me inside his car and I was just there looking outside the window, my tears streaming down my face.

      “What are you even doing in that club?” Kai asked me.

      I decided not to answer him because I know that he will just keep on nagging me.

      “You’re wearing that kind of clothes and drinking with someone that you just met? What would you expect?” he asked me.

      “I don’t want to talk about this Kai, I’m tired.” I exclaimed.

      “What will happen to you if I wasn’t there?” he scolded again.

      I suddenly felt angry with him and I couldn’t help but to scream at him.

      “Will you shut up?!” I hollered, “I regretted going there so much! I just wanted to have fun and forget things! I didn’t expect this to happen.” I yelled followed by the tears.

      Kai sighed and shook his head.

      “I’m sorry,” Kai exhaled, “I was just angry when I saw that guy violating you.” He exclaimed. “When you want to go to clubs or bars, always call me. I’ll go with you.”

      When I calmed down, Kai decided to bring me home since it was really late and Gayoung said that she needs to fix the fight between those seven guys because of me.

      We arrived in front of my house and Kai turned to me.

      “Forget about today,” Kai mumbled.

      “Thank you for saving me a moment ago.” I told him and he just nodded back at me.

      “Remember to call me if you want to go clubbing. Don’t go drinking and don’t go to bars without me, okay?” he told me.

      “Yes,” I answered back.

      “Rest,” he muttered as he opened the door of his car.

      I went outside the car and bid him goodbye.

      I went inside the house and was welcomed by the silence. Keiko-chan is not yet home maybe she’s with Seojoon-oppa. I just sighed and went upstairs in my room.

      I sat on my bed and looked at the flower stuffed toy on the end table beside my bed. It was the stuffed flower that Kai gave me.

      Kai saved me today and I feel like I am indebted to him.

      And now, I’m having a second thought about his proposal.

      I sighed and decided to forget everything and just wash myself first before calling it a day. I was about to go inside the washroom when my phone rang.

      “Jiyeon!” Gayoung exclaimed as soon as I answered her. “I’m really sorry for what happened!” she exclaimed, “Jimin is not really that bad. He was just so problematic that he had a couple of puffs.”

      “It’s okay,” I told her, “I’m fine now, no need to apologize.”

      “But still! I want to make it up to you.” She told me. “Let’s eat at the restaurant near the school on Monday! My treat.”

      A smile creeped up my face, Gayoung really knows how to lift my spirit up. She does know that food is my weakness.

Isaiah 29:13 - And the Lord said: “Because this people draw near with their mouth and honor me with their lips, while their hearts are far from me, and their fear of me is a commandment taught by men