Seoul, South Korea – October 12, 2016

LEE JIYEON | AYAKA

      It has been days since the new student transferred in school. And since then, Kai has been aloof towards me. I don’t know why but the only time we get to spend time with each other is when we go home from school. We sometimes cuddle, we laugh and all but there’s this something whispering at the back of my head to ask who that new student is to him. I mean, he has been with her in school most of the time. Even the gang seems to notice and they’re getting worried about it but I told them that everything’s fine. But I was lying—nothing’s fine. I have been bottling up my sentiments about this girl ever since I saw them at the playground. I have been trying to understand Kai but I’m close to breaking down now.

      “Hey Jiyeon,” someone called me, snapping me out of my trance.

      I looked at the man who’s approaching me and I immediately smiled as soon as I saw him.

      “Sehun,” I smiled as he sat beside me on the swing.

      We’re currently here in the playground. I constantly come here ever since I saw Kai and that new student here. Also, I have been with Sehun these past few days especially when Kai leaves me hanging. He’s there to listen to my rants and he would be such a sweetheart to comfort me whenever I need it.

      “What are you doing here?” he asked as he swings lightly on his seat.

      “Nothing,” I answered as I sighed, “I was just thinking.” I muttered.

      “It’s about Kai again?” he asked and I just smiled.

      “I don’t know what’s happening about us.” I sighed, “We just started and now, this girl is standing between us.” I told him.

      Whenever we talk about Kai and that girl, my emotions just seem to go all over the place. There’s this constant pain in my chest that tears my heart apart whenever they are the subject.

      “I don’t really know who this girl is that’s hurting you but I surely know that Kai loves you.” He told me assuringly, “Why don’t you talk to him?” he asked me and another sigh left my mouth.

      “It’s not that easy, Sehun.” I muttered, “I’m afraid of knowing the truth… I’m afraid to get hurt.” I exclaimed as I looked down.

      “You should face your fears Jiyeon.” He told me, “If you keep quiet, you will continue on hurting. You’re torturing yourself.”

      “I don’t know anymore, Sehun.”

      After that talk with Sehun, my day continued to be uneventful. I would sometimes talk to Kai but he’s mostly talking to that new girl which pissed me off. And now, he left the school without even telling me. There’s this very thin line that Kai is cutting and once that snaps, I will surely blow up.

      “Ji!” someone called.

      I turned around and saw the gang walking towards me and they’re not with Kai too. Where did that guy go?

      “Hey,” I smiled.

      “You’re alone?” Chanyeol asked but I didn’t respond and I guess they already got what I meant so they immediately changed the subject.

      “Uhm, ugh,” Gayoung muttered as she shifted awkwardly. She probably knows that I’m pissed with Kai. “Sehun, you should probably accompany Jiyeon home today.” She muttered.

      “Yeah,” Chanyeol nodded, “Then I’ll be the one to accompany Gayoung home.”

      “No need guys,” I smiled sadly, “I’ll just go home on my own.”

      “No Jiyeon,” Sehun muttered, “I insist. I would like to have an assurance that you’re safe. We wouldn’t want something to happen to you.” He told me and I just couldn’t help but to surrender.

      I’m too tired to argue with them plus, I just want to go home.

      I sighed and nodded, “Fine,” I answered.

      “Bye Ji!” Gayoung smiled as she kissed me on my cheeks.

      “Take a good care of Jiyeon.” Chanyeol told Sehun and he just nodded back.

      “Don’t worry, I’m Jiyeon’s knight in shining armor.” He kid.

      They laughed but I didn’t… I was too drained for that. I started walking on my way home while Sehun followed me on my side.

      “Are you okay?” he asked when Chanyeol and Gayoung were out of earshot.

      “I’m…” I breathed heavily and decided to be honest, even just for today, “I’m not fine,” I answered as I looked down, playing and fidgeting with my fingers.

      “Did you talk to him?” he asked, “You should tell him your worries. Tell him that that girl is bothering you and I know Kai. If he loves you, he will surely stay away from that girl to make you happy.” He exclaimed as he rested his arms around my shoulder and I couldn’t help but to lean against him while we were walking.

      This is what I need right now—a friend who will listen to me and I’m thankful that Sehun is here to hear me out and tell me advices.

      “I think I should answer Kai.” I blurted out in the middle of the blue and I seemed to get Sehun’s attention.

      “Answer him… as in?,,,” he asked, unsure and I nodded.

      He didn’t finish what he was about to say but I understood him. These past few days of not being with Kai most of the time led me to the decision to answer him earlier than usual. Because I mean, we’re not yet together officially and I’m already getting jealous just because he’s spending most of his time with this new girl. That’s why I decided to answer him this weekend. At least, I have every right to get jealous but now, I know my place. I know that I am just a mere girl that he is courting.

      “Yes,” I nodded, “I would want to answer him this weekend.”

      “Why?” Sehun asked, “I thought you will give him a hard time?” he asked but I didn’t answer. And as if Sehun read my mind, he gasped, “Don’t tell me you’re threatened with that girl?!” he asked, surprised. And when I didn’t respond, he gasped again, taking my silence as a yes. “You’re threatened by that girl!” Sehun stated.

      It wasn’t a question, it is a statement. Yes, he’s right, I am threatened. And that’s the reason why I suddenly had the urge to answer Kai. I mean, I’m done with letting Kai go and such. I want to fight head on and claim Kai as mine.

      “And if I am?” I asked, “Am I not supposed to be threatened?” I raise my brow, getting pissed but Sehun just laughed, puzzling me. “What are you laughing about?”

      “Haha,” he laughed, “I couldn’t believe that the most gorgeous woman I have ever known is threatened by some random girl!” he muttered, “I mean, I didn’t think that you have such insecurities and such.” He stated, “You’re too perfect for that.”

      I just laughed with him when he called me perfect, “I’m far from perfect, Sehun.” I told him, “And please, save your compliments.” I muttered as we continued on walking.

      We were already near the bus stop when I saw two familiar people that I do not wish to see right now. They were laughing and probably having a great time together. And when I saw them, I couldn’t help but to hear the sound of my heart breaking. Seeing Sooyeon and Kai together is better than seeing someone who just popped out of nowhere and suddenly grabbing Kai away from me. At least in the case of Sooyeon, I know that they have a past but this girl in front of me is a mystery. I don’t know her and I don’t know what she is in Kai’s life. I stopped on my tracks, causing Sehun to stop on his tracks too as he focused on the two people who was walking towards us. And when these two people saw us, surprise was written all over their faces.

      “Sehun,” the new student called, surprising me.

      Do they know each other?

      “Joohyun,” Sehun called, barely a whisper.

      “Sehun, do you know her?” I asked but Sehun didn’t respond.

      He was just staring at the girl, surprised and… there were pain in his eyes. I don’t know why but I surely saw those emotions in his eyes.

      “Kai, I think you should be the one to accompany Jiyeon home.” Sehun exclaimed, ignoring my question.

      “I-i…” Kai stuttered, “Yeah, of course.” He told Sehun, “I better get going Joohyun. See you tomorrow,” Kai exclaimed, turning to the new student.

      Kai walked towards me and grabbed my hand as he pulled me away from Sehun who was intently staring at the new student.

      “But Sehun…” I muttered as I looked back but Kai just dragged me away from them and when we reached the bus stop, I quickly pulled my hands away from his grasp, “What the hell is happening?” I asked as I looked at Kai who seemed troubled.

      “It’s nothing,” he told me but he was clearly lying.

      “Stop lying to me Kai,” I gritted through my teeth, not believing that he would lie on my face, “Tell me what’s going on.” I exclaimed as I stand my ground.

      “Come on, the bus is here.” He exclaimed, changing the topic but I didn’t budge.

      I will not leave this place until he tells me the truth.

      “Tell me the truth first or you’ll going to regret it.” I exclaimed, feeling the thin line of my patience, snapping.

      “It’s none of your business, Jiyeon.” He told me, calling me by my name which indicates that he is getting pissed.

      “None of my business?!” I snapped and by now, the bus has left and the people were staring at us. I shook my head and glared at him, “I can’t believe this Kai,” I exclaimed as I started walking away from him.

      I walked until I reached a small, quiet park. I think I need some time to think. Because I just can’t believe that Kai just lied to me and he lied to me about something like this.

      “A,” someone called and I already know who it is.

      “If you’re not going to tell me the truth, don’t bother talking to me.” I exclaimed as I sat on one of the bench.

      “I already told you,” Kai sighed, defeated, “It’s something that you need not to be worried about. It’s none of your business. It’s her’s,” he mumbled.

      “Not my business?” I asked as I stared at him, and he was there, looking sad and defeated, “Are you not my business, Kai?” I asked, “You’re clearly losing time with me because you have been with that girl for the couple of days and now you’re telling me that it’s not my business?!” I added, and I can feel my heart beating loudly as I felt anger and disappointment in my heart.

      I love Kai so much and losing him is something I can’t imagine right now. I don’t want to lose him over some random girl who just popped out of nowhere. And now, I just can’t believe how much I have fell inlove with him. I just can’t believe that he have grown that big in my heart over the months. He’s making me feel emotions I haven’t felt yet. He’s making me experience things that I feared the most.

      “W-what?” he asked, surprised by my sudden outburst.

      “Don’t ask me, ‘what?’ because Kai, my patience just snapped because of your insensitivity.” I muttered.

      “Insensitivity?” he asked, “A, please talk in the language that I understand.” He muttered, “I don’t get you.”

      Can he get even dumber?! Can’t he feel that my insecurities are eating me because of the new student?! Is he that insensitive?!

      “Can’t you see that I’m jealous over that perfect girl?!” I shouted, fuming.

      And there, I finally said it. I am jealous,

Author's message ♥

Hello babes! I'm really sorry if it took me a looooong time to update because I have been busy these past few days and I still am. Add the writer's block that appeared out of nowhere. So yeah, this chapter is crappy and I'm sorry but I promise that the next chapter would be better. You'll know Irene's identity soon but for now, I want you guys to guess who she really is.

Anyway, I hope you guys liked my update and if you did, please do subscribe and upvote! And if you have any guesses who Irene is or if you have any sentiments and say about the chapter, don't be afraid to comment. I love reading those, it keeps me motivated. Thank you again and I'll talk to you on the next update!

With lots of love, Han Jihyun ♣

1 Corinthians 3:3 - for you are still fleshly. For since there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshly, and are you not walking like mere men?