September 30, 2016 – Seoul, South Korea

PARK SOOYEON

      I came home late today since I stopped by my classmate’s place to finish the project that we were working on. When I arrived home, I quickly changed my clothes and decided to walk my little dog Koko in the neighborhood. I also need some fresh air after what happened today. I don’t know why Kai pushed me a moment ago when I hugged him. But somehow, I wasn’t a bit surprised—it seems like I have anticipated it before it actually happened but being able to experience it firsthand is just heartbreaking. I decided to go to the convenience store and sat where Kai and I used to hang-out when we were together. I sat on the bench and watched people come and go. Kai and I used to sit in this very same chair whenever he accompanied me home. We would always buy ice cream inside the convenience store and just talk about our day here. And now, I just miss him… us, together.

      “I miss you,” I whispered into thin air, wishing Kai would hear me.

      I have already noticed the changes in Kai’s behavior and his interests but somehow, I’m still hoping… still hoping that I could still love him… that he still loves me. I was so lost in my trance and I didn’t notice that Koko had already ran away from my grip. He ran towards a girl in a distance but I was shocked to see who it was.

      “J-jiyeon,” I called. She was holding into the straps of her bag with a flustered face. I quickly tugged Koko away from her while my dog continues on barking towards Jiyeon. “I-I’m sorry,” I apologized as I carried Koko into my arms.

      “I guess it hates me,” she chuckled awkwardly.

      I stared at Jiyeon’s face and I couldn’t help but to stare at her and wonder at her beauty. No wonder every guy at school wants her.

      “What brings you here?” I asked out of the blue, well, I guess that’s my way to start a conversation with her.

      From what I know, she lives far away from here since she lives just across Kai’s house. Kai’s house is really far from here, so yeah.

      “I went to Sehun’s house,” she answered, “I’m on my way home.” She answered back, “You?” she asked.

      “I’m just having a walk with Koko.” I smiled.

      After a while, we decided to sit on the bench where I was sitting a moment ago. I asked if I could talk to her and thank goodness she said yes.

      “Kai and I used to do this,” I mentioned out of the blue.

      “Oh yeah?” she asked, “Together with the dog?”

      “Yeah,” I smiled, “He really loves Koko.” After that, an awkward silence blew between us and no one dared to talk. But I decided to break the ice, asking the question that I was dying to ask her, “Jiyeon, do you love Kai?” I asked as I turned to her.

      I looked at her and she was surprised by my sudden question.

      “W-what?” she asked as she avoided my gaze.

      “Do you love him?” I repeated.

      I’ve always wanted to ask her this and today, I will get my answer.

      “Why?” she asked as she faced me, boring her eyes into me, “Do you still love him?” she asked.

      I smiled bitterly when she asked me those questions, “Yes, very much,” I answered truthfully. I found her hands and quickly held it, “Please Jiyeon, let me love him again.” I exclaimed, “Please help me bring him back to me.” I pleaded.

LEE JIYEON |AYAKA

      My friends told me once that I am a really nice and selfless person. Gayoung and Myungsoo even nag me for being too selfless. They said that I always look upon others and never look upon myself but I guess, I’m like that and I never regret being selfless because whenever I see people being happy because of me, I feel happy too.

      “Please help me bring him back to me.”

      Tonight, I regretted going home alone from Sehun’s house. I should’ve accepted his offer to accompany home so that I wouldn’t be here, talking to Kai’s ex-girlfriend, Sooyeon. “Please help me bring him back to me.” I was shocked by her sudden outburst. Help her bring back Kai?! Hello no! Kai… he’s mine.

      My heart was beating loudly and I can feel my heart break when she asked me that but I don’t know what gotten into me when I replied to her, “Sure,” I answered back, smiling.

      Did I just say yes? I sighed inwardly and hit my head mentally. I guess my tongue betrayed me once again and my nice side has come into surface.

      Her eyes grew big and I was shocked when she suddenly hugged me tight, “Oh my gosh!” she exclaimed happily, “You’re an angel! You don’t know how happy I am right now!” she muttered as she breaks from the hug.

      I can’t believe I just said yes because agreeing to what she wants seems like a suicide mission to me. I mean, I love Kai, I really do… but, I want to push him away and find his true happiness and I know that happiness is with Sooyeon. I will never make him happy unlike how Sooyeon can. I may be hurting now but this sacrifice is worth it knowing that Kai will finally find his happiness even though it means that I will be losing mine.

      A dreadful silence have passed until Sooyeon’s dog ran, “I-I better get going, thank you again!” she smiled as she ran after her dog.

      I stared at Sooyeon as she disappeared from the night and finally, I decided to go home. When I arrived home, I went straight to my room and lay on my bed. I couldn’t help but to think about Kai and Sooyeon being together. I felt my heart beating loudly, as it shatters to the heart break that I was feeling.

      “I guess this is really goodbye Kai.” I muttered, “I’m giving you back to her.”

      And then suddenly, a tear rolled down from the corners of my eyes. A tear came and then, I didn’t notice that I was already crying. I was sobbing while clutching my pillow into my chest. And all the tears that I have been holding on finally poured like little raindrops and when I couldn’t hold my loud sobs a little longer, I wailed loudly. I wept and cried. I didn’t care if someone would hear me crying so loudly but I just let my eyes speak for me. My heart felt like someone was squeezing it and I was having hard time breathing. Right there, I broke down as the sadness and heart break ate up my system.

      “Jiyeon?!” I heard loud knocks from outside of my door and I know eonni is worried sick.

      “Jiyeon, are you okay?” it was a male’s voice this time and I know, it is oppa.

      I don’t know what happened next but the next thing I knew, I was welcomed by an overwhelming darkness.

Seoul, South Korea – October 3, 2016

      Two days have passed since that incident with Sooyeon and good thing that it happened on the weekends because after I broke down from crying, I fainted and I was brought to the nearest hospital. I woke up, surprised to see white surroundings around me and I was informed that I fainted because of stress and fatigue. My sister asked what was bothering me but I lied, telling her that it’s just school stuffs that is making me stressed. She also asked me why I cried but I didn’t respond and said that I just want to rest, good thing she didn’t pry anymore and let me rest. I was kind of happy to be staying at the hospital because I was able to rest even just for a day, even forgetting about everything. I just slept in the hospital and just wakes up to eat. It was my way of coping up from all the stress and all. I stayed in the there for a day and went home on Sunday. And now, oppa decided to accompany me since he’s still worried about me.

      “Thanks oppa,” I smiled.

      “Don’t forget to drink your medicines,” he exclaimed, “I’ll be picking you up later.”

      I just nodded and quickly waved him goodbye, “Take care.” I smiled as he drived away from the school.

      I was walking on the hallway and I was hoping that I wouldn’t see Kai or Sooyeon because I can’t bear seeing them yet. But as I was on my way to my room, someone called me.

      “Jiyeon-ah!”

      I quickly looked back and I was shocked to see Sooyeon running towards me. Argh, I just said that I don’t want to see her and now, she’s here.

      When she reached me, a pretty smile flashed on her face, “Why don’t we go upstairs together? I want to tell you some things.” She winked.

      I tried refusing but I couldn’t even turn down that smile in her face so I didn’t have any choice but to just say yes. I guess she’s acting like my friend now after what happened last Friday but I don’t think I can act nor treat her as a friend right now.

      “I’ll make a surprise event for Kai tomorrow,” she informed me out of the blue, “It will be our monthsary.” She added. I just smiled bitterly, feeling that small pinch in my heart. I just decided to nod, just to give her some sort of response. “Can you help me?” she asked as she turned to me.

      I decided that enough is enough already. “N—“ I was about to refuse when the bell suddenly rang, stopping me from answering.

      “Great!” she smiled even though I haven’t answered yet, “I also heard that you play the piano! I’ve seen one of your performance.” She beamed, “I hope you could play for us tomorrow.” She exclaimed excitedly, “I’ll see you the auditorium tomorrow! The others will be there too!” she muttered as she finally waved goodbye.

      “Sooyeon!” I called but I guess she didn’t hear me anymore since she already ran. “I don’t want to,” I whispered as I sighed defeatedly.

      “Jiyeon,” I don’t know if I’m hallucinating or what but I’m hearing Kai’s voice right now.

      I looked around to find where that voice was coming from and was shocked to see Kai walking towards me.

      “K-kai,” I called, surprised.

      He stared at me and worry was written all over his face and I just don’t know why.

      “Are you okay?” he asked out of the blue.

      “W-what?” I asked, surprised.

      Why is he suddenly talking to me? I mean, it has been days since we started avoiding each other and now, he’s talking to me?

      “I-I saw you last Friday,” he started, “Hyung was carrying you out of your house and you were unconscious…” he trailed, “I-I was just worried. What happened to you?” he asked me.

      I didn’t know what to say or how to react but somehow, happiness bloomed into my heart. I guess it just feels great to hear him worrying about me again.

      “N-nothing,” I lied, “It was just fatigue and stress.” I answered.

      “Be—“ Kai was interrupted when someone called my name, yet again.

      “Ji!”

      I looked back and saw Myung running towards me and as soon as he arrived in our place, he placed his arms around my shoulders and smiled at me.

      “The bell already rang,” he exclaimed, “I’ll accompany you to your room.” He muttered.

      I just nodded and looked back at Kai and smiled apologetically, “I need to get going,” I exclaimed and left but before we could leave, Kai spoke.

      “Take care always,” I heard him—not too loud, not too soft, but just right.

Author's message ♥

Oh my gosh! I just realized that I'm actually celebrating my 5th year here in Asianfanfics today! July 21, 2012 was the day when I discovered this beautiful site and started writing. I have been writing for five long and amazing years already! I have enjoyed every minute I've spent here in Asianfanfics and I hope that I would last longer here in Asianfanfics and to just write into my heart's content. I really want to thank the creator of this site because if it wasn't for him, I would still be writing on my Microsoft word without any people appreciating my work. I hope you guys will continue and support my stories until I live up my dreams as an author some day in the future. I love you guys :*

Also, I hope you guys liked my update and if you do, please do subscribe and upvote! Write what you think on the comments section and I'll be happy to read all your thoughts and rants!

Sending lots of love, Han Jihyun ♣

Fun fact: My very first story wasn't Breaking Kai's heart. I had a completed story entitled, 'EXO-K's Kai is my nampyeon?!'. I deleted it after I completed BKH because I lost the last chapter of it and I was too lazy to re-write the last chapter. Also, my writing was back then HAHAHHAHA.

Galatians 6:9 - And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.