Luoyong was buried after three days on top of a hill. It was one mournful ceremony where every attendee shared the family’s grief. From Junpyo to Zelo, they all paid their respects to not just a friends’ grandfather, but an inspirational man.

Kris joined Jaejoong, and the rest of the original F4 to carry the casket while Jandi and their mother stayed by Yoonmei’s side who neither talked nor eat.

Among all of them, it was the granddaughter who took it harder. They may not have shared their entire lives but living together with him for the last months left her with a yawning gap.

When Yoonmei went home for the first time after that tragic night, she found herself sitting on the stairs, still in her hanbok, and reading Luoyong’s journal.

It detailed everything about her. From the day she was born, and until she left to sleep over at Jaejoong’s loft for his birthday.

She read every date, description, and emotion her grandfather felt every moment he spent with her. ‘Jaejoong called just now and he said MeiMei learned to ride a bike. She’s 7!’ she smiled and flipped the page.  ‘MeiMei is coming today from Hong Kong. I don’t know what that troublemaker has done this time. Aigooo…’ she smirked.

As she continued reading every paragraph, she gets more numb and slowly losing her soul. She has gone dry from all that crying, that even if she forces herself, no more tears would fall. Not even a sob would slip through her dried throat.

‘Today, we went to Disneyland. MeiMei wore a Minnie Mouse headband and she’s sooo cute!’ a very faint smile came on. ‘I think that girl is being bullied at school. Eotteokke? Should I do something about it? It breaks my heart seeing my little girl this way…’ that created a lump in .

Just the thought of it made her grip on the edges of the journal.

Yoonmei failed to realize that she’s gradually falling into a deep dark whole with no light at the end of the tunnel.

Even her emotional defenses are at the lowest point.

‘Seeing my MeiMei smile makes me the happiest grandpa in the world. She even smiled when I changed her bandages in her ankle. I know she’s in pain but it was priceless….’

Her vision got clouded and was too distracted to realize that the pages caught her tears of sadness. She even failed to hear the sobs and gasps ringing through her ears.

‘MeiMei called Jaejoongie, oppa!’ she sniffled and wiped the wetness from her eyes. ‘I’m so happy! But I promise her not to tell. Hehehe….’

She shut her eyes and sunk her face on the pages. “Grandpa…” she whispered. ‘Please come back… I’ll do anything for you… Just… Please…’

Half of her disappeared. She felt empty, lost, and disoriented. She only needs the simplest reminder of Luoyong but it hurts even more. He was her rock. He was a friend, confidant, bodyguard, and that man in the world who would never hurt her.

Yoonmei forced herself to raise her head and continue until the last page. There she saw the most heartwarming message she ever read and her strength through all the pain.

‘Dear my sweet MeiMei, If you are reading this by now, I’m probably in Heaven already, or you might have stolen this from my closet…’ she chuckled and sniffled her running nose. ‘Life has taught me in many different ways. I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others, sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself….’ she blew out a huge air keeping her little strength.

‘That family and friends are what make us who we are today, and without them we would never be complete….’ she placed a palm on her raging heart. ‘That rock bottom is a good solid ground and a dead end street is just a place to turn around….’ she looked up for a bit and took another breath. ‘Think smart, stay true, and just follow your heart.’

“Grandpa…” she wept.

‘Stay strong my sweet MeiMei. Your dad, mom, and Jaejoong are always there, from beginning to the end, they will always be there…’ she gasped. ‘Even yeye... I will always be beside you, watching over you, guiding you whichever path you will take…’ she gripped the edge of the last page. ‘From now until forever… Wo ai ni, MeiMei.......................... PS: Don't forget to water the orchids by the flower bed. They need extra attention just like you. Mehrong~’

Jaejoong came and saw her hugging a notebook while sinking her face in between her bended knees. Having a loved one pass away was devastating but seeing his own sister slowly dying was just too much to bear.

“E-Eotteokke…” the word was hardly audible but Jaejoong heard it correctly.

He sat beside her and embraced her right away. “It’s okay… It’s okay…” he whispered. “Let it out… I’m here, MeiMei…” he placed his chin on her head. “I will be here for you, sis… I’ll do everything for you…” he slowly pushed her shoulders and held her face.

He then wiped her tears with his thumb while looking into her swollen eyes. “Mei! If you want to forget about everything, then do it! You wanna go back to Hong Kong? Go! America? London? I don’t care! Do anything that you want! I just hate seeing you this way…”

Yoonmei sunk her face back into his chest and hugged him tighter. ‘I don’t know, Jae… Maybe I will…’