Chapter 22
Donghae and Heechul had come with me. Donghae had shown me everything I needed and wished me a good night before he left. Heechul stayed for a little while and talked to me. He told me to wake him up, if I shoud need anything and this things. Donghae had done so, too. I gave both a smile and promised though I didn't suppose waking them up!
Then I was alone. In Donghae's room. It was really nice of him that I could sleep here but I felt a bit uncomfortable. I took my iod and listened to music while sat on the be watching the room without recognizing anything. I closed my eyes and decided to change clothers. Heechul gave me one of his relaxing-trouses and I got a t-shirt from Donghae. I laied in the bed and watched the wall over me while the voice of Jared Leto –singer of 30 seconds to Mars- was screaming in my ear.
After some time I turned the iPod of and laied my head on the pillow. I wanted to sleep. Maybe I would dream something that had nothing to do with illnesses and my friend back in Germany. I closed my eyes and tried to find a comforable position.
There was a certain smell in my nose. It came from the pillow and the t-shirt. Donghae. It really smelled like him. Well, that was more than logical. I had to smile. The smell was really nice. It was strange to smell it all the time but I liked it.

Half past 2. I sighed. I still wasn't asleep and it seemed like I wouldn't sleep in thins night. I stood up. I didn't wanted to wake up Heechul or one of the others but I couldn't lay in the bed anymore. I went into the living-room and sat down on the sofa and watched the dark TV in the darkness. I took the blanket which laid next to me and and put it around my body. I just sat there and did nothing. Really nothing. I didn't thought of something or looked at a certain point.
'Miau' I heard next to me and the next moment Heebum sat on my lap. Sweet cat. I loved cats. I took one hand of me out of the blanket and it. I sat there just Heebum till I heard a noise. I didn't mind but suddenly someone stood in front of me.
"Daesang", a familiar voice asked.
"Yes", answered without looking up from the cat.
"What are you doing here?" It was Donghae.
"I can't sleep. But what are you doing here?" I answered and asked at once.
"Well, I woke up and thought I should have a look at you. If you are alright." Even in the darkness I could see his face smiling at me when I finally had looked up.
Donghae sat next to me and we both watched the cat I was still .
"You're okay?" he asked. I shrugged.
"Don't know. I think more or less."
"I think I can imagine how you feel. Maybe not exactly but in a way…" I nodded.
"But I think it was harder to lose your dead… I mean, my friend is alive. Of course she can die because of the illness…" I couldn't finished the sentence because my voice broke and tears ran down from my eyes.
Donghae laid his arms around me.
"It's okay", he just said and stayed in that position. The hug helped me. It was warm and full of consolation. And again there was this nice smell of him. I never really noticed it before. I laid my head on his shoulder and looked at Heebum who had stood up from my lap and walked over my arm so he could reach my face. First he just smell at it and then he started my tears away. I had to smile and heard Donghae laughin silently in my ear.
"You're doing really well, Heebum!" He said and it made me smile even more.
"Donghae-oppa?" I asked.
"Yeah."
"Thanks a lot" I said and tried to keep the smile on my face.
"You don't have to thank for that." He smiled at me.
"You'll see, everythign will be alright. Maybe it'll take some time, but it'll be alright." His smile had me happy. It lighted my mood a bit like it had done everytime I had seen it.
Heebum laid again on my lap and enjoyed that I was him.
"He really likes you", Donghae said silently. "Like The others do, too." I looked at him and he looked directly into my eyes.
"And like I do."