Chapter 21
„You have two options", Heechul said suddenly with an angry face. "Well honestly said, it is just one." I really could fell the anger of him. Even Taemin didn't looked happy, maybe angry, too.
"Tell us what is up to you." There was something in his voice that sounded as if he wanted to force me.
I felt empty. Like there was a big hole inside of me. And the rest. Everything was sorf of dark. Black. Sad. Hopeless. My throat was closed, there was no air I could breath. My heart felt like a stone. Cold, hard but even though there was a lot of pain. And then the tears came. I really thought I couldn't cry anymore after all the time I did but suddenly warm wet tears ran over my face. My hands were fists. I didn't know where I got from the power to do it.  
Heechul and Taemin changed quickly and suddenly Taemin's arms were around me to hug me. Just a second later Heechul's arms were there, too. It felt good but still wrong. Not because they hugged me but the fact that they could hug me and I couln't hug my friend. My friends back home in Germany.
"What happened, Sweety?" Heechul asked quietlysaying the nickname he gave me. His voice was really soft. I still tired to get air and to find the right words.
"I…I told you about my friend…" I couldn't speak any further.
"You mean, the Ill one? The meagre one?" Taemin exactly knew who I was talking about. I told both of them about her. I nodded because I wasn't able to speak.
It took a long time till I could speak again and the boys didn't say a word. They just held me in their arms.
"The… illness… got… worse." It was really hard. "She's now in a special hospital."
I could see Taemin's shocked face. And from my back I could feel that Heechul's huf got stronger.
"Sweety, that are really band news", he said, his voice full of sadness. My legs trembled so we sat on the sofa, both still had their arms around me. This time I hide my face at Heechul's shoulder. I heard some voices and knew that the others were afraid of what happened but I didn't listened closely enough to understand everything. The treas still flowed like a river from my eyes.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Heechul asked. His voice was still really soft.
"Be-because you weren't here…"
"But you know that you can call us everytime. And I mean not just us two" Taemin said.
"But… I didn't wanted you to be worried about me. You had to to other things."
"Sweety, how often I have to tell you that that  doesn't matter!" said Heechul his voice full of care.
"You were far away…" I couldn't finish my sentence.
"Are you telling us that this happened during the vacacion?" Taemin asked a bit shocked. I nodded.
"At the beginning…"
"Please, tell that I am not right when I say that you didn't talked to anybody." I could imagine how Heechul's face had to look like. Sad, full of care and even a bit hurt.
I didn't said a word. After a preriode of silence I said:
"I fell you… sad and … empty. I think I'm a bad friend. You know I'm not in Germany. I can't held any of my friends in my arms and I have the feeling that I don't support them." My voice broke.
"Hey." It was a different voice. I looked through my hair and saw Donghae sitting on the floor in front of the sofa.
"Don't say that you are a bad friend. That's not right. You're the best friend I cold imagine. I mean you know… you do the right things. You do the things a real friend would do. You worrie about the others and nobody agrees when you say you're a bad friend." He gave me a bright smile.
"Please, don't worrie about not supporting you friends. I bet you wrote a lot of mails and tried to call all your friends." Well, that was right. Everyday I wrote an e-mail and sometimes I tried to phone my friends.
The tears finally stopped.
"And please stopp crying. I know that it is hard but… We other fell a lot better if you stopp." His look was full of care like the others, too. He gave me again a smile. He wated to make me smile because I knew that I normally had to smile back then I saw him smiling but this time I couldn't. There were so many bad and really sad thoughts in my head that I had headache. My head felt like it wanted to explode.

The rest of the evening I was at the Super Junior Dorm. From time to time the boys who joined me sitting on the sofa changed. They were all really worried about me. I didn't spoke much. A word here and there but not more. For dinner Ryeowook cooked my favourite food. Curry. But I didn't wanted to eat. I had the feeling that I couldn't eat anything. But when Yesung wated to feed me I decided to eat on my own. When it was time to go back to school I stood up and wanted to get my jacket Heechul crossed my way.
"Where do you wanna go?" he asked.
"Back to boarding-school. It's time."
"Oh no, I won't let you go." On his face was a bright smile but I still noticed sorrow.
"Oppa…"
"You'll stay the night." What did he just say? He pulled me back to the sofa.
"But…"
"No but. I phoned the nice old woman and explained the situation. Did you think that we would let you go and be along the whole night long?" I was really surprised.
"She's okay with that. I promised her to care for you." He pushed me on the sofa next to Donghae.
"You can sleep in my room" he said.
"No, I can't…"
"Of course you can. That's what friends do for each other." Heechul and he smiled brightly.
So it was like that. I would stay at the dorm and sleep in Donghae's room. At about 11 or 12 Taemin left. He wasn't happy about that but he rpomised to come back in the morning. After he left I went to bed. I felt really tired and empty.