Luhan walked out of the kitchen and into the hallway with Kris and Lay helping him walk on either side. Once he made it to the hallway, he heard you retelling his story. All of a sudden he stopped walking.

"Luhan, just go back upstairs, come on." Lay urged.

"Hold up, just wait a little, I want to hear this." Kris nodded knowingly as they stood in place listening in on your story. You were already nearing the end, and Luhan began to cry as his lip quivered. His eyes were distant and endlessly welled up with tears, his whole body shuddering.
There was suddenly a long pause until you said your final words.

"I killed her."

Luhan stopped shuddering and instead, tensed with anger and frustration. He balled up his fists before turning around and storming back into the kitchen.

"Stop it! Stop saying it's your fault!"

You stood up in retaliation, "But it is my fault! Not just because of Xia but because of you too!"

"What are you talking about?!" Both of you were yelling at the top of your lungs, voices increasing by the minute.

"Ever since she died, your parents stopped caring about you, they abandoned you here and practically forgot they had a son!"

Luhan lowered his head, his voice diminishing into a hush, "So what?"

"So what??... It's my fault." You walked past them and into the hallway with a heavy heart.

Luhan finally regained composure of himself, "Yejin-ah... Wait!" Luhan chased after you. Chinji got up expecting to follow after you, but Kris held her back.

"Let them talk it out. They need it."

She sat back down, "Can someone explain to me what's going on?!" she said exasperatedly.

Kris sighed, "There's a couple of things you need to know first."

He sat down comfortably into his chair before explaining.

"Back when Yejin was starting high school, her parents already had the expectation that she was going to become some kind of successful doctor. They lost hope for Yerin and Yemin since neither of them seemed fit for the job. Yerin desperately wanted to be in the fashion business, and Yemin was a hopeless dropout. We all knew it." Kris heaved a sigh. 

"So they practically placed all the expectation, hope, and pressure all on her."

Kris erupted, "Damn it!" He punched the table with enough force to make the plates lift off the table for a second and clatter on impact.

"She was 14! All 14 year-olds are supposed to do is to be respectful, kind, and get good grades, and she did all of that! But it was never enough for them. They always wanted more and more from her!" Kris looked just about ready to punch a hole into the wall. Lay let out a heavy sigh and continued on for Kris.

"Her parents hired a tutor to help her through her regular studies, but also teach her all about the medical field. She was made to study almost every disease out there, one by one. When she said she was a slacker, she didn't mean for her regular school subjects. It was more directed to the whole medical learning part. To study medicine at the age of 14? It's torture. But she endured it, simply living off the hope that maybe one day she could actually please her parents."

"Are you kidding me?! But... Mr. and Mrs. Park are so nice!" Chinji cried.

"But that's now. They don't have to threaten her to study anymore. She does it on her own."

"But why?" Chinji shook her head in confusion.

"It only took one sentence to change her perspective on life." Lay breathed out before sniffling a little.

"Luxia... she had hemophilia like me. And coincidentally, Yejin was learning all about hemophilia that week and how to do first aid for a serious wound. She kept telling us she forgot it all at that moment." Lay took a shaky breath and looked at the ceiling.

"None of us expected a 14-year-old like her to miraculously save her life.... But her parents did... They made some sort of sick plan to make her study more, but it was just cruel and definitely nothing a parent should do."

"What'd they say?"

"We were all there when she was punished, they purposely made us watch her get beat and made her apologize to Luhan thousands of times and if I recall exactly what they said..... It was something like..

'It's all your fault that she died, you are the only one to blame for this. Your irresponsibility and immaturity led to this. You have brought this upon yourself. If only you studied, you would have known how to save her, and now look at what you've done. She's gone and it's all your fault." Lay looked down, a tear slipping down his cheek. 

"After the first few words, she had already begun to blame herself for it. For her own parents to say it... It broke her... She locked herself in her room for an entire day, and when she came out, she had practically gone insane. It turned out, that she spent around 3 hours repeating to herself that it was her fault, we could hear her the entire time. And the rest of the day she spent studying. But even then, her parents still weren't satisfied. Worst part of it- Her parents didn't give a . They didn't know it yet, but they had already created a monster in her— always craving for the acknowledgment from her parents that she never got. She went mad from it... shutting the world out, shutting us out, and caging herself in. Over time we weren't even sure if she was depressed or what, but she stopped smiling. And as if her parents disappointment wasn't enough... It turned out that Yejin's ex... the one she broke up with that day... he was the shooter."

Chinji gasped at the mere mention of such a cruel deed.

"He was aiming for Yejin but Luxia got in the way and... " There was another long pause.

"Somehow, they miraculously hid the fact that he was the shooter, from the media, so his friends at school defended him and put the blame...on Yejin. Everyone believed them and she was bullied for it. So now, not only did her parents think so, but now the entire school thought she was a murderer. It died down after a few years, when Yejin's parents finally requested the school that if anyone mentioned the incident or bullied her, that they be suspended immediately."

"No one even fcking knew the truth!" Kris slammed his fists onto the table again.

"We tried to tell people that it wasn't Yejin's fault, but no one would believe us.... And that wasn't even the only reason she says it's her fault." Lay grimly said.

"There's more?" Chinji's eyes widened in horror... but there was more than just fear... there was pain present in her eyes too. 

"To Luhan's parents, Luxia was the golden child, and after she died, they completely lost it. His parents divorced after moving to China when her funeral passed. They left him here and told him to do whatever he wanted with his life and that they didn't care about him. They abandoned him and said they no longer had a son."

"How is that even humanely possible.?! It all seems too unbelievable!!" Chinji shreiked.

"But its reality and she blamed herself for all of it." Lay muttered.

"How could she possibly survive through all of that?!" Chinji cried.

Kris smiled for the first time at that moment, "Because she's strong like that."

"Everyone around her planted this idea in her head that she killed Luxia, and it grew to be her own misconception of life. Her own reality. It was like she was living in her own never-ending nightmare... and 6 years later... she still thinks so. It was the reason she has hemophobia now, just the plain thought of having your best friend's blood spilled on your hands.. the shock was too much for her to handle, and every time she sees that much blood, it takes her back to that time."
 

Xiumin, Chen, and Tao were listening intently with horrified looks growing more intense with every word Lay had said. 

"But now.. she's different... and we have you to thank for that." Lay and Kris looked thankfully at Chinji, "We finally have our old Yejin back because of you. We got to see her smile." Kris's temper had begun to alleviate when a thought crossed his mind.

"We should check up on them, who knows what damage they could've already caused."

The 6 of them stood up out of their chairs with a tugging feeling at their throats. As they neared the end of the hall the sound of you and Luhan screaming at each others throats grew louder and more vivid. It was clear to them, that you were crying your wails of anger only made it obvious. And they made it in time to hear the last and final outburst.

"Luhan, you know it was my fault! You've known it all along! Just admit it!"

"NO! It's not your fault! Stop saying that!"

"Then tell me why you're angry at me!"

"Because..." Luhan was at a loss of words but you provoked him to the point where you forced his first thoughts out of his mouth.

"Because you what?! Say it, Luhan, SAY IT!"

"BECAUSE YOU LET HER DIE!"

Silence followed as shock rushed through Luhan's head. He didn't mean to say it, but it slipped from his lips. Everyone froze in place, the lights had been turned off and all they could see was Luhan's trembling silhouette and shadow at the bottom of the stairs and your figure already half way up. The moonlight seeped through the windows and reflected off of your tears causing them to glisten on your cheeks. You smiled half-heartedly as more weight pulled your already heavy-heart past rock bottom. You felt like you were sinking as you dropped your head to let your hair cover your face. It was your only defense mechanism to hide from the world that spun around you.

"See? ... Doesn't it feel great to finally let it all out? To finally be able to say the truth and what you've been thinking for the past 6 years?"

"Yejin-ah, I didn't mean to—" You cut him off by turning on your heels and retreating up the stairs and into your room. He reached out his arm for you but when you had left him in the dust, he slowly retracted his arm back towards him and to his side, realizing your presence had already left him.He hung his head low feeling like such and a**hole.

Everyone rushed to his side trying to comfort him, telling him it would be alright, except for Lay. He stood in place hard as a stone cold stature, inside he was fuming. His fuse was short at that moment, and like a time bomb, he waited until the second he exploded.

"HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY SAY THAT TO HER?!?" 

Luhan looked up, taken aback, and clearly hurt by his words.

"Because it's the truth. The doctors told me that when they entered her hospital room, her lifeline and oxygen mask had been removed and cut. They said the last person to be in the room was Yejin." All eyes rounded.

"The truth?" Lay scoffed, "You all don't know ! Sure she blamed herself for ruining your life and not knowing how to save your sister, but that's only half of the story!!!"

"Lay, what are you even talking about?"

"That day... I was at the hospital before she died. Yejin begged the doctors to tell you some story to make you believe it was her fault.! I watched Yejin cry at her bedside from outside the door. It killed me to watch her, and yet i couldn't show my face... But I wanted to see Luxia's face one last time."

Chinji caught that last sentence, and the tone he said it in, she knew it. She could recognize that tone anywhere and it only came form one source— love.

"She looked so pale, and I just wanted to be by her side and—" Lay stopped himself before he got too carried away.

"The doctors came in and told Yejin to step out of the room, so I hid my face. When she was clear out of sight, I listened in on their conversation and I just couldn't believe what I heard."

"What did they say?" Luhan's face hardened, "Tell me what they said.!" Desperation was creeping up his voice.

"They asked her if she still wanted to live." 

The room went silent, "They told her that she'd be able to live, but there would be so many consequences... There would've been an 85% chance the surgery wouldn't work since most people didn't survive it, and with her age and condition, it just added to the risk factor, and even if it did work, she'd have to take several medications, and have check-ups almost every day... They seemed to list everything that could go wrong, basically telling her she couldn't live a normal life...." Lay's lip quivered.

"The look on her face." His expression cringed.

"I knew she lost hope. It's like they were trying to make her say she wanted to die.... But her answer..."

Lay looked like a crumpled piece of paper, wanting to curl up in a ball, just from remembering her lifeless figure sprawled out on the bed, pale and limp.

"I knew it, just by looking at her face, she didn't want to say it... but she did."

FLASHBACK**

"If that's how my life would be until I die, then no. I don't want to live." Tears poured down Luxia's cheeks but she refused to show any emotion, as she kept a straight face.

"Are you sure about this Miss Lu?" The head doctor asked with concern.

"Yes but before you cut my life line, I have a few requests."

"And what would that be Miss Lu?"

"Cut my line before you let Yejin in here, I don't want her to see."

"You mean your friend?"

She slowly nodded, "And one last thing... If she asks for anything regarding me... Please do whatever she says."

"Yes of course, Miss Lu."

"You may proceed." She closed her eyes awaiting to take her last and final breath when someone burst through the door.

"NO! STOP!" Someone barged into the room yelling. The doctors froze. Luxia craned her neck with little movement, still trying to prevent the pain that shot up her spine.

"Y-Yixing?"

"Don't do it Xia! DON'T! Please.!" Lay begged.

The doctors interrupted the conversation.

"Security! Get this young man out!"

The guards came quickly and grabbed Lay's arms with a firm grip dragging him out.

"Wait, Wait! I'll cooperate, just let me stay here with her."

The doctors turned to Luxia for an answer, and she slightly shook her head, indicating that it was ok. The guards let Lay go as he rushed to her bedside.

"Sir, please don't interfere with our procedure, once we begin, please just wait till we are done." Lay nodded silently as he stood beside Luxia's bedside grasping her hand tightly between his own two. He watched anxiously as the doctors began to unhook wires here and there, cut the oxygen line, and finally releasing her from the blood bag that provided her of the life she would no longer have.

"It'll take maybe 5 minutes for her to finally..."

The doctors words trailed off as Lay tenderly looked at Luxia's pale face. He stayed there holding her hand as tight as he could, feeling her squeeze with whatever strength she had left. He stayed for the last 5 minutes of her life as her grip weakened and finally went limp in his two hands.

FLASHBACK END**

Luhan broke down in tears for the nth time that night as he punched the walls beside him.

"! How come you never told me?!"

"Because Jin asked me to. She made me promise not to tell anything and make sure you believed what the doctors said."

"Jinjin... ... Yejin." Luhan's eyes widened realizing what he had done. He bolted up the stairs for you with Kris, Xiumin, Tao, and Chen following, leaving Lay at the bottom of the stairs. He sighed, "I hope she doesn't hate me for telling."

"She won't." Chinji came up behind him from the shadows and placed a hand on his shoulder, but quickly retracted when he jumped in fright.

"Sorry didn't mean to scare you." Chinji smiled sweetly after he sighed in relief.

"It's alright...."

There was an awkward silence, but Chinji quickly broke it and finally spoke.

"So Luxia..."

"What about her?"

"You loved her didn't you."

Lay immediately blushed and turned his head to the side, but even in the shadows it was obvious. But recalling the absence of his one and only first love, his face dimmed in utter regret, but he nodded slightly admitting it.

"Tell me about her." Chinji took hold of his arm and led him back into the kitchen. She poured him a cup of hot chocolate and placed it in front of him. He took a sip willingly.

"I met her in the hospital. I was getting treatment for my hemophilia, but so was she. And when I was afraid, she would be the one to hold my hand." He smiled a little, remembering the moment.

"I didn't even know she was Luhan's sister either, and when I found out she was, I thought it was fate, cause we met again.

Chinji smiled knowingly. And spoke with silence just letting him speak.

"We both kind of knew we had a thing for each other but neither of us ever confessed. We were both satisfied with being the way we were."

Lay chuckled as a rush of memories clouded his mind.

"It was funny cause every time a girl would ask me out, I'd go and ask her if I should date the girl, and of course she'd say no. And it was the same for her too. Some dude would ask her out, she'd ask me, and I would say no. Luhan and Kris kept on urging both of us to go for each other, but we never did... until it was too late."

Chinji gave him a comforting pat on the back.

"While I was holding her hand for her last 5 minutes. I finally got up the courage to confess to her."

FLASHBACK***

Lay gently held Luxia's hand between his and raised them to his lips, placing a soft kiss to the back of her hand.

"It's cold isn't it?" She mumbled.

"The weather? It's pretty warm outside." Lay smiled brightly.

"No.... my hand."

Lay's smile dwindled, he held her palm up to his cheek and lightly chuckled.

"Still as warm as ever. You'd still feel like the sun even in Antarctica."

Luxia smiled a little. She was about to start a conversation, but she knew of the time she had and desperately needed to know the answer to a question that seemed to be eating her.

"Do you love me?"

Lay's eyes larged a little as he blushed like a mad man.

"Ye-Yes?"

"Why do you sound unsure?"

"I don't know..." Lay grew nervous and rubbed the nape of his neck, but he realized that if he was going to say it, he had to say it now. He gulped nervously as he prepared his answer.

"I've always loved you. Ever since I first met you and even up until this point. You are the light in my world when everything else goes black. I find happiness whenever I'm with you, and you couldn't have made me any happier at this very moment. You are the first thought I have in the mornings and the last thought I have before I wake up. Spending these last few minutes with you— I wouldn't have it any other way."

Lay leaned over the bed and placed a soft lingering kiss right on top of her lips. She smiled in response.

"Me too." She whispered.

They left a lingering stare between them until Luxia broke it off and stared at the ceiling.

"I wish I could stay with you and go back to the way things used to be." Her voice barely audible. Lay was about to retaliate and explain to her that she could, but realizing her wish to be normal, Lay stopped himself and instead sighed and agreed with her. He knew her hate for hospitals and for her to add more visits along with the ones she already had to attend to, she would rather die. Of course, back then it was figurative language, and yet now it became reality.

A meaningful tear escaped the side of her eyes as she tried to look on the bright side of things, but also thinking over the future she could have had.

"Well, at least I get to leave knowing I;m loved." She made her best efforts of an eye smile, though it was very oxy-moron like because she cried along with it. Lay buried his face into her stomach.

"I get....... to... die....... happy." Her voice diminished with every word as if pieces of her life escaped from her lips. And that was it. She closed her eyes and prepared herself to be descended into the dark and bottomless pit that would take her away from the love of her life.

With each passing second, the peaks on her heart rate monitor grew shallower and shallower as it slowly dropped to a dangerously low level, the monitor beeped in warning indicating her life was slipping away. Lay's head shot up as panic rose up in him.

Then the moment finally came—The flat line. A thin straight line shown in the monitor while a high-pitched monotonous beep sounded throughout the room.

"Xia?... Xia... XIA!!" Lay frantically shook her arms for even a trace of life left in her——

but there was none.

FLASHBACK END***

"A few minutes later, Yejin came barging through, she was surprised to see me. But when she looked at Xia... she already knew." 

Lay wiped away a tear and sniffled.

"She was so angry and she was yelling at the doctors... but when we told her it was Xia's decision.. She just broke down....The doctor's told her of Xia's requests and let her ask for anything she wanted. We all kind of expected her to ask why Xia chose to die, but instead... she asked them to put the blame on her... She said for them to tell Luhan that she was the last one in the room before Xia died and saying that Xia's death wasn't an accident. She knew that she could have been sued and gone to jail. But she said it was a small price to pay for such a crime. Of course Luhan didn't press charges, but I guess he always had a part of him that blamed Yejin."

"That's just like her to be so altruistic." Chinji sighed.

"Yeah, I know."

A silence followed, but it wasn't awkward, it was more of a way of speaking without words.

"Xia... She was still just as beautiful even as she was dying."

Lay closed his eyes remembering her beauty.

"I'm sure she was....." Chinji said slightly nodding.

"I'm sure she was."

____________________________________________________________________
A/N:

SORRY IT'S BEEN AWHILE SINCE I LAST UPDATED. D_____O

PLEASE FORGIVE MEEEE D:

BUT ANYWAY. THIS WAS MORE OF AN EXPLANATION TO THE CHAPTER BEFORE. I WAS A LITTLE TOO VAGUE IN THE LAST CHAPTER AND I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT TOO. I HAVE BEEN SLIGHTLY BUSY THESE PAST FEW WEEKS AND I DIDN'T GET THE CHANCE TO UPDATE AND STUFF<3

WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK ;DDDD LOL

 

(ON A SIDENOTE... HAVE YOU HEARD B.A.P'S NEW SONG ONE SHOT?!?!?!<3333 OMGGEEEEE...>>>>>>>> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zRzl1d5vNU)


YEAH, A LITTLE HYPER WHEN IT CAME OUT.

I ALSO HAVE TO ASK SOMETHING... THIS STORY CAN GO IN MANY DIRECTIONS, I'VE NOTICED THAT I'M PUTTING QUITE A LOT OF DRAMA IN HERE AND I WANT TO ASK NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

thank you... comments are loved<3

NO PLAGIARISMM!!!