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BTS Jungkook - What Are We?

06.

juniorinfinite

Name : kwon jihyun
Who youwant: jungkook from bts
Genre: angst
Specific: Angst at first and maybe a happy ending? Its up to you :)

It was hard and complicated. You weren't sure what your relationship with Jungkook was. One minute he is calling you and treating you like you’re his girlfriend, and then he acts like he doesn't know you and runs off chasing other girls.

But it confused you even more when he would call you while he was with these other girls, and you didn't know what to feel. Should you be happy he thought about you while he was with another girl? Or should you be angry he called you while he was with another girl? You don't know what you are to him, and you're not sure what he is to you.

You like him, but you don't know if he feels the same way. Calling him a friend, you don't even know if that's what you should address him as. Before all of this, you were friends with him, really good friends and then all the flirting and that stuff happened, and now you don't know where this stand.

You knew guys like Jungkook always had girls around whether he wanted them or not. He turned heads and girls were anything but shy when it came to trying to get his attention. It was strange because you never tried to get his attention. You were usually the one who would avoid guys like him because of what he attracted. Of course, he taught you to never judge a book by its cover, and underneath all that he was a better person.

He would sometimes lace his fingers with yours when you he called you at 2 in the morning and wouldn't leave your house until you went on a short walk with him around the block. He would sometimes wrap his arm over your shoulder and introduced you as his girlfriend to other girls. And there were times he would introduce you as just a friend.

Is it wrong that you don't know what to feel? It's no lie, you did feel guilt of happiness when he would do things like hold your hand whenever and wherever, and introduced you as his girlfriend to others, especially to other girls. It made you extremely happy to hear him introduce you as his girlfriend. You knew so yourself to not feel such a thing because as easily as he says it, it also disappeared as fast. You hated that it did bother you and you did get jealous when he would bring other girls around you. You didn’t understand why he would do such a thing and then pretend like it never happened.

You were stupid and you were foolish. You’re too sensitive and too weak and as the day progresses you end up hurting yourself for a guy like Jungkook. It wasn’t like you didn’t try to stop. You met other guys and you felt like things could get better, but Jungkook always chased them away. He always interfered and it drove you crazy.

Just what exactly is it that he wants? You were doing fine and you were moving on but he keeps interfering and he chased away all the guys who could potentially be your future boyfriend.

“Why are you doing this?!” You angrily questioned. “Why? What is it that you want?!” You screamed frustrated. It happened one too many times and you can’t take it anymore. “Why are you so selfish? You don’t even want to be with me and yet you won’t even let me be happy?” Your tears were falling and your emotions were growing strong. This was the first time Jungkook saw you cry. This wasn’t the first time your tears fell for a jerk like him. He reached a hand out and you slapped it away. You covered your face burying a sob. He hesitated again, apologetic that he had done what he did. He hated that he made you cry and he didn’t know how to stop it. He was selfish. He wants you but at the same time he isn’t sure if he can because girls like you don’t play around when it comes to feelings and being in a relationship. He fears that he doesn’t deserve a girl like you who will always be there despite all the failures he’s done.

“Why won’t you let me be happy?” You mumbled through tears. It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t right.  He isn’t even someone who you can call as yours and yet he dares come and ruin all the potential chances of your relationship with someone else.

“Because I don’t want you to be happy with someone else,” he finally admitted. “I want to be the one who makes you happy, but I keep messing up because you’re not the type of girl I can mess around with and then forget about.” He spoke fast and messy. He wasn’t sure if anything he said made any sense, but he said it. He knew he should have said it from the start but it wasn’t easy. Being with a girl like you, it was a challenge for him. He knew that he can never do the things he did with other girls to you. He knew he couldn’t be careless and reckless because everything you give him came from the heart, and he knew he didn’t deserve that.

He used other girls to try and push you away. He liked the idea of having you as his girlfriend, but at the same time he was afraid. He thought that if he showed you what kind of guy he really is you would leave and hate him. But you were always giving him second chances, and you always somehow gave a little piece of yourself to him. He hated the idea of seeing you with another guy so he used childish acts like threaten them to stay away or else he will hurt them. He didn’t like that perhaps his stupid plan was actually working. Half of him wished it didn’t and the other wished it did.

“You’re such a selfish jerk!” You yelled agitated wiping away the tears. It was a selfish move on him and you couldn’t bring yourself to give him any sort or remorse. He rather you be lonely than happy? He was the one who messed with you first. He was the one who kept bothering you when you tried your best to avoid him because you knew guys like him were no good. He was the one who called you at 2 in the morning and refused to leave until you came out of your house. He was the one who started everything.

You turned around and with one swift motion you slapped him across the face. He didn’t move an inch and felt the sting devour the right side of his cheek. He felt his face grow hot and it didn’t register to him that he had just been slapped. He brought his gaze to meet yours and your eyes were blood shot red, your hands were balled into a fist, and were heavily heaving your anger. You slapped him again and this time it he felt it. He grabbed your face and crushed his lips against yours. You fought against it hitting his chest and trying to push him away. You groaned in between the kiss fighting and crying at the same time. You managed to push him away face flushed and out of breath. You slapped him again, this time harder than before. He forced himself onto you grabbing both your wrist and pinned your to the nearest wall. He forced his lips onto yours and you were at a lost. He pinned your hands above your head and you were too tired to fight against him.

Your tears fell as he slowly moved his lips around yours kissing it softly at first before he went deeper. You kept your eyes closed not wanting to see any of this. He let one hand go and used his free hand to wipe away the fallen tears. He caressed the side of your face whispering his apology over and over begging you to please forgive him. You weep shaking your head. He placed his forehead against yours repeating his apology. He said words he never said before, and he apologized for his demeaning behavior. He was jealous and he acted irrationally. He isn’t good with words and he doesn’t know how to express himself. He never had to express himself to a girl before.

“I’m sorry Jihyun,” he said again kissing the tip of your nose. “I know you hate me and I know you don’t want to see me, but I don’t know how to stop myself from wanting to be with you.” Jungkook closed his eyes and imagined the words he wanted to say. “I don’t want to hurt you, yet at the same time, I think about what it’s like to have a girlfriend like you; someone who actually cares about me, and someone who likes me despite of my flaws.” He smiled embarrassed. “I’ve never really had a girl who wants to be with me just because she wants to and not because she wants to show me off. I’m not some kind of trophy,” his voice faded and right there and then, you knew he was getting personal.

It would be a lie if you said you never wondered how he felt with all these girls always around him wanting to be his girlfriend. It was shocking to know that he knows other girls see him as a trophy boyfriend rather than just a boyfriend. That might be one of the few reasons why he has so many girls around him, but that still doesn’t mean he has the right to do what he did towards you. You opened your eyes and flicked his forehead. He muffled a startled groan rubbing the now redden skin. You wrapped your arms around his waist and leaned your face into his chest. For the first time, Jungkook secured his arms around you and he didn’t let go.

AN: long overdue!  Sorryy!!!!!!! anyways, this didn't turn out the way I wanted. :/ thanks for requesting and hopefully you'll like this. i am officially on summer break, & my brain has turned off. LOL i'm out of juice so it'll take a while for me to reopen request. as always, thanks for reading <3 -A