L.Joe - Uncommitted

You stood and watch as everything that happened right in front of you replayed. It couldn't have been what it seemed. That guy isn't him. That guy holding hands with another girl smiling and laughing isn't L.Joe. It couldn't have been him.

He would never...No, it's not him. Your eyes are playing tricks on you. It just can't be L.Joe! He can't do this to you! How could he?! You turned your heels and ran. Your breath shortens as you coughed for air. The moment you stopped the tears poured and the gruesome pain you've been enduring resurfaced. You clenched your chest and yelp a scream of cry.

How can this be? The man you love so much, how can he cheat on you?

You tried to pick yourself up and roughly wiped away the tears. You've just witnessed him with another woman, and never have you seen him smile as bright as he did for her. It angered you, it pained you.

You were a lost soul walking towards your shared apartment. You didn't know what to do. You opened the front door and dropped to the floor. Your weaken legs lost its strength the moment you stepped foot inside.

You curled your legs close to your chest and cried. You continuously shook your head as the images replayed. The way he had his arm wrapped around her waist and how she would casually lean her body close to his killed you.

Is this why the past few weeks he hasn't been picking your calls? His excuse for always coming home late was because of work, but it was really because of her. He would come home tired all the time and he spent less and less time with you. He didn't even touch you. You remembered one night you wanted to cuddle up next to him, but he removed your hand and said he was tired and just wanted to sleep.

You didn't think much of it and left it at that, but now it all made perfect sense to you. He had found another woman, but he wasn't enough of a man to break it off with you. It hurts you more that instead of breaking it off because of lost feelings or interest he became a coward of his own lies.
He chose to cheat on you instead of coming up front and ending it.

All of these thoughts flooded your mind and agitated you. You forced yourself up and headed straight to the bedroom. You open the closet and pulled out your luggage, roughly throwing it on the bed you ped. You grabbed your clothes that were hanging on the rack and threw them into your luggage. You moved as fast as you could before you heard the front door open.

You froze as the look in your eyes changed. How dare he has the nerves to come home.

"Babe! I'm home!" L.Joe called from the living room.

Your eyes are piercing from anger and you balled your hands into a fist. He poked his head in the bed smiling. "Oh! There you-," he stopped as he saw you.

You were breathing heavily as you glared his way. Your eyes were blood-shot red. The room was a complete mess. He froze as his eyes traveled from your angered face to the luggage on the bed.

"W-What are you doing?" He asked worried.

You wasted no time and slapped him across the face as hard as you can. He stumbled in shock yelling at you. You weren't afraid at his loud voice. No, it felt good. He needed to feel at least an inch of the pain he caused you.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" He screamed again.

You bit your bottom lip trying to calm yourself down. You were shaking like crazy but you didn't want to show weakness.

"YOU CHEATING BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU?!" You screamed back.

His glaring eyes turned guilty and he immediately lost himself. He stumbled to speak, to defend himself, but you had no time for that.

"How could you? If you didn't love me anymore why didn't you just break up with me. Why did you have to cheat on me?!" You screamed your voice hoarse hence at the pain you felt.

He tried to reach for your hand but you slapped it away. You felt disgusted and didn't want him anywhere near you.

"Hyesung I-"

"Is this why you would always come home late? Why you wouldn't even want to touch me?" You cut him off. "All these times, I thought it really was because you were exhausted from work, but I now know the real reason." You said every word looking straight into his eyes.

Guilt started to built in and he was getting scared. He was lost at words. Maybe because he thought you'd never find out or because he doesn't know how to answer you.

"I'm so sorry Hyesung. Please forgive me. It was stupid of me to cheat on you, I don't even know why I did it." He plead as his eyes was becoming watery. "Please don't leave me." He got on both knees and begged.

You didn't want to cry but you did.  You closed your eyes wishing all of this wasn't  true. He stood back up and tried to hug you but you pushed him away, hard.

"Don't touch me!" You warned.

He backed away alarmed. "Please, I can't live without you. I love you so much."He plead as his voice broke into a desperate cry.

You turned to your luggage and zipped it up. You grabbed the wrist of your luggage but he stopped you. You fling your arms around screaming as he tried to prevent you from leaving.

He fought with you as you screamed for him to let you go, but he tried to trap you in his arms. You used your arms to push him away but he was stronger than you as he pinned your hands to your back. You screamed at the pain, but he didn't care.

"YOU DISGUSTING CHEATING BASTARD! GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF OF ME!!!!!!!" You yelled at the top of you lungs as tears rolled down your eyes.

He held you down refusing to let go. You needed to get away, you didn't want to get back in. You didn't want to fall for his lying pleads. He pinned you down to the ground your hands above your head. He desperately searched for your eyes but you couldn't look at him. He disgusted you too much. His face was the last thing you wanted to see up close.

"If you cared and loved me as much as you claimed you would have never cheated on me. I love you so much and have always given you whatever it is you wanted. Never in a million years would I or any of my friends think you would ever cheat on me." You said broken as a tear escaped.

Tears fell from his eyes listening to you, and his guilt built even more. He was stupid, an imbecile, a jerk, a fool. He was caught up in the moment. He didn't know why. He blames himself for allowing something like his to happen. You were the best thing that's ever happened to him. You were the one who motivated him.

"Please let me go. All I've ever done was love you and gave you every part of myself to you. Do you expect me to stay with you, who I trusted with my heart, to only have it broken? Would you stay if I cheated on you?"

Your question broke him. He knew well he would never be able to forgive you if you cheated on him. How did he expect you to do any less? He took you for granted.

The grip on your wrists loosen and you quickly scurried away from him. His hands dropped to his side as he buried his head to the ground. You wiped away your tears and you could hear him weeping. He pounded his fist against the floor.

You used the walls behind you to help pick yourself up. You dragged the luggage on the bed to the floor and he rose his head at the sound of the wheels hitting the floor.

His eyes was intensely red now, and he looked lifeless. You rolled your luggage out the room and he chased after you grabbing your free hand.

You stopped your tracks trying so hard not to turn around. Your just a few feet away from the door. You can't turn back, not when he broke your heart.

"Please," he begged. "Please don't leave me. I'm sorry. You can hate me, hit me, even kill me just please don't go... How am I supposed to live without you?" He cried.

You took a deep breath and turned your head halfway.

"You were able to be happy with another woman while you were with me." You paused to forced the lump in your throat from choking you. "Live a happy and satisfied life with her." You yanked your hand from his and walked out the door.

L.Joe dropped to the floor screaming and crying as he called your name. He punched the floor not even feeling an ounce of pain as his tears blurred his vision. He was a fool for what he had done. He was careless and selfish. You were nothing but loving towards him and he lost you within an instance. He can cry and scream all he wants, drink away the misery, but he knows you won't come back. He knows the girl he cheated on you with wont love him like how you do. He knows she won't be patient with him.

He knows no amount of tears or alcohol can bring you back. He can't and he won't be able to erase you from his life. You were his life, his love, but without you everyday to his is not worthing living. He is no better than a dead man.