Moon Jongup - Fluffy

Moon Jongup is the most confusing boy I have ever known, and I have known him for a long time.


How is it that he is so incredibly shy and nervous off stage but on stage he is a freaken beast!
He gets all nervous and stutters when he has to speak to the camera or during an interview when the attention is directed to him.

An incredibly shy person does not body roll, hip , and strip their shirt off.

I found it quite amusing that after being a y beast on stage with his hip and hip's swaying the moment he finished he turns into a turtle.

It frustrated me, not ually of course, but it just frustrated me. There is no way, no freaken way he can be THAT shy and do all those provocative moves.


I'm just speaking from an older friend's point of view who has known him before he was an idol. I've never really seen him not shy before, and to see him do all of that on stage it surprised me. He was my neighbor for lord knows how long and the Jongup I knew, or at least I thought I knew was pretty proper. He was never informal with me and although he was shy to speak he would always greet me with a smile. I had to be the one to go talk to him and practically hounded him to speak. After that, he wasn't as shy around me but he still had his limits. I did noticed that I was the only girl he talked to, and while the other girls at school tried to converse with him he was simply too shy. That didn't stop the girls from still liking him though.


It's been a few years since I last saw him. Now that I'm in college, I had no idea how he's been, until I saw his face on TV. I was a bit surprised that he became an idol considering his shy and reserved personality. He did like-wait let me say that again-LOVE dancing.  Dancing was something he was definitely confident in, and seeing how he 'worships' Chris Brown, it explains his taste in dance style.

Now that I remember, he did dance a lot in school, but never this provocative. And I never knew he had such a built body under that shirt. When did he start having such a nice body? He wasn't a scrawny, bony school boy, but I was for sure he didn't have a six pack hidden under there.

Who is this Moon Jongup?

It was like he was a whole new person.


To be honest, I was a bit nervous. I want to see him, but I’m arguing with myself if he would remember me. I mean I guess if he doesn’t remember me it’s alright. We haven’t seen each other in a few years, and I’m pretty sure I’ve changed a lot since then, probably not as much as him, but a little. My mom still keeps in touch with his family so, she’s pretty informative on Jongup and his career. She couldn’t stop talking about him and it was a little weird. My mom used to tease me back then about Jongup having a crush on me. I was grossed out when my mom told me that. I could never imagine Jongup like that. He’s such a naïve baby. I’m practically an old lady next to him. He wouldn’t like an old lady.

I remember arguing with mom about how wrong she was, and she brought my dad into the conversation too! My dad was on my mom’s side saying he knows that Jongup likes me because he is a guy and guys can tell when another guy likes a girl. What kind of logic is that, dad? The saddest part of all of this was my parents were actually okay with it if I were to date Jongup. I immediately threw a fit and declared war on my parents. I don’t know if they did that on purpose to irritate and annoy me or they were being sincere. Till this day, I’m still hoping they were doing that to get on my nerves. After all, it is a parents job to liberally make their kids uncomfortable with people they know.

Jongup didn't seem bothered by it when I told him. I thought he'd be disgusted by it but nope, all he did was smile, like always. Maybe it's just me? I don't know. It just doesn't sound pleasant you know. It's not often you hear of a 22 year old lady dating a 19 year old boy. He's barely legal and fresh out of high school.

Now I sound like those e old creeps.

But whatever it is, I am still a lot older than him and it stays that way.

I unwillingly asked my mom about wanting to meet Jongup, and when I said unwillingly I meant her literally throwing all the information to me. She kept pestering me to go visit him, but I told her that it isn't as easy as she thinks. She obviously planned this from the start to prove me wrong.

"What better way to surprise him than at his own fan signing!" My mom oh-so-happily announced her brilliant idea.

"How do you even know about fan signings?" I questioned. It's strange that my mom knows about stuff like this. She's not supposed to know! I think.

She shoo my question aside and wanted to only talk about her plan. "He's having one at the bookstore downtown this coming weekend."

I looked at my mom suspiciously. How in the world did she know about all of this? Is this lady really my mom? Did she get abducted by aliens while I was away at college? Because the person in front of me telling me all of this doesn't sound like my mom.

"Stop looking at me like I'm crazy!" She yelled hitting my arm.
I massage the part she hit because it hurts.

"Does dad know you know all of Jongup's activities and schedule?"

She rolled her eyes laughing. "Oh honey, your dad was the one who told me."

My mouth dropped open and I flapped my arms. "WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY PARENTS?!" I said freaking out.

"Oh stop!" My mom said. "We all know his activities. He is like family after all."

"You do realize you sound like those crazy stalker fans?" I said crossing my arms across my chest to show my mom how un-amused I am right now.

"All you have to do is go to the store and buy his CD." She said explaining the process of How -To-Meet-B.A.P-Moon-Jongup.

Unbelievable, this was utterly unbelievable. My mom even knows how to get into his fan signing. I don't know if I should be thankful? I'm a bit confused on that.

"To make things easier for you," she said disappearing upstairs. Please don't tell me she bought his cd.

"I already got you one!" She said waving the cd in her hand as she climbed down from the stairs.

Someone shoot me.

"You can thank me later." She said shoving the black cd into my hand.





I lay on my bed flipping through the pictures in B.A.P's One Shot album. They had some really nice pictures and of course, they're all good looking. I reached near the end of the page and a little card was stuck in between the pages. It was a photo card. I was surprisingly, and I can't believe I'm admitting this, unhappy to see that it wasn't Jongup's. I flipped back to the beginning of the pages to match who this card belong to. It looks like I got their giant maknae.

Throughout the week, my mom kept reminding me about the fan signing. As thankful as I should be, did I have to go to the fan sign in order to meet him? I know he's a busy person but going to a fan sign to just to say hi was a bit, how do I say, things couples do. I think all of my parents teasing are getting to me. He and I did sort of grow up together despite our age difference; we’re friends. I shouldn't think too hasty of this and just go. I know that's probably the only way to see him again, and besides it might even be fun.

The days came by faster than I wanted. Today was the day of the fan signing I was nervous about this. I've never done something like this before. I was most nervous and scared that after doing this he doesn't remember me. It'll be embarrassing if he doesn't remember the Nuna he grew up with.
My hearts beating fast as I stand in line along with the other fans. The book store is completely packed by now and fans are still swooning in. There was a long table covered in a thin blue sheet with six chairs behind. They had a huge banner of their 'One Shot' hanging with all their faces on it.
 I was afraid I'd be the only old person here, but thankfully I'm not alone. Most of the fans are teens, but there are a good handful of them that were in their 20s. I played with the album in my hand waiting for it to start.

A few minutes later, six boys with colorful hair walked in from the side and the screaming begins. Cameras were pointed everywhere and screams lingered from left to right. B.A.P was all smiles and waving to the fans. They said a few words, thanking their fans for coming all this way for their fan signing and promised to come more in the future.

The fan signing finally started.

I nervously stood in line as groups of six began escalating. I watched Jongup as he smiled shyly to the fans not saying much to their presence. I smirked. He didn't change as much as I thought. He was still the same old smiling Jongup regardless of the situation. He clasped hands with a fan who requested it and he looked utterly shy by it. I shook my head tapping my foot. He's still shy around girls. I saw some fans in front of me had sticky notes on their albums and asked them what that was.

"It's just for asking question and making sure they spell
our names correctly." One of them answered.

"Do you guys have an extra sticky note?" I asked.

The taller one pulled a stack from her pursed and gave me one. I thanked them.

I grinned to myself as I wrote down my question and stuck it on Jongup's page. The line was moving and soon I was going to be the next group. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. This was so nerve wrecking. It wasn't like I was going to meet someone I didn't know. I did know him but I was still nervous. I wasn't meeting the Moon Jongup I knew as a kid I was meeting Moon Jongup of B.A.P.

The time has come.

I was the last of the six girls and so it made me even more nervous because that meant I'd get an extra few seconds. I took a deep breath before the staff signaled me to go. My hands were shaking and I handed my album to the leader. He gave me a charming smile and I bowed to him. Jongup was third to last and as I was getting nearer to him my heart beat faster. My palms were getting sweating and I felt my entire body go weak.
I was standing right in front of him, but he didn't look up. He was too focused on opening the album to his page and signing it. I bit my bottom lip from anticipation as he read the bright yellow note.


"Fluffy Uppie puppy do you remember me?" He read the note out loud to himself, but he repeated what he had just read in his head. There was only one person who called him that.

He lifted his head up and the moment he looked up his eyes met mine. He was completely surprised as his mouth was hanging open. I laughed at him and waved as he tried to compose himself.

"Nuna!" He said in the brightest voice I've ever heard. His smile was stretched ear to ear. The other members looked at him suspiciously. Himchan elbowed the boy, but he ignored the latter.

"Hana Nuna it's really you." His soft voice said.

"Can Nuna have your autograph?"
I nod my head and gestured him to sign his page.
He was more than happy to sign but he didn't give it to the next member not just yet.

"Nuna after the fan signing come around the back
okay?" He asked with those sparkly puppy eyes.

The members all turned their attention to Jongup asking him questions from left to right non-stop. They were curious to know especially Himchan who was seated next to him.
"Jonguppie who’s that?" The older boy asked. "Is she," he lowered his voice. "Your girlfriend?"

Jongup only smiled and said nothing. Himchan pursed his lips when he didn't get an answer. Sooner or later the almighty Kim Himchan will find out who this mysterious lady is to Jongup.

Throughout the remaining fan signing, Jongup's mood became brighter and he was interacting with the fans more than usual. The fans were a bit surprised but they in the moment. When will they ever get to experience a hyper and talking Jongup again?
I smiled running my finger along the trace of his signature. I guess my mom's suggestion wasn't so bad after all. I got to see a lot of fans who loved and supported Jongup, and most of all he looked happy. I'm a little happy too. After all, I did get to see him. He must've been flustered at my sudden appearance, but why can't I stop smiling? It's probably because he remembers me.

I laughed at myself feeling ridiculous. I was going to wait like he had asked, but I don't want to take up any more of his time. I came here to see him and I did. I squeezed my way out of the crowded book store and finally I was outside. I took one last look inside smiling before hauling a cab.

I stopped by a mini market a few blocks away from my house. They sold my favorite spicy rice cakes that I used to eat all the time. I grinned like a happy child when my eyes landed upon my most favorite snack. I had countless dreams of eating this when I was in the States and now, I finally can! I happily skipped home eating my delicious spicy rice cakes.

"Mom, dad, I'm home!" I called taking my shoes off.

I was expecting to hear a response, but instead I heard laughter’s, multiple laughter’s. I raised my eyebrows at the familiar voice. I tried to familiarize who the voice belonged to. It was soft and sweet, he sounded a bit shy. I know that voice. I've heard it somewhere before, but the name won't come up. I followed the sound of their voices and it led me to the second living room. I poked my head and gasped. I retreated with my back against the wall.

It was Jongup! How did he get here so fast? And before me too?

Wait.

What is he doing at my house?!

I finally came out from hiding and walked in. Jongup's head lifted when he saw me and my parents turned around smiling. I eyed my parents suspicious, but Jongup broke that with his respectful greeting.

"Hana Nuna." He said smiling.

My parents looked at each  other and my mom was pushing my dad to leave. My parents walked passed me whispering things to me and my dad gave me a little wink. This is not good.

Jongup ran to me smiling. "Nuna why did you leave?" He asked.

I shook my head and placed my bag of goodies on the table.

"Nuna when did you come back?"

"A week ago, I think?" I answered not even sure myself. "Why are you here?" I opened the door to the backyard and sat on the patio. I patted to the seat next to me. He followed, like always.

"I couldn't find Nuna after the fan signing ended so; I thought you might have gone home."

"Sorry," I said.

He shook his head smiling again. I took every inch of his face into memory. He's grown to be such a handsome and very cute young man. His eyes still squinted when he smiled and he still has his angelic smile. The only difference was his hair was colored and he's been well groomed. He was still shy and his voice was as soft as ever. I found it cute that he still followed me like he did back then.

"So, my little fluffy," I said as he smiled shyly, "you're an idol." He nods his head still smiling as his eyes were now to the ground.
"I'm happy you're doing what you like." I said patting his back. I didn't want to bombard him with questions about what it's like being an idol and all those other curious questions I had. I thought it'd be best for me to just enjoy this rare moment because he isn't someone I can easily see now.

"Nuna how long are you here for?" He asked.

I put up two fingers. "For two weeks." I answered.

He looked at my fingers and spaced out. I laughed noticing that Jongup had gone into his own world. I can never fully understand him and I've known him for so long. Sometimes I wished I knew what goes on in his head. One minute he's like a genius and then the next he is either a lost puppy or a very slow turtle. He amazes me countless times how understanding he can be considering how out-tuned he is. I watched as he entered his own world and memories from when we were a kid floated my mind. This kid really did drive me crazy back then. I remember yelling at him for being so dull. He rarely showed his feelings and it was hard trying to interpreter if he was mad or not.

"Jongup," I called his name in hopes that he heard me.

He did and turned his attention to me. "Is your..." I trailed trying to find the right words to form my question, "manager? Okay with you being here? I mean I know you have limited time now." I said not too sure myself if I made any sense.

He looked at me blinking his eyes a bit confused. "I don't understand what you’re saying Nuna."

I scratched the back of my head giving this another try. "What I meant to say was, is it okay for you to be here since you're an idol now. I know your time isn't as free anymore. I don't want you to get in trouble."

His mouth opened a bit understanding what I was saying. It was a bit embarrassing saying that because I didn't want him to feel like I was viewing him differently, but in a way that's how it is with the career he chose. "Nuna, I'm still the Moon Jongup that you grew up with." He said.

It was a very vague answer but I knew what he meant by that. This is why I'm amazed at how well he understood things. It's rare for him to go into depth explaining something, and when he wants to talk he talks a lot.

"Nuna will you come visit me a lot then?" He asked.

I pursed my lips deciding. "It depends." I answered. He frowned at my answer. "I mean if you're not busy and it's okay with your agency." I rephrased my answer earning me a smiley Jongup.

"Of course! You're my Nuna!"

I grinned. There was something about the way he said that, that oddly made my heart jump up and down. He usually refers me to others as his Nuna but this time the way he said it was different. It was like instead of it meaning I was someone close to him like when someone would say "that's my friend," it sounded more possessive? I don't know if that's the right word to describe it, but it was definitely something else.

"Hana Nuna, do you remember what you said to me about guys who were younger than you that liked you?" He suddenly asked.

I thought about it for a minute. I did vaguely remember him asking me about that, but I can't fully remember my answer. "I think I said I wouldn't date them because they're younger than me," I said trying to recall what my answer was. "And I think I also said that if they were legal I might reconsider it because then I wouldn't be a e." I said nodding my head thinking this was something close to what I said before.

"And I'm legal."

I nod agreeing. "Yes, you are legal...wait. What?" I paused to look at him and he wasn't smiling. Why isn't he smiling? He always smiled. I had to replay what our conversation was about and I realized what he had just done. I'm serious Jongup is a freaken smart sometimes, he just doesn't show it.

"Oh." I blurted.

This time he laughed and I did too, but only to cover up from my embarrassment of being the slow one now.

"Hana Nuna I've waited until I was legal to say this to you." He said turning his body to face me and I'm already freaking out in my head. I'm mentally screaming because I know what he is going to say. My parents are going to rub this in my face.

"To be honest, I've liked Nuna for a really long time. I don't know when exactly, but Nuna you always made me feel special." He shyly said. "I think it's because Nuna is strong and isn't afraid to be herself, but somewhere along the years of growing up together and spending a lot of time with one another I started to like you." He confessed.

"I was afraid to tell you before because you said you wouldn't date guys younger than you especially if they weren't legal by the time you were, so I waited till I turned 19."

While he was going on and on with his confession, my heart was beating so fast that I thought it would actually explode. My face was burning hot and I'm pretty sure I looked stupid shock. How could I have not known? He gave me the biggest hint ever and I shot him down without even knowing. I'm such a horrible person that he had to wait until he was legal to tell me he likes me.

"Jongup ah," I managed to say still cursing at myself. "I'm such a horrible person."

He immediately shook his head grabbing hold of my hands.

"I'm so sorry. You gave me the biggest hint ever and I shot you down without even knowing. I'm sorry for what I said that made you wait till you were legal." I apologized not being able to look at him because I was disappointed.

He smiled and it warmed my heart. I tried to bury my face but he prevented me. He made sure I was facing him at all times. I couldn't look him in the eyes it was too awkward for me. At the back of my head, I always had a hunch that maybe he does like me, but I always pushed it back. I admit he was and still is adorable and cute. I did always liked it when he smiles.

"Jongup ah," I finally said, "you're...Nuna is so much older than you. Wouldn't dating someone close to your age be better?"

He pouted and shook his head. "Nuna's close to my age."

"4 years older than you is not even close." I replied.

He smiled scratching his head and my laughter soon followed after. This is all so ridiculous. It wasn't supposed to go like this or at least now how I planned it in my head. I had two scenarios planned. One, would be if he didn't recognize me at the fan signing I would act like a fan and sulk my sadness with ice cream. And two, if he did recognize me I would simply say hello, smile, and wish him great success. He wasn't supposed to be here at my house. I didn't know myself that he would even be here. I thought of all the possibilities and not once did the thought of him coming crossed my mind. He's an idol who barely survived the first year I didn't think he'd be able to come.

Everything's all off from what I planned in my head. The only that went right was, well myself attending the fan signing.

"Nuna," he said with that deadly soft voice of his. I momentarily stopped fighting with my thoughts hearing his soft voice calling my name.

"Do you not like me anymore?" He asked his voice strained with sadness.

I shook my head and my hand. "No, of course I like you." I answered. "It's just, this is all so...shocking? But at the same time not so much."

"So you knew I liked you?"

"I had a hunch because you never talked to other girls, but I thought it was probably because you were shy."

He smiled shaking his head. "The only girl I want to talk to is Nuna." I sighed a cry letting my head hang low. Jongup ah, why are you doing this to me?! I can't handle this. "I missed you a lot Nuna. But you were so mean you never answered any of my letters I wrote to you." He pouted.

"Letters?"

He nodded his head. "I sent you letters to your dorm in America. Your mom gave me your address." He explained.

That's strange. I've never received anything from him. If he did send them I should have received it, since I received all the packages from my parents.
"I never received one." I said now confused at this. "Are you sure you wrote the address correctly?"

He nods his head very sure he wrote it right. He pulled out his phone and showed me the address he wrote on his note. I covered my laugh and he looked at me strangely.

"Jongup you wrote it wrong," I said pointing to his phone. "It's supposed to 3814 not 3841." I laughed at his silly mistake.

Jongup was embarrassed and scratched the back of his head. "Ah, so that's why Nuna never answered my letters."

I laughed patting his back. This was typical Jongup. I was happy knowing he wrote me letters but now I'm curious as to what he wrote in those letters. It's cute and sweet of him to write to me.

"In one of those letters I wrote I told you about getting accepted as a trainee." He shyly said.

"I'm proud of you fluffy." I said giving him a smile.

He moved closer to me and grabbed my hand, a shy smile appearing on his face. I placed my hand on top of his not really knowing why I had done that. His skin was rough not soft how I had thought it would be. He sneaked his fingers onto my hand attaching his to mine. He grabbed my other hand and did the same. I stared at how small my fingers were next to his, but I couldn't help myself from smiling at how perfect our hands laced together.

How long has Jongup been waiting for this day? How long have I been in denial? Pretty much since the day my parents were the ones to tell me my little fluffy has a crush on me. My little fluffy. He will always been my little fluffy, well he isn't so little anymore, but he had always been mine. And I know no matter much I resort to this I'll always be his.