~CHAPTER 61~

I could hear Daeji knocking on my bedroom door but I just ignored her. I managed to lock the door before crying in despair. I never felt this hurt before. Sure, Kai’s words were like knives and they stabbed my heart with full force but at the same time, they were true. I am really useless. I hugged my knees while sitting on the floor and leaning on my bed.

“What’s the point of being the Maiden if my powers can’t save other people?” I muttered and sobbed. “Nolae made a mistake in that prophecy.”

Hours and hours of crying made me feel exhausted. I didn’t realize that I fell on deep slumber.

Saturday.4am. The guardians had managed to sleep for some hours. Now, it was time for them to leave. D.O. was talking with Daeji outside Hana’s apartment.

“Just make sure she doesn’t do anything reckless. Always. Always keep an eye on her.” D.O. held her hands and she nodded. They stared at each other until Daeji threw her arms on his neck. He was surprised from her actions.

“Make sure you come back.” Her voice cracked and D.O. understood why. She was afraid that she might lose him in this mission. He her hair and smiled. He tightened his embrace his arms around Daeji.

“I will come back for you. I promise.” D.O. inhaled her scent. I’m going to miss this so much. My lady.He released her and kissed her forehead. “I love you.”

Daeji closed her eyes. She was afraid that he will see her eyes get teary. “I know.” I love you too. She wanted to reply but she’s afraid to say it to him. Because whenever she admits those words to a person, they always leave her side. They always die.

Someone cleared his throat making the two stopped what they were doing. It was Kai. “Daeji, I have a favor to ask.” He looked at her seriously. D.O. patted his shoulder and glanced at Daeji before he left. “If-“ She placed her hand in front cutting him off.

“What you did to Hana was unforgiveable.” She said while glaring at him but soon her face softened. “But I know you said that because you love her.” Kai let out a sigh of relief. “Now, what is your favor?” She crossed her arms.

“If somehow I can’t manage to come back alive...” He revealed a letter. “Please give her this.” Her hands accepted the letter and nodded. “Please tell her I’m sorry.” His voice was low. It was hard for him to breathe. He was afraid because it felt like his time was counted.

“I understand.” She nodded. “But because I’m a good friend. I’m not going to say those words to her. You must come back and directly apologize. I’m not some voice mail. Duh~” She joked. Kai smiled appreciating her words. “Thank you, Daeji.” She nodded and Kai left.

She watched their retreating backs. “Please come back safely, everyone.” She tightly held on the letter.

While the others were leaving, Hana was wandering in her dreamworld.  Her feet were walking the same path again-towards the prison gate. She didn’t know why her feet led her there.

She gulped hard when she arrived in front of the prison cell. Darkness was emanating from it making her shiver.

“What brings you here my unnie?” Hakai asked without revealing herself. Hana closed her trembling hands. “I-I don’t know.” Hakai laughed making the prison shuddered.

“I knew that they wouldn’t mention the deal to you...those overprotective guardians.” Inside the prison cell, one can hear the movements of chains. Suddenly, two hands gripped on the bars and Hakai showed her face.

“Deal? What kind of deal?” Hana swallowed hard. She was confused. It was the first time she heard of this. Hakai smirked bringing shivers to her spine. “A deal of freedom.”

6 am. Daeji was making breakfast when I opened the door. “Hey.” She turned and smiled. “You’re just in time.” She placed the plate with bacon, eggs and sandwich on the table. I sat and grabbed a fork.

I could sense that Daeji was not telling me something. “What is it, Daeji?” I blurted out while making the bacon flip using the fork. She sighed.

“They already left.”

I was not surprised. I knew they would not let them die. I smiled. “What time?” She poured water on a glass. “4am”

“Do you know where they went?” I asked again while munching the eggs..She’s a good cook.

“I know but I won’t tell you.” She replied using her monotone voice. I rolled my eyes. “Just tell me.” I sip some water and eyed her. She turned and shot me a look. “Give me one reason why I should reveal it to you.”

I smirked and blinked. In a second, I was behind her placing my plate on the sink. “That’s my reason.” She turned but I teleported again behind her. “I forgot my glass. Mianhe.” She turned and I winked at her before teleporting again.

“W-When did you?!” She asked and I just patted her shoulder. “That’s not important. Now, please. Will you tell me their location?” I looked into her hesitant eyes. “Please?” I need to save them and fulfill my promise.

She thought for a second until she nodded. “Alright. But!!! First, I’ll go with you. And second! You should read something first.” I raised my brows.

“Is this the right place?” D.O. glanced at Chanyeol then turned his attention to what’s in front of him. It was a huge forest. Lay squinted his eyes on a tree and saw something familiar tied to a branch- a piece of cloth with checkered pattern. He remembered the design because he just saw it yesterday. “I believe we’re on the right track. This is from Kris-hyung’s sleeves.”

Xiumin furrowed his brows at Chanyeol who did the same with him. How did he know that this was the place? Something was not right. Xiumin can feel it on his the tingling of his ear. 

Luhan caught Xiumin's thought and smirked to himself. “Before we go... I must warn you that this forest is dangerous-too dangerous.”  He said while staring at the large trees. The guys nodded and continued their way.

Suho slashed a large leaf using his blade. He stepped on a large log and gazed at the endless bunch of trees. He shook his head. “How far are we?” He asked Chanyeol’s team.

“It’s still far.” Luhan touched the soil. “Beware of quick sands.” Kai and Sehun took a step back. They didn’t realize that they were standing on one. “Phew” They sighed in relief.

“I think it’s best if we split up.” Chen raised his hand and faced the group. “We have our walky-talkies.”

D.O. glanced at Suho who seemed hesitant. “What are we going to do hyung?”

“I think it’ll be better that way. The first group to arrive in the headquarters can eliminate obstacles while the second group can save their energy in case of emergency.” Xiumin pointed out while sitting on a log. “What do you think?”

Suho sighed. If it’s going to benefit all of them then why not.“Alright then.” Chen sent Chanyeol and Tao a knowing look. 

“Xiumin, Tao, Chen and Sehun will come with me.” Chanyeol pointed his thumb backwards. “These four can defeat the obstacles in no time.” Sehun glanced at Luhan. He noticed how nervous he looked. He narrowed his eyes to Luhan. He felt that something was off about him.

“Is that alright with you guys?” Suho asked the others and they just nodded. “Alright then, let’s get going.”

Daeji and I were running towards the forest. Bright Daeji placed a tracker on D.O’s bag when she hugged him. She already planned on going after him if doesn’t return with the others. We were practically slashing the leaves and jumping on large stones and logs. We never felt this determined before.

All this while, I was thinking of Kai’s message.

Dear Hana,

          How are you? I hope you’re doing good. You must hate me for what I said. :’( I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you these words directly but I guess I can’t - because this letter will be given to you if I don’t return from this mission.

          I want to say many things to you but I don’t know how. It’s sad isn’t it? Do you know the reason why I got mad at you when you said you’re going to abandon the play because of your Math-a-thon? Do you know why I got so mad at Tao when he was holding your shoulders? Do you know why I left? I guess you don’t have a clue... I was mad because you were so clueless about how I felt.When I heard the plot of the play, I imagined the both of us as the man and the woman. You were the woman who loves the bestfriend aka Kris-hyung while I was the man who you will never learn to love. I’m sorry for blurting this out of a blue. I just want my feelings to reach you by means of this letter because now I can’t. It’s too late...

          But one thing I know for sure, the words that I said to you, about you being useless...It’s all lie. I only said that because I’m afraid to lose you. If something bad happens to you, my world will fall apart. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to see you cry. You mean so much to me that I can sacrifice my life for you. I understand now why Ye Nolae sacrificed her life to finish the book, it is in order for you to appear in our lives...

          I have never felt this grateful in my entire life. Thanks to her I met you...my princess.

–Truly and Always Loving You, Kim Jongin

I was really clueless, Kai. I bit my lip while running. “I hate myself. He was hurt many times because of my naivety.” Tears started to fall. I'm sorry Kai...

“What’s wrong?” Daeji asked me while running beside me. I decided to stop for a while. “I-It’s just that... I realized that all this time my attention was focused on my feelings to Kris that I didn’t notice how Kai felt for me. He was hurting all this t-time.” My voice cracked. He was so nice to me and all I give him were pain and disappointment.My head lowered.

“Don’t let your spirits down.” She lifted my chin. “Think about this. Why didn’t he confess his feelings to you? Why did he choose to write it in a letter?” Her expression softened. “Because Kai knew who was in your heart. He knew that he can’t change that. He didn’t ask for you to return his feelings. He just wanted you to know how he felt. That’s his last request.”

I swallowed hard and tried to accept her words.

“But the two of us know that this will not be his last request, right? ...Because we’re going to save them. We’re going to fight together with them.” She cupped my cheeks.“Stop being so down. Smile. I know he would love that~” She grinned and I once again smiled.

“Thanks, Daeji.” I nodded at her and we continued running. Even if I can’t return his feelings, he will always have a special place in my heart. Even Kris can’t replace that.