~CHAPTER 45~

"Self-Contradiction"

Kai carefully placed Hana on her bed. Daeji’s arms were crossed and she was rubbing them. She always does that when she’s relieved.

“I think you should sleep.” D.O. went beside her. Daeji sighed and nodded.

“You too. It has been a long night.” They looked at each other’s eyes. Out of nowhere, Daeji hugged D.O. and it made his heart flipped a million times. He was speechless. “Um…I think..that’s it.” She awkwardly patted his back and released him. D.O. frowned.

“D.O. you can stay in my room. I’m staying here.” Kai pushed him towards the door and D.O. gave me an ‘Are-you-serious-look’. “Yah..yah..I will not do anything to them…” He drew closer to D.O’s ear and whispered. “Especially to Daeji”

D.O.’s face grew red and he punched Kai’s stomach slightly. “I got my knuckles on you.” He said making fists. Kai nodded and he kicked him out of the room.

When he got back, Daeji eyed him. “Don’t forget that I’m his student.” Kai rolled his eyes.

“As if I’m going to do something on you…puh-lease…you’re not my type.” He shook his head and sat on the couch at the opposite corner of Daeji’s bed. He lifted his legs and crossed them over the coffee table. “I don’t even know why D.O. like you.”

Her eyes widened. She flashed in embarrassment. “Yah!” She quickly covered and threw a blanket over him. “Shut.up.and.go.to.sleep.” She mouthed.

“Night. Night. Mrs. D.O-Kyungsoo..eh..whatever.” Kai grinned and shifted in a comfortable position.

Daeji blew her bangs and turned her gaze at Hana. *I think I should clean her first.* She awkwardly looked at Kai who was already in his dream world. *Just clean her face, arms and legs.* She nodded and walked towards the bathroom. After Daeji cleaned her, she went to sleep.

Between 3 and 4 am….

Chanyeol’s POV

Because of what happened today, I couldn’t sleep. *Aish.* I sat up and messed my hair. I annoyingly kicked the blanket off me. When I turned my head, I noticed that the guys were sleeping peacefully.

Xiumin-hyung and Chen were sleeping on the spare futons. Tao had taken over the other bed.

I stood up from my bed and walked towards the glass door. I went outside because I needed some air.

My arms were on the railings. *Am I doing the right thing?* I can’t help but think about the past and now. *This is what I wanted from the start.* I thought I was sure about my plan but there’s something inside me that bothered me….self-contradiction.

I heard some shifting sound inside the room and I saw Xiumin-hyung sleeping on my bed. “What?!” My shoulders fell. I could see him smile while hugging the pillow. *Silly hyung.*

All I could hear is the sound created by the crickets. Somehow, it felt cold and lonely. *It has always been cold…..ever since you left.* I curled my hands into fists. “Princess…”

Suddenly, a cold yet refreshing wind blew across me. That’s when I smelled that scent. “N-no,it can’t be.” When I turned my head, I saw a figure created by sparkling dust. A smile crept from its face. “T-That smile.” I will never be wrong. “Princess…” My voice cracked. “P-princess.”

She nodded and her hand touched my face. It felt warm. My hand travelled towards her hand on my cheek. Mine has longed for it…for a long, long time. I was disappointed when my hand just passed through it. When I withdrew it, my eyes travelled from it to her face. *I couldn''t touch you...* I didn't realize that a tear fell.

She frowned. “Please, don’t cry…my prince.” When I looked up, I saw her face filled with pain... I can't believe it. It’s really you. I could never mistake her voice from every person’s voice in the world. “Come. I want you to see something precious.”

I raised my brows and tilted my head. "Where are we going?"

“Come.” She made gestures-her gestures like that of a child making her parent come and see something. “Palli!”

I chuckled and reached for her hand. Though it didn’t touch, I was happy to imagine that we were holding hands. She beamed at me and nodded. She flew while I jumped from balcony to balcony until we ended up at a spot. She pointed at the glass door and smiled. “Look.”

I smiled at her and turned my head. The moment I saw what’s who's inside my smile fell. “You wanted me to s-see this?” I felt betrayed and hurt. “Why?” My voice cracked. She frowned.

“She’s precious, Yeollie.” She looked up at me and gazed at my eyes. “I want you to protect her.” When I heard those words, 'I WANT YOU TO PROTECT HER', my world crumbled to pieces. "What did you say?" I asked her, trying to confirm what she had just said.

She held my hands and again-they didn’t touch. My gaze fell on our hands. 'Why can’t we touch like before? Why can’t we be happy like before?' Then it fell to the sleeping people inside. Hana was there sleeping. The answer to my questions was there. “I don’t want to.” I looked away.

Her hands fell and she lowered her head. “Yeolli~my dear Yeollie…” I have longed for her to call me that. She walked towards the glass door and her hands rested on it. “You’re missing too much… Can’t you see?”She said with a happy sound. She turned her head and looked at me. She then smiled. “We’re the same.”

My heart fell. “You’re not the same!” *Don’t ever compare yourself to that girl!* She sighed. But somehow, I knew what she meant. They had the same faces.

“Yeollie… Hana is precious to me, really precious. If something happens to her, it will be the end.” She was serious and I could see pain in her eyes. “If you really love me…you’ll forget that thing” She pointed at my heart. “In your heart.”

A tear fell. “How do you think I am going to do that?!” You left me because of her. “She destroyed us… If she didn’t exist..if-if only…then you are not on that state! We could have been happy…we could have had our family.” My knees weakened and fell on the ground.

“But we were happy, Yeollie.” She bent her knees and lifted my chin. “Trust me. We could still be happy if you do what I tell you to do.” Without removing her gaze from me, she pointed at the room. “Protect her.”

I frowned. “Why can’t you understand?”

“Why don’t you understand?” She pouted. “I’m disappointed at you.” She squeezed my nose and I was shocked because I felt it. “If I lose her, I will lose a part of me.”

I felt confused. What do you mean? “Nolae…” How do you expect me to forgive that girl who ruined us?

“Accept her the way I accepted you.” She smiled and touched my cheeks. “Then, you will understand why she’s precious to me-……to us.” Her hands felt warm. “Time will come and you will understand. I have seen it.” She smiled again and kissed my lips. I closed my eyes and treasured that moment. Because I was afraid that the moment I open them…she’s gone. What am I going to do now? Her over my hatred? Or hatred over her?

I was right. She was gone as if she never happened. But I can still feel her presence.

I stood up weakly. Before I left the balcony, I caught a glimpse of Hana’s sleeping figure. From a far, I could see her scrunch her nose. I chuckled softly. Nolae did that for many times.

My shoulders fell because of the sudden realization. “Precious…you said.” I smiled painfully. “You’re really selfish.”

After Chanyeol left, the shadowy figure appeared at the dark corner of the room. Its eyes were filled with evil.

It flew passed Kai and stood beside Hana’s bed. It leaned closer and took a closer look of her face. *If I could just free you then everything will-*

Suddenly, a sharp blade passed through his stomach as if he was an illusion. Daeji was sitting when her reflex acted. The moment she opened her eyes and turned to its direction…it was already gone. She confusedly approached the blade and examined it.

“What the heck happened?” She said while removing it from the wall. *I was so sure that someone I don’t know was here.* She gazed at Hana who was sleeping like a dead person. *I’m going to ask you a pile of questions tomorrow.* She pouted and lazily lied to her bed.

Hana’s dreamworld

I opened my eyes and found myself surrounded by darkness. It was different from before. “It’s not cold..anymore.” I stood up letting my feet dragged me.

Whenever I made a step, paths of small waves were created under my feet. It was like I was walking on the water but instead, I was walking on a solid ground.

I happily tiptoed and forget the pain for once. I suddenly bumped onto something and when I looked up, I was filled with curiosity. A huge door appeared before me and it had some marking on it. It had a huge number 4 and the center had a keyhole. I was going to push my way in but it opened automatically. “That’s creepy.”

I pursed my lips and wrinkled my brows. I hesitantly entered the room. To my surprise, a path like those in the movies where dungeons were… appeared before me. The torches on the side luminated the path.

My feet seemed to know where they wanted to go. When they stopped walking, my eyes trailed from the ground to what’s in front of me. “A jail?” I saw bars blocking me from the room. It had chains in it. I was going to hold the bars to take a closer look but something someone stopped me.

“No, Hana.” It was the voice from when I and the guardians fought the assassins. Her voice echoed to my ears. I took it as a sign so I stepped back but suddenly, a hand gripped on my arm.

“You can’t escape from me, Hana.” I shakingly looked up and saw the girl from before. Her eyes were glaring at me. I pulled my arm with all my might and escaped.

It was then I realized that I woke up from…another nightmare.

When I opened my eyes, I found myself inside the hotel room. I was sweaty and I was grasping some air. “Just a bad dream.” I touched my forehead and slipped my hand through my hair. I sighed and looked side to side. I was surprised when I saw Kai sleeping on the couch and Daeji sleeping on the bed with open.

 I carefully stood up from my bed and walked towards him. I bent my knees in front of him and saw his tired expression. His brows creased so I lightly brushed my thumbs on them. They returned to normal. When I stood up, a different spark ran through my veins.

Thump... thump... thump... There it was again-the sudden pain.

“You can't take him from me...Kai is mine~” A voice whispered to my ear. It was hers. I quickly turned and I found no one. She started laughing. It was like her voice filled the room but it was only inside my head. I covered my ears. *I couldn’t take it anymore!* I ran outside my room.

I bumped into someone and when I looked up, I saw him. Tears started to fall from my eyes. I was scared and trembling from fear. His eyes showed pity. Without another second, he hugged me tight. His arms surrounded my body.

I cried in his arms. *Tell her to leave me alone!* I cried louder.

“It’s ok, I’m here.” His deep voice intoxicated my sense of hearing. For a moment, I felt calm. I felt protected.

“Chan...yeol...why?” I suddenly lost my vision again. I had to fight this. I don’t want to sleep again but I failed.

Since I couldn't sleep from everything that happened, I decided to read a book 'Hunger Games: Catching Fire.' I was already on the part where Katniss and Peeta arrived in District 11 but someone interrupted me. I heard her voice. “My prince, help her...” I quickly stood up. *Nolae, why do you keep on surprising me?*

"Chanyeol, you need to help her now!" Her voice told me she was not joking. I sighed and left the room.

My feet led me outside and that's when I saw her running with a horrified look. She bumped into my chest and when she looked up, I had the urged to give her comfort. I hugged her firmly. She began to cry. Somehow, I can't help but feel pity towards her vulnerable state.  “Chan...yeol...why?”

She lost consciousness and fell on my arms. She was pale. I heard footsteps. When I looked up and saw Kris-hyung. I didn’t know what to do next. Should I explain what happened? Why should I?

“....” Kris-hyung walked towards me. He was waiting for me.

*What should I do?* "Yeollie, it's for you to decide." I heard Nolae's voice.

I closed my eyes and thought of a decision.  I carefully placed her on his arms. He nodded and turned around. He went to her room and closed the door. I was left at the hall. Somehow, I have this voice at the back of my head telling me not to give her to him... Why was that?