Jaejoong’s POV

Junsu and Yoochun came to Japan for the last leg of my tour. They attended my concert. We performed two songs together. That’s the last opportunity for us to perform in front of the fans before our enlistment. We thanked the fans and asked them to patiently wait for our return.

Once the successful solo tour ended, I return to Seoul to prepare things before going to air force. Within the remaining four days, I did my best to do some things. For the first day, I settle some matters regarding work.

            “Hyung, what are your plans for the next three days?” Junsu asks.

Before we call off the day, the three of us went out for a drink.

            “I’ll go home tomorrow and spend the whole day with my family. The next day, I’ll hang out with friends.” I reply.

            “We are the same...” he utters. “How about you Yoochun hyung?”

            “I have the same plan...” he responds.

            “I’ll invite Hyun Joong and TOP the day after tomorrow....Let’s go for a drink.” I tell them.

Both of them nod.

            “I bet the last day will be for Athena sshi....” Junsu says after.

            “Hm.”

Athena will be arriving and we will be together the whole day before my enlistment.

            “Have you talked about things?” Yoochun asks.

            “We didn’t get into details yet.”

            “I’m sure she’s willing to wait for you hyung.” says Junsu.

I sigh secretly and drink my soju.

            “That’s what I’m worried about....To wait for two years would be very difficult...”

            “You’ll get through this definitely. Don’t worry.....” Yoochun says.

We toast our glasses and drink the liquor in one shot.

            “Aishh.....You must be happy…Athena sshi will be writing you love letters....” he comments.

Athena is not the type to do that so I doubt if she’ll send letters to me once I’m in service.

            “You’re so fortunate....” he utters. Yoochun looks at his glass with sad eyes.

I feel sad for him and Junsu. Athena and I are doing fine despite the hectic schedules we are facing. I never thought that Yoochun and Junsu would be suffering from break ups. I tap Yoochun’s shoulder to comfort him. The last months have been truly difficult for him.

            “We’ll receive fan letters anyway. Yoochun hyung, cheer up!” Junsu says.

I turn to him.

            “Athena told me that Haewon will be going back to New York tomorrow.” I inform him.

Junsu becomes quiet.

            “Why do you have to break up with her? She’ll be back there for her career....You’ll be in the army...both will be for two years so what’s the problem?” I say.

He looks at me with a clueless expression.

            “She have to complete her contract there for two years....You’d be serving the army for two years...Don’t you think that’s fair enough? No one will be left behind to wait because both of you has to do what you have to do....so, why break up?”

He blinks and I see in his face that he realized what I said.

            “That happened before I decided to join the army but.......you are right....” he utters.

            “Chincha....Stop making it hard for the both of you. You know you love her that’s why you have to talk to her. You can both wait for each other...You don’t have to break up just because of those two years....” I add.

            “Why haven’t I realized it right away?” Junsu’s facial reaction shows hope.

            “Seriously.....this kid...” I utter.

            “Right...right....I’m such a fool!” Junsu smiles.

Yoochun and I stare at each other.

            “For now, focus your attention to service. After, see if things got better...” I tell him.

Yoochun smiles a bit.

Junsu’s phone buzz.

            “What is it?” I ask him.

            “Eunhyuk forwarded a video.” He answers and checks it first.

We continue to drink.

            “Jaejoong hyung! Yoochun hyung!” Junsu calls us with surprise in his voice.

            “Why?”

            “Look!”

He places his phone on the table and presses the play button. A familiar figure appears.

            “Hyungs.....annyeong!” Changmin waves his hand a bit in the camera.

This is unexpected. We continue to watch.

            “We heard about your enlistment.....actually, we’re not in Korea now so we won’t be there when you go...” there’s awkwardness in his face.

It’s been four years since we left SM. We never talked again after that.

            “We don’t have your numbers anymore so we decided to just make this video and ask Eunhyuk hyung to help us send this to you.” He says. He breathes in before continuing. “It’s been years right?....Though we still can’t meet personally and talk like old times, I want to tell you that I wish the best for you my hyungs. Military will be really difficult but since you decided to go together, I hope that you’d do well. Yunho hyung and I will take care of our fans while the three of you are away.” His eyes tear up and he swallows hard. “That’s all I have to say for now....Fighting!” he makes a fist.

Changmin takes the phone from Yunho and records him. Like Changmin, Yunho has an awkward expression.

            “Speak now.” Changmin’s says in the background.

            “What to say?” Yunho chuckles because of awkwardness.

It takes him a few moments before speaking.

            “Uhm....We only talked about enlisting before but now, it’s going to be real for you......Somehow it feels sad that we couldn’t go together.....” he scratches the back of his neck. “I heard that Jaejoong will be in the air force.....even better than I expected. I always thought that you’ll be in the army. As for Yoochun, public service is not bad either. To our Junsu....excel in the army. I know in my heart that all of you will be fine. What else?......Ah! Athena sshi....Jaejoong, don’t worry...Changmin and I will help you keep an eye on sister-in-law.”

Changmin and him chuckles.

I smile a bit. I’m glad that they recognize her that way.

Yunho inhales. His eyes are red.

            “Jaejoong, Yoochun, Junsu....goodluck. Maybe right now, we’re all still hurting but one day.....surely, a day will come when we will all be reunited my brothers. So....until then.” He bit his lips as a sign that he’s fighting his tears. “Fighting.” He says. Changmin appears next to him and whispers ‘bye-bye’ before the video turns black.

Yoochun, Junsu, and I are all shedding tears. This is unexpected and we are all speechless. We tried reaching out to Changmin and Yunho but they never responded to our attempts. JYJ has been hurt and so as them. I know how much pain we caused them when we decided to leave SM. They didn’t get our numbers to talk to us personally indicating that they are still not ready....despite that, I’m still thankful that they did this. It’s a sign that the five of us has the same feelings and that despite the lack of communication for the past years, the care for one another is still there. Like what Yunho said, a day will come that we will all be reunited. Together with Junsu and Yoochun, I will wait patiently for that day to come.

            “Thank you.....” Yoochun whispers his gratitude.

We look at each other and smile.

            “Jaejoong hyung....”

I nod at them. We wipe away our tears and make a toast.

____________________________________________________________________

Haewon’s POV

            “Here’s your plane ticket.” Oppa gives me the ticket.

Today is my flight to New York. Together with Hee Jun oppa, he came with me here in the airport to send me off.

I take the ticket from his hand.

            “Do you still need anything?” he asks.

            “No...Everything’s in here already.” I say pointing to my travel bag.

            “Tell auntie and uncle that I’ll visit you there on winter.”

            “Hm.”

            “Take care Haewon ah...” Hee Jun oppa says.

            “I will.” I reply.

I stare at him. He was the sole reason why I came to Korea. I loved this person for a long time....Who would have thought that it won’t be the same when I return to New York? My first love had never been reciprocated but I’m still grateful. I don’t regret letting go of an important competition and coming here because of him.....Though my first love ended differently from what I imagined, still it led me to meet my true love.

Oppa left out a sigh.

            “Haewon ah...please forgive oppa.” He says.

I could see in his eyes that he’s sad for me. He somehow feels guilty about telling Junsu about the job offer waiting for me in New York.

I shake my head.

            “No. It’s not your fault oppa....”

I know that he’s blaming himself for our break up.

It’s about time for my flight to take off.

            “I need to go now. They are calling the passengers....”

I hug oppa.

            “Thank you so much for taking care of me while I’m here....I could not ask for a better older brother.” I say.

He pats my back.

            “Don’t cry anymore okay? Auntie and uncle will worry...”

I nod.

            “Hm. Don’t worry....I cried it all out already.” I lie.

I grab the luggage’s handle.

            “Gotta go....” I walk a few steps ahead then look back. “You two should get yourselves a girlfriend. Make sure that you have somebody to introduce to me when we see each other again alright?” I say.

Oppa and Hee Jun oppa smile.

            “Take care.” They say.

I wave my hand.

            “Bye!”

I secretly look at the surroundings hoping to see Junsu in the crowd but I failed.

My seat is next to the window.

I’m really going---my mind tells me.

New York is my home. My parents, friends, and career are all there. Basically, it’s the only world I know before my abrupt decision to come to Korea but why do I feel like this now? It’s uncomfortable and there’s a fear inside my chest as if I’ll be going to an unfamiliar place. My heart obviously switched its home.

I cried a lot last night.....Junsu oppa will be like a part of a very beautiful dream and I will lose him completely once I go back to reality. In my head, I keep refusing the idea and it’s the most painful feeling I ever felt.

Though my heart is breaking into tiny pieces, I know that I should accept it. After all, if I stay, Junsu will develop a deep guilt towards it. Making him wait for me is cruel too.

Will I be able to return my life back to what it used to once I’m there? The time I spent here in Korea, will it be like a memory of a wonderful vacation for me? I doubt it.

I sigh.

Somebody occupies the seat next to me but I couldn’t care any less.

I close my eyes. It’s going to be a long flight.

A warm hand clutches mine. Am I imagining? 

Junsu’s face is what I see once I open my eyes. I stare at him without saying a thing. Am I seeing things?

He smiles a bit triggering my tears to block my sight.

            “I realized something.” He says. “I’m not strong enough to let go of you....”

My tears roll down my face. With threatening tears in his eyes, he continues.

            “I don’t think I’d be able to patiently wait for destiny to bring you back to me.”

            “Junsu sshi.....” I swallow hard.

            “I decided to enlist in the army while you’re away......that way, when you return.....I can face you as a better man.”  He brings out the necklace from his pocket. “Will you take this necklace again?” he asks.

            “Of course.....” I nod.

He leans forward and put on the necklace for me.

I feel my neck with my hand and I hold the pendant. Having back the necklace there makes me feel relieved.

I smile at him.

            “I love you.” He says as the tears streams down his cheeks.

I nod and embrace him.

He took the flight to New York with me in order for us to spend our last moment together.

We bid goodbye at the airport. He has to fly back to Seoul immediately for his enlistment. I wave at him with a smile on my face. We’ll meet again after two years that’s for sure.

____________________________________________________________________

Athena’s POV

I look at my wristwatch and wonder how long Jaejoong will take to arrive. We agreed to meet here in the Chinese garden and reached the wooden bridge on time but he isn’t here yet.

He hang out with his friends yesterday….He probably drank a lot. Could it be that he overslept because of that?

            “Aishh…chincha, that man…..” I whisper to myself.

Out of nowhere a pair of hands covers my eyes. I remove them and turn around to find out who the person is. My brows furrow at the sight of a man in a hoodie.

            “Who are you?” I ask.

He makes a comical reaction of slightly losing his balance.

            “It’s me! How could you not recognize your own boyfriend?!” he nags.

            “Ah….so it’s you. I thought you were just a random …” I say bluntly.

            “What?! A random ert?!”

            “With that clothing, anybody could mistake you as one…” I say.

He’s wearing a cap under his tightly tied hoodie that almost hide his entire face and a dark pair of sunglasses. I could hardly see his face.

He removes his sunglasses.

            “You were late you know.” I inform him.

            “Sorry…They asked me to go somewhere first.” He replies. “How’s your flight? Are you feeling a jetlag?”He asks.

I shake my head a bit.

            “I slept a lot on the plane. I’m fine. Wait, what’s with the hoodie and cap?” It’s not like we’re dating in secret so he doesn’t have to be hiding his face.

            “Ah…er..”

            “Hm?”

            “Actually, I just came from the hair salon…..I had my haircut for enlistment.” He says.

I look at him blankly and blink my eyes.

            “I feel embarrass to show you….” He sounds uneasy.

Jaejoong thinks that his hair is a plus factor to his looks that’s why he’s meticulous in having his hair done. I’m sure that having it shaved makes him uncomfortable.

I grab the tied strings of his hoodie but he holds onto my hands.

            “What are you doing?”

            “What else? I’m taking it off to see it for myself.”

            “But I feel unattractive now because of it……” he mutters.

            “So are you going to keep hiding it the entire day? I won’t go on a date with you hiding your head like that.” I tell him.

He sighs.

            “Alright. I’ll show you but promise me first that you won’t laugh.”

            “I won’t laugh.”

Jaejoong carefully removed his hoodie and takes off his cap. He has a buzz cut and not totally bald like I first thought. His hair has been trimmed to be thin but the sides are even thinner to create a cleaner look. He still looks good to me.

            “I told them that I’ll have it shaved tomorrow morning because I want to leave you a handsome image of me until the end. I want to go on a date with you like that but they told me that I must get it done today….” He says with a shy tone.

My lips curve into a smile.

            “You promised not to laugh right?” he mutters.

            “I’m not laughing. There’s nothing to laugh about. I was just smiling because it’s not that bad. After all, you won’t need to style your hair in the army. C’mon…it’s just hair, it will grow again.” I say with the intention of cheering him up.

His expression did not change.

            “Should I shave my hair too so we’ll have the same haircut? Fine, let’s go to the salon.”

He stops me.

            “Hey, where are you going?”

            “I’ll get a buzz cut too…”

            “Why will you do that? Are you insane?”

            “It is because you feel so down…If we’ll have the same hairstyle, you might feel a bit better.”

            “You think I’ll let you do that? I was just a bit sad to give up my hair and embarrass because I think it doesn’t suit me at all.”

            “I told you, it’s not bad. Whether with a longer hair or bald head, it’s still you. I actually think that buzz cut makes you look tough and masculine.”

            “Really?”

            “Hm. So stop sulking alright?”

He smiles and put on his cap.

            “Where do you want to go?” he asks.

            “Hmm…..” I look around and see the boats or rent on a distance. I point at it.

            “Boating?”

I nod.

We rent a boat and enjoy the tranquil atmosphere on the lake.

            “Mom asks for you when I went home.” He says while rowing.

            “Really?”

            “I explained to her that you were out of the country. She thought that you’d be coming with me…”

            “Ah…..so how was it when you went home?”

            “I spend some quality times with them. Mom kept on crying….It’s not like I go home frequently but still she thinks that two years will be quite long….”

            “Definitely she will miss you.”

We talk about random things. Although we talk everyday, it seems like we are not running out of topics to talk about.

            “By the way, I met No Min Woo recently.”

I look at him.

            “We didn’t talk long. He only told me that he heard about our enlistment and wished us good luck.”

I just nod.

            “You know what, I somehow envy him….”

My brows furrow.

            “Why?”

            “Because he knows the Athena from the old times….That he got to know the ‘you’ back then. I don’t know much about your old self and it makes me envy him because it feels like he’s still holding something special on you. He knows the Athena that I never knew. Though you are with me now, it’s like still there are things about you that I’m not aware of….I want to know that Athena….” He says.

I never thought that he feels this way.

            “You know me….” I say.

He stares at me and stops rowing.

            “Athena came to life almost nine years ago….and that’s who you met. Athena is a person filled with hatred and sadness in her heart. She’s pessimistic and bitter towards life. A person who doesn’t know how to mingle well making her boring and lifeless. She’s cynical and doesn’t want any signs of weakness so she tries her best to put on a straight face all the time.”

I smile bitterly and continue.

            “The person that Athena used to be….her name is Ae Young. She’s naïve and innocent. She looks at things in a simple manner. Her only hope in life is to have a complete family with her mother and father. She’s too young to understand the whole situation around her so she could only pray for things to get better. Then she decided to enter entertainment because she thought that if she did well, she’ll get her father back….that he’ll come back home with her and mom. After that, she fell in love with acting so she worked hard to debut. There she met her best friend Nam Gyuri and No Min Woo. She thought that she won’t need anything as long as she has them.”

I didn’t expect to feel better talking about it now without any pain in my heart. I realized that my scar was healed and I’m no longer feeling resentful towards the past and the people involved.

            “When Ae Young loved No Min Woo, she thought that she’d end up with him. She hoped for a fairy tale with him which of course didn’t happen. She chose to be the giver…I guess she was like that because she thought that giving everything she got will keep the person beside her and he won’t leave her like her dad but in the end found herself left with nothing….she learned things the hard way.” I breathe in before continuing. “Then you met Athena…..she always felt like you were annoying and simple minded. She hated that you find happiness over small things and that you are so positive about everything. However, with your perseverance, you were able to touch her heart and guide her to move forward. You taught her how to trust and smile again. You make her feel that she’s being loved and cared for. Her cold heart feels warm again inside the home you built for it…..Actually, Athena used to be a cool chick but the longer time she spend with you….it endangers her cool image.” I joke.

Jaejoong smiles.

            “There’s nothing you don’t know about Athena…..You might not know much about Ae Young but all along you know Athena well. You are the only person who tried to get to know her closely and at some points she felt like you know her better than she knows herself. Because of you, Athena accepted Ae Young once again…..She became a new Athena......and that person is the one you are looking at right now.” I say.

Jaejoong didn’t say anything but smile which I return with a smile too.

_____________________________________________________________________

Jaejoong’s POV

We went to the mall and watch a movie together. Athena and I tried to keep a low key date though we both know that there are lots of eyes following us.

After the movie date, we both decided to spend the remaining night on a place where nobody could disturb us. I bring her to my house. This is the first time she’d visit my home since she often refuse to come before.

            “Welcome to my house!” I say in a presenting tone.

I gave her a house tour and then we spent hours in my mini studio and I show her how I work around here. We played with Jiji too. I think he miss his omma.

            “You still haven’t put out the Christmas tree?” she expresses when she noticed the tree on the living room.

            “Ah....that...It’s still in there because I like to feel Christmas all year long....” I reply.

Her eyes narrows and shoots me with suspicious stares.

            “Admit it, you are just too lazy to tidy up and put it back on the storage.” She utters.

            “No.....It’s just that, Christmas becomes a very happy memory for me.”

            “What?”

            “Last year, you and I became a couple on Christmas Eve...”

            “Wow!” She clasps her hands together. “So corny....” she crudely says after.

I pout because of her blunt reaction.

            “Alright, I’ll tidy it up.” I say and stand up.

I walk towards the tree.

            “What are you doing?” she asks.

            “I’ll clean it up. That way, you won’t complain that I left you with this chore.”

I took out three big boxes from the storage. After that, I remove the decors and detach the artificial pine tree. I was busy putting them back into the boxes that I didn’t notice what Athena was doing.

When I finish boxing the tree, I see Athena putting the Christmas lights over the wide glass window. She already removed the curtains too.

            “What’s that?” I ask.

            “Putting a ‘Christmas All year round’...” she replies.

I blink my eyes.

            “What are you doing? Lend me a hand here...” she asks.

I help her hanging the Christmas lights on the top areas of the window. Athena chose to also hang some glass bells. After, I head to the kitchen and return with a coffee mug on my hands.

            “See this....” she says and plugs in the lights.

The window is filled with the colourful Christmas lights. They move like dropping raindrops over it.

Athena receives the mug from me.

          “If you want to remember Christmas the entire year, you have to do it like this......The tree will only gather dust.” She says.

I smile at her.

            “While you’re not here, I will also remember Christmas this way....” She utters.

I back hug her by wrapping my arms around her body.

            “Take care of yourself while I’m not here....Don’t skip meals and stop eating instant foods. Take a good rest when you have the time and not to go clubbing okay?” I tell her.

She rolls her eyes.

            “Huh! So I’m not allowed to go clubbing now?” she says in a fake disappointment.

The side of my lips curves a bit. She never stepped into a club again once we started going steady.

            “Also, would you please try to act less ‘you’?”

She gives me a confuse look. I sigh lightly.

            “I mean, it is because you have the natural capability to hook men with your charm.....” I mutter to myself.

I know that she’s not doing it on purpose but she really has this exceptional charm in her. She can get the attention of any man without even trying.

            “So what should I do? Shall I cover my face?” she asks. So she heard what I said.

            “If you do that then......” An image of men staring at her body enters my mind. “ABSOLUTELY NO!”I answer with a strong emphasis.

            “Aigoo......” she utters.

Athena has to go back to LA tomorrow morning the same time I have to go and enter the military training camp.

            “Don’t come to see me off tomorrow, alright?” I say.

She nods.

            “I won’t see you off so please send my regards to Junsu sshi and Yoochun sshi. Tell them that I say good luck and be strong.”

            “Okay...I’ll tell them.”

            “It would be difficult to wait for two years.....Are you confident?” I whisper.

She nods without looking back at me.

            “You waited for me patiently....Now it’s my turn to wait for you...” she says.

I could feel her sincerity and I feel moved by that.

            “I should have prepared an event or a gift....” I feel like today is not enough. I could have done something for her before I go.

            “What for?”

I shrug my shoulders.

            “Just......Tell me, is there something you want or need that I could get you?”

            “Hmmm....” she thinks for a moment before turning to me.

            “Make five ugly faces.” She says after.

            “Huh?”

            “You always make those cute expressions to the point that I want to just shoot myself. I want you to let go of your idol baggage for a bit.” She brings out her phone and releases herself from my hug. “I want five ugliest expressions you can make with your face okay? Those types that could totally gross me out and laugh at the same time.” Athena prepares her phone to take shots.

            “What a lousy wish is that....” I utter.

            “You told me that you’d do whatever I want to be done.” She reminds me. “Okay....ready!” she says.

I make the ugliest expressions I could do with my face. My image will definitely suffer if people would see this.

            “Make your nostrils bigger......Cross your eyes...Place your tongue above your upper teeth like a monkey...” she even gives some suggestions which I follow. If this is what she wants then so be it.

She laughs as she snaps each picture.

            “That’s an epic one! Hahaha! Eyyww........so lousy!!!!”

After taking five pictures, she looks at them one by one with a satisfied expression on her face.

            “If you dare share it with somebody.....” I say threatening her a bit.

            “I have no plan to share them to anyone. They’re for my eyes only....” she answers while still browsing on them like a child.

Seeing the smile on her face warms my heart. She’s already happy with this kind of thing from me. I feel even more touched. I grab her again and envelop her in my arms into a tight back hug once more.

Her hands hold on my arms. I kiss the side of her hair.

Together, we silently watch the Christmas lights on the window pane. 

____________________________________________________________________

[Author's Note]

Happy Monday people! Happy reading. ^-^