No Min Woo’s POV

Hotel’s Resto Bar

After a busy work day, I plan to go for a drink before heading home. Unexpectedly, I found Athena here in the empty resto bar. She’s quietly sitting in the bar as she sips the alcoholic beverage in front of her.

I sit one chair away from her.

            “It’s not juice or ice tea anymore, huh?” I comment.

She was not fond of alcohol before.

She smirks.

            “I graduated from that…. Realized that there are other various choices.” She says.

I order a beer for myself.

            “You carelessly drink by yourself….what if reporters see you?”

            “Should I get afraid? What more can they take from me?........Mind yourself first before looking at others.” She empties her glass and asks the bartender for another one.

Looking at her, I can’t help thinking about the other night.

            “But why is it so painful? It feels like it’s tearing up my heart….my everything. It’s hard….it’s really really hard…”

Holding tightly to her manager’s arms, she cried like a helpless girl. Once again, I was able to see her soft spot….unfortunately, it is not for me.

We silently drink without saying a word. We both let the time pass like that.

            “This is bad…..”

I stare at her when she finally says something. She’s looking down to her glass.

            “I miss him….” And she heaves a deep sigh. “I wonder what does his face looks like the first time we met…..I didn’t pay attention…..I regret not having memories of his face the first time…..” she says as if she’s saying it to herself.

            “So cruel….how could you say that with me here?” I mutter.

She knows how much I want to get her back but she talks about the other guy.

Athena ignores me and drinks in one shot. It hurts knowing that in her eyes, it’s no longer me whom she sees. Her smile and tears are not for me anymore……..I did only one mistake but it cost me to lose her….It was a stupid mistake and I’m paying for it now big time….

            “Leaving somebody because you were forced to…it’s not easy at all….I get it now. Somehow, I understand how it was for you…”

For the first time, she talks to me without that hate in her tone and eyes.

            “I worked hard to get over you but I failed. For those eight years….I kept wishing to turn back time. If I could, then I won’t leave and hurt you like that.”

            “But I can’t go back to you.”

I turn and meet her eyes.

            “To be haunted by the love you turned your back to….that’s your curse. Learn to live with that….I’ll have to carry my own curse too.” Her words pierce through my soul.

            “At first I thought you dumped him because you don’t want him to dump you first but it turns out that it is not like that…Now I wonder, why did you leave him?”

            “Because he won’t leave me.” She smiles bitterly. “Even his feet are in a pit, he won’t leave me…...I can’t stand there and see him lose it all so I decided to let go...”

For someone who left her and chose to save himself, somehow she hits my ego with that.

            “I found out that having a selfish guy to leave me, the pain is tolerable. But to have a foolish guy who won’t think about himself for me is harder. It hurts even more….” Her tears roll down her face.

My heart aches. She cried and begged me in the past but I didn’t even wipe her tears away and now, she’s crying for another man….I want to wipe them away but I don’t have the right anymore.

I fight the sadness in my heart. I drink and hold the tears forming in my eyes.

_____________________________________________________________________

Park Ha’s POV

I came out of work but was forced to stop making steps seeing the person standing in my way.

            “Soon Ji sshi…”

She smirks at me.

            “Park ha, what’s with that face? It has been years since we see each other and you greet me with that face. You obviously didn’t like seeing me…” the woman chew her gum as she stares at me. Next to her are three delinquent-looking girls.

            “It’s not like that….I was just surprised.” I say bouncing back from surprise.

            “Is that so? Well, I’ll believe you….since you know that I like you.”

            “Why did you find me?”

She smiles at me and it gives me the creeps.

            “I heard that you gave that reporter the scoop about Jaejoong and Athena…”

            “I didn’t intend to do that. I have to save Myung Hee….”

            “Right, right….aishhh, chincha….that woman is still troublesome.”

            “I don’t know anything else…..I stopped doing it for years now….”

            “I understand….it’s just that, I feel that you still got it....to be able to know something like that...I mean, Athena and Jaejoong did a great job in keeping it undewraps...even sasaengs like us didn’t know...So, I want you to join us back.”

            “Soon Ji....I don’t want to do it anymore. I have my own life now....”

            “I know...You had always made that clear to me. But how about only this once? You helped Myung Hee, maybe you can help me too?  You see, I’m lacking some manpower nowadays......”

            “Soon Ji, Why don’t you stop doing this? You can’t just chase them forever.....stop hurting them...”

Soon Ji is one of the leaders of the sasaengs. She’d been doing it for quite a long time now. Once again she smiles devilishly while combing her hair with her fingers.

            “I hurt them? How about you? Maybe you forgot that it’s you who exposed Athena and Jaejoong...and that’s the reason they are having a hard time now....Don’t try washing your hands....”

I swallow hard.

She nods.

            “It’s just a simple favour Park Ha....I’m losing track of Park Yoochun recently...so I’ll assign you to him. I’ll be expecting to hear from you soon. Or else, I’ll make sure that it will reach their ears....the woman who exposed Athena-Jaejoong couple. I’m sure they will sue you.”

She walks away with the others. I feel shiver run through my body. Soon Ji is one of the frightening sasaengs out there. She’s violent and everyone in the circulation tries not to get in her way. I know that those are not just words....she means it.

God, what should I do?

_____________________________________________________________________

No Min Woo’s POV

I empty my fourth glass.

            “Athena….”I call her name.

            “Hm?” she responds in a low voice.

I turn to her. She’s crutching down with her arms crossed down on the bar counter. She had a lot of drinks.

            “Before we part for good…….will you listen to this one last confession?”

Seeing how she cries for that man made me realized that I’m no longer in her heart….Having this conversation with her helped me accept that there’s nothing to return to. I know that what I’m about to say is not important anymore for her since she had already moved on however; I would like to confess everything to finally have my own closure.

            “For this one last time….okay…” she agrees.

I take a deep breath before revealing a story she had never known.

            “When we were still together,……. I cheated….” Finally the words came out.

            “What?” she asks with her sleepy eyes.

            “We were in a party….I was so drunk but then I found out the next morning that I slept with a stranger…I was so afraid so I didn’t tell you anything….”

A string of memory rush back to my head like a movie.

            “I was so afraid of what you might say so I hid it….I can’t admit to myself back then that for once, I became unfaithful to you.”

It was an accident yet I felt like there’s no excuse for what I did if I tell her the truth.

            “Then that drug scandal came out…..our manager that time, he doesn’t want me to get involved so he laid two choices for me. One is break up with you in exchange of my career. The other one is that I’ll stay with you but they’ll drop me….he also told me that he’ll tell you about that night. It was the edge for me….I don’t want to lose neither my career or you but at the last minute, I got scared of telling the truth and did what I did.”

I feel like a big lump was removed from my throat. The secret that I tried erasing from my head was finally out.

            “Huh…..you really are a bastard then.” She answers mockingly with her closed eyes. “I didn’t call you a stupid jerk for nothing….” She adds.

            “If I told you back then….If I chose you over my career and admitted what I did….How do you think we’ll end up?” I ask.

It’s not that I’m still hoping….I’m already willing to accept that she’s no longer mine. It’s just I always had this question in my head.

            “If only you…..stayed next to me then…..probably the old me…..would have forgiven you for cheating….maybe…maybe….” she answers under her breath.

I finally let out my tears.

            “I got it…” I say stopping her from continuing. I know how her sentence would end and I don’t want to hear the rest for I know I will just regret even more.

I cry silently.

*****

I helped Athena walk and turn her over to her manager when she came to pick her up.

____________________________________________________________________

Jaejoong’s POV

           “Yes, this C-Jes…..we cannot give any answer on that yet. Thank you…”

            “I’m sorry but we don’t know the details yet…”

            “We don’t know yet the details behind that photo….sorry.”

            “We haven’t talked to Kim Jaejoong regarding that. Yes…sorry.”

I silently sit in the middle of the busy office. The staffs are busy answering calls from the press. Manager hyung catches a glimpse of me and sighs before answering another call. Athena’s photo with No Min Woo coming out of a hotel was caught by some paparazzi thus, making speculations about two things: a break up between us or Athena’s infidelity.

I sigh and close my eyes.

The next evening I called Ms. Go and ask about Athena’s whereabouts. Like what she told me, I found Athena in the same place where we started as couple. She’s standing in the middle of that wooden bridge….the same exact spot where she gave me the scarf.

            “Don’t misunderstand, I came here not because of you....” she utters as I stand next to her.

I nod carefully.

            “By the way, how do you plan to announce that you broke up with me?” I’m sure she’s already aware of the new scandal roaming around.

            “Do I even have to? Those photos are good enough to give them the idea..” she answers like she doesn’t care.

Is she thinking that making people hate her would get me the public sympathy?

            “You chose to be the bad guy again? Why do you keep on giving them the bad impression about you?” I ask. Partly, she’s responsible why the public sees her in a bad light....she never exert effort correcting the misconceptions about her.

          “This is not creating a bad impression....I really did dump you so that I could play around with other men again.”

I look at her. She really is stubborn.

            “Stop following me from now on.” She orders in a stiff tone. She turns to me and continues. “You are turning to be an eyesore....I don’t want to see you anymore.” She declares without batting an eyelash.

            “Why are you trying so hard to make me believe that?” I don’t feel hurt by her hollow words because I know that she’s just concealing her true feelings.

She gives a fake smile.

            “Stop clinging to me. I hate that the most....Maybe you forgot that I’m an actress? I can act like I really love you.” She says in a sarcastic way before turning her back.

_____________________________________________________________________

Athena’s POV

            “Stop clinging to me. I hate that the most....Maybe you forgot that I’m an actress? I can act like I really love you.” I did my best to act strong as I say those words but I turn away from him right after because I don’t want him to see through me.

My eyes start clouding with tears. Just seeing his face makes me want to cry because I miss him so much.

            “Yes, you are an actress.....you can also act like you don’t love me...” he answers.

I bit my lip fighting what I’m feeling but tears still come out without my control.

            “Are you being like this because of that contract?” he asks. “I decided not to accept that contract because I don’t want to do it.... I never intended to go in the first place and I didn’t tell you about it because I don’t think it’s that important.......About those projects I lost, I didn’t say anything because I don’t want you to blame yourself for it.” His voice shows his frustration.

There’s no reason to continue faking it. I turn to him.

            “People around knows it....and I was the last to know....How could you?...Blindsiding me with your happy appearance when you are having a difficult time, I don’t even know if you really mean it when we both compromise to share each other’s burdens.”

            “I’m sorry...I was wrong….but I did it only because I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

I heave a sigh.

            “Now what? You still want us to continue....until when? Until I ruin you completely like what they say?”

            “Athena, if I care about things like that....I wouldn’t have let us to go this far. I would have never attempt pursuing you...........Maybe for you, the only way to solve this is to end things between us....But I can`t, with everything that`s happened, I can`t lose the way I feel about you." He says staring straight into my eyes.

            “This isn’t easy for me either....I miss you badly...my heart hurts a lot....but I can’t take things away from you....People cause you difficulties because of me.....You argue with your mom because of me....Your fans are disappointed because of me.” I admit.

            “It`s no one’s fault. It is as it is. You don`t have to push me away. I can do this."  He says with a confident tone. His stare is assuring and convincing.

I shook my head. This attitude of him torments me.

            “Stop it...You always make it sound too good to be true. You always smile in front of me...feeding me good words. You accept everything unpleasant about me just like that...I mean, I don’t even hear you complain. You’re like, Goddamn perfect! And I can’t take it...”

I always wonder if it’s really possible that there’s a perfect guy like him....he’s unusual...

            “I’m having a hard time...” he says getting my attention. “I never had thought that I would want to be with someone like you...You are not my ideal type of girl. Being next to you is intimidating at times. I get upset, frustrated, and worried whenever people speak ill of you. It’s difficult for me, yes....but it’s even difficult and hurtful when I’m not with you…..Can’t you see, I’m at my best when I’m with you....without you, I get afraid and useless...Even though the situation feels suffocating but when I’m with you, I can breathe. Unlike what you think, It’s not always you who needs me....I also need you.” He admits. His eyes show hints of tears.

            “We both know that as long as you’re with me, things like this will keep happening. Do you want me to stick around and see you suffer? I can’t......I can’t do that.” I say and step away to leave.

            "You don`t get to make that decision for me.” He says with emphasis making me stop.“If you walk away now, it`s for you not me, because I know what I want. Athena, I love you."

Before I know it, my feet moves on their own and I found myself in his arms. The weakened  determination I’m holding on flew away just like that. Again, I lost to his persistent spirit.

            “You’re a fool....” I whisper to him within my tears.

            “No, it’s you who did a foolish thing....I’m just following what we agreed on...” he whispers back.

            “Huh?”

            “You don’t remember? You told me before that if you tell me to go away or say things like you don’t like me anymore, I should not believe it.....that, I should just give you some time and come to find you right away.”

Yes, I said that.....he remembered it exactly. My heart flutters.

He breaks from our embrace and looks at me.

            “Let’s not leave each other’s side....and jump into this entire situation with both feet.” He says while wiping the tears in my face.

I nod.

            “Told you, it won’t be easy to get rid of me...” he adds with a smile. I smile too.

It felt like a heavy burden in my heart has been lifted. He grants my lips a warm kiss.

            “Let’s go away...” he whispers in between our lips.

            “Huh?”

            “Let’s go somewhere far and leave all of this behind...” he suggests.

            “A trip? Where?”

            “I don’t know....let’s just get away from all of this.”

            “When?”

            “Now...let’s go...right now.”

I smile and nod.

            “Hm. Let’s do it.”

_____________________________________________________________________

[Author's Note]:

I guess you thought the title pertains to our main leads.....but it's No Min Woo's closure with his past with Athena....Yay! Jaejoong and Athena are back in each other's arms.....what's with this sudden get away? keke......

Comments please.....I really love reading them....It gives me inspiration to write. ^-^

Happy weekend people!