Athena’s POV

            “I cooked all of these foods. It’s enough for us until dinner time so I’ll just heat up the leftover later.” Jaejoong says as he takes out the food containers from the paper bags.

What No Min Woo told me yesterday retains in my mind. I kept thinking about it since last night that I wasn’t able to sleep well. Is Jaejoong really hiding something from me? If he’s really having serious problems about work, why didn’t he even mention anything to me? Did No Min Woo just say that to cause a misunderstanding between Jaejoong and me? Is there a basis for him to say those things?

Suddenly I remember the TV drama that Jaejoong was so excited about. He prepared a lot for it but all of a sudden, it got cancelled….wait, did they really cancel the show or he got cut out of it?

            “What?... You want a kiss?” he says noticing my stare. He gives me a quick peck on the lips.

I have to know the truth….

            “Did you cook all of this at home?” I ask looking at the dishes he made. There’s a lot and he won’t be able to cook all of them if he’s busy with work.

He nods. “Hm.”

            “I want to go out…should I come with you at work?” I say testing him.

            “Huh?” he gulps. “Why would you w-ant to go all of a sudden?” he continues on what he’s doing as if he suddenly got tensed.

            “I just said it….I told you I want to go out.”

            “Uh? Maybe I’ll take you out on a date after a few days…” he gives a smile.

I nod.

            “I just suddenly think of visiting you on your workplace and bring some snacks for the crew. You know, I have free time these days because my schedules were push back so I think it’s the best time to come and thank them for taking care of you.” I say seriously while looking at him.

            “My schedule is complicated right now. It changes from time to time….some of them are on far places so it won’t be good for you since you are on recovery period. Now is not a good time for that…maybe next time…I’ll tell you when you can visit.” He says without making an eye contact with me.

Did he just lie to me? He says his schedule is complicated now and it changes from time to time…

He’ll tell me if there something wrong, right? But the way he behaved, why do I have the feeling that he lied and keeping something from me?

            “Let’s eat.” He says smiling.

I look at him.

            “Okay.” I answer.

Jaejoong tries to feed me through his chopsticks. I eat and hide my suspicions.

____________________________________________________________________

I convinced the doctor to remove my annoying neck brace in exchange of a promise that I’ll put it back whenever I feel pain again. Ms. Go is in her room resting so I ordered the security personnel whose guarding outside my door to go and take a break for a moment. He refused at first but I told him that the hospital security men are instructed to keep the press or suspicious people away. Also, the hospital is big and they couldn’t possibly know what room I’m in so he ended up doing what I told him to. Once he left, I change my clothes and go.

I successfully left the hospital without anyone knowing. I arrived to the café where I’m going to meet somebody. On the private area I see him. He stands from his seat as he sees me.

            “Athena sshi….Are you really okay to be outside the hospital like this?”  Jaejoong’s manager asks.

            “I’m fine. Thanks for the concern.”

We sit.

            “Why do you want to meet me privately?”

I choose not to beat around the bush and say my purpose of calling him here.

            “Somebody told me that Jaejoong is having problems at work.”

I see surprise on his face.

            “I know that he won’t tell me if I ask him so I decided to hear it from you since you are his manager.”

            “What do you want to hear from me?” he asks.

            “Everything. Please…don’t try to conceal the truth.”

He breathes in before he starts.

            “He’s having problems regarding work, that’s true. He lost a lot of projects…his CF’s are pulled out. His other engagements were withdrawn.”

So it really is the same as what No Min Woo told me.

            “How long has it been going on?” I ask.

            “Not long after you two officially date.”

Then it’s been for months now…This is bad for a celebrity especially for an idol like Kim Jaejoong.

            “He was supposed to release a solo album but the record label decided to push it back indefinitely. They think that it won’t be profitable to release it now. The production for his comeback drama takes him out of the cast and chose to recast for his role. C-jes truthfully lost millions worth of those cancelled projects.”

He’s in a serious danger now but why did he keep me in the dark all these time?

            “Also, this…” he brings out an envelope.

            “What is this?”

            “It is Jaejoong’s savior. This is a 2-year exclusive contract from a big production in Japan. They are willing to sign the contracts with him immediately for a drama. This cost millions too and it will somehow ease what he lost. The agency thinks that this is a great opportunity for him but he turned it down.”

            “He turned it down?”

            “Yes. He told me that he’s hesitating. He doesn’t like the idea that he needs to stay in Japan for almost two years. He refused to leave Korea because of you.”

He did that just to stay with me? How could Jaejoong do such reckless decision in this situation?

            “I haven’t informed them about his decision because I’m really hoping that he’ll change his mind…that’s why I always bring this with me.”

            “I didn’t know…..I never had any idea…”

I can’t believe that while I was so happy, he was quietly suffering on the side by himself. I feel ashamed of myself for being clueless. How could I not see that?

            “With the situation he’s facing now....aren’t you regretful for getting involved with him?”

            “He’s suffering from the consequences and you are still cool about it?”

            “How could you turn a blind eye on the situation? You will only break him.”

BoA’s words echoes in my head. So this is what she’s talking about….she knows it but me who was supposed to be the one closest to Jaejoong didn’t know.

            “Our CEO is worried for Jaejoong….he’s worried about him and his career..If this goes on, he’ll surely hit rock bottom.” he says making me remember No Min Woo’s words the other night.

            “His label is on a red light now. He’s hanging by a thread.”

            “I’ve been their manager since they left SM, I know how hard it was for JYJ to stand in their own feet and rise again. It was not easy…it’s like going through a needle’s hole but they hold back the tears and work their best for their dream. Why would Jaejoong put the career he gave his everything into just for you? I can’t find any answer but love. He loves you enough to not think about himself. Athena sshi….I know I’m not in the right position to interfere. However, I think you are the only person that can save him. Please….save him from himself…He’s putting his career at stake….He’s willing to lose everything for you.

I swallow hard.

            “With the way things go, sooner or later you have to part ways. It will be good if you end it even before it becomes worse for the two of you.”

_____________________________________________________________________

Jaejoong’s POV

Mom kept refusing to talk to me. I’m really worried so I didn’t stop calling everyday. I asked father’s help and finally he was able to convince her to receive my call.

            “Omma…”

            “Oh, why did you call?” her tone is so cold. She wants me to feel that she’s still upset.

            “Omma, please talk to me….Let’s straight things out. I know you are upset but please don’t ignore me.”

I feel uncomfortable knowing I made her upset. I love my mom and I don’t want to make her feel that way.

            “What do you want to talk about?” she asks.

            “Athena…”

            “How many times will I tell you, I don’t like her. I would not approve you to date a girl like her.”

            “Omma, at least try to get to know her first before you say that. She’s good person….what you hear and see from TV are different from reality. I love her Omma….I’m hoping that you’ll understand.”

            “Jaejoong ah, I’m your mother and I only want what’s good for you. Whether those things are true or not, I don’t care anymore. There are other woman out there….I’m sure you won’t have a hard time finding another one to love…anyone is okay, just not someone like her.”

            “Omma!” I say out of frustration. “Athena got into an accident and it’s because of me…My fans hates her that she has to suffer from them everyday..I can’t believe that I’m hearing those words from you. I never thought that my own mother would be this judgemental….Why must you say those words about her when you don’t really know her?””

            “Jaejoong ah….”

            “What’s so good about us? Tell me omma, what so good about me that I can’t love Athena?”

            “Jaejoong ah, listen to me…”

            “Omma, I need to hang up now. I’ll just talk to you next time.” And I press the end button.

I sigh and run my palm through my face. I don’t feel well. I’m frustrated, sad, and angry at the same time because of the things that’s happening.

_____________________________________________________________________

Athena’s POV

            “What’s so good about us? Tell me omma, what so good about me that I can’t love Athena?”

Jaejoong’s voice is filled with frustration. I hide myself in the corner of the corridor so he won’t find out that I followed him. From where I’m standing, I can hear him clearly. He’s having an argument with his mother over the phone. 

He finished their conversation and I take a peek. He left out a deep sigh and run his palm across his face. I know that he’s having a hard time now keeping all to himself. It hurts me to know that I wasn’t able to comfort him….I was unaware on how much stress and pain he has to hold back in order to smile in front of me.

_____________________________________________________________________

            “I win!” Jaejoong shouts in excitement.

He wins consecutively in our card game. The truth is I cannot concentrate well so I kept losing.

            “How unfortunate…” I mutter like I really feel sad about losing.

            “If we bet money on it, I’m sure I’m now rich. Hahaha…” he chuckles.

            “You want to get money from your girlfriend?”

            “Hm.” He nods with a smile.

            “I didn’t know you love money that much……okay, hit me.” I suggested.

            “What?”

            “Hit me with your fingers here.” I say keeping hairs away from my forehead.

            “Are you sure?” he asks as if he couldn’t believe.

            “Yes. Then we’ll be quits…”

He stares at me.

            “This is the only chance I’ll give you to hit me. You want it or not?”

I’m putting my hand down and he stops me.

            “I’ll do it.” He says.

He aims his fingers in front of my forehead.

            “Are you sure about it? Should I hit it for real?” he asks again.

            “Chincha….I told you to hit, right?”

            “Okay….I’m going to hit you….I won’t hold back my strength..” he warns.

I close my eyes.

            “Hm.” I reply.

TOKKKKKKKK........

            “Ahhh!!!!!” I put my hands to my aching forehead.

            “Are you okay?” he laughs soundly.

            “Aishhh!!!! You really hit me!” I say with frustration.

            “Yes…you told me to..”

            “Aishhh….I should have known…Why did I suggest such a stupid thing?!” I mutter while rubbing my forehead. I must be out of my mind when I suggested it.

            “Omo! Your forehead is red…” he says as he rubs it with his fingers.

I’m the type of person that would hit back but given the situation I found out, I’m not in the mood to get my revenge.

            “You liked it?” I ask him.

He continues to rub my redden forehead and smile. At least, he's happy over that silly thing.

            “Hm.” He answers.

            “I’m going to sleep now.” I say and lay in the bed with my back facing him.

Jaejoong clears up the table and fold it back.

            “Do you want me to go home now?” he asks.

            “Sleep here tonight.” I whisper without opening my eyes.

            “Uh? You want me to sleep here tonight? Do you mean it?” he asks with a surprise voice.

            “Hm..”

            “What happened?”

            “Because I know what you’ll do once you get back home…You will go to bed and stay there for minutes but go up because you can’t sleep. You’ll turn on your laptop and post some tweets….then you’ll try to watch a movie but won’t finish it so you will play games instead….after that you’ll get something to drink like soju and stay up late feeling bored….then you’ll drive back here and sleep on the couch without me knowing……”

            “How did you know every detail? Do you have some kind of mind power?” he jokes.

           “So noisy….If you plan to keep talking, you better go home. I’m really sleepy…” I say still with my eyes closed.

I feel him lay in the bed beside me. He gets under the blanket and then he embraces me from the back.

            “Okay….Let’s sleep..” he whispers. “Goodnight.”

            “Goodnight…”

_____________________________________________________________________

A few hours past but I didn’t sleep like what I told him. I open my eyes. I can feel him breathe calmly at my back. His arm is tightly holding to my waist and my head is carefully tucked in his neck. His embrace is so warm…I’m sure I will miss being in his arms like this.

I know you are having a hard time….so, I will make the decision for you…

Tears flow from my eyes.

_____________________________________________________________________

[Author's Note]:

The next update will be on Monday....comments please.