Jaejoong’s POV

After washing the dishes, I search for Athena.

            “Aren’t you going to rest for a while? We just had lunch.” I ask seeing her re-arranging her clothes in her walk-in closet. We’ve been cleaning since this morning.

            “Time is precious...I don’t know when will be the next time I’ll have free time like this.” She answers without looking at me.

I frown.

            “Your boyfriend is here yet all you want to do is clean?”

She finally looks at me.

            “I told you I’m not free today because I have chores to do but you still insist on coming...”

            “So it’s my fault?”

            “You said that not me..” she says smilingly.

I came to help her since I want to see her anyway. It’s not like I’m complaining. The truth is I like cleaning and doing house chores with her is somehow fun. I love how we spend time together here in her house...Cuddling on the couch while watching movies, cooking, eating, and doing house chores...Simple and very ordinary. It feels very human and natural. We do ordinary activities just like any other commoner couples.

She’s putting some clothes on a separate box.

            “What’s that for?”

            “I’m putting them on the charity bazaar. I do this yearly. Other celebrities join by selling some of their things. Many fans go to buy items and at the same time, meet their idols. It’s like a charity event and fan meeting at the same time.

            “Since when you started that?”

            “Around five years ago. The bazaar is always a hit...all the items are sold out within a day.” she proudly says.

I smile to myself. This is another side of her that people are not aware of. I wonder why they are only interested on unpleasant things about Athena when there are more good things about her.

            “Hae Won told me that she’ll donate some of her dress...Oh, by the way....can’t JYJ participate too? The money will be a fund for sick children.”

            “Why not?...I’ll look at my things. I’ll inform Junsu and Yoochun so that they could donate some of their shoes and accessories.”

She smiles.

            “Can you help me?” she says after a while.

            “With what?”

            “Those boxes.” She pointed to the medium-sized boxes at the top of the closet.

I reached for them and bring them down.

            “I only need this one.” She says and takes the top box.

It contains different accessories.

            “Glad the housekeeper didn’t misplace it this time.” She says as she digs out.

            “What’s in this one?” I ask about the other box in my hand. Athena gives a very short glance to it before going back to her box.

            “Those are some of Omma’s things. I kept them all there.” She replies.

            “Mind if I look?”

            “Yeah, sure...”

I open it and see bottles of hand cream, face moisturizer, and perfume. The tools she used and the remaining wool from the scarf she made for me is here too. Three old photos are here. All shows Athena and her mom from her toddler, high school, and pre-debut days. This is the first time I see this so I really take some time to stare at them. Each one is a picture of an innocent, bright, active, and happy young Athena. I can say that she used to be a sweetheart.

I remember her mom’s words when we had a private talk back in Jeju.

            “She’s a very sweet girl....always smiling and full of life. Everyone in our small town knows her for being polite and cheery. She’s not the typical girl who wants to be spoiled. She never asked for material things that other girls her age would ask from their parents. Whenever I go home from work, she got our dinner prepared and gives me a massage...that’s how affectionate and  caring she is. Looking back, I never had any difficulty raising such a loving child...I am so fortunate.” Ommoni’s face shows how proud she is.

            “Knowing all the hardship she’d been through.....I couldn’t do anything as her mother, it breaks my heart. As her mother, I should be the one protecting her...the one clearing the path she’ll walk on...” her voice trembles so she pause to calm herself. 

            “Past events took life right out of her and that can be seen from the way she is now....” she utters.

I recall how blank and cold her stares are the first moment I lay my sight on her...they are the product of her past experiences. Her sceptical and sarcastic way of treating others is the defense mechanism she made for herself.

Ommoni turns to me.

            “Now that you are beside her....I have nothing to worry about. You don’t have to prove to me how much you love her because I already know....Once she lets you in her heart...she’ll carry you until the end...that’s how loyal she is so hang on a little bit.” She encourages me. Then Ommoni puts her palm on top of mine. “Take care of my beloved daughter, Jaejoong ah...”

That was her first and last request from me.

            “The color is a little faint....cameras back then are terrible...” Athena says.

My thoughts are stopped. She’s now looking at the photos in my hand. She probably noticed me staring at them for long.

            “I remember that Omma borrows camera from a neighbour just to take our pictures. When fire burned down our house, those are the only photos she managed to save.”

            “You lost your home in that town?”

            “Hm. Nothing left for us there so she decided for us to move here in Seoul.”

            “Then you found your fa-” I could finish my word because she returns to what she’s doing.

I return the photos in the box. Then I see a rosary on top of a bible. I pick up the bible together with the rosary. Something is in between the pages so I open it and sees a folded paper and another photo. It is a photo of Athena with both of her parents. I look at Athena and she’s looking at me too. She sees what I’m holding.

            “So she kept that too....” she utters about the photo.

            “I think this is your mom’s letter...” I give her the paper.

She stares at the folded paper in her hand for a few minutes. She probably doesn’t know how to react.

            “C-can you give me a moment?” she says in a low voice. She didn’t wait for my answer and walks out of the room.

_____________________________________________________________________

Athena’s POV

I go out of the house and sit at the bench outside. I spent some minutes staring blankly to the other buildings in my view. Mom left me a letter....how could I be so clueless?

I breathe in before unfolding the letter.

Ae Young,

            I’m writing this letter thinking that you are probably sulking yourself in loneliness. Don’t cry....don’t be sad, I’m in a better place now.

            At first, I think it’s unfair because the next thing I know, eight years had passed and I missed a lot of things in your life...but then I realized that it is for a purpose. It made you strong and independent....you won’t be molded into one under me...I asked God to give me enough time to spend with you before I go and He granted it. Please forgive Omma if I wasn’t able to finish watching all the movies you had made. I’m sorry if I have to leave you again this time.

            If I’ll look back to my life, I have no regrets. Marrying your father is something that I’ll do over and over again despite knowing what will happen next. He’ll always love me and I’ll always love him too. He’s my husband and it will always be like that no matter what. He’s also the  person who gave me my precious thing in life....you...

            As for your father....he’s not a bad person...he made mistakes and he’s being tormented by it. He’s going to pay for it as long as he lives. He’s the only family you have....he’ll be there for you. Ae Young, find in your heart to forgive him. Give a small room for forgiveness and let go of your burden. This is the only way for you to get peace and absolute happiness.

            Don’t worry...everything will be alright and you can get through it my child....you’ll be happy and have your own family in the future...The man by your side loves you and he’ll take care of you. I believe God let you meet Jaejoong so that you’ll smile again. Cherish each other and value each time you spent together.

            I’ll go on my journey to the after life with a relieved heart. Lastly, I want to thank you for being my daughter. I’m really happy that you chose me to be your mother...In the next life, I still want to be your mother. Whether it’s a smooth or rough life, let’s meet again as a mother and daughter.

            Your happiness, I’ll whisper this last wish to God’s ears...I love you my child....

Omma

I nod continuously. My tears keep on flowing.

            “Yes, let’s meet again like that...Omma....I love you so much...” I utter between my cries.

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Jaejoong’s POV

I sit beside Athena. She’s calm now though tears still come from her eyes. She silently leans on my shoulder.

            “No matter how long...it still breaks my heart like it happened only yesterday. Time won’t heal the scar her passing made inside me.” She says.

I probably won’t know that feeling until one of my parents leave but I believe it’s one of the most painful things every person has to bear....

I kiss her in her temple.

            “Your dad helped you.” I whisper afterwards.

            “Huh?” she utters while wiping her tears.

            “He searched for you then decided to fund Serenity and signed you up...” I reply.

She gets up from leaning to my shoulder.

            “W-hat did you just s..said?”

            “Your father looked after you through Chairman Ahn.”

            “How long have you known this?”

            “While you were in US, I met them by accident. They told me. I couldn’t bring it up when you just arrived.”

She smiles mockingly.

            “So that person still wants to meddle in my life...he can’t give up his authority..”      

            “That’s not his intention...he did it because he cares for you.”

She stands up and the sadness in her eyes turned to hatred.

            “No. He never cared about me at all. All my life he never did. He did that in order to get control. He wants to make sure that I won’t get in his political ambition, he needs to make sure that I won’t mess his name. I was dumb for being unaware....how could that old man do this to me as well?” she says furiously.

            “That is not true. Your father did what he knows so that he could help you. He loves you and your mom.”

            “That’s bull! Someone as selfish like him is not capable of loving others. He only loves himself and his ambition! I asked for him to help me but he didn’t!” she yells.

            “He didn’t know about it.”

            “What?”

            “He only found out about the accident after two months....I don’t think it’s him..”

            “Did he tell you that too? He just want to look good....he just want sympathy...full of crap!”

            “He did wrong and it’s eating him alive...can’t you see? He loves you...he cares about you.”

A tear rolls down her cheek.

            “Lie...that’s not true....it’s all lies...” she walks towards the balcony overlooking the city.

            “Ahhhhhh!!!!!!” she throws and breaks aflower pot out of rage.

            “Athena!” I come to her.

I was too late; her hand bleeds because of a cut.

            “Stop....don’t hurt yourself!” I embrace her tightly to prevent her from hurting herself even more.

            “It’s not true! There’s no good in him!” she yells as she tries to get away from my embrace.

I didn’t loosen my grip on her until she calms little by little.

            “Let go of your hatred....don’t let it live longer in your heart....” I whisper.

            “How could I?” she stopped from struggling. Her bleeding hand holds tightly to the left chest of my shirt. It is now filled with blood. I top her bleeding hand with my hand. I press it tightly to stop the bleeding.

            “I managed to survive this far because of my hatred. It’s the only friend I had during those times....The anger for those people who betrayed me is the strength I used to be able to stand up from my fall.” Her tears flow to her face.

            “Without it, I probably am dead or lost my mind by now...”

            “Forgiveness....it’s the only way to set yourself free..”

            “You have been loved when I have been loathed so you wouldn’t possibly see life the way I see it. Do you know how cruel and frightening this world can be? To the extent that you feel like living another day is a punishment?”

I look at her eyes and wipe the tears from them.

            “Let’s say that everything went easy for me and I might not understand what you had gone through...but if there is something I know that is live life with a light heart. Do things like it is your last....Listen to your heart...isn’t it too tired for keeping all that hatred? The only one who can save it is you. Accept what happened in the past. Embrace your pain and relieve yourself from this burden.”

Despite the hardships I had before, I always choose to be positive. I don’t want to make myself feel that I was a victim. Bad things happen for a reason and that they will help you to be strong as a person. Going through pain will make you less afraid for the coming difficulties---this is what I always live by.

I know that Athena wants to live happily now so I trust that she’ll overcome this eventually. One day she’ll come to me as a complete person and I’m going to be next to her waiting while she deals with her emotional turmoil.

_____________________________________________________________________

Athena’s POV

            “Athena...”

I follow Jaejoong’s stares. It is that person. He really came.

I asked Jaejoong to contact him for today. In his black suit, he approaches us.

            “Ae Young ah...” he utters.

I didn’t answer and start walking towards the cliff. Holding tightly to mom’s urn, I breathe in while looking at the wide flower field below. I quietly let my eyes wonder around the place which will serve as Omma’s destination. The flowers are blooming beautifully in front of the sun. It’s the same as the place where mom and I used to play when I was a child. I know that mom would like to rest on an incredible place like this. The sight is pleasant...I think I chose it well.

I breathe deeply and decide to open the lid and offer it to that person standing a few steps away from me.

            “Say your final farewell to her.” I say.

He looks at me for a few seconds before taking the urn from my hands. 

He starts scattering the ashes to air.

            “Miri....forgive me if I came just now....” he says.

I stand still and pretend like I’m not hearing anything.

            “I wasn’t able to do anything for you until now....I’ll regret it as long as I breathe.....Also, I’ll forever be grateful for everything.. ” his voice cracks. He breathes in before continuing. “I’ll keep that promise no matter what. Don’t worry and rest peacefully now....” I hear him sniffs. “You’ll forever remain in my memory....my beloved....”

Silence reigns between the three of us. I quietly let the gentle wind to take her ashes from my hand. My sight becomes clouded. I feel like being an orphan once more. The feeling is bitter sweet. I finally decided to send off my mom. I’m not worrying anymore because I know that He has a special place for her in heaven.

The tears made their paths across my cheeks and I didn’t hold back.

            I love you, my daughter.....her voice echoes in my ear. It’s like she’s bidding goodbye.

            “OMMAAAA!” I yell in the air.

            “Me.....I’LL LIVE WELL!.....” my body trembles and my tears fall greater than earlier.  “OMMA.....SARANGHAMNIDA!........SARANGHAMNIDA!.....Saranghamnida.....” I shout ‘till I can no longer speak because of my cries.

Jaejoong my back with his hand for comfort.

_____________________________________________________________________

Jaejoong’s POV

            “Thank you....for letting me see her off...” Senator Lee says to Athena.

Both are now calmer. They already stopped crying. I just observe.

            “I’m sure Omma wants to see you for the last time too.” She says.

Nobody speaks after that.

            “Ae Young ah...” The senator breaks that silence.

            “I want to forgive you.” Athena utters all of a sudden. “I never thought I’ll even consider this....but I want to be happy now....I no longer want to live hating you.”

The senator’s eyes start to tear up again. Athena looks at him.

            “It’s difficult but I’ll do my best to forgive you....stop feeling guilty now...”

            “Ae Young my daughter...”

I’m sure he thought he’ll never hear these words from her.

            “However, I don’t think forgiveness is enough to repair what has been broken....Let us just accept the way things are now and not push for more....” I could feel her emotion as she says this.

The wound will be healed but it will leave a scar...it won’t be perfect anymore. The heart can forgive but the mind can’t forget.

The senator nods.

            “Yes...I won’t ask for more...It’s more than enough for me to know that you had recognized and forgiven me....Thank you..” he says with tears in his face.

We were about to leave when he called.

            “Ae Young ah...”

We stop.

            “Can I request one thing before you go?” he asks.

Athena nods.

            “Can I embrace you?”

She walks towards him. Senator Lee embraces his daughter for the first time in years. His tears fall freely while Athena keeps a straight face. I guess the sensation from having his father hugging her is something new to her.

            “I’ll ask something from you as well....” I hear Athena utters in his arms.

            “Anything...”

            “I wish to live as Athena...”

I think she chooses to keep Athena and rest Ae Young in the past.

The senator nods again and they break from that embrace.

            “I understand....Athena...” he smiles at her.

Athena bows her head to him.

            “Senator, we’ll go now.” I bow my head politely to him.

            “I’ll leave her to you Jaejoong...” He smiles.

We walk away. I hold Athena’s hand and she gives me a slight smile. I squeeze her hand to make her feel that she had done well. She managed to cast away her inner demons to be able to move forward with a brighter new life as Athena.

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[Author's Note]:

Sorry for taking a week off....I was just exhausted from work that I preferred sleeping than

opening my laptop...:( I never dare to write if my mood is not good or my mind is exhausted

because I don't think there would be anything good that will come out...I might just write a stupid

chapter if I force myself...I will feel sad for the characters and feel sorry to the readers if that

happens...

Anyway, here's an update...I'll be posting again this week. Please comment and thank you for being

patient. ^-^ 

As for the dress:

Your opinions are interesting but it's confusing too since B and C got the same number of votes....I'll wait for a little bit more before deciding....^-^