Seungri was strong, he was gentle, outgoing, kind, calm, and he was happy. That was until JiYong broke him. Seungri never worried about himself, he always took care of the needs of others before his own, that was until his problems got too much to handle and he simply couldn’t help anyone. Seungri was like a manager to the rest of BigBang, always checking everyone’s schedules, making sure his Hyungs were in the right place at the right time, that was until he could barely manage to get out of bed in the morning and eat a decent meal. No, all that was the old Seungri, but JiYong had left Seungri such a train wreck that nobody knew if he would ever be able to be put back together.

Nobody exactly knew when Seungri and JiYong broke up, neither did they know the circumstances, only Seungri and Jiyong knew that. Youngbae only found out that JiYong had been the one to end their relationship because he heard Seungri crying himself to sleep and muttering about it. Youngbae guessed they had broken up when Seungri came into the rehearsal two hours late, with sunglasses on, looking like and obviously hiding eyes swollen from crying.

“Seungri” Youngbae said softly, once when they were on the plane to their next generation. Seungri was curled up on the seat by the window, his knees pulled up to his chest. He was staring aimlessly at the clouds they passed, his eyes glazed over as though in a daze. Seungri was wearing no makeup and his dark circles were terrible and his hollowing cheekbones were beginning to concern Youngbae. Looking over at the seats across from him, Youngbae saw JiYong with his earphones in, eyes shut – most likely asleep. The younger had obviously not heard his first call and Youngbae gently shook the other out of the trance he was obviously in, Seungri jerked, obviously startled at the sudden contact.

“Have you and JiYong-” Youngbae looked as the others eyes suddenly looked downcast “Did you two break up?” Seungri fidgeted with his shirt sleeve and Youngbae saw how uncomfortable he had become. Youngbae wondered why they had broken up, they were fine a few months ago, and then the affection just stopped suddenly and JiYong had started acting really cold towards Seungri, they younger had been begging for attention from the older, just a smile, anything – but as the weeks went by, the light in Seungri’s eyes grew dimmer and dimmer and soon he just sat quietly in meetings and when they went out for meals.

“Yeah we broke up” Seungri finally answered, looking down at the floor of the plane with pain still clear in his eyes “JiYong ended it.” Youngbae looked over at the sleeping figure and frowned. “It was by text which was the worst thing” Youngbae gasped.

“He ended your three year relationship over text!” a new found disrespect surrounded JiYong when Youngbae glanced at him again. Seungri sighed and looked away again as he closed his eyes and rested his head against the window pane and Youngbae got the message. Seungri didn’t want to talk about it.

They reached the hotel in Macau around eleven in the evening and all had dinner in the hotel to make things easier. Seungri claimed that he wasn’t hungry and dragged his suitcase up the stairs to his room before anyone could reply. JiYong just scowled down at his phone and ate silently, not joining in with any of the conversations. Seunghyun and Daesung went up to their separate hotel rooms and Youngbae was left with JiYong in the foyer.

“I’m going out” JiYong said slowly, whilst handing his suitcase to his manager. “Goodnight.” Youngbae didn’t reply he just waved to the younger and took his key card from the lady at the desk; JiYong spared him one last glance before ringing a taxi service.

Youngbae texted Seungri at about one in the morning. The other replied with in minutes and Youngbae grabbed a blanket and flung it around himself before making his way to Seungri’s room on the floor above. He knocked on the door and waited. His mind wandered back to JiYong and he couldn’t help but wonder where he was going. Texting him quickly, Youngbae slid his phone away when the door opened and Youngbae was let into Seungri’s hotel room.

A silent ‘oh’ rested on his lips when he realised that it was a double apartment. The bed was massive, there was two sets of everything, bath gowns, towels. YG had obviously booked it as a double for Seungri and Jiyong. Seungri carelessly dropped onto the bed and looked out the window on the opposite wall with interest. “I brought some ramen” he held the box up in offering; “I’ll make some in the kettle.”

Youngbae was aware that Seungri hadn’t eaten dinner and presumably not lunch either and so he poured the ramen into the boiling water in the kettle and added plenty of seasoning, just how Seungri liked it. The other had been completely quiet all the while and Youngbae glanced over to see the younger looking down at something on his phone. As he checked his own phone, he saw that JiYong had posted a picture of him clubbing on his private instagram, captioned ‘best time of my life’.

Seungri ate the noodles quietly and looked so engrossed in the food that he only looked up when Youngbae called his name for the third time. “I’m sorry what did you say hyung?” Youngbae noticed how prominent his jaw line was becoming and blinked rapidly before answering.

“I said I want to hear more about how you and JiYong broke up” Seungri looked distraught and pushed the noodles away quietly. Youngbae almost regretted asking Seungri but he was relieved when Seungri lay down on the bed and patted the space beside him.

They lay down next to each other, Seungri lying on his back and Youngbae on his front. Seungri was thinking hard and had been for the past five minutes.”It started about five months ago” Youngbae perked up, surprised that Seungri was opening up to him without having been drinking before hand. “He started acting so, so cold and distant – JiYong has a sharp tongue and he can be so mean when he wants to be.” Sighing between phrases, Seungri carried on speaking. “He started arguments constantly, as though he wanted them and walked out on me numerous times.”

“I uh, I came home from schedule once to find him in bed, , with another woman and he never said sorry, or explained himself, I just forgave him, this happened twice within the space of three weeks and I just forgave him each time because I love him you know.”

Seungri went on to explain how JiYong ignored his calls or texts constantly and lied about being in the studio when he put himself clubbing all over his snapchat. When Seungri had collapsed from exhaustion after one of the fan meets, JiYong had come to see him once in the hospital before going off to Ibiza for a week long yaught party with his friends.

And then how two months ago, JiYong had ended things with him over text before promptly moving out of their shared apartment. But still Jiyong had come over to Seungri’s apartment a few days after and had pounded him into the bed with violent s before leaving, making Seungri feel like a used side . Or how a few weeks later JiYong had asked to meet Seungri at a club and then made a display of grinding all over another girl. And still, Seungri had let him use him for three more times before Jiyong just stopped completely. He stopped calling him and coming over and although Seungri was relieved, it broke him – because he still believed that he and Jiyong had a chance of getting back together, even if JiYong had used Seungri in the most disgusting way.

When Seungri was finished telling his story, Youngbae was in shock and the maknae was in tears. “How could you let him do that to you?” but Youngbae knew. Jiyong had a way of manipulating people, and it wasn’t his fault per say, but he had a way of pulling people in and leaving them trapped there. Seungri, unfortunately, was one of those people.

Seungri turned up to the rehearsal the next day drunk out of his mind. He stumbled onto the stage and giggled madly, but everybody could hear the pain in his voice. Jiyong had just turned away and pretended not to be the cause of Seungri’s drunken misery. Apparently it was going to be a reoccurring thing as Seungri turned up to the airport the next day, absolutely smashed off his face. He threw up three times on the way back to Korea and soon passed out in one of the chairs.

The drinking habits started to get worrying when two weeks later; Youngbae received a call from YG telling him that Seungri was in hospital getting his stomach pumped due to excessive drinking. He was with JiYong in the studio when the news came and Jiyong had clenched his fist sharply before turning back to the computer.

“Are you coming to the hospital with me? Wait a minute; you don’t deserve to see the maknae after what you did to him.” Youngbae spat out at Jiyong before slamming the studio door shut behind him. YG gave BigBang a two week break after Seungri’s incident and Seungri didn’t leave his bed for nearly three days.

The only thoughts that filled Seungri’s head were that he hadn’t been good enough for Jiyong, that Jiyong had gotten bored of him so he thought it was okay to sleep with somebody else. Seungri’s inner demons got him really low in the first few days and Seungri found himself staring at the sleeping pills in his bathroom cabinet, wandering how many of them it would take to kill him.

JiYong came barging through his apartment door on the fifth day of their break, he was drunk, or stoned, Seungri didn’t know which it was these days. But some how, he found himself and panting under Jiyong whilst the older pushed into him painfully and ed him into the bed. There was no affection in Jiyong’s eyes as he clenched onto the head board of Seungri’s bed. He ignored Seungri’s whimpers of pain as JiYong hadn’t even bothered with lubrication. Silent tears streamed down Seungri’s face and JiYong spilled his seed inside him before collapsing and passing out completely.

Seungri had slid out from under the man and looked down at the sheets to see blood and come mixed together. slid down his legs from his hole and Seungri cried again, realising that he had been used yet again. Jiyong still looked so beautiful when he was asleep and Seungri watched him for a few hours, wishing it was like the old days, when JiYong had loved him.

 JiYong woke up to a passed out Seungri on the floor, he saw the blood and come covering his legs and he closed his eyes from the sight, he was ashamed that he was using such a good person for such evil purposes but Jiyong still stepped over the body and found his clothes before leaving through the front door.

It wasn’t fair that every time Seungri made an attempt to move on from Jiyong, Jiyong chased the person away or gave Seungri false hope that they could get back together. Seungri became more and more miserable as the months went by. He watched JiYong go out with one girl after another and his already shattered heart was just getting stamped on time and time again.

It wasn’t a surprise when Youngbae and Jiyong had a full on argument, in front of ikon non the less. Seungri was in the room when Youngbae finally snapped. Youngbae stood up from his chair quickly, making it go spinning across the room, causing everybody to look over. “You think what you’re doing is okay? You think using someone as pure and innocent as him is ing okay?” JiYong shrank back in the chair and looked at the floor. “You couldn’t just let him be after you ING BROKE HIS HEART! Oh no, you thought it was okay to go and him so hard he could barely walk in rehearsals the next day!” Ikon looked so confused and Seungri squirmed back in his seat, really wanting to leave. “And every time, every time he attempts to move on from you and your ed up self, you stop him. WHY ARE YOU SO INTENT OF DESTROYING HIS HAPPINESS?” The studio went quiet and Jiyong kicked at the floor with is expensive shoes. “So help me Jiyong, if you go near Seungri one more ing time, I will destroy you” and with that, Youngbae grabbed Seungri’s arm before dragging him out of the studio.

JiYong did leave Seungri alone for a while, but Jiyong became more and more cast off. He turned up to meetings, clearly high – it was as though he didn’t care about his reputation at all anymore. Seungri wanted to help him, being the angel he was, but he was told to leave him alone by Youngbae and the others.

However, Seungri went to JiYong’s apartment and helped the man into bed when he found him passed out on the floor. He shooed the multiple es out when he found them in JiYong’s bed, even though it broke his heart. He threw away any evidence of drug use JiYong left in his apartment, weed blunts and sometimes even packets. Jiyong was falling apart and Seungri couldn’t do anything because Jiyong didn’t deserve him, he didn’t deserve his help yet he still got it.

After everything Jiyong had done to Seungri, Seungri was still an angel in disguise to the broken man. Because Seungri could forgive. Seungri knew he would never get back together with Jiyong; they were both too twisted and broken to make anything functional. But JiYong knew that Seungri was there for him and it made him feel so much guilt that he could barely breath.

They had broken each other and twisted their love into something ugly but somehow, they made it functional - somehow, they made it work.

Woah I don’t know where that came from but I made jiyong so mean and I feel slightly bad. Forgive me :((((( thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed, please comment!