Review.
Mistaken as a Sasaeng fan.
Mistaken as a Sasaeng fan by Gemslover
Reviewed by --fallenangel
Title: 2/5
I'm not all for the fact that you used Korean words in the title; I don't even know what a 'sasaeng fan' is until you explained it in the description. You can't guarantee that everyone on the Internet knows what it is. They might just skip the story totalky. So always play safe and avoid using Korean words in titles.
You also made use of a full stop in your title. The full stop is reductant and I see no need to put it there.
But your title really relates to your story; well done on that.
Foreword/Description: 5/10
I feel that your description was just too long and it gave away too much of the story. In my opinion, the description should've been cut short in orderto keep the reader in suspense and make him or her want to read on.
I'm also not all for the fact that you described the characters in the foreword. The characters' personalities and behavior shouldn't be revealed. The development of the story is the one that 'says' all the different personalities.
Plus, I am not all for the idea of self-advertising at the end of the foreword.
There were also a few grammar errors I spotted in the description.
Appearance: 3/5
The graphics were lovely. But being the grammar-nazi I am, I spotted a mistake in the poster. Instead of Gemslover PRESENT, it should be Gemslover PRESENTS. But other than that, the poster was wonderful.
However, the fonts were a little too large. You should stick to using font (12). I understand that you want to help the others using small devices. But I am a iPhone user and there's always something called 'zoom-in'.
Plot: 11/15
It was cliche, but still good.
Originality: 10/15
The plot was rather cliche, but still original! Although I think I did come across a story with a plot like this before.
Grammar and Spelling 14/20
The tenses kept changing from present to past, vice versa.
You should also avoid 'talking to the readers'. Such as saying things like, "I must say however, this guy here has lots of patience." NO. JUST NO. I understand it's from the narrator's perspective but please, just avoid this.
Characterization: 7/10
I could understand the characters perfectly but like what I said about the foreword, don't introduce the characters first.
Flow: 8/10
The flow was a LITTLE too slow.
Overall Enjoyment: 7/10
You could say I enjoyed it; IT'S KIM JAEJOONG AFTER ALL. But I felt slightly uncomfortable by the grammar. I'm a grammar-nazi after all:)
Total: 67/100
Ouch! x.x But it's okay.. I'll keep those in mind... Never thought that I had quite a lot of mistakes in here. Oh well..
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