Jade’s POV

“Jade! There you are!” I heard a voice exclaim. My head was lightheaded, & I could feel a pair of hands gripping my shoulders from behind. “We’ve been looking all over for you!”

“Jade?” she shook me. “Jade!”

“H-Huh? W-What?” I turned around & saw Luna & Krystal beside me.

After Heechul left, I stood out here by myself for almost a half an hour already, blank.

“We’re leaving already, & Victoria’s asking if you’re still on for tonight’s sleepover” Luna said.

I shook my head while blinking. “O-Of course”

“So do you wanna go ahead with us now? Or do you wanna come by later after you head back to the dorms with the guys?” Krystal asked me.

The guys? Snap. I so don’t wanna face them right now.

“I-I’ll go along with you!” I said in a hurry.

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f(x)’s Dorm

We all changed into our pajamas & layered all the comforters in the living room. I was still too dazed, that all I did was just sit on the ground, cross-legged. Somehow, a conversation build up between the girls about ‘first love’. My heart jumped at the word.

Sulli was busy explaining about her first kiss when she was 10. Then, Luna leaned forward & asked me. “What about you, unnie?”

“H-Huh? What?” I turned my head around.

“When was your first kiss?” Krystal asked eagerly. The flashback of the incident with Kyuhyun came & played in my head all of a sudden.

“None” the word spilled out. “I’ve never gotten my first kiss yet” I dumbly replied.

“Jinja?” Victoria asked, surprised at how I was already 18 & going to be 19 soon, yet, I still haven’t had a first love. “I had my first kiss when I was 13!”

“When I was 14 my boyfriend kissed me on the nose” Luna said as she recalled her precious times in high school.

“Aniyo~!” Sulli interrupted Luna’s daydream thoughts. “It’s not a real kiss if it’s not on the lips” she said.

“Eh?” I couldn’t help but take interest in what she was saying. “There’re types of kisses?” I asked, wide eyed with full of confusions.

“Of course there are!” Krystal beamed. “For example, a kiss on the nose is a playful, teasing kiss” she said.

“& a kiss on the lips is the right one to know that the guy loves you!” Sulli winked.

“While a kiss on the hand means he adores you” Krystal continued. “A kiss on the cheek means it’s just a friendly gesture” she explained. I nodded like a student in a classroom.

“Then… what does… a kiss on the forehead means?” I asked while looking down & playing with my fingers.

Krystal suddenly sigh a deep sigh. Then, she closed her eyes & a smile that seemed as if she was gonna melt appeared.

“That my dear, is the symbol that the one guy that kisses you, will love you truly. Forever… ”

At that moment my stomach whirled.

“R-Really?...” I let out my most awkward fake smile.

Ok, I think I’m getting sick here.

“Wae? Did anyone kiss you?” Krystal suddenly attacked me with full of questions.

“W-What?? N-No!” I stuttered. She then eased back, & I gulped a bit. “I-I just.. w-wanna make sure. You know, in case I get my first kiss or something” I lied & continued to play along. I felt like I was gonna go crazy if they keep up with that conversation!

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Later

The living room lights were dimmed, & everybody had fallen asleep already. Victoria on the couch, Krystal, Sulli, Amber & me on the floor.

I tossed & turned a few times, but my eyes were wide awake. So was my brain. I kept thinking about what happened at the party.

Heechul kissed me. That’s all that I can say.

& what’s wrong with me? Why do I keep having replays of it in my head?? Urgh It’s all because of that I can’t sleep!

I’d never thought, imagined, or even dreamed of kissing him. Even though, well, he kissed me. But it was an accident, right? Wait, not really an ‘accident’ considering he purposely did it.

Oh crud, my head’s beginning to spin again

I turned around, sat on my back & looked up to the ceiling. I looked longer than 3 minutes & pictures were starting to roll on. Apparently, scenes from the party. I dunno whether I should forget about this, or am I just being selfish by not trying to admit what I really wanna say.

It’s just that, maybe my heart’s trying to block it out. Like I don’t even wanna care & think about what just happened.

I sat up & touched my head.

Love… the word suddenly appeared in my head.

I lay back down & sighed.

I’m just gonna close my eyes, & I’m gonna go to sleep I commanded myself.

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The Next Day

“Unnie.” someone called me. I didn’t open my eyes & just continued to sleep.

“Unnie!” the voice called once more, & this time, shaking me.

“UNNIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!”

“W-What??” I shot up from my pillow & looked around me thinking that there might be an emergency.

“Man you’re such a heavy sleeper!” Krystal said in english while putting her hands on her hips & laughed.

“Oh, sorry… I didn’t get much sleep last night.” I rubbed my eyes & yawned.

“That explains it.” she said. “Come on, breakfast’s ready.” she smiled, gesturing me up.

I walked over to the breakfast table. The atmostphere was a little different compared to waking up in the guys’ dorm. Over here is a bit quiet. The only same thing they have in common is having breakfast in their pajamas.

“Jade, what’s wrong? You look like you didn’t get any sleep at all.” Amber said, gasping right before taking a spoonful of her scrambled eggs.

“Amber’s right.” Victoria agreed. “Are you ok, sweetie?” she rushed over to me & put one hand on my forehead.

“Oh, n-nothing.” I said weakly. “Amber’s right, I didn’t really get much sleep.”

“Why? What’s wrong?” Luna stopped eating to ask.

I paused nervously & looked around. “N-Nothing. It’s.. nothing.”

“Well it couldn’t be nothing. Your eyes look swollen.” Sulli pointed out from across the table.

They went into their daily routines after that & left me to eat by myself at the table. I scooped a bit of my eggs, but couldn’t force myself to eat at all. The only thing I could do was just stare into space everytime I tried to eat.

“Unnie?”

I almost jumped out from my seat. “I didn’t do anything!” I blurt out.

Krystal eyed me suspiciously. “Are you… ok, Jade?” she asked.

I blinked. “H-Huh? Of course! Never better.” I nervously laughed & turned to my food.

“You seem so… not yourself.” she said, siting down on the empty chair beside me.

“W-W-What do you mean? I’m perfectly fine.” I let out a convincing smile while attempting to eat my breakfast by holding the spoonful of eggs up.

“But you’ve been like this since yesterday. Anything wrong? Is something bothering you?” she asked.

“I-I-I just… I’m fine.” I managed to say. She eyed me while tilting her head & pursed her lips. “I’m fine! Really!” I said, almost flailing my arms up in the air. My fake smile disappeared. “It’s- I-I just…” then I sighed. “I’m just a bit bothered, that’s all.” I said as I made my way towards the couch.

“Ok, then. About what?” she asked, following me from behind in her shorts & loose, light blue pajama shirt. As she saw how I refused to answer, she kept on pestering me. “Unnie, come on! You can tell me!” she said, leaning down & sitting on the couch beside me.

I sighed & looked at her with sadful eyes that was obviously signal that I didn’t wanna talk.

“Come on. You can trust me.” she smiled. “You know you can always tell me anything. I’ll listen! & if it’s a secret, you don’t have to worry. I won’t tell anyone.”

I gulped. How can this kid be so convincing?? =.=”

“You really wanna know?” I asked her.

“Yes!!!!!” she jumped like an excited little girl.

I breathed in as much as I could. In the end, I ruffled my hair & finally caved in.

“I-I… did had a hard time sleeping yesterday.” I said.

“Why?” she asked me with her huge innocent eyes.

“Y-You see… Yesterday at the party…”

I wanted to finish the sentence as fast as I could, until I was interrupted.

“Hey guys.” Amber walked in along with the rest; already dressed up. I shut my mouth quickly.

“Jade? So Jade! What happened?” Krystal urged me to continue.

The rest blinked in confusion. “What’s going on?” Luna asked while drying her wet hair with a towel.

“Unnie, Jade’s got a problem.” Krystal blurt out to the rest.

“Shh!” I shushed her by putting one finger in front of my lips.

The girls blinked. “What is it? What’s wrong?” they all asked eagerly.

“I-I just had a problem sleeping yesterday, that’s all.” I said, trying to avoid the subject.

“Yea, but you didn’t tell us why? Go on!” Krystal urged me again. “You said something about the Christmas party yesterday. Did something happen?”

Oh snap! I squeazed my eyes, regretting the fact that I had slipped the word ‘Party’ out.

“Why? Did something bad happen?” Victoria asked worriedly & came over to sit down next to me.

“W-Well I, it’s not really considered ‘Bad’.” I laughed nervously.

I cannot believe I just said that

She leaned closer & I started to sweat.

“It’s just that…” I cleared my throart a bit. “J-Just… Iwaskissed.” I blurt the words out as quickly as I could, hoping for them not being able to pick