[Author's note: I think this chapter as it is is too long to be one chapter, but I can't figure out where to split it. Maybe I'll change that later. ]

"Hyun Ae, I have a request for you." The manager said as you arrived at the building. You wondered what he could possibly want more from you with all the things you were already doing but nodded anyway, waiting to hear what he had to say.

"We’re lucky that you and Taemin are of similar build, but Taemin is more muscular than you are. It’s difficult since you’re a girl but I want you to gain some muscle." Muscle? You rubbed your fingers over your arms. It felt like you already had those muscles. Then again Taemin was a strong man. It wouldn’t be bad to get some muscle. Yet you shuddered at the changes going through your body.

After arriving and entering a safe room, a female assistant helped to measure your body fat and weight as well as the muscle mass you would have to build to be more convincing. You couldn’t always wear long jackets. Eventually even if you did that, it would start to show.

"Hyun Ae, was it? Your height is 175 cm, so for you 59 kg is a healthy weight. However the body fat of a man is naturally lower than a woman’s, so we would like it if you could try and strengthen your muscles. Your weight won’t change much, but your body fat percentage will go down." You swallowed at her words and looked at your mirror image that was currently dressed in just underwear. You could see now how much the stress and hard work was doing to your body. You were used to having a small amount of fat on your body but it was mostly gone and you felt like your body hadn’t been as bony at any point. It didn’t feel good.

"Can’t I just stay like this? I don’t like the way this looks.." You said as you turned to the assistant, gesturing over your entire body. She nodded with an empathic look.

"I’ll see what I can do to help you, but right now we’re both on his payroll. So, you can try to eat a little more. You need the energy for exercising anyway, so just do that. If you can just keep your stomach flat and increase the muscle on your arms, I see no reason why you shouldn’t put on some weight." She scribbled a few words on a piece of paper and handed it to you before helping you get dressed again.

Once you left the office you could feel your phone buzzing in your pocket. At first you thought that the manager had gotten impatient and was already calling you, but as you fished the slim phone from your pocket your eyes almost filled with tears.

"Yoboseyo?" You said with a hushed voice as you headed to the elevator.

"Ai! Cheon told me what happened. Don’t you let that man get to you! I’m coming for you sis!" Coming? Here? You checked if the door was sealed before answering in your own voice.

"Taemin you can’t! You need to rest, and if they find out that I’m not really you what do you think is going to happen?! You get back in that bed right now or I will personally tie you to it!" You hissed, covering your mouth a little as you approached the next floor. Luckily no one got on.

"You have no idea how happy that would make me.." Taemin sighed on the other side of the phone. He sounded down. You almost regretted scolding him. "I didn’t know that this was what you’re going through all these years. It’s been only a month and I’m so worried.. I miss you. I never know where you are or what you’re doing, how you’re doing, who you’re with or anything else. Ai I’m so sorry.."

"You saved my life.. You have nothing to be sorry for. I think that if I can just build a little muscle it’ll be okay. It won’t show unless I really clench my fists, right?" You bit your tongue as the elevator stopped on the third floor.

"Just be careful. I’ll kick their asses if anything happens to you but I’d never forgive myself. I want to see you soon. Please?"

"Maybe if I do what he says the manager will allow us to meet up. I love you oppa, rest well."

"I know that tone! No, Ai don’t you hang up on me!"

"I’m sorry. I have to get back to work now. Just rest, okay?" With that you ended the phone call. It broke your heart to do it but you now understood why Taemin acted the way he had the past years.

The bandaging on your chest felt constricting and itchy but you hoped if you ignored it the feeling would go away. As you left the elevator, buttoning up the jacket you’d been wearing, you noticed a few familiar faces heading in your direction.

"Taemin-ah.. You don’t look happy." Yunho commented. You shrugged faintly and stuffed the paper deeper into your pockets. "Really, you look worn. What do you have to do now?" He continued. You sighed and rolled your eyes.

"I have to get bigger biceps." You admitted. Yunho’s eyes widened and you could feel his gaze go towards your arms. Of course he was the only one who would understand the dilemma you were going through. It’s weird for a girl to have muscles like that, he knew that.

"You can train together with me if you like. I’m working out too." Yoochun offered. Yunho shot him a glare.

"You can’t do that! Taemin is..-!!" Worried that he might give away your secret you gave him a shove.

"Taemin can take care of himself. That’s nice of you Yoochun hyung but I have to get advice on what exercises I should do exactly as well as when and where." You gave him a nod and stretched out, ready to head out.

"Taemin." You stopped mid-stretch and glanced over your shoulder at Yunho who now wore a worried expression on his face.

"What is it?" You asked in a tone that expressed how little desire you had to discuss this right now. Yunho sighed and let his eyes go over your frame. It made you uncomfortable when he did.

"You’re thin. Don’t let them drive you too far." Don’t let them push this on to you. You nodded but knew you didn’t have a choice. If there was anything at all that you could do for Taemin, you had to. Before anything else could be said a door opened. The manager almost ran out towards you but slowed his pace when he saw Yunho who took a step in front of you. It felt unreal how protective he was all of a sudden.

"Ah there you are. How great you’ve already met up! I just wanted to talk to you all about something! We’re going to start filming Taemin’s video diary and I really want..-"

"You should let Taemin spend some time with his sister." Yunho spat out, holding an arm in front of you. You rolled your eyes at him slightly but inwardly prayed things weren’t getting worse because of his protest. Yunho seemed to keep the manager’s eyes on him quite well.

"Well that’s really not up to me..-"

You felt a seeding anger burning inside you as he started. Not up to him? Of course it was. Everything was up to him. Liar! Even if he was going to say it depended on how hard you worked, it was still ultimately up to him.

"I’ll make myself very clear. We will participate in a positive manner if you let Taemin and his sister meet up today and you give him the day off tomorrow." Yunho stated. Was he in any position to be making demands about this? Still you nodded along with his words and directed a fierce gaze to the manager. It seemed to surprise him.

"Fine.." The manager caved, "but I won’t hear anything negative on Taemin’s video diary from any of you and that includes Jaejoong. So fix whatever squabble you had and show the world how close you all are!" After barking that command at the three of you the manager barged off. Within a few moments you were approached by Cheon who dropped off a script with an almost apologetic look. Delightful.

"Good going Taemin! You look like you’re completely healed already!" You heard a familiar voice say for about the third time that day. You turned and smirked at DBSK who were in the door opening. That was to say, Junsu and Yoochun were already inside and closing in on you, while Changmin and Yunho were leaning against the doorpost and Jaejoong stood behind them.

"I know." You yawned and stretched out as you turned to face them with a half grin, "but there’s recordings tomorrow and I’m still not..-"

"Don’t want to tire out before you can even get started. Take a break Taemin." The instructor recommended and turned to face your male visitors as well. Yunho laughed as you groaned in played agony.

"Taemin, don’t act like you hate us that much." He scolded you and jabbed at your forehead in a friendly manner. Hopefully that would be received as playful banter because you would hate to shoot a scene like this again.

"Who says it’s an act?" You joked back at him only to feel the weight of Jaejoong around your shoulders. It was quite strange to have him so close and smiling. You were getting on better with him, which worried you, but it felt good to fool around with him.

"Says me. We’re friends, remember?" He grinned and ruffled your hair, something he hadn’t done in the previous takes. Maybe he was more comfortable as well.

"Well you can’t expect me to be bubbly after three hours of practice." Jaejoong tightened his grip for a bit and you noticed his scent. Though you liked it, you knew Taemin would hate it.

"Take a shower and then I’ll consider hanging out with you." You told him while pushing him away. Jaejoong simply smirked and leaned a little closer to you.

"Don’t you want to take a shower as well?" Before you had time to blush Yunho was already there and gave Jaejoong a gentle smack to the back of his head. Though he was still gentle you could tell the genuine worried look had something to do with Jaejoong’s proposal.

"Jaejoong hyung! You have to take a shower or you can’t hang out with us! Think of all the admiration Taemin won’t give you." You turned to Yunho with a mad face.

"Who said anything about admiration?"

"Come on Taemin, there’s snacks in it for you!" Snacks. Whilst you had to lose weight Yunho was trying to tempt you with snacks. Then again you were hungry and you had been very busy all day. It’d be nice to stand up to the manager like this.

"Taemin, we’re not going to leave you alone. You’re our dongsaeng and you will hang out with us." Yunho said in a more stern voice. You shrugged and glanced at the door through which Jaejoong had unwillingly left. Poor guy.

"You should have said there would be snacks earlier hyung. Let’s hang out then." You chuckled and dropped yourself on a beanbag that sat in the corner of the room, next to a sofa. Changmin was already installed on the couch and Junsu seemed eager to join him. Yunho rolled his eyes at you once before placing a plastic bag on the low table in front of the couch.

"What’s up Taemin?" Changmin asked. Unbeknownst to you he’d had his eyes on you for the last twenty minutes. You ran your hand through your hair as you glanced at him, slightly worried.

"What?" Your rather abrupt reply caused Changmin to laugh as he reached into the plastic bag and grabbed the first thing he could find. It happened to be crisps of some sort.

"I asked what’s up, you’re really tired aren’t you?" You shrugged, unsure if he should be mentioning “negative things” like being tired.

"Doesn’t matter, it won’t change anything." You said coolly. Changmin chuckled.

"Right on mister.. Now open that mouth without the noise coming out. I hardly share food so you should feel honoured." He smirked as he tore open the bag. Why complain now? You half opened your mouth and glared at him. Changmin ignored your expression and pushed a chip into your mouth.

"Are you done keeping him all to yourself? Taemin isn’t exactly yours you know?" You heard Junsu whine and it made you laugh. ‘These guys aren’t that bad.. If only we could be friends..’ You sighed but you knew that couldn’t be. Friends don’t lie to one another and you were spinning the biggest lie you’d ever told on them.

"Who’s keeping who to themselves? I own me okay?!" You scolded Junsu. He made a face. Apparently it wasn’t polite to scold hyungs, but Changmin at least thought it was funny.

"You need to relax Taemin, your stress is showing." He said with a more genuine smile. You got pulled into a discussion with the others and everyone had grabbed something from the snack bag when you noticed an arm wrap around you from behind. When you looked to see who it belonged to Jaejoong had already settled on the beanbag beside you.

"I’ll take him out for a day. We’ll go do something fun." He insisted, giving you a light squeeze. You wondered how you felt about this situation. It was nice to have someone act so warm but that was just it. It was an act. And even if it wasn’t Taemin would hate to be snuggled up to by Jaejoong. After a moment of internal conflict you jabbed at his arm with your fingers.

"You know I’m busy you idiot.. I’m going to start working on a movie soon and there’s a new album." Jaejoong rolled his eyes and leaned his head on your shoulder. Too close for your liking. You gave him a light push but it only resulted in you falling off the beanbag, wincing slightly when you did.

"Are you okay?!" You could only glare at Yunho as he anxiously scooted over. The cameras were still rolling but if they were not you would have given him a piece of your mind. There was no need for him to be so overly protective. It was endangering you. Instead of engaging Yunho you just nudged Jaejoong to move over and sat by his side again.

"Whoa.. Taemin you’re quite delicate." You felt a bit angry when you heard Jaejoong’s words and you were also scared. He could not find out anything! Definitely not Jaejoong! You decided to flick his forehead but he grabbed your hand before you could.

"No thank you. You’re really sensitive aren’t you? I was just kidding.. You’re hands are very girly though." As he continued with his remarks you desperately tried not to look at Yunho or the manager. This tape was going wrong and you knew it. In a final act of desperation to move the topic you laced your fingers through his.

"I can hardly tell if I’m holding a girl’s hand hyung. You can tell me I have girly hands if yours no longer feel and smell like rose petals." Maybe that was a low blow. You waited for seemingly endless moments for Jaejoongs reaction. He burst into laughter.

As Jaejoong laughed you started to laugh as well, along with the rest of the group. The tape was a success now, you knew it. The cameras stopped rolling and you wriggled your hand out of Jaejoong’s grasp. Not before he could wink at you semi suggestively. How bizarre.

"You’re so cute Taemin-ah." Jaejoong’s voice taunted you. You spun around to face him. Recordings were only just over but you’d noticed the change in his behavior. It made you wonder why he decided to be so nice in front of the camera.

"I thought we already had this discussion." You yawned and stretched out. Jaejoong poked at your side as you did. It was probably just meant as a joke or to tickle you but unfortunately the jab ended up on a still slightly sore rib. You winced but covered it up quickly.

"Yah Taemin-ah, you can say whatever you like on TV but I want you to be a little nicer to your hyungs. We’re helping you out after all, so be a little more grateful to Yunho."

"Yunho hyung is nice but I don’t need velvet gloves or a kiss whenever I scrape my knee. Hyung puts me in an uncomfortable position with his caring. Don’t you understand that?" You retorted, crossing your arms. You meant it, in a different way perhaps, but you meant it. The last thing you needed was Yunho accidentally revealing your identity to the world with his caring acts. Jaejoong frowned in reply.

"Why can’t you open up a little more? Maybe you’re not as girly as I said you were but that doesn’t mean you can do everything by yourself Taemin. You need our help to survive this, accept it." What did he just say? You narrowed your eyes, ready to explode with anger.

"Are you insinuating that all the work I’ve done means nothing? The nights I spend at the company working late, the diets, the practice, the writing, the acting, the exercise. That all means nothing?! Do you have any idea how hard it is to work your off while in a hospital not even 30 miles away you closest relative is suffering because they risked their life for you and you can’t even manage to give them a daily phone call because you’re just so stinking busy?!" The tone of your voice became louder with every word you spat in his direction. All of this that you were doing for Taemin was important and you would get through this alone. Your knees were shaking and you felt like crying out of anger and misery.  

Jaejoong stared at you quietly for a few seconds. His mouth opened a few times to speak but closed within moments as he just didn’t seem to find his voice. You rolled your eyes and turned around, marching to the elevator. Stupid Jaejoong. Maybe this was why Taemin hated him so much. At the thought of your brother you could feel water welling up in your eyes, so you quickened your pace.

"Taemin I’m sorry." Jaejoong yelled after you. You weren’t in the mood to speak with him anymore. When you heard him following you pushed through the door to the staircase, quickening your pace. All you had ever wanted was just to make sure Taemin was okay. Taemin deserved your devotion and you could not fail him, but here you were crying anyway. Again you quickened your pace, nearly flying down the steps.