Pulchritudinous - Heartbreaking, Breathtaking Beauty - Vernon

A/N: this story take place in a world where Amber and Vernon are idols, but Vernon is the heir to a large company and was forced into a political marriage. The only reason why he was able to pursue his interest in music is because he promise to do whatever his parents want at a certain time (his parents have the ability to ruin any chance he has to begin with), not knowing it would be something so old-fashion like arranged marriage. Cue cliche moments, and well...

Eyes glimpsing into the distant future, I wondered what I had in mind once upon a time when I thought the world wasn’t an ugly place. It wasn’t like I looked through everything with rose-colored glasses. No. In fact, if anything, I made sure that my eyes could discern dreams from reality and truths from spilling tales.

What I couldn’t differentiate, however, was the feeling of lost love.

I wasn’t a particularly wanted girl, opposite from that if I was to be honest. Sure, the guys all wanted me to join them in a rough, physical contact game of basketball from time to time, but never once was I able to experience the feelings of fluttering butterflies and yearning gazes.

They said it was my fault, that I was the one who brought this onto myself. I dressed like a boy, play with the boys, and practically blended in too well. Those were the accusations I stood against, but I couldn’t understand what was so wrong with being myself. I was comfortable in what I was wearing, confident that I could do everything a girl can and more even if I didn’t look like the stereotypical goddess. I learned from a fairly young age, then, that I would probably never find someone who would accept me for who I truly am. They would say they understand, and they probably think they did, but somewhere within their actions lie the words, “No, Amber, you’re supposed to be this way…”

And yet, I saw the way he looked at me.

I saw the way his gazes lingered for a second too long as I passed by.

I felt the shuddering breaths he took when our hands brushed by each other by accident.

But I also felt the way my heart could never kept still, always thumping and threatening to escape my chest.

He wasn’t the typical lonely wolf, far from it, in fact. His bright, amber-brown gazes mesmerized me in the same way that a new skateboard would grasp at my attention. His mischievous, yet innocent smile aimed at me discretely made me wanted to do nothing more than to know what it would feel like by his side.

So I took a step. And then another. And then another, before I was standing right in front of him. I could see the burning gazes of his teammates, the way they judged my every move and yet at the same time, consumed by curiosity by what I was planning on doing.

I would have paid them no mind if this was just any other guy. I would have just stepped away and never look back…but then he took my hand into his (surprisingly) larger one and stared into my eyes.

“Hi, my name is Vernon.”

My eyes widened, my cheeks flushing the lightest pink before a smile overtook my face. “I’m Amber.”

“I know.”

Just two words. Just those two words were enough to take my breath away. Now that I looked back at it, I was foolish. Of course he would know who I am. We do associate within the same social circle after all. Of course he would know who I am…not for me…just my reputation. And I did doubt, doubt as to why this walking personification of gorgeous would ever even notice me the same way my gaze linger for far too long on him.

“Would you like to go out for coffee sometime?” his voice whispered to me, fingers brushing against mine as we crossed path behind the limelight.

“I…” before I could even fully finished my sentence, a piece of paper was shoved into my hand and when I opened it later on, I found out it was his number. He was more trouble than he was worth, more than look the eye, but I couldn’t help but to call him later on that night, expecting nothing except disappointment and sadness as being left as a joke once again. But then his frantic voice picked up the phone, “Amber sunbaenim!” he had called out, and a soft smile settled on my face for the rest of the night.

I really should have known it would end like all others. I really should have known that the power he held over me, the power I allowed him to have, was far more than I could ever handle.

So when the midnight bell ran high over the tower where we were supposed to meet, I stood amongst the happy couples on the street, white snowflakes settling achingly over my skin. They burned, I realized, tears streaking down my cheeks as I glanced at my phone for the last time for the final check.

‘I’m sorry’

Those two words, sent without a doubt from his phone, was accompanied by a picture of him with his teammates, nothing unusual…except that in his arms was a petite girl. Flowy brown hair, bright oval eyes, and a sweet makeup powdered onto her little face. Of course, of course that was his preference.

SEVENTEEN’s Vernon announced his engagement to long-time girlfriend!

Throughout the week, all I could hear but not understand, were those exact same announcements, plastered all over the news. Every time I turned my head, an image of him appeared. I knew I wasn’t hallucinating, that I wasn’t just making up those memories of us two…but I couldn’t help feeling like I was in a long, nightmarish and yet sweet dream all along.

I didn’t tell anyone. Not Soojung, not Sunyoung. Definitely not Song Qian. I didn’t want to worry them, especially with how busy they have been. All 3 of them have more than enough on their plates, they don’t need my troubles to add on an invisible weight.

~~~

“It’s been a while, f(x)!” The radio host said as he smiled brightly at us. “How long has it been?”

“Two years?” Song Qian replied, looking at us for confirmation before nodding politely. “Yes, it’s been around two years since we last had our comebacks. We’ve all been busy with our own individual schedules, but now we’re back together and couldn’t be happier!”

Song Qian got mad at me when she found out. Fuming, even. But she never did blamed me. Not even once. She had hugged me, my hair as though I was a little girl and I had cried, tears streaming down my face endlessly. I don’t know what happened after that, after I told her the truth, but by the time I had woken up, both Soojung and Sunyoung were there, soothingly comforting me with gentler words than I ever could’ve thought possible.

“I heard that you guys were greeted by your junior groups well, since that has been quiet a big issue in recent years,” the host commented pleasantly, not meaning anything by his words. However, I flinched slightly, knowing that the topic would come up sooner or later.

Soojung glanced at me then, a fake smile plastered on her face, “Of course! It was such a pleasure to see how much has changed. Everyone was relaxed, and we had some nice conversations with our hoobae groups, especially…” she trailed off, pretending to think, “ah, Seventeen.”

I glanced down abruptly, cursing our youngest for such a quick transition. Sure, we all knew this was what everyone wanted to talk about, and yes, I do want to get it over with, but I never could’ve guess how even the fleeing thought of him could destroy me so.

“Is that so?” the host nodded in understanding, “Amber ssi, I heard that during the past year or so, there are rumors that you and Vernon were, well, an item? I’m sure it’s not true, as Vernon ssi has just gotten engaged to his girlfriend?”

I saw the fists under the table. But I simply smiled and cocked an eyebrow, a nonchalant attitude overtaking me. It was the only wall between this and a complete meltdown. “Well, what do you know?” I chuckled amusingly, hand sweeping my long hair out of the way, “It’s strange. I don’t know who could possibly publish such false news. I’m sure his fiancée is devastated. After all, no one would want to hear that their boyfriend was involved with another person,” I shrugged, neglecting the word female as no one seemed to have ever think of me in such a term.

The host’s eyes widened, shock clearly written onto his face. But a second later, he cleared his throat and proceeded to interview my members, a crisis averted. Everyone knew, however, that this topic is not to be brought up ever again.

“So Amber ssi!” A shake broke me out of my daze world, bringing me back to the live radio session that was going on. “What can you tell me about your new style? I could hardly believe that it was you when the teasers came out, and many people thought that f(x) got a new member!”

I blinked, a bitter smile spreading across my lips. I didn’t bother to stop it.

“I decided it would be interesting to try a new concept. Long hair, y style…well, that’s not technically me. But our concept this time is interesting, something along the line of the small difference between a false world that everyone see, and the truth,” I vaguely gestured toward my members and their styles to emphasized my point. “I represented false, an image that everyone wanted to see but can’t accept.”

It was an indirect hit at the public, but everyone knew no one could blame me of that. After all, I was simply explaining the misconception I had to live with ever since I decided to be different. To be unique. To be myself.

~~~

“A rather large price to pay for a moment of happiness, isn’t it?” I snickered to myself, eyes trailing off into the distance, shuddering breaths being taken due to my inability to gain control of myself. The musing was quiet true, something I never expected I would trade in for something as simple as being worthy of bringing that heartbreaking smile to my face.

I wanted peace, I wanted happiness, I wanted a moment of comfort. Contradictions, rather than assimilation. And yet, he managed to give me all of those, all the while naming his price silently: tiny shards of my own heart.

“Congratulation, Vernon. Beautiful wedding.” I dryly commented, fists clenching tightly shut as my heart thumped the familiar rhythm. It was always him, I knew. There was only one person in this whole entire world who could make the tiny organ I desperately needed to want to crawl inside itself and go into slumber forever. “Your bride is simply gorgeous, I must say. A suiting wife for you,” I finally smiled, a crescent moon that illuminated the happiness of others, but never its own.

“I…thank you…” a mumble later, and those brilliant eyes stared into mine as though it was the first time we met. Something was presented in those deep orbs, a truth that clawed desperately at my heart.

I proceeded to forget how to properly soothe the storm inside me.

Heart drumming urgently for the oxygen to be intake into my lungs, I let out a silent gasp that did not go unnoticed by him. Hand coming to rest on my exposed arm, he peered closer, genuine worries edged onto his expressions, eyes probing mine for an answer, Are you still alright?

“I…yes, I…” I glanced around, tugging my limb loosely out of his grip. He refused. “You…need to get back to the wedding, Vernon. I only drop by to congratulate…I’m not staying for the ceremony.”

Neither am I.

“Then let’s go.”

3 words. Just those 3 words, and I could feel my world start to spin on its axis again. But I wasn’t stupid. I can’t be taken in again…not when his perfect bride is waiting at the end of that altar. “Vernon, stop it. This is your wedding, not some random stranger’s that you can just walk away from.”

“But it is.”

Mouth now visibly hanging open, I shook my head and jerked my hand out of his grip. “You’re getting marry in less than an hour, stop lying to yourself,” I managed to say, not wanting to believe in the alternate truth he was somehow offering me. Somehow managing to convince me to trust him.

Strong arms gripped onto my shoulders, shaking me with gentle waves until I finally turned to acknowledge him visually. “Amber. I am not getting marry.”

Eyes flickering in confusion, I peered down at his pure white suit, freshly-styled hair, and down the bridal walkway. I don’t understand.

“I’m not getting marry, Amber. At least, not to her,” he jerked his head toward the location where the kiss-the-bride oath was supposed to rightfully take place. “I saw you came in. I saw a way out. I’m taking it, Amber. I’m taking in my last chance at happiness.”

I jerked my arm away immediately, scoffing at his display of elaborate lie. We weren’t living in a world where marriage is between two unwilling people. That would have to be the most ridiculous I ever heard. “Vernon, you’re over your head. This isn’t the 18^th century where you can’t decide for yourself.”

“No, no it isn’t. But my parents can make it into the 18^th century, and they did. Amber, they would’ve ruined everything…everything, just so they can control my life. I wouldn’t even have a chance at,” he vaguely gestured toward my direction, “music, this, us.”

“You sent that picture yourself, Vernon, at Christmas. You know, the one right before the news that you’re getting married broke out? But oh wait,” I paused, sarcasm rolling at the tip of my tongue. “Of course someone sent that and manipulated everything. Oops, I guess you have no way of social contacts after that.”

He went silent, dead silent, and slowly nodded. I knew he noticed the clear undertone of mockery in my words. I knew he saw the way I refused to break down my walls. I knew it, but I couldn’t help but to also know the way his eyes registered hurt and his arms went slackened as though he finally gave up.

Taking him in at this moment, I saw his usual confident stance gone, the assertive way in which he hold himself (which I had hopelessly fallen for) disappearing behind a shadow of contempt…for himself?

“Vernon,” I gave him the chance of doubt, already dreading the feeling of regrets that could come crashing down soon afterward, “talk to me. What is actually going on?”

He glanced up, hope lighting behind the wavering truce he must have decided for himself. Grasping my hand in the same way that once made me weak, made my heart overexerted its limit, he tugged me forward and I found myself barreling down the altar at an alarmingly fast pace. Before I could even realize what was going on, Vernon tightened his hold, fingers interlacing with mine before he turned to everyone who was in attendance of the wedding and cleared his throat.

Despite having become used to being ogled at constantly while in the limelight, I found myself gulping as a sheen layer of sweats started to trickle down.

“I have an announcement to make,” his strange, booming voice echoed across the huge hall, a look of recognition on his face as he gazed at the other end. “Ah, my fiancée, what a timing. Now that all the important players had gather, I would like to call this wedding off.”

Collective gasps and alarming murmurs rang out, tension rising ever so slowly before a pair of gentle-looking (albeit expensively-dressed) older couple marched over to where I, we, were standing. They leveled a glare at me.

“Hansol,” they said threateningly, no doubt leaving no room for questioning.

And yet Vernon strived forward, ignoring the two who I had now realized were his parents. “I do not love my fiancée, the media was lying. She has never been my girlfriend, I have never even met her before that news came out, and it was all a manipulation on my parents’ part. The one who I was truly dating is Amber Liu, and I very much intend on marrying her somewhere near in the future!”

This time, the gasp that rang out came from my own mouth. After all, he did not just kneeled down on one knee, a velvety box containing a simple princess cut glaring at me as if mockingly. Eyes straining down at Vernon, I shook my head, about to pull my hand back and just elope out of there (forever leaving that continent, mind you), but a firm grip held me back and the beats drumming in my ears sounded not so far away now, a consistent stubbornness that whispered my true desire.

Say yes, Amber. Say yes.

You know you were a wreck without him.

You were screwed the moment you laid eyes on that man, Amber Liu.

I wasn’t about to deny the truth. I wasn’t even about to remotely refute the sudden sprouts of love that grew when my forsaken gaze landed on Vernon, the strange Halfling this part of the world isn’t used to yet. Sharp features, and yet soft touches…brushing arms, lingering desires.

The familiar history of judgmental glances.

We came grasping about, understanding each other in our own strange ways. I love you never came up, a silent agreement that foretold heartbreaks. We didn’t trust ourselves enough to utter the word, didn’t trust the past to provide something as wonderful as the impossibly perfect world we possessed. So we played games, invisible threads of our hearts hanging high above the clouds. It was bliss. And then it shattered. Shards of beating hearts.

And now he tells me it wasn’t an illusion? That I didn’t live in a dream-like world? That it was all real?

“I love you, Amber,” he uttered those 3 words, and a wave of emotions crashed down onto me. I felt strings grasping those shards, slowly hauling the missing pieces to the center of my world, and I felt nimble fingers, carefully gluing the fragile parts and fitting them perfectly together again.

“I—“

“Just say yes already,” a manifestation of my desire came about, in the form of the girl in a fluffy wedding dress, whose feet were advancing toward us at an alarmingly fast pace for someone wearing such an outfit. “I love you too, let’s get marry, ditch the fiancée, public confession, that sort of thing,” she rolled her eyes, grasping my hand and begrudgingly placing the ring onto it.

Gaze meeting those of Vernon, a smile threatened to break out onto my face when the shrieks of “What do you think you’re doing?!” rang out from both side of the families, particularly among the set of birth-givers. Stifling in laughter, I nodded at him, and that was all he needed before he firmly grasped my hand once again, standing defiantly against the fuming sets of parents.

“I have enough, Mother, Father,” echoing voices of Vernon and his former fiancée rang out simultaneously but they didn’t even bat an eye at the strange coincidence. “I’m done with playing your game,” the girl threw her bouquet and veil onto the ground, stomping onto them in her pure white heels. “Hansol is going to marry Amber, which, by the way, congratulation. Totally would ship you two,” her voice grew quieter at the last part, speaking only to us before she turned back to the room full of reporters and important guests. “They deserve to be happy. And Mother, Father, I can sue you and the Chois for a preachment of basic human rights, emotional damage, and blackmailing. I am a lawyer, after all,” she held her head high, steel gaze sweeping over the room before she turned around and smiled at me. “Amber, he cried himself to sleep last night. I could hear it so clearly next door,” she whispered, to which an increasingly red-faced former heir was about to swat her approaching fingers away.

~~~

I opened my eyes, sweats adorning my face as I grasped around my bedsheet for the familiar object. This would always occur, with me waking up in desperation to escape from the nightmare, the nightmare of a perfect life. Of happiness.

“Amber, what’s wrong?” Larger hands grabbed mine tightly, before deft fingers reached up to brush the falling tears from my face. Disbelief, I turned, and there was Vernon, perched on his own nest of pillows as he peered worriedly into my face. Call me a drama queen, and yet I couldn’t believe the manifestation of my nightmare---my dream, actually residing beside me. But I wasn’t mistaken. Those hazel eyes, dipping deeper into the pool of chocolate brown…something I would never mistaken for another.

“Vernon…?”

As soon as my uncertain voice reached his ears, he immediately chuckled and pulled me into a soothing embrace. Intertwining his hand with my left one, he lifted them up and show me the matching silver rings adorning our fingers. “You said yes, Amber. It’s too late. Take responsibility for my heart,” he teasingly said, a quick press of his lips to my cheek confirming reality.

“…Everything’s over?”

This time, his tightened grip as he encircled my waist told me all I need to know.

I’m here.

You’re safe.

We’re together.

I love you.

I hope you guys enjoy this story!

I dabbled in a style of writing that isn't the one I usually used, and it would be great if you guys comment what you think! 

Also, thank you to twe1314 for this request~ Definitely not what you were thinking of when you requested, but I still hope you like it! 

If anyone of you are confused or have any questions, feel free to comment~!