Proposal Gone Wrong

"...I'm sorry" I said, looking up into the disappointed eyes of my boyfriend.

"What do you mean? You can't just say no to me, Amber! We've been dating for over five years and I thought we were in love with each other!" Himchan shouted, his expression hurt and confused at my words.

I stared at him, my heart wrenching at the thought of hurting the poor boy. But I can't do this. I can't betray the people that have been there with me my whole life and support me every step of the way. It was wrong. It was just wrong to accept his marriage proposal.

"Himchan-oppa, mianhe." I smiled, pretending that I was fine. "I just...don't feels the same way anymore. My heart don't flutter everytime I see you and I no longer get butterflies in my stomach whenever we kiss. I did believed that we were soulmates," I glanced at him, retreating my hand from his outstretched grip, "but now, I feels like we don't belong together anymore. I'm sorry."

Feeling the tears straining to be released, I turned around and with a final, cruel "Goodbye," I walked away for good. I couldn't bare to see the sad look on his face as he watched me walk away from his life. I couldn't bare the thought of crushing his heart into a million pieces, something that I promised I would never do.

And now, look at me. Intentionally squashing the light of hope from him forever.

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I was desperately hoping we wouldn't see each other again. I was praying to the God up there that I wouldn't see the one true love of my life again. But then I did.

It was karma, I swear. Why else would I accidentally got his engagement party's invitation in my mail box? Oh right, the little son of God was playing tricks on me. As if I didn't feels enough pain when I turned away from him.

Twisting the wretched invitation, I stared at the name on the card. Kim Himchan and ________. The one girl that he just had to ended up with was the one that was the most opposed to our relationship in high school. The one that did everything to get his attention by flaunting around her daddy's money. It just had to be her!

Furious, I clenched the card in my hands and took a deep breath. I needed to calm down. He was no longer mine. I have no rights to be jealous or judgemental about his choice of the girl that he wanted to end up with. I don't have any reasons to be so angry, so mad, so disappointed at how he was playing me into his hands perfectly. It was all in the past.

Kim Himchan is my past.

I am going to show up at this party, and prove to him that I did, indeed, got over him and had move on with my life. Hell, is it wrong to want to watch as the expression on your ex-lover changed from a mix of love to hatred? Is it wrong to feels so hurt at the betrayal that was cause by your own weakness?

Of course it was. Of course everything was my faults. It was all my faults.

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Putting on the puffy sky blue dress, I stared at myself in the mirror as I commemorated our anniversary. It had been two years since I had refused his proposal, and he was ready to move on.

He had changed. I had changed. I was no longer the tomboy that I once was. He was no longer the narcissistic little boy that I once knew. I was no longer the little girl that had fun every single time she could play sports, with a free mind and spirit that doesn't give a care to the girl. And he was no longer the sweet gentleman that show up at my doorstep with a bouquet of rose for our anniversary. 

It was over. And official. I was going to be celebrating the engagement party of someone that I could never get over. I took the risk, and I lost. His father had won. He was right. Of course he was. Mr. Kim was always right no matter what. If he says that his son would never chase after someone like me, Kim Himchan would never do that. If he says that I was not the right girl, Kim Himchan would turn me away.

But instead? Kim Himchan took the risk and disobeyed his father. He had proposed to me, and I was too scared for my family to say yes. I let go of my own happiness so that my family would be able to live happily for the rest of their life. My parents weren't proud of me, though, and in the end, what did I get?

An empty apartment and a life with no purpose.

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"Amber?" he asked, sounding surprised. I didn't need to turn around to recognize this voice. It was him.

"Hello, Himchan-ssi," I took a silent deep breath and turned around, facing the one guy that I had vowed to never see again in fear for my own heart.

"Amber! It's so nice to see you again! I haven't seen you for years!" he said excitedly, and I smiled back at him politely. "I can't believe you actually came! My fiancee have been looking for you for so long. She insisted that I invited you to our engagement party!" he chuckled "We had a little bet, actually. I said you wouldn't come, and she opposed me, saying that you would come! And look at this, you did come!" he winked at me playfully. "You looked so different now, Amber. I can't believe that it had been years since I last seen you. I mean, look at that long brown hair! You looked amazing!"

I twitched nervously, mind twirling around as I took in all the words he said. Oh, I realized, they were in love. So Mr. Kim didn't force his son to marry a rich heiress after all.

"I'm very happy for you, Himchan-ssi! And congratulation." I grinned, acting as happy as I could possibly can. "But I really must get going. I have a business trip in about an hour and I really don't want to miss this. I just swing by to say that I'm really happy for the two of you." I blurted out before dumping the rest of the cocktail drink down my throat and grabbed my bag. "You don't need to mind me. I'll keep in touch with you two later! I promised I'll be at the wedding!" I called out as I hurriedly walked out the door.

For the second time of my life, I cried once again for the same man. The salty tears that trailed down my face was endless that day, and my heart was shattering every single second that I was standing in front of that man. Walking away was the best option, but was it really the best one for me?

I decided that it was just a trivial thing to think about as I stared at the beautiful, sparkling Han River. It had the free spirit that the tomboy Amber had, and I wondered why I ever let the part of me that I truly love disappear. The river has a part of me. And I need that part back.

Wind blowing my hair into the wind, I closed my eyes and prepared for the jump.

"Amber?! Hey, calm down!" someone yelled out and ran over to me. Yanking me back down onto the ground, I crashed against soft flesh and the perfume that was oh-so-familiar.

"Himchan?" I whispered, my voice broken as I looked into the eyes that I once love.

"Amber, don't do this. You can't do this. You still have a long life to live."

"Do I, oppa? Do I really?" I asked sadly as I bit my lips and let the tears freely fall for the first time in front of this man.

"A-Amber? What's going on? What do you mean?!" he shook me, his voice sounding angry now that he seemed to have registered my words.

"Oppa, the doctors said I have less than a year left to live." I sounded out the words, but all that my brain could process was the harsh waves of the river pulling me toward it. Tempting me.

"...Did you tell anyone?" he asked, his voice small.

"No."

"Your parents?"

"No."

"Why?!" he spat out, eyes staring into mine in shock.

"It doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matter to me anymore, oppa. I don't have the will to live anymore." I answered him sadly, eyes drooping down as the tears stopped. There it was. All my feelings were now out in the open. Why did I have to be so vulnerable when it come to him?

"Amber. You can't just give up like this. I don't believe that the Amber I know would do something so...cowardly." Himchan shook his head as his grip on my arms tightened.

"Well then, oppa, I would like to ask you one question. Who is Amber?"

"Amber, is this." he said with a small smile as he crashed his lips onto mine, his kiss caring and gentle, but there was a needy touch in it.

"O-Oppa..." my eyes widened in surprise as I pulled away, "You can't do this!"

"Yes, I can, Amber." he smirked before pulling me close and kissed me passionately. Arms wrapping around my waist and refusing to let me go, I stayed still as he proceeded, mind clouded.

"What's going on? Aren't you getting marry?!"

"Yes I am, Amber. But not to her" he pulled away and shook his head. Kneeling down onto one knee, he took my hand and pulled out a midnight blue box. Once again.

"Will you marry me, Amber Josephine Liu? I know that it was cruel, but I wanted to know how you feels about me so we staged that whole engagement party act. I knows that I was and still am in love with you, Amber, but I didn't know if you feels the same way! You broke my heart when you left me two years ago, but afterward, I realized that my father had pulled some strings to get you to reject me, and-"

"Yes!" I screamed "Yes! I'll marry you!"

"Amber..." he looked into my eyes "I love you. And I promise that we will cure your illness permanently. Together." he muttered before pulling me into a kiss that I will never refuse again.

I know that I haven't update for a while and I don't deserve this, but...

CAN YOU PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK? PLEASE ^.^

I mean, that's all I'm asking as an author.