The next morning YongGuk and Alex is woken up by a hammering on the front door to her apartment. YongGuk makes a fast move in shock but the sudden move and the fact that he had forgotten about the previous day’s ordeal courses him to cry out in pain.

Alex, who has been sleeping in a corner, sends him a sharp glare and then stands up slowly swifting her gaze back to the door.

“SO SOMEONE IS IN HUH!” the person at the door yells in an almost frantic way.

Alex cracks her neck and grasps a beanie from her suitcase. She throws it to YongGuk “Cover your hair and get in the corner now!” She points at the corner and sends him a cold and serious glare. YongGuk nods and moves biting his lip hard to stop himself from complaining about the pain.

The hammering contiues and more yells makes Alex look pissed “Another one” she curses under her breath and heads to the door. She doesn’t even reach it before it is forcefully slammed open and a big guy storms in directly towards Alex “WHERE IS HE?”

“Not here you idiot” She snaps back at him. The guy grasps the collar of her shirt and sends her flying against the wall next to the door. Alex grits her teeth but doesn’t show any sign of being shocked or scared.

“He moved out a week ago!” Alex snaps again. The guy grasps her collar again and lifts her feet from the ground. “YEAH RIGHT LIKE I HAVEN*T HEARD THAT BEFORE!” The guy yells in her face.

YongGuk watches with terror. His eyes fixes on Alex’s face which doesn’t look scared at all, just pissed.

*Stupidly fearless*

Those were the words G.O. had told Doo Joon. YongGuk swallows his saliva and presses himself against the corner of the room. He doesn’t stand a chance in his condition but he feels ashamed that he is just watching.

“I’m so ing bloody sick of guys coming to look for that idiot. If I knew where he was I would tell you!” Alex growls at the guy widening her eyes and moving her face closer to the big thug holding her over the ground. She bends her legs up to her stomach and pushes the guy away from her with force so he lets go of her and stumbles back. She lands on the ground with a thump and a “!”

The guy stumbles a bit and Alex gets back on her feet. Her shirt is torn in the neck. She tilts her head back and scowls at the guy “Get the out of my place” She hisses.

“Not till someone tells me where Choi is!” he looks around and sees YongGuk in the corner. He steps towards him but Alex jumps in front “Yeah back off that’s not him”

The guy grins “Did you do that to him? He looks ing scared” He laughs. YongGuk feels his defeat reaching another level. Alex grits her teeth.

She shoves the guy hard forcing him back “Bloody ing idiot” She snaps “Get the out or I’m gonna shove my foot so far up your you’ll be able to taste it!” She smirks deviously. The guy gets pissed “Don’t you dare talk to me like that you ing foreigner!” He throws a punch at her which she ducks.

“That is all you got?” She laughs dryly. At this point the guy has turned red with furry. He grasps and pins her against the wall standing close so she can’t do the same trick as before. He smirks and lifts her from the ground by only using more force.

She struggles trying to get his hands off but he just laughs “Not so bloody cocky now huh?”

YongGuk swallows. He can see the struggle Alex is putting up and wants to intervene but he just can’t bring himself to do anything. He closes his fists tight cursing himself to hell for being so scared. His eyes fixes on Alex’s and when they start moving into the back of her head Yong Guk hits his chest hard with a fist and then jumps up ignoring the pain.

 He takes a steps towards the guy and shoves him “Yah!” His voice is back to normal, deep and husky. The guy lets go of Alex who drops to the floor gasping for air.

“What now you got balls?” The guy shoves YongGuk back.

YongGuk sends a quick looks at Alex who is suddenly looking very small and weak. He scowls back at the guy “Leave now!”

The guy laughs and YongGuk throws a punch slamming his fist in the guys face sending him backwards. “Are you deaf!” YongGuk snares sounding like a lion growling. He reaches a hand down to Alex who takes it and gets helped up. “Thanks” she whispers and closes her eyes for a sec. The guy goes at them with a roar. YongGuk throws another fist in his stomach. He lifts him up and throws him back getting an outlet for all of his bottled up frustrations about not having been able to defend himself the night before.

Alex pulls YongGuk back. YongGuk refuses but she steps in front of him taking a hold of his chin “S-stop now” her voice is marked of the lack of air. YongGuk looks at her eyes. He can see she is serious.

“Stop” she repeats this time sounding very determinded. YongGuk nods once and looks down.

Alex turns to the guy and pushes him back against the door and hammers her right hand in it directly next to his face making a hole “Out now!” She snares and the guy runs as if his life was depending on it.

She smacks the door and turns, leaning against the door, closing her eyes and breathes in and out a few times before shaking her hand vigorously “Shiiiiit that hurt” She looks at her right hand. YongGuk stumbles over to her keeping a hand on the wall to support himself “Did you really have to piss him off like that!” he frowns. He can’t believe Alex manages to calm him so quickly.

She leans her head back and grins “Took you long enough to get up”

He frowns harder “You did it on purpose to get me up?”

She rubs and then looks directly at him “Yes”

“You could have been killed!” He yells. She chuckles “Like that would kill me” She laughs dryly

She steps over to the kitchen

“What is that suppose to mean?” YongGuk follows her gritting his teeth in pain.

She looks over her shoulder at him shortly and then grins “Never mind”

“, you can’t just say something like that and don’t explain yourself!” He takes a step away from the wall and trips. Alex just barely catches him before he falls “Be more careful will you!”

He frowns “Coming from you!”

Alex chuckle “Right” She leads him to the counter and puts a couple of pills in his hand “For the pain” She fills a glass with water and places it on the counter. YongGuk clenches his jaw looking at her profile. Her left cheekbone is dark red. Something about the face makes him frown. He is still convinced Alex is a guy but the face has another type of softness about it. He swallows the pills and drinks the water. “How come you speak Korean so well?” He then asks trying to his mind off his pain.

She shrugs “I don’t know”

He frowns “You don’t know?”

Alex shrugs “No” her eyes moves to him “I don’t”

“Have you been in Korea before?” He asks still frowning

She nods “I have been told so”

“Told so? You don’t remember?”

“No”

He laughs “You are kidding right? That is just ridiculous”

A small smirk appear on her lips and she tilts her head back “If you say so”

He stops laughing and frowns “Come on! How can you not remember something like that?”

She tilts her head “Good question”

The silence that follows makes YongGuk agitated “ then answer it!”

She shoots him a glare “You really think you are in a position to make demands like that?” she turns facing him completely and crosses her arms. YongGuk turns pale in a second “S-sorry I just…” he looks down “”

She looks at slight blush that appears on his cheeks in the next second and smiles a little “I’ll tell you” she takes his glass and puts it in the sink.

He looks up at her “Really?”

“Yeah really. You never believe what I’m saying do you?”

“Can you blame me” he mumbles and scratches his neck.

“Well then” She smirks “You wanna stand up while I talk?”

He frowns “I rather not”

“You want a hand getting back to the madras?”

He nods slightly, feeling a bit embarrassed. Alex puts an arm around his back. He tenses a bit and doesn’t relax until he is on the madras grunting over the pain he can’t seem to get rid of no matter what he does.

Alex sits next to him leaving some space between them. She brought a wet piece of fabric to hold against her cheek.

She sighs “I died” She turns her face towards him “6 months ago I died. They brought me back though” She looks at the fabric in her hand before placing it back on her cheek “Well most of me. I lost my life” She tilts her head “I can’t remember anything from before I died. Well that’s a lie I remember the last moment before I died. The rest is gone though”

He looks at her eyes not sure how that can be true “Seriously?”

She looks back at him “You think it sounds like a joke? Uhm by the way I uhm texted someone called HimChan from your phone saying you weren’t coming back to the dorm”

“HimChan?” YongGuk looks around “Where is my phone?”

Alex stands up and walks over to the table. She picks up the phone and hesitates for a second before bringing it back to YongGuk. He looks at the inbox. She has only opened one text from HimChan “Why him?”

Alex sighs “I asked a friend who I should contact” She crosses her arms.

He looks at her clenching his jaw “You told someone?”

She shakes her head remembering how hurt Seungho had sounded when she refused to tell

“You didn’t?”

Alex looks at YongGuk “No. It’s not their business” She picks up her own phone and looks at it. She hasn’t heard from Seungho. She is hoping he isn’t too pissed. After all he is just worried about her.

YongGuk looks at her not sure what to believe. Alex could pretty much destroy his life with this information. He would never be able to face his fans or other idols for that matter if anyone knew he had been .

“A lot of people would tell someone” He mumbles.

Alex looks at him and sighs running her tongue over her lip. She narrows her eyes and then sticks out her hand “Hi my name is Alex nice to meet you” She lets her own normal voice be heard. YongGuk frowns looking at her face. She grins and pulls of her beanie removing her hair by running her hand through it. She then pulls the big t-shirt off. Under the t-shirt she wears a sports bra with a tank top over that. The cloth she uses to hide her figure was soaking wet so after she changed she didn’t put it back on. Hell to sleep with anyway.

YongGuk stares at her but she smiles sweetly and waves a hand “Hi”

“You are a girl!” YongGuk unconsciously wraps his arms around himself

“Yeah” She sighs “Fancy that” She laughs looking straight ahead ruffling her hair

YongGuk swallows. The dark red hair just long enough to reach the middle of her neck casually moves about under her fingers. The cut is messy and could easily go for being a male haircut that needed a bit of t. The beanie she was wearing had kept it hidden very well. He swallows realizing he had been starring with his mouth open. He looks away blushing and rubbing his neck. *God he… she is actually quite stunning*

She looks at the shirt in her hands “Ruined” She throws is in the trash in the kitchen.

She then turns and looks at him with calm and harmonic eyes. He stares at her again. *How can she change like that?*

“Listen to me now. I’m gonna tell you something that only a few other people in this country knows” Alex looks at her feet.

“Does Seungho know you are a girl” Yong Guk frowns

Alex nods “Yeah” She chuckles and looks at him “I met Seungho oppa before I was in the accident and he was about the only one who didn’t blame me for not remembering him. He was hurt but said that it wasn’t important” She smiles faintly thinking back.

“What happened?” Yong Guk looks at her profile as she pouts slightly as she thinks “Motorcycle accident. Or well I have been told I was at a race when some thugs came and threatened a friend of mine. I’m not sure how it came to it but I ended up in a chase where I was trying to get my friend away from them. In the end the front tire of the bike I was driving got shot and exploded. The guy I was trying to help had jumped off shortly before and I ended up crashing into a van. I was still conscious for a while and was able to crawl away. Pretty lucky since the bike blew up shortly after sending me flying into another car”

Alex pauses and calmly finds her phone.

YongGuk keeps looking at her face trying to make her story sound true. It sounds like something out of a movie. She hands him the phone “It was on the news” She starts a clip and settles down next to him..

It’s taken from a helicopter and he sees a bike with two people driving down the street, right behind it is 4 other bikes. They are passing recklessly in and out between cars. The front bike turns down a disserted street and the 4 others follows. Then the front bike turns and a person jumps off. The driver now heads back towards the other four with full speed.

YongGuk glances at Alex who is looking calmly at the clip. YongGuk turns his attention back to the clip.

It looks like something out of an action movie. From the four bikes are small flashes like from a gun. Then a loud bang and the lone bike slingers and heads directly into a van coming behind the 4 bikes. For a second everything is chaos and the camera shakes and moves about before it zooms in on the person crawling away from the burning bike. The screen is a bit blurred but then gets back in focus just in time to see the person sitting on the knees while pulling of the helmet. The image is very clear now and the chopper circles and zooms further in. Alex face turns against it. Red long hair is flying in all directions. A second later an explosion makes the camera shake and the next thing he sees is Alex lying motionless on the ground next to a car with a huge dent. He turns his head to look at Alex again, she is watching it like it was the news saying showing something about a new law being set in motion.

The clip ends and she takes the phone back “Someone from one of the nearby houses took a couple of pictures” She gets up and walks over to her suitcase. She pulls out a framed picture “I know is pretty macabre to keep this in a frame but… I don’t know I must be a masochist” She comes back and hands it to him. It shows her kneeling on the ground in front of the burning bike in a leather outfit hugging her female figure.

Her hair is flying to the right, a few strands in front of her face. In her left hand she has her helmet. Her eyes are turned to the sky, blood is running from the left corner of and a from under her hairline in the right side covering the side of the face with red lines. Drops of blood are falling from her chin. The blue eyes are cold. She doesn’t look scared or angry just dead.

Her shoulder seems out of place. It really looks like a scene from a rated action-movie. It could very well have been a picture from one of the war movies he has seen. He hands it back and she hides it away in her suitcase.

“I wasn’t scared. I wanted to die so when I woke up after having been in a coma for a month I was pissed that I was alive. I was surrounded by ‘friends’ but I didn’t recognize a single one” Alex looks at YongGuk “They didn’t take it very well” She smiles but it comes off more pained than happy “I spend the next week in the hospital. Regaining strength they called it. I call it torture. People kept coming with pictures and videos and god knows what to help me remember. Telling me stories about what we had seen together. Didn’t mean to me” She sits down next to him again

“I got more and more pissed that I hadn’t just died. I felt like noting could be worse than having to listen to all those people telling me who I was. They got mad or started crying but I didn’t care. I was already dead. The Alex they knew was long gone and I just told them to off. They didn’t. I guess that would define a good friend right?” She looks at Yong Guk who is frowning trying to imagine how it must be to be in a situation like that. He looks up at her and she continues “Then one day I just had enough. I guess I had been awake for 6 days or something. I took off, I stole a motorcycle and I drove away. I knew I used to race motorcycles and once I got on the bike I felt at ease. I just wanted to drive forever and never stop” She looks ahead and a smile lingers on her lips “Nothing beats driving on a motorcycle” her smile fades and she looks at her hands “I knew I couldn’t just drive so I needed to figure out what to do. I decided I was gonna find a place where I could die in peace”

YongGuk frowns and looks at her. Her blue eyes calmly reflecting the depressing past of feeling like life was worth nothing.

“I not sure how but I ended up at this pavilion in the outskirt of Tokyo. It was locked but apparently I am very good at picking locks” She smirks

“I sat there for a few days without people showing up so I started thinking at least there I could die in peace…” She sighs and looks at the floor “And that’s when Seungho Oppa turned up. Him and G.O. They hadn’t visited me at the hospital so I figured they didn’t know me. I was pretty weak at that point and hadn’t eaten or drunk anything in a while. Seungho was crying” She ruffles her hair a bit and frowns “He sat across from me and looked at my face with such hurt. Now... I had seen my so-called friends hurt but… I don’t know it was different. He didn’t try and tell me who I was, he didn’t even ask if I remembered him. He gave me his hand and introduced himself as Yang Seungho leader of MBLAQ. I took his hand and then he cried again leaning over the table just holding my hand. I don’t know why I didn’t pull it back. I guess I didn’t care. I have tried and find out how he knew where I was but he keeps telling me that it’s not important. He said that was the first time we had met as Seungho and Alex. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to me really” She looks at YongGuk who nods “It does sound a bit strange” He mumbles.

“I know he knew me but… Aish he won’t tell me anything about how he knew me. It’s really frustrating” She pouts unhappily.

For a moment she just blinks. YongGuk can see how the thoughts spin in her head.

“I owe him everything. Him and G.O. stayed with me. They didn’t ask me anything just sat there and looked out the window. Their phones rang but they turned them off. I know now they must have gotten in big trouble for it but they didn’t show it back then. After a few hours I was kind of glad to have them around. I felt less lonely and I started talking to them. They had brought food and drinks and I actually felt like eating. They convinced me to go back and if it weren’t for them I would probably be dead in that pavilion right now” She grins “God I’m so depressing to listen to”

She hits her forehead with her palm, having forgotten that the hand wasn’t feeling that well and yells in pain “!” She curses. YongGuk smirks. She curses more than he does.

“So then what happened?” he asks with a small smile

She looks at him “It’s just getting boring”

YongGuk smiles bigger “Please tell me”

She looks at his face for a second “Only because you are smiling” She then looks back ahead. YongGuk chuckles, she is actually kind of sweet.

“Hmm I got back to my place. Seungho knew where it was, I didn’t. Some of those people calling me their friend were there and they actually attacked Seungho and G.O. claiming they had kidnapped me or something. I told them to go themselves which made them shut up” She smirks “It was a pretty nice place and I spend the next days going through everything. Seungho and G.O. had to work but they came to my place every time they were off and slept on the couch. They brought the rest of MBLAQ after about a week and they cooked for me and I was really happy. They are very funny and sweet all of them. Then they had to go back to Korea and I stayed behind. They kept contacting me” She looks at YongGuk with big happy eyes making him smile as well.

“I had had enough of the people sulking about the fact that I still didn’t remember them so I took off again, traveled around Japan. I met TaMa in Okinawa and he introduced me to the others. I decided I might as well stick with them for a while”

“Wait how long have you been rapping?” YongGuk frowns and looks at his hands

She smirks “almost 4 months”

“Don’t tell anyone that” He rubs his neck “Would embarrass me since you beat me” He sends her a glance out the corner of his eye “You don’t know if you had been rapping before… that?”

“Please just say before I died” She grins

He shakes his head “Makes you sound like a zombie” He grins slightly.

Alex nods “Then… Before she died. My sister if you will” Alex grins

He nods “That I can manage”

“Well I don’t think I did. I was more into rock. Still am. Nothing beats a good moshpit if you ask me” She smirks

“Moshpit?” He frowns

“Yeah you know where people are at a concert and they kind just jumps into each other like maniacs on speed” She chuckles “It can be a bit brutal but hey life is like that in itself anyway”

He nods softly “I guess” He scratches his neck “Please tell me what happened next” He looks up at her smiling faintly

“Hmm I tried to figure out who I was. Didn’t go that well” She frowns “I started driving motorcycles again. Not racing though” She sighs “I started getting into fights for no apparent reason and Seungho would scold me over Skype for being too reckless. For a while I thought things were coming back to me but they didn’t. I ended up in the hospital again about a month and a half ago. Someone shot me. I’m still not sure who it was” She frowns. YongGuk stares at her. She is talking about it like it’s nothing. As if she is she had gotten a letter she couldn’t remember who sent.

“Seungho showed up. He had taken the first flight he could get and showed up at the hospital and was sitting there when I woke up. He didn’t look like he had been sleeping much. He didn’t scold me but just sat there looking at the floor. I felt terrible that he had come that long way and that he was so worried because I was too reckless. At that time there was talk about the battle and going to Korea so he asked if I couldn’t stay in Korea for a while afterwards. So here I am” She finishes and leans back against the wall.

YongGuk looks at her “Seungho really came to Japan just like that in the middle of their promotion?” She nods “Their manager was there as well but he left the next day”

“You called him about me?”

She looks at him “Only because I didn’t know who is in your group. You had gotten way to many texts and I wasn’t gonna read all of them. Those are private. He didn’t know but Cheundong did. I haven’t told them anything I swear. I actually snapped at Seungho oppa. I don’t do that a lot”

YongGuk leans back biting his lip to suppress the pain caused by moving. He looks at Alex and then back at his hands trying to make sense of everything he just heard.