YongGuk just keeps running. Not knowing where he is gonna end up. He turns a corner and sees an alley. He staggers down the alley and eventually falls to his knees. He shakes his head and hits it with closed fists “No no NO!” he yells and sinks together.

“YONGGUK!”

He hears his name and dashes to the side hiding next to a dumpster covering his head with his arms *Don’t find me*

“GUK!”

He hears DaeHyun but he just stays quite and hidden. He doesn’t want to talk to them right now. Their voices become distant and he gets up and starts walking slowly further down the alley. YongGuk tries to make sense of what happened. He can’t believe what he said, what he did…

He clenches his jaw and digs his hands in his pockets. His phone starts ringing he takes it out seeing HimChan’s name. He turns it off and puts it away again.

Before he realizes it 4 hours has passed and he finally stops finding himself at a school. He walks to a grass field and sits against a pole. He finds his phone and turns it on. His mind is pretty numb so he isn’t really thinking about anything anymore.

He watch the missed calls and texts storm his phone. Every single guy in MBLAQ and B.A.P has tried to call but not Alex. Seungho has sent a ton of texts. He frowns and feels a tear run down his cheek *I’m the monster*

He calls a number.

“Yeah hey my rock”

“I…” YongGuk frowns “Zico… do you have time?”

“You sound all wrong is something up?”

YongGuk sighs “Do you have time?” He rubs his burning eyes with a hand

“Yes yes off course. Where are you?”

YongGuk looks around “A school”

“Yeah you gotta be a bit more specific” a chuckle

YongGuk sighs “I don’t know”

“Dude you are scaring me here what is with you?”

“Just get here” YongGuk holds his closed fist against his forehead

“But I don’t know where you are!”

“Oh right” YongGuk mumbles and looks around he spots the name of the school and tells Zico who says he’ll be there in half an hour.

“Great” YongGuk mumbles and hangs up. He turns the phone in his hand looking at it. He picks it up and looks at his background. He never got around to changing it so it is still him with Alex on his back “I’m such an idiot” He throws his phone as far as he can from his sitting position. He bends his legs and plants his arms on them. He keeps going over what happened on the roof.

He is so confused. She didn’t care but she was doing it for him. If he could have said he was fine she would let it go. *Why did she insist on making me admit that I wasn’t past it?* he grunts and hides his face in his arms. He hears his phone ringing again but doesn’t even bother looking up. He just listens to the sound of it ringing until it dies out.

Then silence. He hears cars far off in the distance. His phone rings again. He lifts his eyes spotting it lighting up on the grass. He watches it die out again. He starts counting how many times it rings before it dies. *How many lifes does a call have?*

The 30 minutes pass fast.

“Dude!” Zico comes running and drops next to him shaking his arm “YongGuk are you okay?”

YongGuk stares at the phone which is ringing again. Zico looks at it and back at YongGuk “You don’t wanna answer that?”

He doesn’t answer. Zico walks over and picks up his phone “Guk you have…”

“16 missed calls” YongGuk mumbles. He has been counting how many times someone has called him after he threw it away.

“Yes” Zico walks back “Shouldn’t you answer them?”

“No” he just says “I don’t wanna talk with them”

Zico drops next to him looking at the phone.

“It’ll stop ringing in a sec. It always dies” YongGuk mumbles.

Zico frowns “Dude you are depressing”

“I got ” YongGuk then says out of no where

“WHAT?!” Zico yells. “Today?”

“No” YongGuk’s eyes are still fixed on some spot on the grass “After the battle. Alex came and chased them off. They tied me up and me in both ends” he doesn’t care anymore. Zico is staring at him in disbelief.

“She brought me to her place and took care of me. The next morning a guy came and kicked in her door. He was after some guy named Choi who didn’t live there anymore. He threw Alex into a wall. She punched him. He looked at me but I was too scared to do anything. Alex pissed him off some more and he tried to strangle her. She did it so I would react. I punched him. I was just pissed. Then she told me about her life. She died once you know” He doesn’t look at Zico who is just staring at him.

“She was a motorcycle racer but she got in a chase and the tire got shot and she crashed into a van. Her bike exploded and she died. She was in a coma for a month. When she woke up she had forgotten everything but the second before she died. Her last thought was angry” YongGuk swallows “She lost the will to live. She ran out of the hospital and tried to starve herself to death. Seungho and G.O. from MBLAQ found her in time. She decided to live. When MBLAQ went back to Korea she moved to Okinawa where she fell in love with a guy who ended up cheating on her while she was in the hospital because she had gotten shot by someone she never found out who was. She came here to Korea where her landlord wanted to turn her into his little toy. She almost got strangled by one of several people who broke into her place looking for Choi. Last night she got beat up by 6 guys because she was on her own searching for the guys who me”

Zico scratches his neck “That is a lot to take in”

“It all happened within the last 8 months” YongGuk sighs “And earlier tonight I told her she was a monster. I said she wasn’t human and then I pushed her causing her to yell in pain and cough blood” he hides his face in his arms

“You did what?” Zico frowns “Are you an idiot?”

“You wanna hear the worst part?” YongGuk mumbles.

Zico frowns “How can it possibly get any worse?”

“I’m in love with her” YongGuk says and his shoulders start to shake. Zico puts his arms around his shoulders and leans his head on his back “ Guk”

YongGuk starts sobbing. Zico tries to understand what he has just been told.

“You are in love with her? For real?”

YongGuk nods “DaeHyun and YoungJae know. I think they knew before I did” He huffs in a small smirk and then frowns “But none of it matters”

“Why not?” Zico his back

“She doesn’t go for idols and to her I’m just a kid” he looks at Zico “And now I did this to her. Why would she ever go for a guy like me? I’m just some bloody Idol who wouldn’t even be able to hold her hand in public. Alex is beautiful and amazing and could have anyone… I’m just…”

“Shut the up” Zico gives him a push “She would be lucky to get a guy like you. A violent little like her. I don’t get why you like her”

YongGuk swallows “It’s just… The ways she smiles at me and… her hugs and even the way she teases. She…”

He frowns “Did you see her in the park?” YongGuk looks at Zico with teary eyes.

“I saw her making out with a girl” Zico smirks. YongGuk chuckles and wipes his face for tears “You saw her with the kids? Did you see her smile?”

“She did have a way with them” Zico mumbles.

YongGuk nods and smiles “She is caring, fun and knows how to throw a punch. Where do you find a girl like that?”

“Jail?” Zico smirks. YongGuk laughs slightly “There aren’t many girls like her”

“There are but most of them are lesbians” Zico mocks. YongGuk smiles looking straight ahead “There aren’t Zico. I know she has some anger issues but… She’d do anything for her friends. Isn’t that worth something?”

Zico nods “It is. That is a great trait but Guk. Alex is taking it too far. You gotta be able to see that it’s not normal”

“I know” YongGuk nods and sighs “I gotta get over her”

“Why?” Zico frowns harder “I mean. I know she is ed but… Maybe… you could make her change?”

YongGuk just shakes his head.

“I called her a monster Zico!” YongGuk holds on to his head with both hands “How can she ever fall for a guy who told har she isn’t human!” he starts sobbing again.

Zico sits silent for a while not sure what to say.

“Is she okay?” Zico frowns

“I don’t know” YongGuk lifts his head and wipes a couple of tears away “I didn’t stick around to find out. I just ran. I’m a ing idiot”

“Yeah I think that might be right” Zico nods. YongGuk glares at him. Zico widens his eyes “I mean… No you aren’t you are just…”

“Cut it out I’m an idiot don’t try and tell me something else. You are always honest. I appreciate that” YongGuk leans back resting his head against the pole.

Zico moves a bit back “Can I call and ask?”

“Do whatever you want” YongGuk looks straight ahead emotionless “Just don’t tell them where I am”

Zico nods and takes YongGuk’s phone which rings again. He picks up.

“YONGGUK FINALLY WHERE ARE YOU WE ARE ALL SO WORRIED PLEASE WHERE ARE YOU?” Zico moves the phone from his ear “Hey don’t yell. It’s Zico not YongGuk”

“Zico? What are you doing with his phone? Please say he is there with you” Zelo’s voice trembles.

“He picked up? Hand it over” another voice is heard

“It’s Zico” Zelo says sounding on the verge of tears

“Zico hey are Guk with you?” HimChan’s voice sounds

“Yeah he is here” Zico looks at YongGuk “His body is anyway. I’m not sure where his mind is” the look on YongGuk’s face is blank. His eyes show no emotions. He is completely numb.

“Oh thank god. He has been missing for more than 4 hours” HimChan says relieved

“Is it true he hurt Alex?” Zico keeps an eye on YongGuk but he doesn’t seem to even realize Zico is talking about it.

“Uhm yeah but he didn’t really cause her any new pain. He just kind of ripped up some old pain from the beating” HimChan mumbles

Zico frowns *What the hell is with that girl?*

“Is she okay?”

“Are you kidding me? The girl is crazy. She told the ambulance people to off” HimChan chuckles a little “Where is he we really want to find him?”

“He told me not to say”

“Give me that phone!” he hears yet another voice. A muffled sound indicates that the phone is changing hands

“Zico it’s Seungho you better tell me where he is or I’m gonna twist that little neck of yours so you never utter another bloody word again!”

Zico swallows *God he is actually pretty scary*

“D-don’t threaten me! I just got a call from Guk to meet him and I show up finding him a complete mess. He is staring at nothing right now” Zico waves a hand in front of his face but there is no reaction

“He is completely gone” he mumbles

“Tell. Me. Where. He. is”Seungho says pronouncing every word very clearly and with a tone that scares the crap out of Zico making him hang up and stare at the phone “Oh that was probably not smart”

He looks at YongGuk and starts shaking him vigorously “Guk… Guk!”

YongGuk closes his eyes but remains silent

“Aish. What the hell am I supposed to do?” Zico scrathes his head in frustration.

“Who many times can you cheat death?” YongGuk suddenly ask

Zico frowns “How would I know?”

“How can Alex still be alive after all she had been through?” YongGuk mumbles

“I don’t know” Zico sounds a bit more panicked

“You think everyone find peace when they die?”

“I don’t know” Zico is getting more and more freaked out

“Ever been in love Zico?” YongGuk sighs

“I don’t… wait what?”

YongGuk chuckles “Are you even listening to me?”

“You just keep asking me random questions I can’t answer. You are older than me for sake why would I have all the answers?” Zico whines

“I thought you were freaking amazing and knew everything and could do everything” YongGuk grins a little. His eyes still on the grass.

“Well… Only when it comes to uhm things which uhm isn’t uhm that complicated” Zico scratches his neck “Ask me how to be awesome I know the answer to that”

YongGuk chuckles “Thanks Zico”

“What for?” Zico frowns “You are really confusing me”

“You are such a cocky bastard I can’t help but smile” YongGuk takes a deep breath and relaxes a bit more. He looks at Zico “Did you call?”

“I did… you didn’t hear?” Zico frowns

“No” YongGuk looks away again “I was thinking”

“Well Alex is fine. She told the ambulance to off. I may have just gotten a fatal enemy in Seungho though” Zico frowns and rubs his neck

“What did you say now?” YongGuk looks at him again

“What makes you think I said anything?” Zico raises his voice.

“You always say something “YongGuk chuckles.

“Well not this time… I hung up on him. He was demanding to know where you are and I panicked” Zico pouts

YongGuk laughs “What? The freaking amazing Zico panicked?”
“Don’t make fun of me mister I-just-madly-insulted-a-girl-who-has-been-through--and- whom-I’m-in-love-with… guy” he frowns thinking it over to see if that made sense

YongGuk sighs and looks utterly unhappy “Thanks for reminding me”

Zico’s cheeks turn pink “No no no I… Argh ” He throws the phone in his hand.

YongGuk frowns looking after the phone “Wasn’t that mine?”

Zico looks at him and blinks a few times “Argh double ” He gets up and runs after the phone.

YongGuk looks after him

“Where the hell did it go?” Zico calls out looking around

Hey guys. I apologizes for my weird way of updating this... Going crazy one day and then not at all the next. It is something with work colliding with other plans and tiredness and a writers block for the sequel... Not that I don't have the idea because my head is overflowing with stuff I want in that story but when I wrote it down itjust didn't seem right. I wrote like 7 chapters and then decided they weren't good enough so I went back, deleted them and wrote 6 new. I don't know I like them but I don't love them... I'm gonna try and update the rest of this fast so I can move on and get some inputs to the other.. ;O)... If you got good ideas for what could be fun let me know... Well fun, dramatic, aweful and so on.. Thanks for sticking with me xD