**JI EUN POV**

I just finished talking to Minho over the phone. There was no change at all. We talked like how we usually do most of the times. But I still wonder over the exchanged of glance we had yesterday when I heard him say those words that really made me speechless.

“Whether I’m good at this or not, I will always have to lose if it’s you.”

/sigh/ I still remember how his voice sounded and how he looked while he was saying that. It was something I know he would say, but I never expected him to say those words to me.

Like… All this time, I thought I was just a girl in trouble and Minho just felt like being responsible for my safety. I thought he was just someone who won’t allow a girl to suffer in someone’s dirty hands. I thought Minho was just gentle in nature, and caring, and thoughtful, and sweet, and nice, and a lot of things more.

But after hearing those words for him, it feels like I am occupying a special place in his heart, or am I just daydreaming again? Seeing him say those words sincerely and with serious eyes towards me, I feel like I’m not just a “girl in trouble” but also a girl he would love to be with every time.

It’s not that I am assuming anything, but my instinct is pretty good at determining and figuring feelings out.

Oh, scratch that. I just remembered how stupid I am for not even realizing how unfaithful that Dongshin was to me. I can’t justify my strong instinct, nor can I justify the thing Minho has with me. At least give me the right to say it’s different. The thing we have for each other, it’s different. It’s something that is hard to define, but at least I know it’s not something that I thought I was just feeling before.

I looked at my watch, the doctor usually drinks a cup of coffee by this time. I should bring him one at this time.

“Is he picking you up again?” The doctor was busy filing the records into his table and talked without looking at me.

I looked at him and didn’t respond, is he referring to Minho? The doctor looked at me when he realized I was not responding, “The tall handsome guy with round and attractive eyes.” He smiled, “I’m happy you’re not dating the other guy anymore.”

I tilted my head a little because I was confused as to what he was saying. He’s happy I’m not dating Dongshin anymore? Why? Does he know something?

“Not that I have something against your old boyfriend, but seeing such better man around you, I’m happy you chose him over the other. The one from before looked very cold and selfish, he never stopped to say hi to me or even smile.” He motioned his hand asking me to take the seat in front of his table. I followed.

“Unlike the guy who goes with you frequently these days, he never fails to take a peek into my office, smile, and greet me politely. I’m happy with the fact someone has been accompanying you all this time. You need someone to love you, too. At least now you know the feeling of being loved back.”

The doctor’s words struck me out. He doesn’t know anything, but it seems like he does. He has lots of words to say about my relationship with Dongshin and Minho. It’s making me crazy how he says how great it is to feel some love back.

Like really, may I just admit again, being with Minho made me realize that Dongshin didn’t show love to me at all. Dongshin’s treatment won’t even reach one-eight of how Minho is to me, not to mention that the two of us are just “friends” and Dongshin and I had this “relationship” going on for four years.

“But… doctor, we’re not what you think we are.” I admitted.

For over 2 years of being with Dr. Park Tae Jun, he has became my 2^nd father, next to the dad I grew up with that passed away when I was just 18. I may not speak a lot about myself to him, but Dr. Park knows, or at least, feels every feelings that I have. He knows when I’m happy. He knows when I’m sad. He knows when I need him. He knows when to share stories and opinions that I might need.

At least to Dr. Park, I know I’m someone special. That’s for sure.

“It got me confused.” He smiled at me, but I know something was on his mind already. “If it’s not something that I thought of… then are you saying both of you are just friends?” I nodded. “With the way both of you looked at each other?”

I went speechless. He chuckled and shook his head.

“You may think I’m too old to meddle with these things. You won’t also believe how I’m able to say this to you, but Ji Eunnie… I’ve been dealing with people all my life. For almost 60 years, I have met a lot of people, encountering different personality and learning every bit of expression there might be.” He relaxed a bit at his swivel chair, “And I know I have told you about how I majored in Psychology before.”

I know some of the things he did when he was younger. He majored into Psychology before continuing to medicine. He worked as a hired Psychologist for some of the biggest Entertainment Agencies in the country. That’s why even if he’s old, a lot of patient still go to this small clinic to see him.

“I don’t want to dictate your feelings because I know it’s not right, but Ji Eunnie… please bear in mind that 75 percent of the opportunities in our life are just once in lifetime. Those things that would come and just go if you don’t hold into them immediately… they are really hard to take back, and before you know it… those on the line next to you will have it instead, leaving you regretful because you didn’t take it when it was given to you first hand.” He said to me, seriously. “If you have no plans of keeping him, at least know what you feel about him. It’s hard to just realize what you feel when he’s already gone. At least to yourself, be honest and real about what’s going on between the two of you. Take these words like how a father would talk to his daughter. After all, you grew close to me already and I would want the best for you.” He smiled. I nodded, absorbing every bit of words he just said right now.

“Okay… let’s end this today. You may go.” He smiled at me and turned his swivel.

I should at least be honest with myself. For over 2 months that we are together… yes, probably, I started liking him. If it’s before or after the breakup with Dongshin, I don’t know… but I like him, I like him.

It feels really relieving to admit it to myself. I like him. I like him. I like him.

“I like him.” I said it out loud and the doctor heard it. I covered my mouth and looked at the doctor. He was smiling while doing something else. I shyly went out of his office.

Should I go to SHINee’s dorm right now? I promised Minho I’ll go, right? Should I tell him I like him?

Oh, help me… Does he need to know or should I wait for him to say it first?

This is making me crazy.

**END OF POV**