“After you told me about Lena’s condition, I had second thoughts in coming home”

Think of it, once we come back, she will be on her toes once again like she was before with me. I’m sure she’ll heavily protect what’s hers (Jiyong), and will do everything to keep him away from us. Given the crazy things she has done in the past and her being suicidal, she will definitely make a scene. And that, is what I don’t want to happen because as much as I don’t want to involve our kids to it, it can’t be avoided.

Disappointed, he sighed heavily. “To be honest, I’m good with you guys being here at least until I’m done with Big Bang’s tour. It will really be hard for me to work knowing that I have you there around Lena. Though she’s not harmless to others than herself”. I can tell that he’s torn. He badly wants us in Korea but at the same time doesn’t want to, because of possible ‘danger’.

“Also, how are you going to handle the public? Have you thought whether or not you’re going to tell them about the children?” Going public is a tough challenge for him, especially when he’s really a big name in the entertainment industry. Not to mention, the Mother of his children is his best friend. And, he’s married. It will take a lot of thinking before making a move.

Completely thrown out by my questions, all he can do is bow his head down and shrug. Looking up at me, “I’m sure I don’t want to keep our kids a secret” he said, making me smile. “If you’re good to go with me through the negatives after I publicize everything, I won’t think twice and do it without regrets”

I know that I’ll have participation in this and I’m up for it. Thing is, our children will definitely be affected by whatever it might result to. They won’t be as private as they are now. I’m telling you, just by thinking of it, my old fears are coming back, making me feel so vulnerable to bad decisions again.

Not yet ready to commit fully, “We’ll talk about this again some other time. Let’s sleep on it for now” I told him, and he nodded in agreement.

This day is jam packed and I’m all set to wrap it up. I’m trying really hard to not be emotional about Aden anymore, so far so good. It’s comforting to know that he’s already in a good place now, without feeling any pain.

“I’ll just take a cab back to the hotel” Jiyong is preparing to leave already. It’s past midnight. “Manager Hyung got a little drunk coming from the after party, so he cannot pick me up”

Have I complimented him about sacrificing their after party for the sake of the kids? Truly, he’s becoming a certified Father.

“You can sleep here again if you want” I told him.

He chuckled. “Speaking of sleep…” he moved closer to me. “I think we need to get you guys a new bed. The kids are growing. In a few months, the three of you won’t fit in it anymore”

You tell me, Jyong! Our bed is too small for us already. I’m near to sleeping on the couch, actually.

“You still don’t know” I smiled at him and he smiled at me. “They have their own room. They just don’t want to sleep in it”

He finds it cute. “I can sleep there then”

Feeling a little silly, I brought him to the kids’ room. Holding my laughter, “Their beds look comfortable. I’m just not sure if you can fit in them”

The kids’ bed are specially made for children, ten below. It’s small and short. Jiyong will have to curl himself into a little ball if he wants to sleep on one of them.

“Yah!” he yelled. “Are you trying to play me?”

Laughing, “Maybe” I said and laughed even harder.

“I’ll get you, Einstein!” he walked towards me and I speed out of the room. He chased me down the hallway to the living room, to the bedroom. Only a meter away from each other, “Don’t move or else I’ll make a noise. The kids will surely wake up” I threatened him, panting.

“What a child!” he said under his breath.

This is hilarious! Whose parents will play around with their children, sleeping? Well, us!

Once he’s calmed down, I pulled a clean comforter from one of the cabinets and spread it carefully on the floor. “What’s that for?” he asked, sitting on the swivel chair. I didn’t reply, and head out to the living room to get throw pillows on the couch. When I get back, I put the pillows down, arranging it the way Jiyong arranges his pillows at home. “You sleep here instead on the couch. It’s much comfortable. Or, if you want, we can switch. I can sleep here” I pointed down, “And you sleep there with the kids” I pointed at the bed.

Cheeky, he walked towards me, our faces only inches away from each other, “Oh!” he stopped me from moving backwards, pulling me closer to him. “Do you want to sleep together?”

This is a joke. Only a joke. A joke. A joke. A joke. Don’t fall for it.

Pushing him away, I smirked. “You wish!” and he laughed.

In the end, he settled on the floor while I awkwardly lie in bed. Last night, we slept beside each other but I felt not a tinge of awkwardness. He was very comforting.

A few minutes in, I felt tugging on my duvet. I turned around, curious, just to find out that Jiyong is tugging it, smiling sheepishly. I rolled my eyes, “What?” I can’t help but smile at his cuteness. This is the Kwon Jiyong that I know – the childish and silly man that never fails to make my heart flutter.

“Good night!”

Seriously, he bothered me just to say good night?

Plainly, “Good night” I said, and he just stared at me. Once again, I felt my cheeks burn. My breathing is faster. My heart just want to jump out of my chest.

Is this healthy? I clearly know what I feel about him, and I’m not giving much damn to it because it’s not right (at least until he fixed the mess he’s in).

“I’ll be catching you if you fall” he snapped me back to my senses. “You know, if Emma accidentally kicked you off the bed”. I smirked. “I thought you mean if I fall for you all over again” I whispered to myself. “What is it? I cannot hear you clearly” he said, leaning forward, closer to me. I flinched. “Nothing” I said, shaking my head. “Let’s sleep now. It’s already late”

With that, he closed his eyes, smiling wide. He’s still playing around, while I’m starting to be bugged by my heart.

I found myself staring at him even in the dark. I feel like tracing his face with my finger, I’m just controlling myself. You don’t know how happy he makes me. For the first time in YEARS, I’m fully contented of what I have. I’m at peace.

“Hmm…” Wait. Why does it smell like something is burning?

*smoke detector alarming*

“!” Both Jiyong and I were alarmed. Half awake, wee rushed out of the bedroom and ran to the kitchen.

“Mom! Daddy!” The kids ran to us, afraid. “What happened?” I’m panicking. I touched them, making sure they’re not hurt or bleeding. Jiyong hurriedly checked what’s going on, fanning the smoke using a hand towel. “Get the kids out of here. They might inhale too much smoke” he told me, and I obeyed right away.

Back in our room, I made the kids sit on the bed. I checked them thoroughly, looking for burns, and even used a stethoscope to check their breathing. “What did you two do?” I asked, after the check-up. They looked at each other nervously. “We…just want to make breakfast for you and Daddy” Ethan speak out. And Emma just nodded. “We put in two eggs in the microwave. I don’t know what happened, but it just smoked and smelled like it’s burning”

How can I get mad when what they did, even when wrong, is very touching? This isn’t the first time they tried making breakfast. It happened when I wasn’t feeling well. Ethan wanted to make me feel better, so he asked help from Emma to get things done. The difference now and then is, they didn’t attempt to use the microwave. They just gave me an apple, a pear, and strawberries, messily on a tray.

“Kids” I kneel on the floor to meet eye level. “Your intention is good. Thing is, you shouldn’t use any kitchen appliance without guidance. They’re complicated to use and dangerous. Also…” I chuckled, making them chuckle as well, “You don’t cook eggs in the microwave”

Emma perked up, “At least now we know” she cutely said, making her Brother laugh.

Jiyong came back after half an hour. It’s just now that I noticed, he’s not wearing a shirt. Typical of him when sleeping. My eyes automatically landed on his body when he came closer. My cheeks feel hot. TOO HOT.

Areum! Snap out!

“The microwave broke” he said, my eyes still not on his face. “Areumie!” he called out.

 I flinched, “Huh?”

“The microwave broke. I opened it and there are egg shells everywhere” he said and all I can do is nod. I’m not yet in my element. Darn! He’s shirtless!

“Mom knows, Daddy” Emma told him as if it’s no big deal.

Jiyong sat beside them. With a heavy sigh, “What are you trying to do anyway?” I can see worry all over his face. Who wouldn’t be worried? The house might’ve been on fire already. “We just want to prepare breakfast for you and Mom” Ethan feels sorry. I know that he learned his lesson and will never dare to do it again. Pulling our son to him and hugging him. “Thank you for that, Little Man” Jiyong tapped the tip of his nose, “But next time, no cooking”

“Do you want to wear your shirt?” I am holding it while standing in front of him. The kids are in the living room already, watching television.

For some reason, he laughed. It made me curious. “Yah!”

“I grow some muscles, huh?” he asked, obviously fooling around.

I rolled my eyes. “You’re buffer”

“Like it?”

He’s really playing me. Nonchalantly, “I prefer your body before” I said, pulling him up the bed so that I can tidy it up. Watching me from behind, “From the way you stared at my body a while ago, I can say that you definitely like it”

In disbelief, more like in denial, I turned to him, arms crossed across my chest. “First, I didn’t stare at your body. Second, you don’t really fit being muscular. I say, leave it to Youngbae and Daesung, they pull it off better than you”

Ha! Get that!

Not backing out, Jiyong moved forward, closer to me. One step back and I’ll fall back flat on the bed. “Yah!” I put my hand in front of me, ready to push him away. “I’m just being honest, you know” I dumbly stepped back, causing me to fall on the bed. “Jiyong-ah!” I yelled when he’s starting to crawl on top of me. “Yah!”

I don’t know what he’s thinking, but he’s pure crazy. He carefully crawled on top of me, keeping me in place with his arms. My head is beginning to swoon. I’m telling you, this is too much for my sanity.

Our faces are just inches away from each other. I can feel his breath on my face and for the very first time in years, I was able to stare close at his beautiful eyes again. is strong, I won’t deny that, and it’s what’s driving me nuts. This is not right.

“I miss pissing you off”.  Finally, he got off me and burst out laughing, while I’m motionless in bed. As I’ve said, it was too much for me. “I’ll prepare breakfast now” he said, while wearing his shirt then walked out without looking back.

Nice, Jiyong! You just shook my whole being. Good thing I was able to control myself. If not, you will have a taste of your own medicine. A medicine you’ll like but we’ll regret in the end.

No. I’m serious. I’m this close (-) to kissing him, and I don’t care if he has a wife.

It took me some time to get over my thoughts, and when I went out of the room, the three of them are munching on celery sticks and dino biscuits while watching cartoons. My heart melted at the sweet sight. I’m once again in awe that they’re together already.

“Lovely breakfast” I grabbed a handful of dino biscuits from the glass bowl on the center table and squeezed beside Ethan on the couch. Jiyong tossed a yogurt drink to me. My reflexes are quite good this morning, I was able to catch it. “They told me not to cook anymore” he said. I sighed. “These two are surely happy because they get to eat in front of the television. Normally, I don’t let them have their meals here in the living room”

Call me boring or old school, but this is how my parents brought me up. Though I didn’t follow it back when I was in college until four years ago, I want my kids to get used to it because it’s proper manners.

Since it’s Saturday, we can bum around. I haven’t planned a day out with so many things in my head these past few days, so we’ll pass on it this weekend.

“What do you feel like doing today?” I am sweeping the floor and the three of them are still glued on the television. They’re having a Spongebob marathon, while I do the chores because I’m not into it. The child in Jiyong came out, causing him to join the kids in the frenzy.

“I want to fly a kite, Mom” Ethan, as expected, is still communicative. The other two, well, they’re completely hypnotized by the talking yellow sponge. “Alright!” I walked to the center, grabbed the remote and heartlessly turned off the television. “Uh. No-no” I stopped Emma from opening it again. “Open it and I’m going to plug it out”

Based on how Jiyong looked at me, I can tell that he’s annoyed and I don’t give a damn.

Already on it, I stood in front of them confidently. “Today is family day. Not Spongebob marathon day” I started, receiving a smirk from Jiyong that I fired back with a glare. “I asked you guys what do you feel like doing and only Ethan answered. He said, he wants to fly a kite, so…” I clasped my hands “We’re going to make kites then fly them later!” I finished cheerfully.

Jiyong and Emma looked at each other. They are not thrilled by it, but for sure they’ll enjoy later. Actually, the kids hasn’t tried flying kites yet. They just watch other kids fly them at the park.

Eager to push through with our kite flying activity, I gave them everything they need to make a kite. We even watched a video on how to do it. Neither Jiyong nor I have made one, which is the most exciting part because we’ll learn it together with our kids.

“This is too heavy Mom” Ethan and I are a team and we’re all set to beat the Father-Daughter tandem. “We should just stick with a typical shape kite. Mickey Mouse head is not a good idea. It won’t fly”. Upon hearing this, Jiyong cracked up in laughter. He and Emma are not doing that well too. He has been figuring out how to make it cool.

“Done! Done! Done!” Emma rejoiced as she proudly hold the pink kite they made. It’s too pink for Jiyong’s soul. “It’s beautiful, Daddy!” she looked so excited. As for Ethan and I, we struggled finishing ours. It’s too heavy, I doubt it will even make it flying for a second.

“I don’t know why, but I suddenly feel tired” Jiyong dropped himself on the long couch after being on the floor for almost two hours. “Making a kite is exhausting”. My best friend is really back. The way he complains is always cute to me. What’s funny is, even when he complains he still get things done.

After lunch, we convinced the kids to take a nap first before going to the park. They are a little cranky anyway, especially Emma, an energy booster is badly needed.

“Aren’t they looking for you?” I am with Jiyong in the dining room, eating snacks. I just made him eat the sourest candy there is and he’s not happy about it. He’s salivating. “The boys are off touring around the city. They are enjoying themselves without me” he answered, still enduring sourness in his mouth. I chuckled. “Invite them here for dinner”. This is a sudden thought, but I think it’s great. The last time I’m with them we weren’t able to catch up that much.

Jiyong seemed hesitant. He sighed. “Alright! I’ll tell them”. YAY! “But…wait…” he leaned forward, looking straight at me. “Are you cooking?”

Ha! This man is doubting my ability. I’ll show him. Filled up with confidence, “I will cook a five course meal”. He smirked. It somehow hit a nerve. He’s challenging me. “Just wait and see” I said and walked out, leaving him, realizing that I might’ve bitten more than I can chew.

“I need back up!” I told Cara the moment she picked up my call. My dear friend is a good home cook. I can attest to that. “Back up? Elle, what are you up to this time?” She might be thinking of the many random things I made her do in the past. Hiding in the bathroom, “Help me prepare dinner, please”. I cannot believe that I’m begging, but I’m desperate. Failing is the last thing on my mind.

Cara laughed. “Are you going to cook for your ex?”

I sighed. “For him and for his crew” I answered with a sigh. To my surprise, she squealed ear-ripping loud. “So…you’re in good terms again? Like for real in good terms not just civil?” Cara’s enthusiasm went up a hundredth notch. “Yes. I can say that we are somewhat back to normal already. Though there are times when we both feel awkward, still”

Cara and I talked for a good half hour, planning what to cook. She’s so excited that she can’t wait to start already, while I’m so nervous because I want to do a great job. “Don’t worry about the ingredients. I’m going to buy it all for you. After all, the grocery store is on the way. Don’t worry about a thing Elle, this’ll work out”. It made me loosen up a bit. Good thing, Cara’s husband is willing to babysit their three kids until she gets home.

“Mom!”

“Oh my!” I jumped out in shock, hitting my back on the door.

“Omo!” Jiyong is late in catching me. “Aigoo” he helped me to bed, “Are you in pain?” he asked, worried.

“Mom, we’re sorry” Ethan crawled beside me and hugged me. Emma is standing behind me. “We don’t mean to get you hurt Mom” she sweetly wrapped her arms around my neck.

“Actually” Jiyong moved closer. His hand snaking on my lower back, making me blush. “I’m the root of it. I told them to do it”

I swear, my blood is boiling, but I can’t be mad. Not when he’s gently massaging my back. “Do you want a massage?” he asked, smiling. I smiled back sarcastically. “Aren’t you massaging me already?”

He smiled wider. “I’ll massage you better”. Suave, very suave.

The kids got jumpy all of a sudden. “That’s perfect, Daddy!”

Smiling widely, Jiyong moved to the side to give me space to lie on my stomach. “What do you want me to use?” he is obviously playing around. I know him too well to tell. “Lotion? Oil?”

I am in a sticky situation that I really don’t want to be in, but for some strange reason, I kind of like the tease. Getting my senses back and pushing aside the strong , I pushed myself up, “You know, I’m fine. My back’s not hurting anymore”

With a smirk, Jiyong turned to the kids who are now on the floor, playing. “Guys, Mom doesn’t want a massage, and is lying by saying that her back doesn’t hurt anymore”

I hit his stomach, “What are you doing?”

“Ouch!” he yelped in perfect exaggeration, alarming the kids.

“Daddy!” they rushed to him, worried. “What happened?” Ethan is in panic, and I feel guilty all of a sudden. “Mom, Daddy is in pain” our son is near to tears.

Feeling bad, “I hit him on the stomach” I come out clean. There’s no way I can slither out anyway.

“Mom!” they exclaimed.

Nice one, Kwon Jiyong! You just made me look bad in front of our children.

“I’m fine guys” he caressed their cheeks and they gave him a still worried smile.

Emma stood in front of me with a serious look on her face. Her hand on her hips. “Mom!” she’s using the tone I use on them whenever I call them out. “Apologize to Daddy”

Funny, but I really feel guilty. “I’m sorry” I told Jiyong sincerely. As a parent, I have to do what I preach. I always tell the kids that they shouldn’t be afraid to apologize.

“Daddy, if you forgive Mom already, say apology accepted Elle, then give her a kiss and a hug”. Emma is imposing my rules on me. I cannot believe it!

Jiyong and I looked at each other. He is teasing me again with his cheeky smile. “Apology accepted, Elle” he said, looking like a victim who is humbly forgiving the person who did him wrong.

“Kiss and hug now” Ethan grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me close to their Father. I’m out of words. What’s with today?

“I’ll do it” Jiyong said, closing the gap between us.

“They’re going to kiss on the lips Ethan” Emma whispered, but still loud for us to hear.

“Yah!” Jiyong’s face is right in front of me. I have a strong feeling that he is going to tease the kids again by acting like he’s going to kiss me on the lips when he’s really not going to. “Don’t you….”

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Oh ! What just happened?

“Daddy and Mom, kissing on a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”

My heart. My mind. My body. My soul. I can’t feel any of them. I am flabbergasted. I cannot define what I’m feeling. All I know is that he kissed me and I can still feel his lips on mine even when it’s already been away seconds ago.

“Okay!” Jiyong crawled out of bed as if nothing happened. This man, seriously. “Let’s leave Mom alone for a while. She needs to rest her back for it not to hurt”. He looked at me and winked, making me more nuts. “Or…we can go to the park and fly kites already!”

Upon hearing that, the kids speed out of the room, excited of their new activity. It’s supposed to be a family thing, but because I’m still too startled to function, I let Jiyong take them to the park, while I ponder on what just happened.

“I’m on my way now” Cara called in the middle of my day dreaming. It’s been half an hour and I’m still in bed, staring at the ceiling, replaying our first kiss in years, over and over again. I almost forgot that I have a dinner to prepare.

And because I have to be on my best cook mode, I set aside my thoughts, focusing myself on my big task. I need to ace this dinner. I will prove to Jiyong that I’ve grown in so many ways, especially in cooking.

Smiling widely, Cara moved closer and with narrow eyes, she said, “Tell me, are you two in the works of getting back together again?”

In a flash, “No!” I smirked and started pulling out the groceries. “You know he’s married” I told her. She helped me, “Yes, but according to Aden, they are good as strangers”. Facing her, “But still, they’re husband and wife” I countered “Also, we are weighing each other still. I can say that he has already forgiven me, but it’s not easy to bring back the bond, even the attachment!”

We dropped our conversation after that and started making wonders in the kitchen. I must admit, Cara is going to do most of the major stuff. Well, at least I have participation.

“You’re crazy for even thinking that a five course meal is total isanity” she’s chopping the chicken, while I start making the dessert. Carefully measuring everything, “Jiyong knows so well that I cannot cook. I just want to show him that I can now, and that I can pull off a dreamy meal”. I may sound confident, but honestly, I doubt if we can even finish our planned menu on time.

In disbelief, “We are cooking for world renowned superstars! How cool is that?” Cara is over the moon. “When I told Blake about this, he knows he can’t say no”

It made me laugh. “Good thing he’s willing to babysit the kids”. She hissed. “I’m telling you, I can picture what’s going on in our house right this very minute”. I laughed loudly, “What do you know? Maybe your boys are just watching TV” I told her, and she looked at me, hopeful. “How I wish”

Having someone to help is really a big deal. If I’m going to do this alone, it’ll take me forever to finish. This is what’s good in having friends, you will never run out of hands to help you.

“MOM! MOM! MOM!” Ethan came running in.

“Hmmm?”

“Daddy and Emma got into an accident! Daddy is bleeding!”

                                                                                                                                                        ****