JIYONG

Nearly four years has passed and I still wake up thinking of them. How are they? What do they look? Are they well? Although I don’t know where they are, my heart and mind is with them.

I never said her name after they disappeared. I hated her for a while. But, my love never faded. I miss my son every day and every night. My family grieved as if we lost them forever. Omma got depressed that she doesn’t want to eat and just keep on looking for them. The memory of the day when they disappeared is still fresh in our minds, and I strongly believe that it’ll stay forever.

The morning after my wedding, I head straight to her apartment. I decided to cool the night away, for I know that nothing good will happen if I followed her out of the hotel and tried talking things out. I regret that decision though. So yeah, I barged in to an empty place. I headed to the hospital, thinking that maybe she’s already at work, but her assistant said that she has filed a resignation just a few hours ago that shocked not only them, but me as well. Feeling nervous and worried, I went to the Day Care and found out that Yong isn’t there. With that, I had a feeling that she’s trying to run away. So, I asked help from one of her closest friends, Dr. Nam, hoping that she knows her whereabouts, just to find out that she knows nothing too. According to her, the last time she heard of her is a few days ago when she called her office for something important. Unfortunately, Dr. Nam wasn’t able to get back to her because of her busy schedule. And then, I rushed back again to the hospital where she’s working. This time, to talk to Dr. Miller, but my mind was wrecked when his assistant also told me that he has filed a resignation, almost around the same time she did. That’s when I started figuring things out. Maybe he is the one helping her to run away. Where they are going or are they even together? I don’t know. I’m too angry to think deep.

On my way out of the hospital, I bumped into her OBGYN, Dr. Lim. Out of desperation, I asked her if she has seen her. “The last time is when she had an ultrasound” she said, and it build up confusion. So, I asked what it is about. “She’s pregnant again” she answered. And that, made me go insane. I’m sure that, that baby is mine, and there is no other to be mistaken of. I cannot believe that she’s running away with my children. It’s so unfair.

From that day until today, I’m still wondering where she brought our children. I asked for help and used connections just to track them, but no one can tell me where they are. I tried contacting Dr. Miller, even had him investigated, just to lead me nowhere. I spent a year going here and there and still went home alone. I even decided to drop work and focus in looking for them that brought me into a depression. If not for my family, friends, the Big Bang members and the rest of the YG family, I wouldn’t pull out.

There’s no time and day that I didn’t worry about them. That I didn’t wonder, what our second child is. Is it another boy or is it a girl? What does he/she looks like? If it’s a girl I want her to be her Mother’s ‘mine me’. And if it’s another boy, I hope Yong guides him like what big brothers usually do. I pray every day that they take care of each other and love their Mother unconditionally.

“Why did you do that?” Noona asked after I told her about transferring Yong’s savings account to his Mother.

I sighed and sit back. “I don’t know. I just woke up feeling like I have to do it”

She sighed heavily. “Knowing Areumie, she wouldn’t touch that money even when she badly needs it”

I smirked. “I don’t care what she do with it”

“Wherever they are I’m sure they’re living well. She’s smart, Jiyongie. She can make a living out of pure intellect” she stared at me, as if waiting for a big reaction.

I hissed. “She better give my children a good life or else I’m going to put her in jail for taking them without my knowledge”. I sounded so cold.

Noona leaned forward and gave me a whack on the head. “Yah! Areumie is Areumie. You can be mad at her all you want, but don’t make her life a living hell. She has reasons for running away. Until we know what that is, we cannot judge her”

I don’t know why, but my family didn’t even get angry at her for what she did. They were just sad of her sudden disappearance.

Before when we haven’t risked our friendship for love yet, I always think that none of us would make rash decisions that will ruin our lives. Funny, but that’s what happened. Just because of love, we were ripped in pieces. If only we know better.

“I wonder what Yong looks like now. I’m wishing he grows up still looking like you. This way, it would be easy to spot him if ever he goes back here to Korea or if I happen to go to the place where they’re at” Noona is once again being sentimental. Talking about her nephew always get her, while I pretend to be cool about it. “He’s turning five in a few months”

Plainly, “I’m sure he can walk and talk now” I said.

She rolled her eyes at me. “And the other kid, I hope is a girl. Areumie must be so happy and is surely having a blast for she finally have a human doll that she can dress up and relate about”

How did we get into this conversation? Isn’t Noona supposed to be talking about our joint business? Why am I engaging to it when I’ve always shut myself in these times?

Snapping out of it the way I usually do, “Can we talk business now? This is ruining my mood” I told her, and she scowled at me.

My family understands why I’m so sensitive when it comes to my ‘estranged family’. I just don’t want to be all emotional again. As much as possible, I’m trying to give people the vibe that I’ve already moved on, because if I continue being sad and miserable, they will pity me, and I hate that.

“Where’s your wife?” Noona is still out of topic. She’s really good in not sticking with the adgenda.

“She’s in Jeju” I answered lamely.

She smirked. “Ever since her Mother moved here to Korea, she’s always with her. I thought she hates being around her?”

Two years ago, my Mother in-law got divorced, AGAIN, and have decided to move here to Korea to be with her daughter. However, Seoul is too busy for her, so she moved to Jeju Island where life is not as fast as in the city. As for Lena, after getting married and living here, her career became salty. She’s not booking as much as does, but she definitely used my name to get into a new level in the social circle. She doesn’t mind being labeled as G-dragon’s wife even when she strongly told me before that she will keep her individuality. And because she’s got nothing to do and I don’t want her to get bored, I gave her Monsant in Jeju Island to manage. Right off, she slacked off. Employees hates her to the point that they don’t listen to her at all. When her Mother came around, she gave up her position to her even when I really don’t like it. I don’t know, but it just doesn’t feel right. Thing is, I’m too occupied to get into it, so I just let them be. As long as they’re not making my business fall, I’m good with it.

As for my marriage, Lena and I are as civil as we can be. We still don’t meet eye to eye most of the time. Intimacy is rare that sometimes I feel like we’re just doing it to satisfy our needs and nothing more than that. I do care for her, and I want to believe that she cares for me too. But, I still cannot bring myself to love her as much as I love my ex-girlfriend/best friend.

Breaking news: Lena knows of my children. I told her about them months after they disappeared. Noona doesn’t want me to, but I really think that Lena has to know. She deserves to know.

Of course, she cannot believe it. She’s even more insecure of my children’s Mother more than ever, but the fact that I don’t know where they are is giving her comfort. If ever I find them, I’m sure she will be a challenge.

“When is she coming back?” Noona asked.

Well, my sister and Lena are not close at all. They would talk once in a while, but never hangout. Noona said that Lena is too consuming for her and she feels like they will just clash if they stay long together.

I take a sip of wine and swallowed hard. “Next week. I told her to be sure to come home before I leave”

Good news! BIG BANG IS BACK! Yes, we are, and the gang is complete. The maknaes are out of the military, with Seungri fresh off. He is actually asking for some time to rest and unwind, but we convinced him that it’s not needed. We are now in the middle of our Big Bang is back world tour with no new songs, but has filled arenas all over Asia already. Our next stop is America and Europe.

“Where are you guys going this time?” Noona asked, while munching on a muffin.

I sit up straight and also got a piece. “Chicago and New York”

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