Can somebody tell me this is a prank?

Shocked, “Really?” I asked, frozen in place.

Ms. Im giggled, “Yes! As a matter of fact, they’re already here. All five of them!”

That’s it! I suddenly feel nervous. What worsened it is the thought of Ethan’s dream.

No! That’s just a dream, not a warning. It wouldn’t happen.

Extremely cautious, I told the kids to go home already. I told Ms. Im that I’m not sure if I can make it to the concert and she’s telling me to try because it can only happen once in a blue moon, and that I’m going to enjoy myself, guaranteed, because the show is going to be nothing but wonderful.

Absolutely! It’s going to be really one heck of a show. It’s Big Bang we’re talking about here. Those guys never give lame shows, it’s always a party. And if you think that at their age the fun will lessen and the charisma won’t be there anymore, better think again, because they won’t get back together and be on stage if they think they don’t have what it takes anymore (this is what the boys agreed to before they went to the military. That if there’s no spark from the group anymore, they wouldn’t continue).

“Mom, can we go to Maddy and Caden’s? Ms. Thompson said she made cookies and if we want, we can go there to have some” Emma is still hyped from playing for hours. She’s only been at home for thirty minutes and is still playing. This time, with Ethan’s cars and her Barbie dolls.

And because I need to talk to Aden to somewhat be enlightened, I let the kids stay at our neighbors, while I’m at his house. If there’s one person who can at least calm me down, it’s him, who I’m sure is going to be as shocked as I am that Jiyong is just around somewhere.

As I walk in Aden’s house, I feel as if something’s not right. I don’t know if it’s the silence, but something seems off.

“Ms. Yoon” his nurse was surprised to see me.

“Hi!” I greeted. “Where is he?”

She sighed heavily. From there I know that there’s bad news. “It’s not a good day for Mr. Miller. He’s been dealing with headache, shortness of breath and vomiting since this morning”

This is the life with a serious illness. You never know when it’ll kick in. You never know when it spares you. All you can do is go with it, or do what’s necessary, that is to go to the hospital and have yourself fixed.

“Have you called Dr. Stanford?” I asked, while we’re heading to his room.

“Yes. He advised to bring him to the hospital to be checked. But, Mr. Miller doesn’t want to. He said he can handle it on his own”.

And I stopped on my track and just stared at her. I couldn’t believe that Aden is still being so stubborn when he’s already suffering. Actually, this is the dilemma of most Doctors. Given that we know what to do when something hits us, we refuse to be checked by another Doctor. Well, it depends on the situation.

I don’t know what to do anymore. It seems like Aden has really given up on himself already, which is not the case when this illness first hit him. During that time, even when depressed, he fights, but now he just wait until his heart stops beating and he stops breathing.

He’s watching TV when I walked in his room. I can tell that he’s had a rough day because he looked tired. His nurse also told me that he hasn’t eaten that much.

“What am I going to do with you?” I asked, walking towards the cabinet where his medical tools are.

One thing I’m so thankful for, is that I can check on him. Because even when I’m a Pediatrician, I know what’s going on in an adult’s body.

With a sigh, “Nothing” he replied.

I started taking his blood pressure. He willingly gave me his arm. “I heard you’re advised to go to the hospital”

“Where are the kids?” he asked, totally ignoring what I’m saying.

I rolled my eyes. “I’ll call Dr. Stanford and tell him we’re coming. Your blood pressure is high. How bad is your headache now?” I asked, using the tone of a Doctor.

He sighed. “Are they at the Thompsons?”

See how he ignores me? This is normal. This is his way of telling me, ‘Shut up! I don’t want to go! Let me be!’

And because he doesn’t really want to be brought to the hospital, I didn’t force him anymore. Based from the check that I did, aside from his blood pressure, everything seemed good. I will watch him closely, and if by any chance I see that he’s not getting any better, I will drag him out of his house with my bare hands to the hospital.

It took me a while to remember the reason why I rushed to him. I started telling him about Ethan’s dream, which he think is hilarious until I told him about Big Bang having a concert here. Drag is, his reaction to it is not what I expected, because instead of being alarmed, he’s just calm.

“It seems like fate is bringing you closer this time” he stared at me with a weak smile on his face.

I hissed. “I’m not ready for this”

He chuckled. “Elle, I don’t think you’ll be ready even after a decade or a century”, then he pulled himself up to sit. “Look, this is your chance to clear lines. God has brought you closer again. Maybe he’s telling you to get into it, take this opportunity, so that you can at least live a better life” he reached for my hand and squeezed it weakly, “A life that includes your past. You know what I mean”

Still hesitant, “Chicago is big. Really! There’ll only be a small chance for our paths to cross”. This is my way of comforting myself.

There are thousands of people living here. There are so many places they can stay at that are far from where we are. I will totally go crazy if Jiyong and I see each other even with these circumstances.

“It will be really nice if he finally see his children” Aden breaks the silence. “I mean, he surely misses Ethan, and though he’s definitely going to be shocked that he has Emma, I’m sure he’ll love her right off, especially when she looks so much like him, just with long hair”. He squeezed my hand again, and I looked straight at him. “Elle, don’t hide from him anymore. If your paths cross, don’t run away. You’ve already gone far beyond. It’s really time for you to stop and just stay on your track”

This is hard. Staying is hard, especially when I don’t know what’s ahead of me.

If Jiyong and I see each other, I’m sure it’s going to be one heck of a reunion. He must hate me so much, to the point of cursing me to rot in hell. Though I know he’s not that kind of person, but I caused him too much pain, and pain really changes people. Also, I’m not prepared of what might happen. If he decides to file for custody, he has a huge chance of winning, for there are grounds that I broke, like keeping our children from him and running away with them. Losing my kids will be the end of me. That’s why, I’m willing to do even the most ridiculous and wrong just to keep them.

“I keep wondering….” Aden smiled “How are you going to react once you see him? What are you going to feel? How is he going to react once he learns that I’m your accomplice?”

Actually, I have the same questions running in my head.

I chuckled. “I’m sure I’ll freeze in front of him with my eyes big and heart almost going out of my chest. I won’t be able to talk” I started. “As to what I might feel? I guess I’m going to feel guilty for hurting him so much, for ing his life up, for keeping his children. I have a strong feeling that we’ll be total strangers” and I laughed, “I don’t know anything about him now and he doesn’t know about me. I’m afraid he’ll not like the new me”

Aden smirked. “Elle, yes, you are a new person and you’re allowed to be. But, you’re still you. You just tweaked yourself the best you can and it’s working really well. It might take a while for Jiyong to get used to it, but his heart will definitely recognize the woman he loved in the past and not the woman it turned out to be now”

You know what? Sometimes, I think, if I didn’t give him up to Lena, maybe our lives are ten times better. For years, I’ve set aside my past and didn’t even dare to think about it. I’ve lived as if everything is fine when truth is, a huge part of me isn’t.

“Before I die, I want to apologize to him for stealing his family”. Aden is once again talking about death and it’s scaring me more. This isn’t his first time to tell me that he wants to apologize to Jiyong. “I know I should’ve not done it, but I’m glad I did” he said with a faint smile, “Because I gave you another life. The life that I know you badly needed at that time”

I can never be thankful enough to him. He just did what he’s asked to do. Once again, I’m the one who’s wrong. He shouldn’t be burdened by it.

“You done nothing wrong” I cupped his cheek and felt bones. “You’re just caught up”

He chuckled. “I freakin’ am. But, if I have to do it again, I will”

Kind hearts always shine. All I pray is for extended time. I want to do something good to Aden. Something I know he’ll be so happy about before his body gives up on him.

“Hey” I poked his arm, making him look at me. “If there’s one thing you want to do before…you….”

“Die” he continued and I nodded.

“What would it be?” I asked.

He looked far and sighed. “Talk to Charlotte and reminisce our past. Those times are my happiest, aside from my experiences with you”

Charlotte is his one and only ex-girlfriend. She’s the girl he let go to let her do the things she wanted to do. Believe it or not, he’s still in love with her, and he realized it when loving me doesn’t feel like when he’s loving her.

I picked the kids up at the Thompsons and went home thinking of what I should do to make Aden’s wish come true. I truly want to make him happy. I even set aside thoughts of Jiyong for a while.

“I’m here!” Cara, one of our good friends, arrived after I called her over. She’s living near the school I’m working at.

The kids went wild seeing her. She played with them for a while before joining me in the living room where I prepared a bowl of fruits and biscuits for her.

“He’s getting worst” I told her, after she asked me how Aden is doing.

Tears flowed down her cheeks right after that. It’s really hard to accept that the person, always so bubbly and kind, and strong is nearly losing life. 

“He wants to talk to Charlotte” I said.

And she just stared at me. After a while, “But she doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore. Remember the last time they saw each other? She ignored him like he’s not there at all”, then she sighed, “Oh well, it’s been years. We can try asking her a favor”

I snapped. “That’s it! It’s been years! I’m sure what happened is a thing of the past already”

Cara laughed. “Elle, let me ask you….” she leaned forward and looked straight at me. “Is the Father of your children and everything that happened between the two of you already in the past?”

What the heck!

I rolled my eyes. “This isn’t about me”

She smirked. “Aden and Charlotte goes a long way. Their story is similar to yours, minus the children. You haven’t gotten over him and your relationship. Do you think Charlotte has gotten over hers? You see, even though she’s the one at fault, in her mind, Aden is to blame, for he let her free when truth is, all she wants is attention”

So it’s going to be hard for this wish to be granted. Oh well, it is what it is. I will not stop from here. I will look for Charlotte, who I believe is just near us and I will bug her (if needed) to at least give Aden a few minutes.

My day ended with my head full. I even think that I won’t be able to sleep. Good thing, I did, for I have a long day ahead once I wake up.

“Aunt Cara will be here soon” I told the kids, early morning.

It’s a Saturday. I don’t have work and they don’t have school. They’re actually disappointed because I can’t take them out today. Fortunately, Cara is free to babysit and even made a promise to bring them to the jungle gym.

Emma walked towards me while I’m putting make-up on. “Mom, do you really have to leave? Can you just not go?”

Feeling really bad, “As much as I want to spend the whole day with you and Ethan, I can’t. Mom’s got something important to do”

She pouted. “Can you promise to be home before bed time?”

Smiling, I nodded and raised my right hand. “I promise”, and she me hugged me tightly.

                                                                                                                                                 ~~~~

JIYONG

“Hyung! I’m telling you, the kid I saw coming in the restaurant, looks so much like you when you’re young. It gave me goosebumps” Seungri keeps on bugging me.

Youngbae smirked. “Nice!”

My face is generic. I got look a-likes everywhere.

Upon reaching the hotel, my mind is on work mode. I’m going to lock myself in my room and write a song that is long due. Hyun Suk Hyung asked me to write for Lee hi, and it’s been three months since. Now that I have a lot of time in my hands, I can definitely make something for sure.

“Wait!” TOP Hyung grabbed me by the arm and pointed at the reception. “Isn’t that Areum?”

                                                                                                                                                   ****