Sweetest memories sticks well in our heads.

Have you ever been in a dilemma wherein your mind is saying no but your body is saying yes? I’m telling you, it’s hard, if not impossible, to deal with.

I just did one of the greatest sins ever can be committed. That is, to be the ‘other girl’. Not in my wildest dreams have I thought I’ll be one, for I believe in the saying, “Don’t do unto others what you don’t want to do unto you”. Drag is, I already did, and karma will surely bite my bad for it.

Passion well spent, we lay on the carpet. He got his way to me after I made Yong sleep. As much as I hate to give in, I just let things happen. After all, my happiness and sanity is on the line.

“I remember how easy the days were with you” he said.

Hugging him with my head on his chest, “Glory days” I said, making him chuckle.

“I don’t know, but these past few days, I suddenly forgot how I lived without you for so long”

I looked up at him. “Three months is not that long” I told him.

He sighed. “For me a week is equivalent to a year. No talking. No nothing from you. It killed me out there”

“You have Lena”. I’m one piece of for even bringing her up.

“Yeah. She’s a lot of fun at times, but she’s not you”

This statement is making my head swoon. It’s the last thing I want to hear from him.

“Why can’t you just love her?” I asked out of curiosity.

He take a deep breath and exhaled heavily. “I tried to. Thing is, I’m forcing myself. Unlike with you, I’m not forced to love you. I choose to”

Forcing yourself to do something, . It can even get the best out of you, what more forcing yourself to love somebody? Truthfully speaking, there are people who are forced to love and finds true love in it. Maybe it’s really possible to develop feelings for somebody you never imagined to be with at all. It sure is hard. But, when you’re totally trying and nothing is happening, I think there’s no chance in it.

“I wish you still want me in your life” I told him, almost in a whisper.

Suddenly, it hits me. I have to save Jiyong from hurting and hurting someone much further. If yesterday I chose not to tell him to leave Lena, now, I’m going to make him do it. The girl deserves the truth early on.

Jiyong smiled through half closed eyes and kissed my temple. “There’s no one I want more”

“Leave her”. Saying these two words is difficult because I feel like I’m crushing someone’s heart using my bare hands.

He sighed. “I will”, then he looked at me, eyes smiling. “Does this mean you’re going back to me?”

There’s just no way I’m depriving myself of love once again. Yes, hearts will surely break with this, but I’m not sure if I can torture myself more.

Smiling widely, I propped up and nodded. Next thing I know it, Jiyong and I are making love again, on the carpet, in the living room, at two in the morning.

“Oh!” I was awakened by Yong’s loud crying. The clock reads nine. No wonder my son is already awake. Beside me, Jiyong is on his stomach, half , snoring away. Last night’s naughty fun got me hard, that my body is aching all over.

My job as a Mother started roughly. Yong is cranky. Not to mention, I lack sleep, so more or less I’ll be on the same boat as him in a while.

“Aigoo” Jiyong came to the rescue, after almost half an hour of meltdown. He immediately got Yong from me and cooed him the best way he know how.

“I feel so tired” I dropped myself on the bed and cherished it. The carpet is not comfortable at all.

He looked down at me, smiling. “Let’s go to the pension after breakfast”

“And what?” I asked, sitting up. “Disturb the business because ‘The Great GD’ is there?” I joked.

Jiyong pinched my cheek so hard, it felt numb. “Omma and Appa will surely be happy Yong is there. We, on the other hand, can rest”

Good stuff. Thing is, I’m planning a critical surgery and studying for it as well. I’m supposed to start with it yesterday, but with everything that has happened, there’s no time for it.

“You can do all of that there” he said.

I handed him Yong’s sippy cup. “All right”, and prepared the table for breakfast.

Afternoon, we arrived at Dolce Vita. Omma and Appa are elated, for they have Yong again. The moment they saw him, their faces lit up.

“Omo! That’s a lot!” Omma gasped when I showed her the boxes of fruits Jiyong and I bought for them.

I smiled at her. “We can give some to the guests”

After lunch, I decided to sleep, with Yong in the care of Jiyong. They are swimming and my son is in bliss. It’s only his second time and he’s enjoying himself. Good luck to Jiyong, because Yong is a handful in the water.

“Hmm…” I stretched out and was surprised that it’s already dark outside. When I went for a nap, it’s still bright. It seems like I’m really tired from last night.

“Where are you going?”

I jumped in shock. With my hand on my chest, I turned to the couch and saw Jiyong, watching TV.

“Yah!” I yelled. “I nearly had a heart attack!”

He laughed. “Aigoo. Yaaaa….look at your bloated face….your puffy eyes….so cute!”

It made me sigh. “Signs that I overslept” I told him, making him nod.

“As a matter of fact, I was alarmed when you didn’t wake up after a couple of hours. I even checked if you’re still breathing. You were knocked out, my Love” he smiled sweetly, while staring at me.

Jiyong sure saw me blushing after hearing him call me ‘Love’. It turned my stomach in knots. My heart skipped a beat and I’m holding back a smile.

“You like that” he walked towards me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

My nerves shoot up all of a sudden. Omma and Appa are around. They might walk in to us. As much as possible, I don’t want them to know our real score. They will know of it after Jiyong breaks up with Lena.

“I still prefer being called Einstein though” I told him.

He smirked. “You really have lesser romance in your body than me”

I playfully pushed him away. “I can be as romantic as you. Just wait and see”

“Show it now” he dared.

I sighed. “No. Not happening”. Smiling as if teasing him. “By the way” I snapped. “Where are they?”

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and led me to the dining room. “They are already sleeping. Omma decided to make Yong sleep with them”

“Huh?” I looked at the wall clock and gasped upon seeing that it’s already ten in the evening. “I napped for more than five hours?”

Jiyong chuckled. “That’s not a nap anymore, Areumie. You’ve slept half of the afternoon and night”

I hit him on the stomach playfully. “You should’ve woken me up!”

“Why would I when I know you’re tired?” he asked.

I sighed. “I have a lot things to do. I wasn’t able to bond with you guys too”

He pulled me to him and rubbed my back to comfort. “It’s okay. I’ll just tell you all the good and fun things we did”.

According to him, Yong really had a good time. He even stayed with Omma at the cafeteria where the pension guests played with him. Thing is, he had a fit after a while, because he’s sleepy. Jiyong also brought Yong to the lake and made him play with mud. It drove me nuts for a few minutes, but I figured that my son needs to get down and dirty once in a while.

“Hungry?” Jiyong asked. We’re seated at the dining table, just talking for half an hour now.

I nodded. “Yeah”

He stood up. “We set aside food for you. I’ll just reheat them”. Before leaving to the kitchen, he bended down and kissed the top of my head, making me smile.

Sweet! I love this feeling!

It took him some time to reheat the food. He also made me a cup of my favorite tea for good digestion since it’s already so late for a meal.

“Aren’t you sleepy?” I’m shoving delicious food on my face. Omma’s cooking really boozes my appetite.

He took a dumpling and popped it in his mouth. “Not yet”

Typical Jiyong. His insomnia was never fixed. He’s like a vampire – awake at night, asleep in the morning.

“I can still remember the last time we’re both here”. I’m watching him eat my leftovers.

He sighed heavily. “You were dead jealous of Lena that time. I can tell”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head, as if shaking off the memory of it. “You tell. I’m dying, as a matter of fact. She’s just too clingy and touchy and…” I stopped talking when he suddenly leaned forward and his lips landed on mine. I smirked after he pulled out. “What a way to shut me up Kwon Jiyong” I said, making him laugh.

“To be very honest, I don’t want to talk about her” he said and all I can do is stare at him.

“Why is that?”

He take a breath and exhaled heavily. “She’s consuming. I get stressed by her a lot, and this trip away from her is my time to freshen up”

“How is she as a girlfriend anyway?” I know I shouldn’t push him to talk about her, but I just can’t help it.

He sighed. “She’s manipulative at times. Had meltdowns every now and then. Her friends blame it on being an only child. A spoiled brat. But, on the other hand, she’s reasonable and kind”

I can only imagine how Jiyong is trying to last everything. Knowing him, he will go all out just for his girl, even taking in her flaws. Thinking that one day, she will snap out of her bad traits. Thing is, it seems like with Lena, it’s not going that way. He wouldn’t describe his girl as consuming, only with Lena that he did.

“How do you think will she take your break up?”

That is, if she’s going to consider. If not, well, that’s going to be a problem.

Jiyong looks clueless. Maybe because he knows very little of her even after months of being together. As for me, I’m sure a beast hiding in her will unleash.

“She won’t make it easy” his face has worry all over it. “As much as I want to think that it’s going to end smoothly, I know it won’t” he added, making me nod in agreement. “One of her friends told me that the last guy she’s been with has gone through a needle hole just to get away. She said that the guy’s career was put on the line after Lena made up stories about him. It was bad publicity. He’s an actor, and during that time he has a movie that is about to be released. Good thing, his people are good in damage control. They were able to turn things around”

Dangerous. The girl is dangerous. How can she even do something like that? Is she too desperate? Or maybe, she’s totally into this guy that resulted her to do something crazy.

“You know you put yourself in a hole” I told Jiyong, straightforwardly.

“I do. And if only I know these things early on, I would’ve bailed out or looked for another girl who is less of a headache and easier to deal with”. Jiyong is seriously in deep . How he’s going to get off it, I don’t know, but I’m worried for him.

Can Lena even ruin Jiyong’s career? I mean, he has a well-established career. As far as I know, he’s bigger than her in the industry. He’s more influential. Also, his fans will surely defend him. But, people who dislike him can use this as an advantage to wreck him up if ever.

“Can’t you just love her? Like, seriously forget about me and get into her?” This, I don’t really mean. I just want to see his reaction to it.

In disbelief, “What the heck! Are you giving up on us again?”

Well, he reacted the way I expected.

“Areumie, if you’re worried that Lena will do something crazy like what she did to her Ex, I’ll definitely fight her. If she’s planning to taint my name, she can do it to her heart’s extent. Why will I care too much, when I’ve been tainted more than she booked shows for a fashion week? I’ve been through hell and out, and if she’s going to say that I only used her, I’ll admit it without second thoughts, because it’s true anyway”. Then, he held my hand and looked straight into my eyes. “Don’t go selfless on me again. It won’t work this time. I need you to claim me and be selfish”

Be selfish. Be selfish. Be selfish. And, don’t be stupid.

It isn’t that hard, especially now that I feel so much for him, more than ever in the past. My heart is bursting with love for him and there’s no way I’ll let thing feeling go.

And when you’re bursting in love, there’s just no way you can’t release it. Something happened to Jiyong and I, again. This time, in the comfort of his room. We’re too cautious to make a noise, but it was fun.

“You haven’t done it with her, have you?” This question has been itching my tongue since yesterday.

Jiyong smirked. I looked at him. “The farthest we’ve done is make-out. There are times when it was close to happening, till I snap out of it, all because I’m reminded of you”

In all fairness to Jiyong, he’s very honest about him and Lena to me. Actually, I won’t mind if they already did it (Fine! I’ll get a little jealous).

“Wait a minute….” He propped up on one elbow and caressed my cheek. “How are things going with you and Dr. Miller?”

I thought he wouldn’t ask.

“We’re very good friends” I answered cheerfully.

He raised an eyebrow. “Just, very….good….friends?”

I hissed. “Aden is giving me all the time I need to get over you and to get to know him”

“That guy” he chuckled “He’s really kind”

True!

Dr. Miller is the type of guy that is very ideal to bring home to Mom and Dad. He’s everything a woman would want and more. Too bad, he’s not for me.

Drawing circles on his bare chest, “You’re going back to Paris tomorrow”. Saying this, I have a bitter taste in my mouth. As much as I don’t want for him to leave, he has to, because there are things for him to do, and the most important is to break up with Lena.

I know he doesn’t want to leave. Not when we’re ‘on fire’ again. He sighed heavily and planted a kiss on my forehead. “I forgot to tell you…” he smiled when I looked at him. “Lena called me in the afternoon to say that she’s about to go to Las Vegas for a look test, and that I just go there to meet her”

Nice! It seems like she really love having her boyfriend anywhere she goes.

“Have you thought about how you’re going to tell her about us?” To be honest, I’m afraid of this. Sure, Lena might take it lightly because their relationship is not that long and deep yet. But, I have a strong feeling that in one way or another, it’s going to be a big deal to her.

“Right timing. It’s all about that” He said and all I can do is nod.

He’s correct. Right timing is all that’s needed. Thing is, with a matter this big, even said in the right time, can turn out bad. All I can do is pray for things to go right.

The next morning, I was awakened by Yong’s loud laughter. He’s shrieking, and it sounds good in the ears. Turns out, Jiyong and him are playing. Totally having a good time.

“I’m leaving in a couple of hours” he said while hugging me.

We are in my room. One of the two places we can be sweet to each other around the pension.

“Are you done packing already?” I’m playing it cool amidst the sadness I feel inside me.

He brushed some of my hair off my face. “Yeah”

And I can’t take it no more. Tears rolled down my cheeks right after I stopped holding it in. I’m sobbing while hugging him tightly. I want to keep him here.

“Yaaa…” he cupped my face with his hands and wiped away my tears with his thumbs. “I’ll be back sooner than you think”

I can’t help to be a little negative. “That is, if she’s going to let you go fast”

He sighed. “I’ll fix this. Just, please don’t let me go anymore. Wait for me. No matter what”

“No need to plead….” I his cheek. “Because I will wait for you, and I won’t let go. Never, again”

                                             ~~~~

One week later…

Dr. Miller stared at me for a good minute. His face serious. His eyes, worried. “Areum, there’s something you need to know”

                                             ****