The day I thought is going to be plain and boring turned out into a fun outing. After eating and hanging out at Mark’s restaurant, he brought me to cool hidden places around the island. I’ve been to Jeju for so many times in the past, and when I thought that I’ve been everywhere, I found out that there is more to the island than the familiar.

“This is so relaxing”. We are at a botanical garden, a place I’ve been to once, and just like before, I’m still blown away by it’s beauty.

“Noona…” Mark looked my way as I’m savoring the fresh wind that’s blowing my face. “Hmm…” I opened my eyes and turned to him. He smiled a little, making me smile back automatically. “How long do you think are you going to stay here?”

Facing him completely, I sighed and shrugged “Honestly…I’m not sure how long. Before coming here I thought I won’t last even a day away from the city and a plane away from my kids…” For the millionth time today, I’m reminded of my children. I wonder what they’re doing right this very minute. I hope Emma decided to come back to Jiyong already. Actually, it’s better if Jiyong talks to her and get her back even when she doesn’t want to. This way, Emma will learn how to deal with big things and not just run away from it.

“Well...it’s been a full day and you’re still here” Mark said with a smile that magically lightened the heavy weight I’m feeling.

After a good thirty minutes of just taking in the beauty around us and talking about random things, we capped off the day with a hearty dinner at a small restaurant near the hotel I’m staying at.

“If you want a good tteokbukki…this is the place to go” Mark proudly said.

Seriously, if there is one person who can promote the island, I think it’s him. I am still in awe of how well he knows this place like the back of his hand.

“I must say…you are such a good tour guide” I joked, making him laugh. He finished his bowl of jjajangmyeon first before talking, “I’ve been living here for YEARS now…” he swished his chopsticks left to right “Not to mention…I’m mostly alone…aside from volunteering at the orphanage, there’s nothing much I do… so every time I’m bored…I roam around the island” he sighed satisfyingly, “There’s no restaurant or eatery…big or small…grand and not…that I haven’t eaten at”

I envy how free he is. Just by thinking of how much time he has in his hands I cannot help but imagine the things I can do with it. Twenty-four hours is not enough to really live, to be honest.

“I have something to confess Noona…”

Ooohh. Why is this making me nervous?

“Shoot it!” I am playing it cool. What do we know? He might just need to leave now because of more important things to do or maybe I’m boring him big time, that’s why he wants to leave already.

Mark cleared his throat and stared at me for a minute. I ‘low-key’ checked my face on the black screen of my phone just to be sure that I don’t have dirt anywhere. “I’m going to  be honest with you…” he swallowed hard and gave out a smile, “I…know…who…you….are” he said carefully and slowly.

“O…K…” is all I can say. “Don’t tell me you watched the documentary about me back in the days when television is still this one chunky box” I laughed with him. He shakes his head, “Nope!” he comfortably shifted in his seat, “First…now that you said something about a documentary I’m assuming you took huge part in…I’m going to look for it the moment I arrive home…” he teased, making me smirk. “You’ll definitely see me differently after watching it” I grinned, and I can see curiosity in his eyes clearly.

And we have another VIP in Mark.

“Lies is my bop you know” he laughed “Back when I was still in the states…I use to memorize their songs along with other artists’ songs…my Mom will always catch me rapping in front of the full size mirror in our bathroom…she would force me to do a small show every Christmas in front of our family and friends and it’ll always be Lies that I perform”

Well, what can I say? Big Bang is Big Bang. No matter where you are, once you get hooked to their music, there’s no unhooking anymore.

“The last “scandal” I’ve heard of GD is him having children with his bestfriend” he cleared his throat and shifted in his seat “When I first saw you, you were some kind of familiar…and it’s just after spending a whole day together that I realized…” he pointed at me “You are…THAT bestfriend”

Yeah. I am that ‘BESTFRIEND’. A label that I’m not sure if I can be called to this day. A part of me really wanted to scratch off Jiyong after what he did, but just by thinking of our long and colorful history together, I find it hard to even step back away from him.

With my identity out, I no longer hold back in telling stories, which may be a wrong move since I’m not supposed to trust a person who I just met hours ago, but I feel a different connection to Mark, that I trusted him right off the bat.

“In all honesty…” he stared at me for a good thirty seconds before sighing heavily, “You are both in the wrong” he smiled sympathetically “I mean…yeah… with the whole medical studies going…you sure is hectic…but…you should’ve at least stepped on your breaks and assess how things are going with your children most especially…after all…as you’ve said…they are your top-most priority”

“I can actually relate to your kids for I’m often left alone by my parents as well...and believe me when I say that there’s nothing more I want but a parent to stay by my side every time I needed them most” at this point, I can strongly feel Mark’s emotions. It’s like his eyes are telling me what to feel. “Your daughter is still lucky for you only ditched her party once…unlike me...” he smirked “I’m so used to celebrating my birthday a month after my actual birthday all because Mom and Dad are too busy to even bring me out for a meal or take some time out from their busy schedules to sing me a happy birthday”

One thing I promised when I became a parent is that I will be there in every special occasion my kids will have, most especially their birthdays because I know how sad it is to not have your parents celebrate with you on your most special day. Now, here I am, breaking that promise, and I feel more than disappointment.

“GD should’ve just taken you easy…I mean…it’s enough that you feel bad for not being there on Emma’s party…he should’ve let it slip it away and helped you woo your daughter instead”. This. I totally agree with. “But then again…maybe he’s just too emotional to think straight…what do you know? He might’ve just said all the things he said to you out of anger and frustration” 

I sighed, “Yeah. I’ve thought of that as well…but…I don’t know…I feel like him banning me is a good lesson…for me to appreciate my family more…he probably wants to teach me how to prioritize better than I used to…also…this is a good time for me to figure out how to handle our future”

“Future…” Mark looked at me, lost.

I take in a breath and sighed heavily, “Before coming back here to Korea…I have a good plan in mind on how I’m going to raise my kids all alone and what our lives will be like in the years to come, and how I’m going to make everything possible…back then it’s so easy because there’s nothing much to think about unlike now where my mind is messed up with so many things” I chuckled and Mark did too. “First on the list is my relationship with Jiyong” I don’t know, for some reason, I feel like crying just by saying his name. “Not even in my wildest dreams have I imagined to be a mistress nor do I want to be labeled as one…and here I am…dubbed as a marriage wrecker even when the other girl is the one who did dirty to me”. This information clearly surprised Mark, for his eyes went big after hearing what I just said. “She was the one who snatched Jiyong from me…she plotted her plan so well that he wasn’t given a chance to run away…news about their secret marriage in America isn’t as true as it was written…none of them wrote that she forced him to marry her while he’s intoxicated with alcohol and cannot even think straight to save himself…I swear Mark….at that time all I want is to tell everybody the truth about Lena but I shut my mouth up thinking that it happened because it was truly destined to happen” I swallowed hard and felt a lump on my throat as I try to hold back the tears “Maybe Jiyong and I are not meant to be…which I feel is true now”

Thinking about it, with all that has happened to Jiyong and I, it’s whenever we try to be together romantically that truly happens. It’s like our stars are not aligned after all. Before I always think of it as hurdles that we have to take on, but now it seems like all we have to do is read between the lines and realize that we’re better off as friends, or maybe just parents to our children. Maybe there’s really no US. Maybe it’s only just me and just him originally and the universe just ed up in bringing us into each other’s lives.

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