There’s really a light at the end of the tunnel, and when you see it, your heart will jump in joy and your mind will be at peace because finally, the hope for things to be in their right places is just a reach away.

Six months in and I’m slowly taking in the crazy changes of my body. It’s been two months since I moved in with Jiyong and I’m already pounds heavier. Just imagine having food in front of you almost every hour. It’s overwhelming.

As expected, he’s super busy after releasing his comeback album. His schedule is as packed as it can get. He cannot even squeeze in eight hours of sleep. But, it’s THE G-dragon we’re talking about here, that guy knows no rest, sleep and even eat. It’s all work, work, work, and a lot more work for him.

I woke up with the usual post-it note on the refrigerator door.

        Einstein,

Off to work! Breakfast’s in the microwave just heat it. Omma and Noona will be a little late today. Please don’t starve yourself. Call for food delivery any time you feel like eating or whip up a simple meal (if you have the energy), just be careful.

                                                                    See you later! (If you’re still awake when I arrive)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                Peace!

                                                                                                                                                                                                               Jiyongie

How thoughtful. He prepared breakfast for me today. Usually, Dami unnie does it. To be honest, I’m not yet used to being taken care of so much. The family is so careful around me, as if I’m a thin glass. As much as possible, they won’t let me move a muscle. Oh well, I know they’re just concerned, and I appreciate every bit of their kindness and effort in making my pregnancy easier as possible.

“Oh, shiz! I almost forgot!” I scrambled to my feet from bumming in the living room, just watching TV and eating a bowl of strawberries.

Gosh! My pregnancy brain is really taking a toll on me. Good thing I can still remember my own name, because there are so many things I forget these days. Like, my monthly pre-natal checkup.

It seems like Dami unnie has also forgotten it becase she made other plans this morning. She has been my checkup buddy for two months now. Oh well, I can drive myself to the hospital anyway (Jiyong will surely freak out, but I don’t have a choice).

I can taste freedom on my tongue and it’s so good. At last, after a couple of months, I get to do something on my own again.

“Doctor Jeong” Doctor Lim’s assistant walked towards me, her smile very friendly.

I looked up at her. “Yes?”

“Doctor Lim wants me to apologize in her behalf. She’s coming in late today”

LOVE IT!

“No need to apologize. I’ll wait for her” I patter her arm and she smiled again.

Alone time is extended! I can roam around the hospital while waiting and maybe check on my patients. I will visit Doctor Nam as well. This is so perfect!

Feeling great, I went to the pediatric wing where nurses and my co-Doctors greeted me happily and in awe because of my already very visible baby bump. I also found out that there’s a new Doctor in our department and is a foreigner.

“I’m so happy to tell you that two of your cancer patients were already announced cancer free. They’re now in remission” the head Nurse said when I asked for updates.

“Doctor Aden Miller is in-charge of most of your patients. He’s a good guy and the children loves him”

Why do I feel jealous? It must be the hormones. Looks like this new Doctor is doing his job well.

“And you’re really here!” Doctor Nam welcomed me in her office. I hugged her with excitement.

Ever since I got discharged from the hospital and took a leave from work, the only communication we have is text messaging and it’s not easy for she’s really not a phone person (she’s too lazy to stare at the screen), and when I’m here in the hospital for my checkups, she’s too busy to even sit for a few minutes.

“You look healthy” she said, and I flashed her my brightest smile.

“If you only know how good they are in taking care of me”

“They’re totally a kind bunch” she said and I cannot agree more.

After telling me stories about patients and how work is like these past months, she jumped into the topic of…

“So you guys are doing well in one roof together”

Happy, I nod. “Yes! Jiyong and I were able to pick up here we left as best friends”

“And as lovers?”

I hissed. “It’s all behind us now. I mean, it’s easier to live together without the awkwardness of being ex-lovers”

She agreed with a nod and smiled widely. “But you know as well as I do that he’s not yet truly over you”

Here we go again!

“Look, Jiyong might not be over ‘US’ yet, but there’s really nothing we can do to continue what had ended. We’re good where we are now”

Some of you may think that it’s just too unbelievable for ex-lovers to still be the best of friends for a lot have dared but only a few succeeded. Well, Jiyong and I bravely did it. Like what he always say, our friendship is stronger than romance.

“Isn’t loving someone you cannot be with, agonizing and tiresome?”

This made me think and evaluate myself.

“Honestly, it is, but once you’ve already accepted that you really cannot be together, things get easier. It’s like, my emotions are back to where they used to be”

You may be thinking, why do you even have to end a close to perfect relationship when there’s really no point to? This is my answer:

Well, aside from giving him the chance to love and be with someone ‘baggage-less’, I’m also afraid for things to fall apart. It’s easy to get back together, I can just tell him about it and it won’t take long till he agrees, but I’ve realized that we can screw things up that will probably lead to another break up, and God knows how I pray hard for it not to happen again. I don’t want to lose him, ever, because losing him means losing a huge part of myself.

Doctor Nam and I chatted for almost an hour at the pediatric department’s nurse station, then I went back to Doctor Lim’s office for my checkup with a different excitement because it’s possible that I’ll get to know the gender of my baby already.

“Doctor Jeong, Doctor Lim’s going to be ready for you in five minutes”

Giddy and anxious, I waited, and when it’s already time, I grabbed my bag from the chair beside me just to be surprised that someone is snatching it from me.

“I’ll carry it for you”

Eyes wide, “Jiyong! What are you doing here?”

He removed my hand from the bag and carried it for me. “I called Noona to ask how you’re doing and she told me she’s still at her boutique, so I called home and nobody’s answering, it worried me. I rushed to Noona from a music show to ask if she knows where you are. It took her a couple of minutes to remember about your checkup. And since I’m already out, I decided to come here instead to accompany you”

“You cancelled your performance?” I asked in disbelief.

He shook his head. “I had it recorded”

Whew! I’ll really force him to go back to the show if he cancelled. I don’t want VIPs to be upset because of him not being there. They waited so long for this.

He raised an eyebrow while watching me change my expression every second. He chuckled, “C’mon, the Doctor already called for you. We don’t want to keep her waiting”

Zoned out, I had my ultrasound where the cold gel on my stomach brought me back to my senses. I cannot wrap my head around Jiyong being here, sitting in a corner, waiting for the action to start.

“Alright” Doctor Lim took her seat and started running the transducer probe (the one being held by the doctor) on top of my stomach and around it.

“We’re doing 4D today” she said and I looked at the monitor.

All I can hear are the echoes coming from inside of my stomach while Doctor Lim is trying to get a better angle of the baby.

“Aigoo” she pointed at the monitor, “The baby is in a transverse position”

“Huh?” I head Jiyong say.

I looked at him and chuckled. “It’s lying sideways, facing me”

Doctor Lim nodded. “I guess today’s not the day to know if it’s a he or a she”

Jiyong’s face sagged upon hearing it. We actually don’t have a bet yet if it’s a boy or a girl, but he has told me it’s going to be more exciting if my baby’s a boy.

Playfully, I the side of my belly, gently, feather like. Usually, when I do this the baby moves, maybe it will move this time and face us.

“Is that the ?” Jiyong is so occupied in watching the baby through the monitor.

I giggled. “Yep!” I answered.

“Omo!” Doctor Lim jerked up when the baby started moving, then smiled at me. “You woke it up” she said and I looked at with a renewed excitement.

I’m praying hard for the baby to turn our way so we can see its gender already.

“Waaa!!!” Wide-eyed, Jiyong pointed at the monitor.

“It’s turning. Let’s hope it’ll fully turn” Doctor Lim is anxious as well.

Next thing I know it, Jiyong is already on his feet, waiting.

“Go! Go! Go! You can do it” he murmured to himself.

And then…

“Oh!”

The baby turned, enough for us to see everything.

My heart skipped upon seeing it. Right then and there, I can tell what my baby is.

“Jiyongie” I called.

Still focused on the monitor, “mmm…”

“Can you guess what it is?” I asked, and he looked at me intently.

If I’m going to ask for a bet and ask for something big as a prize, I’ll surely get it. There’s no way he’ll know.

“Wanna bet?” I am just playing around, though I know he’s game for it.

He shrugged confidentl and smirked. “Go! What are we betting at?”

Areumie, think! Gosh! Why is my head just full of food?

“Large box of four cheese pizza and a tub of vanilla ice cream” I answered and he stick out his hand to me.

I took it. “Deal!”

And it’s on!

Actually, it’s not really easy to tell the gender of the baby for only Doctors who mastered it can, some even make mistakes. If Jiyong gets this right, I’m going to be amazed.

“What do you think?” I gave him the chance to go first since he’s in a disadvantage.

Looking nervous and confused, “Boy”

Oh !

Obviously shocked and in awe, Doctor Nam and I looked at each other. I underestimated him.

Defeated, I sighed. “You win”

“Ha!” he nearly do a celebratory dance. “Genius!” he said while pointing at himself.

That was fun. I never thought it would be. I’m so thankful that he’s there to share that moment with me. At least I have someone to celebrate with.

And there you have it, I’m having a baby boy! Gosh! I think I already know what’s ahead of me.

Jumpy and on a hype, Jiyong still cannot get over guessing the gender of the baby right. We’re already on our way home with a box of pizza and a tub of ice cream all in my expense (I’m going to be the one eating most of it for sure coz these foods are not his thing).

“Heaven!” I said after taking a bite of pizza.

He joined me on the couch in the living room with a bottle of beer in hand.

“How can you not know? I mean, you’re a doctor, not to mention you’re also a genius, didn’t you study about it?”

I told you, he’s still not over it.

I rolled my eyes. “Believe it or not, I knew it even before we made the bet”

He hissed.

“You’re just lucky, you know” I told him and like a kid, he stick out his tongue.

He’s so freakin’ cute!

“It’s a boy!” he shouted. “WE’RE HAVING A BOY!”

My heart stopped after hearing that.

With excitement on his face and sparkle in his eyes, “I’m going to dress him up like how real men does it. Customized suits and all. Racks of shoes. Aigoo…he’ll be the envy of other babies”

Hearing his plans for my baby, I cannot help but feel emotional.

“If only you’re his Appa”

                                                ****