JIYONG

It truly is the little things that matter.

“Aish!”

My phone has been ringing for the past fifteen minutes already and it seems like whomever my caller is, he/she will not stop until I pick up.

“Seriously…” I lazily reached for my phone on the side table but it was too far to reach, so I don’t have a choice but to get up. With it finally in hand, “Hello” I picked up, my voice almost air.

“Kwon Jiyong!” It’s Areumie. She’s the only person who has the guts to wake me up early in the morning. My friends (Big Bang members included), will not dare to call especially when it’s this early, for they know it’s going to mess me up for the whole day.

With eyes closed, soul out of my body and mind still inactive, “Hmm…”

She sighed, “What a night, huh?” she teased, chuckling.

In a heartbeat, “It was ONE-HECK-OF-A-NIGHT”

Last night, I’m feeling really good because I have my son all to myself. We were able to bond. I must admit, most of the time I’m sentimental and emotional, which he cannot get why. If he only knows how long I waited for it to happen, he’ll understand why I’m ‘being weird’. The only drag of the night is allowing him to eat sweets right before bedtime.

“Ethan is all over the place” I told Areumie who, of course, is not shocked of how our night turned out, “So…we were in bed by eleven, right?” I just cannot wait to tell her about it any longer.

She laughed, “Uh-huh”

“All the while I thought he’s just going to stay up a little late…but I was wrong” I swear. This story is one for the books, “He said he wanted to read a book…thing is…we don’t have any children’s books here” being reminded of what happened next is making me laugh “Speaking of…remind me to buy a whole lot of children’s books one of these days” I said and she just said “Okay”.  “Anyway…I rummaged through some old stuff…hoping to find at least one story book instead I found one of your medical books that believe it or not….I made him read in replace of a story book”

You might think I’m joking, but I’m not. I, Kwon Jiyong a.k.a G-dragon, made my son read a medical book as if it’s a normal thing for a kid to do before bed. Fortunately, it’s in English so Ethan can read it, for if it happened to be in Korean, I might’ve ended up reading it to him. Also, I cannot believe that my little boy can read, not that fast, but he can read well already.

“Oh gosh!” Areumie is laughing so hard, she snorted twice.

“After that…I thought he’s all good to sleep for I am sure all that he read in that book is mentally draining” I continued.

She laughed hard, again, “Jiyong…I can assure you…he cannot understand a word in it…I really think you’re the one who’s drained” as expected, she’s going to make fun of me which I don’t mind because I’m used to it.

All I can do is roll my eyes, “And then he asked for a glass of water…so I got up…went to the kitchen and was shocked real hard upon seeing the television in the living room open. It was dark. I swear…for a few seconds there I feel like I’m in a horror movie. My heart started banging my chest just to find Ethan sitting on the couch…busily flipping channels”

Once again, Areumie is in hysterical laughter, “Oh gosh!” she keeps on saying in between breaths.

“We watched TV for about thirty minutes when he wanted to go back to the bedroom. At that moment I’m already celebrating in my head for I thought he’s finally tired and going to bed I’m going to be able to rest…but once again…” my head hurts just by remembering all this “The sugar is still ruling him. He asked if he can play with my toys…you know…the bear bricks…”

Areumie gasped, “No! Not the expensive toys!” she said comically.

I sighed, “Yes…those expensive toys” I said “He almost made me pull out all of them from their shelves…I don’t know what’s gotten into me…but I willingly just did whatever”

I’m sure you are laughing together with Areumie right now. Honestly, I find all these really funny as well because for the first time in my entire existence, someone made me obey so well without hearing a single complaint, not even Areumie can do it. Oh well, I guess it’s true what others say – once you’re already a parent, you’re beyond your control, you’re willing to do everything just for your child’s happiness.

“Jiyong…” Areumie is finally done laughing and is back to being serious “Thank you” her voice is filled with gratitude, melting my heart.

A smile appeared on my face, “It’s nothing…for all the things I’m doing now is nothing compared to what you’ve done for our kids”

Last night while making Ethan sleep (I kind of forced him by telling him that if he goes to bed and closed his eyes, I will buy him a new game), I cannot help but think, how the heck can Areumie handle our kids when they’re sugar high? I only experienced taking care of one kid and it definitely tested my patience, what more if both kids are sugar rushed? It must be really hard to deal with.

“I’d be lying if I tell you it’s just a piece of cake” she chuckled “No pun intended” and she laughed again, making me laugh as well. “But I guess when you’re already a parent your instincts will instantly tell you what to do with a kid who has sugar rush” she said “Jiyong…you might think you did a bad job because you weren’t able to control him…but I swear…you did good…given that it’s your first time…just always remember that sugar can make kids go crazy it has this weird effect like liquor to adults…specially…don’t give them sweets at night if you want to have a good one” she finished with another hearty laugh and all I can do is laugh again with her.

Now I’ve proven, there are women who are born to be Mothers, and I’m so lucky to have one as the Mother of my children.

We talked for half an hour ending with Areumie telling me that she and Emma are going here to pick up Ethan. Our poor daughter still believes that her brother is in another family already, never to be seen and won’t be coming back. She cried herself to sleep and woke up crying again this morning. I don’t know how Areumie can last it. If I’m in her shoes, I will not even think of this crazy idea at all.

Time check: Seven-thirty. Since I’m already awake, I decided to start my day. Before leaving Ethan who is sleeping soundly, I made sure he won’t fall off the bed by surrounding him with huge pillows. My body is so heavy. I’m too tired. But, I need to this up. After all, today is going to be special, for the whole family is going to be here.

An hour passed and I’m unbelievably energetic. I even went to the supermarket with Omma who is very excited to cook for the family. She made a list of dishes right after I told her that Areumie and Emma are coming, wasting no time to prepare.

When we arrived, Noona is already with Appa in the living room having tea. She brought a lot of snacks for the kids that can feed them for months. Of course, I didn’t miss telling her about last night and just like Areumie, she laughed like crazy.

Ethan woke up in a good mood around nine, and I immediately prepared breakfast for him. I bought his favorite brand of cereals that I’m sure he’ll happily eat.

“Oh, Noona!” I called upon seeing her pouring a different brand of cereal on Ethan’s bowl. He already finished one serving and asked for another. He’s a growing kid. Food is everything. I don’t mind him eating a lot, especially in the morning.

Ignoring me, “Try this. I’m telling you…it’s better than the first” Noona said to him and even though I know he’s not into it, Ethan just let his Auntie do her thing.

After a spoonful, Ethan’s face changed and it’s not good at all. “Good…right?” Noona asked him and all my son can do is stare at her.

This is such a funny scene. I’m holding back my laughter because I don’t want Noona to get offended, for I’m sure she just wants the best for my kids, starting with keeping them healthy by giving them everything organic. Sadly, it doesn’t fit their taste.

In all fairness to Ethan, he finished everything up that I found out is a Cherry Ginger Granola cereal after checking its box before clearing the table. I truly cannot imagine what it tastes like.

“We’re here!” the moment I heard Areumie, I rushed to the door like an excited dog welcoming his master.

“Daddy!” Emma ran to me, hugging me by the waist tightly.

“Aigoo…” I’m staring at her face and it’s so obvious that she cried buckets. Her eyes are so puffy. She wasn’t able to sleep well too, for her dark circles are visible.

Near to crying again, “I want Ethan back” she is in deep sorrow and it’s breaking my heart.

I met eyes with Areumie and she just smiled at me. Seriously, I’m going to give her a good whack on the head for punishing our daughter so much.

Cheerfully, “I have a surprise for you” I told Emma and her eyes twinkled.

“I don’t want a new brother, okay daddy? I want only Ethan” she told me while I’m carrying her to my bedroom where Ethan and the rest of the family are.

Haven’t you noticed? Emma has the same wits as her Mom. If not, wittier. They have the tendency to say the same things and think alike too.

“ETHAN!” Emma wriggled out of my arms upon seeing her brother. She ran to him with arms wide open.

“EMMA!” Ethan is surprised to see his sister. He welcomed her with a tight hug.

“Aigoo…” Noona and our parents are touched by what they’re seeing.

The kids being sweet to each other is everything. They apologized to each other and acted like nothing happened right after. Areumie and I are so proud of them.

After the sweet moment, the kids, Areumie and I stayed in my room while the rest of the family is finishing a few dishes for lunch.

“Look at this, Emma” Ethan is holding the photo album that I showed him last night.

“Oh gosh!” Areumie rushed to him upon seeing it, joining him in bed.

Feeling emotional, I snapped a picture of the three, all smiling and looking so lovely while scanning the album. I have a good number of pictures of us saved in my phone, but this is by far my favorite. It’s raw and candidly perfect.

My whole life and whole heart is them. I cannot find the right words to describe what I’m feeling this very moment. All I know is I’m bursting in happiness and love that I haven’t felt for a long time. Looking at them, I feel satisfied and contented. With them is where I truly belong.

“I cannot remember this” Areumie pointed at a photo of us together, standing in front of a store, both in our school uniforms.

The photo is quite memorable. It was taken in Myeongdong. We were exploring sixteen year olds. I skipped a day of training at YG while Areumie skipped a student council meeting wherein she’s an officer. The day before the photo was taken we had a huge fight. I cannot remember what it’s about, but I’m sure it’s just a petty one that eventually became huge, like most of our fights in the past. And because I cannot last with her mad at me, I decided to surprise her in school, waiting outside her classroom and dragged her out of school without telling where we’re heading.

In Myeongdong, I treated her for some Kalguksu at a restaurant that makes the best of it. After that, I made the dumbest decision of a shopping spree at the Lotte Department store where she bought bags full of cosmetic and skincare products. It emptied my pocket but I made her really happy. At the end of the day, we’re back to normal again, and just like our kids, we acted like nothing happened after.

“Ah!” Areumie snapped her fingers “We fought because you don’t have time for me anymore, and you don’t want to admit it” she playfully pointed at me, making me chuckle “You keep on telling me that you don’t feel like it when it really is true. I can still remember you ditching me for Youngbae and TOP” she said, but I cannot remember it. “The three of you went to this music store that sells half priced EP’s and LP’s”

Oh, it sounds just like the teenage us. TOP hyung, Youngbae and I are always up for good deals whether in buying music or clothes since we are in a tight budget.

By the time Areumie and I started reminiscing, our kids are out of bed and on the floor already playing. We are left with our memories that I will never ever get tired recalling.

“Ha!” I pointed at a photo of her in my hip-hop clothes, looking so awkward.

She laughed out loud, “I look like a trying hard member of 2ne1 here”

It made me laugh, “Remember…you always borrow my loose shirts just to use as a pajama and I’ll get mad at you because you don’t want to return most of them”

She giggled, “They are the comfiest”

Where there times when all you want is to be reminded of your past? Well, I do. There’s something about it that feels so comforting and grounding.

All of a sudden, Areumie became silent. Looking at her, I can tell that she’s thinking deeply. After a while, she turned her head to me and looked straight into my eyes, “You know…there are times when I wish to be brought back to the past…live there for a while then go back to the present again” the tone of her voice has sadness in it.

“Why is that?” I asked, closing the photo album.

She sighed, “I want to go back to when my parents are still alive. I don’t know Jiyong…but I just want to feel their love again…that unconditional love and care that nobody can give to me just them…I also want to ask if I’m doing a good job at being a Mother…I want to hear what my Omma would say…I want her to give me tips on how to raise a child like any Mother does…I want to ask if they’re proud of what I’ve become”

Hearing this makes me want to make her wish come true like I always does. Thing is, it’s impossible.

Ever since Areumie’s parents died, I always make sure she doesn’t feel lonely or sad, but looking at her now, I can clearly see longing in her eyes and that makes me feel so helpless.

While thinking of different ways to make her heavy feelings light, I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her tightly, hoping it gives her at least a pinch of the comfort she needed. “They are proud of you…I’m sure they are” I told her, receiving a smile. “You will always have that empty space in your heart…that only they can fill up…but never forget that you have us…and we love you more than you think”

She pulled out from the hug and stared at me. Her eyes are making me weak.

“Areumie…” I called but paused.

My head is swirling. I’m about to do something I’m not sure I should be doing.

But…what the heck.

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