*****

“OW!” I scrambled to my feet, hitting my foot on one leg of the table. “AAAAHHH!” I yelped and felt a warm hand on my arm. “Careful” Hong Shik said, looking sweetly into my eyes. I cannot help but stare. “I’m good” I awkwardly smiled and jerked up, after remembering that we’re not alone anymore.

“Jiyongie!” I straightened my blouse and walked towards him. His eyes darted at me as I come closer. “Hey” my heart is pounding in my chest, so hard I feel like it’s going to break me. “Hmm…” What to say? Where will I start?

It’s not him, seeing Hong Shik in my apartment and seeing us kissing (I’m sure he saw it), that is making me nervous, it’s me, taking Hong Shik in that’s going to make Jiyong lose his marbles. Yes, it’s good to him for me to meet men one after another, but he told me straight to my face that living in is not acceptable. He hasn’t taken any of his ex-girlfriends in his house (except for the one time ‘she’ visited for a short vacation).

This is going to be a big problem.

“Good Evening Sunbaenim!” Hong Shik bravely greeted him, bowing down respectfully. Not to be rude, Jiyong nodded his head, acknowledging him. “I think I came in the wrong time” he told him then looked at me. I snapped up, “No! We’re just…”

Jiyong stared at me, his left eyebrow raised.

“Just…” with a sigh “Kissing” I whispered and looked down, embarrassed.

I was never awkward with him seeing me so flirtatious, until now. There’s this strange feeling that I can’t really explain. “What….made you….come here?” I can’t talk well. My voice is shaking in nervousness.

He showed me a bottle of our favorite wine in one hand and a bag of take-out food from our favorite restaurant in another. “I suddenly feel like having a BFF night out” he said, obviously disappointed. “But, since you have a visitor, let’s just do it next time”. He walked to the counter island with Hong Shik and I just watching him, as he place the bottle of wine and bag of food on it.

At last, I came back to my senses. “Jiyongie” I grabbed him by the arm when he’s about to walk out of the apartment already. “There’s something you need to know” The look on his face tells me that millions of thoughts are running in his head. “I’m listening” he shifted his weight to his other foot. I looked behind me where Hong Shik is sitting on the couch. “We’ll go out for a while” I told him and he awkwardly nodded.

Outside, I walked a few meters away from the door and sat on the floor. “Come” I patted the space beside me. “Seriously?” he sighed and joined me.

Lying to him is useless because he will surely discover the truth faster than you think. 1. He has full access of my apartment. He can go in and out without a sweat. 2. My apartment is his hangout place. I can’t ask Hong Shik to leave, while Jiyong is there just for him not to see him. 3. I just cannot lie to him.

“OK” I faced him fully, but instead of facing me he just turned his head to me. “You will kill me for this” I said, with eyes tightly shut. He gave me a questioning look. “You just had with him” he guessed, pointing at me. I laughed out loud “NO!” and hit his arm playfully.

“What?” he stared at me impatiently, making my nerves shoot up to its highest level. I take in a breath and said a little prayer (Help me, God) in my head. “I…hmm…I asked Hong Shik to live with me”. The words came out of my mouth so fast, I didn’t even feel them.

Jiyong’s jaw dropped. His eyes are less sparkly than usual. He’s frozen in shock.

One….

Two….

Three….

“WHAT THE ! ARE YOU IN’ SERIOUS?” his voice is so loud and angry, my body trembled in fear.

“Relax” I touched his shoulder and looked straight into his eyes. “I have a valid reason”

“What?” he is in total rage. God only knows how angry he is, but I can feel it in every inch of his body. Keeping my calm, “He has nowhere to go”

Areumie friendship tip: When your best friend(s)’s fuming in anger, don’t try to level. Keep your calm. This way, things are not going to get overboard. I’m telling you, once you go to the same level, chaos will start, and once it starts and doesn’t end well, friendship is OVER!

He hissed. “That’s lame, so freakin’ lame”

Scrambling for words to say, “I’m telling the truth Jiyongie” I countered “He, along with his Mother and younger Brother was kicked out of their apartment just this morning”

It’s coming together.

It’s coming together.

“Their rent ballooned and their savings wasn’t enough to pay all of it. One of his Hyungs took in their Mother and Brother, but couldn’t take him in since there are a lot of them in that apartment already. His other Hyung can only take him for the night coz he and his wife are just sharing a place with his in-laws. His friends doesn’t have the means to help, for they’re struggling as well. So, as a friend who is capable, I offered him my place, which is the best option right now because he gets to save his entire salary instead of paying for rent. It won’t take long, he will get out of here. I promise”

I’ve said a lot but Jiyong is not reacting at all.

“After all, I’m going to be out of the country for two weeks” I followed. “What for? Where are you going?” he finally speak out. I smiled. “I was chosen to be the hospital’s representative for a seminar in London. And, you won’t believe this…” I rolled my eyes and sighed. “I agreed to come to our college reunion, so from London, I’ll be flying to Melbourne”

This lessened the tension.

“But you hate college reunions” he said with a laugh. I smirked. “They said they want me there” I said, and he laughed again.

By the way he looks, I can tell that he’s somewhat relieved to know that I will be away for weeks. As I expected, this will make him agree to Hong Shik, staying in with me for a while.

“You know you’re taking a big leap by letting him stay here”. He is in serious mode again. I nodded. “I’ve thought really well about this. I know, it’s beyond my limit, but he badly needs help”

Worry is all over his face. “Your intentions are good. But, you just met him. You barely know the guy. Honestly, I want to take him to Dolce Vita, let him stay there until he’s stable, just to get him out of here and for my peace of my mind as well” he sighed and touched my hand. “I don’t trust him….yet”

Jiyong is really protective of me and I’m not complaining. I perfectly know where he’s coming from, and I will not force him to trust or be good to Hong Shik. I’ll let him realize by himself that the man is good and worth trusting.

Thinking of it, they will surely jive well 1. They love music so much 2. They are in the same industry 3. They have so much in common that I think, will freak them out as well. They resemble each other a lot, not the face though, but the height, the built, the way they move, and sometimes even talk.

“Where is he going to sleep?” he asked, while biting his nails (he does this when he’s worried, stressed, nervous or bored).

I take in a breath. “On the couch. I have extra pillows he can use and a thin blanket. It’s not enough, but that’s all I have”. As if hearing a funny joke, he laughed out loud. “You offered your home to him, but you don’t have the things needed for sleep overs”. He laughed once again. “Poor man, he will freeze to death in your living room because his ‘friend’” he said sarcastically “Or shall I say, girlfriend” the word came out of his mouth bitterly “Doesn’t have anything but a thin blanket in a cold night”

Playfully, I pushed him by the arm. “Or….” I gave him a teasing smile “He can sleep beside me. After all, my bed’s too big it can actually fit five people. My blanket’s going to keep him so warm, including my body heat, he’ll surely sweat as if he’s working out”

The atmosphere changed. From joking and teasing, to a blank face that made me nervous again. How stupid I am to fool around with someone who is extremely sensitive as of the moment?

He stayed silent while staring at the floor. “Yaaa” I nudged him using my shoulder. “It’s just a joke”.

No reaction.

“Jiyongie” I called, overly girly even for my ears. I don’t do aegyo (the last time was to fulfill a dare that came from Jiyong during his twenty-seventh birthday).

Five minutes and he’s still silent. I keep on thinking of things on how to bring back his mood but nothing is really going in.

In the end, I gave in. I endured the deafening silence, sitting beside him with my nerves all tensed.

“Are you in a relationship already?” he asked, all of a sudden. I flinched and shook my head. “No, we’re not”. He sighed heavily, still looking down on the floor. “Yet” he whispered loud enough for me to hear.

Why do I feel like Jiyong is going to be hard on me once I get into a relationship, when before he doesn’t really mind it at all? Months ago, he started acting weird whenever I tell him about having a date, becoming even more protective. I know he just wants the best for me, but I hope he’s not going to be a huge wall between me and my possible partner, for I was never like that and will never be like that to him.

“Yah!” I forced him to face me and moved closer. “Don’t you want me to have a boyfriend?”

My question seemed to get him thinking. His eyes dropped to the floor once again, shoulders too. He wants to say something, I can sense it, that maybe he just don’t know how to say it out.

Looking up at me, he smiled. “Not that I don’t want you to have a boyfriend” he take in a breath and exhaled heavily. “I guess I’m just not prepared for it. I mean, all these years all you do is meet men, go out with them once or thrice max, but never really get into a relationship”. Finally, he’s spitting his heart out, though I have a feeling that he’s filtering his words. “From the very beginning I’m the one who protected you, took care of you, and did everything with you. Now, I feel like I won’t be able to do those anymore because there’s already somebody who is in the right position to do them”.

Surprise was clear on my face when a tear dropped on the top of his left hand. Jiyong is crying, and I didn’t expect him to be this emotional.

Laughing at himself, he wiped his tears using the end of his sleeves. “Forget what I said”. He sniffed and looked at me, tears still welling in his eyes. He tried smiling but he just cried more.

Totally moved but surprised by his sudden outburst, I stretched my arms out and he gets in like a child who badly needed a hug for comfort.

his back gently. “Stop crying Jiyongie” I said as he bury his face on my shoulder. “Nothing will change between us, no matter what. You’ll forever be my protector, caretaker and all-around partner. More than that…” I pulled out and cupped his face with both hands, wiping his tears using my thumbs “You’re my best friend. The only person whose place in my life cannot be replaced. No man, can ever go to your level”

Now I understand him better, though I know there’s still some things remaining in his heart. This just proved how much we mean to each other. Funny, because he now knows how I feel whenever he’s in a relationship. But unlike him, I’m just too good in hiding my feelings.

Calm and composed, Jiyong pushed himself up from the floor and stood in front of me. I looked up at him, smiling, as he crouched down to my level. “That guy better behave” he said “Coz one wrong move, I’ll skin and bury him” his voice sounded really scary “ALIVE”

Of course, Jiyong cannot do that, he’s just exaggerating. But, he can give him some if he deserves it. I don’t know if you know, but he’s quite good in fighting (he has knocked down two guys in the past).

He pulled me up to stand. “Aigoo”. I looked at him, teasingly. “You’re really a cry baby”

And, I put myself in danger. He smoothly grabbed me and gave me a headlock. “YAH! YAH! YAH!” I yelled, while hitting his arm. He’s not giving a damn. “Did you just called me a cry baby?”

I rolled my eyes at his childishness. “Yes!” I countered. “Really? I am a cry baby?” he asked, and tightened his arm around my neck playfully.

“Tap!” I yelled, meaning I don’t want to play anymore.

Do you know how annoying it is to be in a headlock? UGH!

Gently, he let go of me and pulled me to him, his arm wrapped around my shoulder. “I’ll go now” he said. I turned my head to him “Aren’t we going to have a BFF night?”

He smiled and planted a kiss on my forehead. “I can’t bear to see you being mushy to someone as of the moment”, and we stopped in front of my apartment. “I need more time”

                                               ****