Soondeok’s diary

A week’s passed and I still can’t remember anything new from the past. Will they ever come back? Will I ever remember? I want to remember, I really want to become that Soondeok that my husband has fallen in love with, but it’s impossible, no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, I’m still a different person to him. Mother told me that the doctor said my new medication will help me remember, but I’ve been taking them for a while now and still no effect. Should I tell mother about this?

Father will have a break soon, a week later at the earliest, will I be able to remember everything before I meet him? He’s my father, he’d know from the first moment he sees me, and I don’t want him to worry about me.

Anyway, I should try to keep my mind off this for now, at least for tonight – the prince and I will have an evening date. I’m not sure how it’ll go, I’m a bit scared actually. I know we’ve been hanging out quite often lately, but somehow officially calling it a date seems to make things a bit different. I don’t want to disappoint him.

Eun’s diary

I have no idea what’s wrong with mother these days! I’m not sick, then why’s she making me take the different tonics from the herbal shop? It’s good for your body, she says, you’ll thank me when you reach my age, she says, I wish I’d started taking care of my body when I was your age, she says.

I wouldn’t complain if they tasted nice, but no, they tasted nasty! So bitter, I’ve never tasted anything so bitter in my life! Then mother would be all fussy and say bitter medicine is the best for your health. Gosh! And you know what’s the worse part of it all? Every night my body will feel super hot, I’d sweat like mad and my urge will grow – it’s driving me crazy! I’d toss and turn in my bed for a long long time before I could finally fall asleep, and you know what’s the worse part of it? The worse part is having Soondeok sleep next to me, she’s right there, sleeping, defenseless – and sometimes her top will loosen and gosh it’s just a torture for me! I was so close to losing it last night, I told mother but all she said was that it’s the medicine at work, pushing all the bad heat inside my body out. Darn it, why does summer have to be so long and hot and sweaty? I hate sweating! Maybe I should just sleep on the floor tonight!

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(Eun finding Soondeok, their carriage will arrive soon to take them to the restaurant but she’s nowhere to be found)

‘Soondeok ah!!!! Deok ah, where are you??? Gosh, she was just there a moment ago! Deok ah!!! Honey!!!! Where are you?? We need to get ready now! The carriage will be here any minute!’

(At last, Eun finds her in a lonely corner of the garden, squatting down in tears. She’s been crying.)

‘Deok ah!’

(Soondeok quickly wipes her face dry and smiles)

‘Your…your highness. I…I’m sorry, let’s go now.’

(Soondeok stands up and goes as she says)

‘Whoa, hold on a second.’

 ‘I’m fine, really your highness. Let’s go.’

(Eun stops her and makes Soondeok look at him)

‘No honey, we’re not going anywhere until you tell me what went wrong. Darling, what’s wrong? Why were you crying, hm? Who made my little dove cry? Who made my baby cry, hm?’

(Eun gives Soondeok a handkerchief)

‘I…’

‘Did someone say something mean to you? I’ll break their bones for you. See my muscles, I’ve been working on them-’

‘No…it’s just that…you know how one of the maids working in the kitchen, her husband passed away earlier this year…but I forgot…I…I didn’t know…and just then…when I bumped into her, I…I asked how her family was…I…’

(Soondeok starts choking on her words again)

‘Oh Soondeok ah…’

‘She cried…as she reminded me that her husband has passed away already…’

‘Did she blame you? Did she shout at you? I ought to talk to her about it!’

‘No! No, your highness, no please don’t. She was nice to me, she understands…it’s just that, I feel so terrible afterwards. I wanted to show her how much I care about her but I ended up hurting her even more…’

‘Honey, she’ll understand, no one will blame you. Your memories will come back in no time.’

‘A week, your highness! It’s been a week! Nothing new, I couldn’t remember anything new…nothing…I don’t think it’ll ever come back to me now.’

‘Don’t be silly.’

‘And…if that happens…your highness will keep suffering because of me…you miss her, don’t you? I know you do. You miss the old me, you miss your time being with her, you miss her very much…and I can’t give you what you want…I can’t…’

‘Shhh, darling, listen.’

‘I’m sorry, your highness, I’m so sorry…I don’t deserve going on a date with you…’

(Eun embraces her and tries to comfort her)

‘Soondeok ah, my dear wife, I’m the one who should be sorry. I should’ve taken the shot myself…I should’ve…but let’s not stay on what we can’t change. Deok ah, we have a bright future ahead of us, just because you can’t remember your past doesn’t mean I love you less, right? And frankly, I got to know the real you a little bit more now. Many times, you say something or does something that your old self wouldn’t usually do, I’d be like “oh, so that’s the real you.” And I love you even more because of that. So don’t be upset anymore, hm? Aigoo, look at your pretty face…how’re we going to go to the restaurants if you cry like this?’

‘D…do I look ugly now?’

‘Not the slightest bit. Let’s get going now, the carriage’s here now I think, we wouldn’t want to arrive late!’

(Eun takes Soondeok by the hand and walks out)

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(After the meal, Soondeok and Eun goes to the night market for a date)

‘Deok ah! Look at this lantern!’

‘Wow! It’s so pretty!’

(Eun talks to the storekeeper)

‘Sir, one lantern for my wife please.’

‘Your highness!’

‘What?’

‘I don’t need a lantern…’

‘Well, then what about that?’

(Eun pulls Soondeok to another store)

‘This hairpin, how about this?’

‘Your highness-’

‘I’d buy everything here please. From this end of the store all the way to that end of the store, all of them.’

(Soondeok gasps then pulls Eun away from the store after apologizing to the lady)

‘Your highness, are you mad?’

‘What? You don’t like it? Oh come on, there’s got to be one out of it all that you’ll find nice.’

‘I don’t need anymore accessories now, your highness. I just got rid of a whole trunkful last week!’

‘Then what? Ah I know! Come, I’ll show you!’

(Eun pulls Soondeok to a store selling paintings and paint brushes)

‘Deok ah, pick your favourite painting, or paint brush, or color. I’ll buy it for you.’

‘I-’

‘Or is it too hard for you to choose? What say I just buy them all? Sir, I’d like to-’

(Soondeok covers Eun’s mouth than drags him aside)

‘Your highness, stop it!’

‘What? What’s wrong?’

‘You don’t need to buy me anything tonight. It’s nice to just walk around, you know, just looking at them and not buy them. Dating is not shopping…’

‘Huh? What fun is there in that? And anyway, isn’t there anything you want? Isn’t that why you wanted a night market date? I thought there’s something you’d like me to buy for you.’

‘Well…actually, there is something I want…’

‘Oh man, Deok ah! You should’ve told me that ages ago! Then I wouldn’t have to make a fool of myself. What is it? Tell me, I’ll find it for you. No one knows this place better than I do!’

‘You, your highness.’

‘Me?’

‘I just want to be with you tonight…doing what you like, going to places where you like to go, doing things that you like to do. That’s all.’

‘What? That’s boring!’

‘Please? Ever since the incident, it’s all about me, your highness’ been focusing on me all the time, and I really appreciate that. But your highness, I too love you, I too want to do things that will make you happy. You, not me.’

‘Oh honey…you’re making me teary…’

‘So tonight, it’s your night!’

‘I…I didn’t expect this to happen…Let’s go home then!’

‘Wh…why?’

‘More stuff to do at home than here, my night right?’

(Eun’s eyebrows twitches, Soondeok takes a step back. Eun laughs)

‘I’m just kidding, Deok ah! Gosh, look at your face!’

(Soondeok sighs with relief then starts sniffing)

‘Mmmm, that smells nice!’

‘You want to try it?’

‘What is it? It smells delicious!’

‘It’s mung bean pancake! Oh you’ll love it, Deok ah! They sell the best one in town here! Way better than those you’ve eaten before, trust me!’

‘But…I’m still a bit full from the dinner just then. What say we walk around a while first, then we can come back and try it out? We can even buy some for mother!’

‘Sure! Ah, Yixing has a shop in this area, want to go?’

‘Oh yes please!’

‘FOLLOW ME!!!’

(Eun leads the way like a kid, jolly and cheerful)

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(It’s getting late, Soondeok waits under a tree for Eun who has gone to buy some snacks for them to eat before they return home. Soondeok looks at the night sky, smiling – the stars seem exceptionally brighter tonight. The busy night market starts to quiet down after a buzzling day.)

‘Soondeok Onni? Is that you?’

(Soondeok turns to see who’s calling her)

‘Yuju? Yuju!!’

‘Onni!! I can’t believe I’ll meet you here!!’

(Hug)

‘My my my! What are you doing here, Onni? It’s the first time I see you hanging out here.’

‘Just having some time with the prince, he’s over there buying stuff right now.’

‘Aww, that’s so sweet of him.’

‘What about you?’

‘Me? Ah, my friends and I were just having our girl’s night out today, we’re finishing off, they’re over there looking at the rings right now, want to say hi?’

‘Na, it’s okay.’

‘I couldn’t believe it! What a coincidence! I heard you’ve been out of town for quite a while.’

‘Yes well…it’s been quite some time.’

‘Oh, by the way, Onni…I’m getting married...and I think it’s going to be real this time…’

‘Really? Congrats! To whom?’

‘I don’t know. Father won’t tell me yet…but I heard that he lives quite far off from here…down in the south…’

‘You thought of finding him and get to know more about him first? I can help you out.’

‘How, Onni? I don’t even know his name…’

‘True…’

‘Onni is so lucky, to marry someone you like.’

‘Oh Yuju…I’m sure your husband will like you too, how can he not? You’re such an educated lovely fine lady.’

‘Really?’

‘Really.’

(Both laughs)

‘Oh Onni~ I was so worried about Onni, since I heard the news, I thought you’d be depressed these days because the day is getting closer. But seeing Onni being so cheerful now, I’m very much relieved.’

‘About what?’

‘You know, about giving the prince a second wife.’

(Soondeok freezes)

‘What? What…what did you just say?’

(Yuju covers )

‘Onni doesn’t know? I…I thought Onni was the one who…I knew something was fishy!’

‘Thought I was what?’

‘I…I better get going, Onni, see you next time.’

(Yuju’s about to leave but Soondeok grabs her wrist)

‘Yuju…what do you know, how much do you know about this? Tell me.’

‘Onni…’

‘I won’t be mad at you, really, it’s not your fault. I want to know, as much as possible.’

‘I…I heard it from mother…she said that you have given permission to the prince’s grandfather to find the prince a second wife…because you can’t…can’t give the prince any children. That’s why his grandfather’s been searching for eligible girls…he came over to our place too a couple of months ago but father rejected him. I would’ve rejected him too, Onni…but later mother said that he’s found someone, a daughter of someone working for His Majesty, someone from a wealthy and powerful family, I’m told…’

(Soondeok slowly breathes out)

‘Onni…you didn’t approve of it, did you? I knew you wouldn’t, you love the prince so much, you’d never let that happen. What in the world was that old man thinking?! Can’t you get the prince to talk to his grandfather about this?’

‘I…this is all too much for me to take in right now…’

‘Oh Onni, it’s all my fault-’

‘No, no it’s not…thanks to you…I got to know about this…’

‘Oh Onni, I hope all will go well for you. Mother said that the wedding will take place on your third wedding anniversary…that stupid law…you’ve got to find a way out of this before then.’

‘I’ll see what I can do. Thank you for telling me, Yuju, and don’t let anyone know that I know, can you do that for me?’

‘Of course! Anything for you, Onni!’

(Soondeok forces a smile)

‘I have to go now, Onni, but I’ll visit you if I can get more information about it.’

‘Thanks, I appreciate it very much.’

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(Bed time – Eun looks at Soondeok as he lies on his back)

‘Ahhh~ What a lovely date we had! Deok ah, let’s do this every week! We went to the east market today, we can go to the north market next time, they have more sweets there! Oh, and the acrobat performances there! You’ll love it!’

‘Will you find it fun if we do that every single week? You’ll get bored of it.’

‘No I won’t~ Not if I’m with you!’

(Soondeok turns around to face the wall. Eun’s smile fades away.)

‘Deok ah, what’s wrong? Aren’t you happy about tonight? Are you angry about something?’

‘I’m really happy, thank you for everything, your highness. Good night.’

(Silence. Something’s not right, Eun can feel it, but he’s afraid to ask. He tries to make Soondeok talk.)

‘Kmmm, so, Deok ah…what…I mean…which part did you like the most? The dinner part or the market part?’

(Silence. Soondeok’s thinking. Maybe not doing anything is the best for everyone. Maybe letting Eun’s grandpa do what he wants to do is what’s best for the prince. Maybe she won’t have to deal with it at all and just watch it all happen.)

‘I personally like the market part more, walking around with my wife really is much better than going shopping by myself.’

‘Your highness.’

‘Hm? What’s wrong?’

‘What if…what if I say I’d like to go on a holiday…by myself. Would you allow it?’

(Eun sits up)

‘Why would you do that? Are you getting annoyed of me? Already?’

(Soondeok sits up quickly in denial)

‘No! Absolutely not, your highness! It’s just that…I think it’d be great if we have some time alone…living separately for a week or two.’

‘You’re mean…are you saying that you’re going to leave your lonely husband behind when you travel around the country and have fun yourself?’

(Eun pouts)

‘Your highness…that’s not what I meant.’

‘Fine, do whatever you want! If you want time alone I’ll let you! Travel all you want! I! DON’T! CARE!’

(Eun lies back down, pulling the blanket up to cover his head – he’s throwing a tantrum again.)

‘Your highness…please don’t be mad…I was just asking…I haven’t even decided on it yet…’

‘I’m not talking to you! Stop talking to me!’

‘Your highness~’

‘Don’t touch me! We’re not friends anymore!’

‘Aigoo, your highness~~~ Stop it okay? I won’t go then, if that’s what you want. Hm? Come on, smile now, I can’t make you frown before you sleep, you’ll get frown-lines.’

‘I’m not frowning.’

‘Show me your face then, your highness~’

‘Why should I? I don’t want to look at you.’

‘Come on~ Oppa~~~ OPPA~~~’

(Soondeok tries to pull the blanket down but Eun won’t let her, so she starts to tickle her husband which works magically)

‘Ya~~~ Stop tickling! Ya!!! PARK SOONDEOK!!!!’

(Eun kicks around and tries to stop his wife from killing him – he too returns an attack and starts tickling her)

‘Oppa! Stop it!!!’

‘You stop first!’

‘You stop first!!!!’

‘No, you stop first!!! Deok ah! Stop it~ HA! Stop! HAHAHA~ Ya! Aish!’

(Eun flips over and pushes Soondeok against the bed, he can feel his blood heating up. He speaks in his deep voice, serious.)

‘I told you to stop it, you’ve brought this on yourself you know, Park Soondeok.’

‘Your…your highness…’

‘How’s that scar of yours? Is it still there?’

‘Y…yes…’

‘How will I know if you’re not lying?’

(Soondeok starts to blush)

‘I…I’m not.’

‘How can I believe in you? I have to see it for myself, see if you’re lying to me.’

‘What…what are you doing?’

(Eun holds onto the knot as he looks at Soondeok, he’s so close to untying her top)

‘What? Don’t want me to?’

(Soondeok nods after some hesitation)

‘Then you shouldn’t have stirred me up in the first place, Deok ah. You know how unbearable it is? A hot-blooded man like I, you know how many long tedious nights it’s been? Suffering as I try to stop my instincts from kicking in.’

‘Please wait a bit longer…it’s…it’s fading…’

‘Is it? I sure do hope so! I’m dying a little day by day!’

‘Your highness…’

(Soondeok locks her eyes on Eun’s lips)

‘What are you staring at, Deok ah?’

‘Nothing…’

(Eun moves his lips to show-off)

‘Want to taste it?’

‘I…a…a bit…I mean…no…I mean…not that I won’t dislike it…’

‘Ha, not going to give it to you!’

(Eun frees Soondeok)

‘Not tonight, Deok ah, not tonight. Let’s just sleep, before I lose my grip.’

‘I love you, your highness…’

‘Message not accepted.’

‘What?’

‘I said, message not accepted.’

‘Why? I really do love you, your highness.’

‘Identity denied.’

‘Oh…your highness…you can’t possibly make me call you that.’

‘Error, please try again.’

(Soondeok giggles)

‘Why do you sound like that? Is this a new game of yours? Aigoo…fine, here I go. I love you, Oppa~’

‘Closer…’

‘I love you, honey.’

(Eun grins)

‘Message accepted.’

(Soondeok giggles.)

‘Your highness, I think I can call you Oppa now.’

(Eun sits up)

‘Really? You can?’

‘Well…I won’t blush when I call you Oppa, so I guess…yeah. Oppa, yes, but not honey-’

‘Congrats! Here’s your gift then, Deok ah!’

‘Wait-’

(Eun pulls Soondeok in by her neck and kisses her on the lips, Soondeok wraps her arm around her husband’s back without forcing herself to. Eun’s hand starts to run softly on her collarbone as Soondeok moves her hand around and feels his chest. Eun flings himself on her and their kiss starts to get more intense. All of a sudden, Soondeok remembers something. She forces the kiss to stop and stares at her husband – eyes widened.)

‘Oppa! I remembered something, just then!’

‘Daebak! Tell me, Deok ah!’

(Soondeok’s so shocked that she pushes Eun off of her and sits up, pulling the blanket to her chest)

‘Oppa! I remember! That trip! That trip from your grandpa’s house to the temple where we met Haesoo and Prince So!’

‘Really? What more?’

‘We….we…’

(Soondeok screams as she covers her ears)

‘What what what what? Deok ah, calm down, what’s wrong?’

‘Oppa, don’t you come close to me!’

‘What’s wrong?’

‘I remember, Oppa…what we did in that carriage…’

‘What did we do?’

(Eun thinks for a moment then bursts out laughing)

‘HAHAHAHA! Deok ah! Oh I see! Oh so that’s why you’re so shocked! Gosh! Oh my tummy! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!’

‘It’s not funny, Oppa! I must be crazy back then! Crazy crazy crazy! How did I…how did we…why on earth did we do that in the carriage?! You’re insane! You’re crazy! You’re mad!’

(Eun tries to stop himself from collapsing in laughter)

‘Now, aigoo my stomach…Now hold on a second young lady. If I remember correctly, YOU were the one who wanted to do it in the carriage, it was NOT my idea.’

‘Still you should’ve stopped me! Gosh, help me get that scene out of my head!!!! YA!!!’

(Soondeok keeps shaking her head, as if that’ll somehow help her shake away her memories of that occation. Eun’s been laughing so hard that he can hardly breathe – his face becomes cherry red as he tries to calm himself down from the laughter)

‘Oh my dear wife! Think of it on the bright side! At least now you know what to expect! That afternoon was pretty intense…’

‘I am NEVER going to let that happen again – NEVER!’

‘Deok ah, you just forgot the fun of it.’

‘I was…you were…Urgh…horrible! Ahh!!! Why did you have to kiss me??? You said you wouldn’t kiss me tonight!!! Uhh!!!’

(Soondeok buries her face in her pillow and scream, wanting to kick away that piece of memory she now regrets retaining. Eun lies on his elbow and looks at his miserable wife as she rubs her face into the pillow in despair)

‘Deok ah, since you remember it already. Why don’t we just-’

(Eun stops as soon as Soondeok looks at him, staring him straight into his eyes)

‘Na-uh. You are not coming anywhere near me till I let you. Stay at least one foot away from me at all times.’

‘Darling, you can’t do this to me, we just got a bit closer…’

‘This…this is my side of the bed and that is your side of the bed, clear? And…ah! Yes, this pillow here.’

(Soondeok puts a pillow between them)

‘Don’t you dare cross this line, Oppa, you hear me?’

‘Doesn’t this seem familiar, Deok ah?’

‘What is?’

‘Remember when we first got married, I made the line between us…remember?’

‘I should’ve been more grateful for that.’

(Eun sighs)

‘Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to grit and bear it then, think of it as both of us getting even.’

(Eun yawns)

‘Let’s sleep, Deok ah…I’m dead tired.’

(Soondeok eyes Eun suspiciously)

‘You won’t touch me, right?’

‘Relax, Deok ah, I promise you I won’t. Yikes.’

‘Well then…good…good night…Oppa…’

(Finally both of them settles down, but Soondeok can’t sleep a wink that night – not with those scenes popping up every five minutes making Soondeok want to hide in a hole)