Eun’s diary

Mission accomplished! I have successfully tricked Soondeok and brought her to find Yixing with me! She was mad at first, of course, but soon she started to enjoy the trip herself. That’s the only way she’ll agree to come with me – mother taught me how to make her, she really is brilliant! Anyways, I’m glad we have returned just in time for Soondeok’s birthday. I promised I’ll make a party for her and mother said she’s prepared everything for the party tomorrow. Oh how exciting! It’ll be Soondeok’s first birthday party!

I met Yixing, I missed him so! He looked drained, he had to travel near and far to do business and when he returns to his hometown for a rest, he has lots of guests and gatherings to go to. I wish he could come back to Goryeo with me, to have a proper holiday, but I know it’s not possible now. I’ll wait. I know he misses me as much as I do. He sure was surprised to see me arriving the city with his merchant line – we had dinner together, just the two of us. Soondeok wanted us to chat to our heart’s content, my little sister really is so considerate. We talked about tonnes of stuff. He told me stories of the far west, how he endured sand storms in Persia and how he hiked the mountains after a landslide. I asked him if he’s thought of marrying, but he shook his head saying he’s too busy with work for love. I understand, I believe Yixing is married to his work.

He asked about me, about my marriage life – I told him everything, he’s someone I trust so I told him all there is to know. He said something funny though as we said goodbye, he said, ‘Your highness, sometimes the ones we don’t know the most is ourselves. To know ourselves, we need to listen to our hearts, to listen to our hearts, we must look at the actions we take. From what I’ve heard and seen these couple of days, your highness, your wife means more to you than you think. I hope you can realize that before it’s too late.’ What could he possibly mean? Is he saying that I actually have started to like Soondeok? Not as my little sister but…as my wife? As my woman? I’ve always thought love is like a firework, it’ll hit you hard and knock you down – but could there be another kind of love of which its arrival is silent and its presence…unnoticed?

Soondeok’s diary

I’m back, I’m finally back. After travelling for months! You have no idea what I’ve gone through in the past 3-4 months or so! Come to think of it, I’m still a bit mad. So that day Eun took me for a picnic – he tricked me! He said he knows a good spot somewhere so I followed him and after riding for a long time, I asked him where we’re going then he smiled mischievously and said, ‘To the West sea’. Heck! I was mad! He said he wanted to go there with me but afraid that I won’t agree so he did this! He told me to consider it even since last time I tricked him into going to the border when the king died.

Eventually, I agreed – no point in returning home then, so we carried on and made it to the West sea after travelling for 2 days. We had a nice time there, we raced each other on the beach, galloping as seagulls flew above us, as we hear the waves crashing against the shore – I was winning but then Eun jumped to my horse. We fell in the water and as he tried to escape, I pulled his leg and he collapsed back. We fought for a while – I was really really furious then, so furious I wanted to punch him! But then he pulled me down and kiss me on the forehead…what happened didn’t matter. Will I never be able to get mad at him? Every time I want to yell at him he would do things that makes me smile again. We laid there in silence on the sand as the waves come to us gently. For once, I acted wild. For once, I was happy. For once, I did things without thinking about the consequences.

Eun got us this nice room by the sea and we watched the sunset together on the beach. He let me sit next to him while watching it, it was beautiful. But Eun had something else in mind – of which I didn’t know back then. Gosh, that kid! I can’t believe I have fallen in love with him! You’ll never believe what happened next! After spending a few days by the west sea, he proposed getting on a boat and go to some islands – I agreed innocently, thinking how awesome it would be to visit the islands and enjoy the sceneries there. The prince and I got on a boat and we sailed off, without me knowing where we’re going at first. Then after a while, Eun said he’s got us a room on the boat for us to stay in. I got confused, is the island far off? I asked him about it and again…he smiled mischievously then said, ‘Deok ah, we’re going to the middle lands now! This is Yixing’s merchant ship! Deok ah! I can finally see Yixing and visit the middle lands!!! Both of us! We can finally go there together!’ He was so happy, I couldn’t get mad – at least I couldn’t show that I was.

Angry? Sure I was angry! What if something happens? What if we get lost? What if we were never to return to Goryeo again? I was engulfed by fear at that moment, not knowing what to say, so I walked on the deck and looked out the wide sea in front of me – endless blue. He came to me and hugged me from behind saying, ‘Sorry, Soondeok ah…I should’ve told you. But I was afraid you’ll fuss about it and not let me go. Please don’t be sad…you have me, don’t you?’ How can I be sad or angry after hearing him say that? He melted my heart with his words – so I buried my worries in my heart, praying that this trip will go well.

It’s fortunate that we’ve returned safely and that Eun got to meet his friend Yixing when we were there at last. He must’ve missed his friend so, because I saw tears in his eyes as he embraced Yixing when we finally met him. We could’ve returned earlier if it weren’t for the winter season – we can’t take the boat back due to the rough winter sea so we have to come back by land and the heavy snow on the way really slowed us down. But I wasn’t lonely. Like what the prince has said, I have him, that’s all it mattered.

He took care of me along the way, like a real man. People say one will mature lots by going on trips, I guess it’s true. We talked about lots of things along the way, especially at night before we sleep – like best friends. There was this one night when it was so cold, we huddled together in the blanket to keep warm – then Eun took my freezing hands and put it on his chest. Gosh, that was embarrassing, I wanted to lift my hands but he was strong, he kept it there saying, ‘What? Embarrassed? Who cares? There’s only two of us here in this tent.’ With the feeling of his beating heart and heaving chest with my hands, I fell asleep in his embrace that night. Man…why am I writing this down? It’s making me blush again…It’s nice to sleep in our room again. I now have to sleep on the floor next to Eun’s bed because mother stuffed the corner where I used to sleep with more bookshelves after knowing how much I love reading. It’ll be harder for me to sneak out at night now…since I’m so close to Eun, he might wake up when I get up.

-----------------------------

(Eun talking to his mother at night)

‘Son, you should go to bed now, it’s getting late.’

‘It’s been nice chatting with you, mother. I’ve missed you so much. I wish I could take you with us. The sceneries really are magnificent, omma.’

‘I’m glad you had fun. Go on now, your wife would be waiting.’

‘Ah, mother, tomorrow we’ll have to visit Soondeok mother’s grave first, we’ll be back in the afternoon.’

‘I know what to do, I’ve got all the things set for the surprise party tomorrow night. Aigoo, my boy…you’ve grown up so much.’

‘Omma~’

‘Ya, by the way, Eun ah…have you been making Soondeok sleep on the floor?’

‘W-What? I…of course not mother!’

‘Ah huh? Really?’

‘I…’

‘Eun ah. Are you even a man? I mean…not liking her is one thing…not sleeping with her is another thing.’

‘Omma! This is a matter between Soondeok and I! Please just…’

‘Should I help you, Eun ah? I know this wine that can…’

‘Omma! It’s not I can’t, it’s just I won’t, alright?’

‘You! Look at you! Are you making your mother angry now? You “won’t”? Eun ah, why not?’

‘Soondeok is still so young, mother.’

‘Don’t give me that excuse, when I was her age, you’re already kicking around inside my womb!’

‘Omma!’

‘Don’t make me force you to, Eun ah.’

‘Omma! It’s not like you can force me to.’

‘Really? Have your mother ever failed to do anything when I’ve set my mind to it?’

‘Just…give me some time, mother. G-goodnight!’

(Eun escapes to his room)

‘Oh? Your highness, what happened? You hiding from bugs?’

‘W-why did you say that?’

‘You rushed into the room, didn’t you, just then? Is something wrong?’

‘N-never mind. Let’s just sleep.’

(Candles out, both laying there in silence)

‘S-Soondeok ah…what say you sleep on the bed with me tonight?’

‘No.’

‘Why not?’

(Silence)

‘Ah…you’re still mad at me? For taking you on the trip? Ya, Soondeok ah, you enjoyed the trip as well yourself, didn’t you?’

‘I did…but…’

‘What’s wrong? Tell me, I’ll apologize if you want me to.’

‘Oppa…do you not trust me?’

‘What?’

‘I mean…you said you didn’t tell me because you’re afraid I won’t let you go and bring you back to the capital, right? I thought…our trust’s deeper than that, we are brother and sister after all.’

‘It’s not I don’t trust you, Deok ah, it’s just that…’

‘Please just let me be by myself tonight. I’m not mad at you, Oppa, really.’

‘Fine…’

(Suddenly maid calls from outside the room)

‘Oh no! Deok ah, give me your blanket and your pillow! Here, put it on my bed – you go and answer.’

(Soondeok goes over to the door)

‘What is it? Oh, Yongju ah…what’s wrong?’

‘Lady Soondeok…it’s…’

‘I get it, I’ll go, wait for me in the store room, I’ll be there in a minute.’

(Soondeok puts on something warm then goes out)

‘Deok ah, where are you going? What’s wrong?’

‘It’s nothing, Oppa, I’ll be back soon.’

(Soondeok leaves)

‘Ya! Soondeok ah!’

(Eun follows her quietly and hides outside the storeroom)

‘Lady Soondeok…what should we do? Your mother’s jewellery…there’s not many left.’

‘Then what about mine?’

(Yongju opens jewellery box)

‘Still lots…Lady Soondeok, shouldn’t we let your mother know?’

‘No! Don’t! You must not let her know, I’ll solve the problem...somehow.’

‘What about the prince? He gets money from the palace every month but he never uses it…’

‘Don’t! The prince must not know either…I’ll think of something. For now, when mother tells you to sell one piece, take 2-3 pieces from my set.’

‘But she’ll know, Lady Soondeok, the money won’t match.’

‘Just tell her the person working there is really kind and generous one, she’ll believe in you, Yongju ah.’

‘I understand, Lady Soondeok.’

‘It’s getting late, you should go rest now.’

‘What about you, Lady?’

‘I need to look for something here.’

(Eun hides, maid leaves, Eun sneaks into the storeroom. Eun suddenly pops out in front of Soondeok, making Soondeok scream.)

‘AHH!!!!!’

(Eun covers Soondeok’s mouth.)

‘Deok ah, it’s me. Shh.’

‘Oppa…what are you doing here?’

(Sounds from outside)

‘Did you hear that? Someone screamed. Is it from the storeroom?’

(Eun grabs Soondeok’s hand then pulls her to a corner – pinning her to the wall as some servants come into the room)

‘That’s weird…I was sure I heard someone screaming here.’

‘Ya, no one is here, let’s just go.’

(Servants leave)

‘Mmmmmmm’

‘Soondeok ah, what is it?’

‘Mmmm!!!’

‘Oh, my hand! Sorry.’

(Eun removes his hand from Soondeok’s mouth)

‘Oppa, why are you here? Gosh! You just came out in your pajamas? You wanna catch a cold? Here, wear this.’

(Soondeok gives her coat to Eun then walks away. Eun grabs her by the waist then drags her to the floor, pinning her down.)

‘Oppa! What are you doing?’

‘Where do you think you’re going?’

‘Back to our room of course.’

‘Why did you come here? What did the maid say to you?’

‘I…’

‘You fool, I heard everything.’

‘Oppa…I was…’

‘Ha! This is getting interesting! Just a few minutes ago you talked about me not trusting you. Looky here! You didn’t tell me you were selling your jewels without mother knowing! Why? Tell me!’

‘Oppa, I have my own reasons.’

‘Nonsense! Spill the beans now!’

(Both stares at each other)

‘It’s…after the king, your father, died…the palace cut off mother’s…’

‘No way! They would never do such a thing!’

‘But…it’s true.’

‘So mother’s been selling off her stuff?’

‘I told Yongju to exchange mine with mother’s, her jewelleries are safe with me.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me? I’ve got money!’

‘It’s more complicated than you think, Oppa.’

‘Soondeok ah, next time things like this happens, tell me, understand? I’m the head of this family now, I need to know.’

‘Yes…Oppa.’

‘I appreciate what you did, Deok ah, really. But I can’t let you carry all the burden when I should be the one carrying it. You’re too precious to me, I can’t let you, understand?’

‘Oppa…’

(Eun gets up then helps Soondeok up)

‘Let’s go back, it’s getting late.’

‘Oppa, you’re not mad?’

‘More like…feeling sorry, to you…and to mother. Don’t worry, Deok ah, I’ll deal with this matter myself.’

‘And Oppa, please…’

‘I won’t let mother know, don’t worry.’

‘How did you know I was going to ask that?’

‘We’ve been together for this long, haven’t we?’

(Eun puts the coat back on Soondeok then takes her hands and leaves)