Taeyeon’s POV

 

“Good morning . . Taeyeon . . .” A smiled, automatically plastered on my face as soon as I saw this message of him. I was already typing my reply when he called up.

“I was just about to reply and here you are . . .”

“haha I just cant wait to hear your voice, Taeyeon”

“hmmm . . . What are you doing now?”

“I’m still at the hotel waiting for you, are you on your way now? ”

“Ah yeah, just wait for me there . . .” After a minute or so, I reach the hotel.

“Hi . .” he quickly greeted me as soon as I parked my car.

“Can’t you wait me up there? You really waited me here at the basement”
”Of course, were free here , unlike upstairs, theres a lot of eyes looking at us”

“Stop . . . someone might see us”

“Ok ok . .. “ and he gave me a big tight hug.

“By the way, I’ll be leaving soon, well tomorrow in exact . . .”he suddenly speak. I somehow felt sad and worried, knowing that he’ll be away again and the possibility of repeating the past is so big.

“So you’ll be back so Seoul tomorrow . . .”

“Yeah . . . .my vacation time here is almost over”

“ahh . . .” I just sigh in disappointment. I pulled away from him and look away.

“Why?” he gently ask.
”Nothing, I just feel sad, now that your going back, I guess we’ll be back to what we were before, we’ll be over . . .”

“Is that what you’re worrying about?”

“Baek . . . this already happened before and look at what happened to us? It didn’t ended well.”

“Shhh. . .That’s all in the past, were different now There still an us, when I leave”

“How can I be sure? It happened before . . . “

“Trust me, this time, ,Taeyeon trust me, I’m not the old Baekhyun you knew, this time,I’ll more sure about this, and I assure you when I got there, I’ll always call you and I promise that I will never ever leave you again, I’ll be back for you”

I don’t know if I’ll believe him or not, because I’ve seen this before, and  I don’t want to wait for nothing, just what I did before, I’ve waited for him, until he didn’t call me anymore, I don’t want to feel that pain again.

“Don’t you trust me Taeyeon?”

“I do . . .thats why I’m scared” I said in almost teary eyes. And he hugged me in return.

“I hope I can see you tonight. . . lets have dinner, if its ok with you, it will be our last dinner together” he said as he break the hug

“Sure . . .” I smiled

“Ok I’ll wait for you then . . .” and he kissed me goodbye. I was sitting in my office when Sooyoung suddenly came in.

“Hey! . . Taeyeon, are you ok? Are you dozing out there?”

“ah haha sorry, what is it?”
”Ah I have here the files you needed for this years report”

“Oh ok . . .just leave it there”

“Wait, did you cry, you’re eyes look red”

“Huh? Ah nothing don’t mind me”
”Ey! Tell me who did this? Is it Baekhyun? If I know that he hurt you, I’ll blow him out here, not because I like him for you, I’ll let him hurt you again, uh uh one is enough my dear!”

“Chill Sooyoung, He didn’t hurt me,ok”

“Then why on earth are you crying? What is it that bothering you?”

“Its just that . . . he’ll leave tomorrow, he’ll be back to Seoul tomorrow morning”
”Oh my. . .don’t tell me, you two will end up again?”

“I hope not, but he promised me, that this will never get to that point again, but . . .”

“But your hesitating, right?”

“Should I trust him again Sooyoung?”
”Why not? If you feel that his sincere then go! Trust him . . .”

“But I’m afraid that he might do it again” Sooyoung just curiously look at me.

“Do you think he’ll do it this time? after all that happened? You already said that he already change”
”I don’t know . . .”

We were fine when he first left me before, we continued our communication, even though were not meeting up, since were too far from each other. That was our first secret relationship, but it didn’t last because one day came that he didn’t call up nor message me. And that’s what I’m worrying about. What if he’ll do it again?

“Taeyeon, just try him, you wont lose on trying, if it works then it will, if not, then be strong, you wont survive this complicated love, if you wont try”

“Sooyoung, what about Dean?”
”Does he matter now? Why you still can’t let him go? You already said it, your relationship with Dean is not working out, Your not happy with him ever since, but why can’t you leave him?”
”Because I owe him my life . . .what I have right now, what I am right now is because of him, I wont be sitting here, or talking to you right now if without him . . .”

“Is that it? You kept on holding onto him, because of gratitude? Isn’t it enough that you stayed with him for 15 years for you to payback that gratitude your saying? Taeyeon this isn’t the old days, where you sacrifice your happiness because of that gratitude, were on the modern days now.  15 years is enough Taeyeon, you already pay him back what he gave you, its time for you to pay yourself now.”

I want to do it, I want to break up with him now but I can’t, I don’t know whats holding me back.

“Or do you love him Taeyeon? . . .” I was speechless, I can’t even react to that question, Am I? or am I not? Sooyoung left me with that hanging question, I’m glad she gave me time to think about that. I was in the middle of my thought when suddenly . . .

“Yah. . .yah. . .yah Taeyeon!! . . .Taeyeon!”  Hyoyeon came running in my office

“oh Hyoyeon, what is it?”

“Someone wants to see you . . .its very urgent “
”huh . . . .Who is it?”

“Ah name is Heize, she said she was the wife of Dean? I don’t know . . . ”

“Who?” I was surprise to hear that.

“Wife? Dean’s wife? How on earth did he have a wife?” These are the thought that had been playing in my mind. Out of curiosity, I face her.

“Ahh Miss Heize?. . .”

“Hi, . . .  so your Kim Taeyeon . . .hmmm . . . well your not what I expected”

“Ahh yes that’s me, but Do we know each other?”

“No, But I think we know one person, Dean”
”Ahh whats about my boyfriend?”
”Uh ..  boyfriend? Well It seems you didn’t knew, well of course you wouldn’t know, Allow me to introduce myself to you. I am Kwon Da Hye, simply Heize, the legal and true wife of your said boyfriend, Dean”

“Ahh What? You must be mistaken, my Dean is not married, we’ve been together for 15years, how could he be married to you?”
”Ah hahaha of course, What do I expect from a mistress . .. “ I was kind of hurt, when she called me a mistress, somehow I am one.

“Well for your information, Dean a.k.a your Boyfriend, is my husband, and we are married for 23 years, living in Seoul, and have one son. . . .” I was speechless, I don’t know if I should listen to what this woman is telling me.

“You want proof? Here . .  Take a look” and she showed me some pictures of them together, some were from their wedding photos. I was completely shocked, I couldn’t believe that Dean lied to me, I cant believe, that he present himself to me as a single young man 15 years ago, and I can’t believe that he did this to me. How could he? . ..

“Now that I’ve met you, I wouldn’t think that its right for me to waste my precious time, on such a pathetic woman like you, Well I cant blame you, to like my husband, he’s handsome, rich, and a bit romantic, haha but sorry, I am here to tell you that, Wake up girl! He was already taken, so I’m warning you. “

I just stood there, trying to process well what she just told me, that I didn’t notice that she was already standing close to me, leaning on my ear and said.

“Leave my husband alone . . . or else . . .that’s not what your daughter will get, and I’ll make sure you wouldn’t like it . .. or do you?” I was taken aback by what she said.

“So you’re the one who did that to my daughter?”
”Well its not literally me, but I call my men to do it for me . . .Isn’t it brilliant? “

“How dare you!” I was on the verge of slapping her face, but then. . .

“uh uh . .. don’t you dare lay your dirty finger on my face, I’m sure you wouldn’t like what I will do next, so think twice . ..”I was literally crying on my spot as I let her step on me, at that moment I just want to be pull down the ground in embarrassment.    

“Oh Nice to meet you Taeyeon, But I hope this wouldn’t be the last time we’ll see each other” she smilingly said as if she’s saying goodbye to a friend.

“What a plastic woman” I thought, She then hugs me and whispered.

“Dont let me see you again or else, you knew my consequence.” She sound so scary, but when she break the hug, she was all smile.

“Bye Taeyeon!” She smilingly said before dashing out of my sight, I was left broken on my spot. Seems like my world stop for quite some time, I’ve lost my word. No words can describe how painful it is to knew that the person I’ve trusted for over a decade, had lied to me, and this woman who surprisingly showed up herself, is now threatening me and my daughter, I don’t know what I will do now. I just met a devil, in disguise.

“Taeyeon!” Thank goodness, Sooyoung came in.  

“Taeyeon, what happened? Who’s that girl?”
”She- . .. she’s . . .”
”She’s Dean’s wife, Sooyoung” I heard Hyoyeon speak.

“What? I knew it, that guy is really  . . .ARGGHHH!!”

“Relax Soo, we don’t know if that woman is telling the truth or not, so don’t assume yet”

“Hyo, that woman wouldn’t go this far if that’s only a joke, . . .Tell me Taeyeon What else did she told you?”

“She hurt my daughter Sooyoung, she . . .she . .. . “

“What do you mean?”

“She was the reason why Hanni got an accident”

”WHAT?! Wahh!! You should have told me Hyoyeon . . . that woman should had felt my hand on her think plastic face, how dare her hurt my beautiful niece!!”  

“Easy Sooyoung, Sorry Taeyeon, I could,’t do anything”

“Its ok Hyo . . .”

“ You know what, Why don’t you call Dean, confront him now, don’t let this pass Taeyeon I’m telling you!”

Hearing Heize words torn me into pieces, I can’t believe what I’ve just heard. Why I didn’t notice that? Why did I trust Dean so much? Why Dean do that? Why? Of all people Why did he do that to me? . . . I felt so terrible, the pain I was feeling was too much to handle.

“Taeyeon, tell me honestly, do you have any feelings for him?”
”I don’t know Sooyoung,I don’t know! . . . Dean had been my companion all this years and knowing this is . . . I don’t know what I should feel about that. I knew I shouldn’t feel this way, but why? I must be happy that now I have a reason for me to leave him, but . . . .”

“But you can’t, right? . . .” Hyoyeon said

“Why do I feel like this Hyoyeon? I’m hurting deep inside. I can’t believe that Dean lied to me I just can’t accept it, all these years, he hide everything. . .Why? Why did he do that? ”

“Taeyeon if your saying that, then that means, you must have had a feeling for him, you wouldn’t feel hurt like that if its nothing . . .”

“Am I Hyoyeon? Do you think, I had loved him . . .”
”I think so, you must be denying it that’s why you didn’t notice it, Don’t say that you couldn’t love him, you did, although its not as much as you love Baekhyun. Yes, Baekhyun is your love of your life, but you mustn’t deny the fact that you did love Dean, because you did. What your feeling now, is natural, you felt cheated, because somehow Dean became an important man to you . . .”

“Then I guess I have your answer to my question earlier. The question now is . . . . Will you let him go?“

It may seem easy to answer that, but no, Its way too hard. Even though I learned the truth, still I cant let him go, there’s a side of me that still wanting him. Dean played an important role in my life, and to my daughters life. I can’t just change it and wash it away that easy. I’ve been dependent on him too much, that I can’t let him go, even though I have no feelings for him . ..  or do I?

 

“Taeyeon . .  just a friendly advise, learn to let go, you’ll just hurt yourselves, if you continue holding onto him, because of your gratitude to him, No. . . Don’t do it. You wont be happy. Actually you should have let him go, earlier, when you knew that you couldn’t love him, You shouldn’t allow this to go this far . . . .now can your let him go? Now that you already learn to love him. You’ll just hurt both of them. ”

 

What Hyoyeon said is true. I played too safe, afraid of being left behind, so I hold onto someone I shouldn’t hold onto the first place. I was so selfish, even though I don’t want it, I just hurt both of them. I was the real player here, none of them has the fault. I am to blame on this. I accept that.

I was at the garden trying to solve my biggest problem. When someone catches my attention.

“Taeyeon? . . .”

“Yoona? . . .”

“OH MY GOSH!! Its you!!! AHHH . . . .”

“Yoona? Your here?”

“Ah yes! I came here last night for a vacation, where were you?I couldn’t find you last night”        

“ahh  . . .. “ Although I already knew that she was here, I still cant believe that she’s standing right in front of me.

“Hey Taeyeon, are you alright? You know what lets have lunch cause I’m seriously hungry, so lets go?” Without waiting for my reply she drag me out to her car. I was in complete  silence all through out the ride, Yoona must have felt the awkward silence so she start the conversation.

“So how are you Taeyeon, its been a while since we last met, hows life?”

“Great, Happy . . .”

“Good . . . I heard you’re a hotel supervisor now, congratulations”

“Thanks . . .How about you, are you still in acting”

“Ahh well I just had a break after my long drama series, I just came from France after we shoot our reality show, so I had my vacation now”

“Oh well I heard your latest drama were a success, Congratulations!”

“Aww . . .Thank you! . . . oh isn’t that the place we use to go here?”

“Ah yes, I’m glad you still remember that . . .”    After wearing her full mask and cap, we head out to our favorite restaurant, we had our favorite comfort food, ramen.

“Wow, this is so delicious, it still taste the same, I love it  . . .” After some time, we had to finish o