Note: Words in blue, italicized and underlined refer to links of songs for your reference (just in case you're not much aware of the song, though. hihi).

Yuri POV

*29th-of-December-2016*

I couldn't sleep last night. I just had my eyes closed the whole time, pretending I'm sleeping so Jessica wouldn't get to notice me. What happened after the final paintball battle has made me gone crazy, I think. No matter how much I try to close my eyes, chanting command to myself to sleep, I couldn't even do so. The thought of her is really killing me...

That moment we shared still lingers my mind until at this very minute. Everything's still crystal clear for me. I still can remember every single bit.

I almost thought of kissing her. I almost fell and lost to the moment. It felt like no one was around us. It felt like I was drawn back to the past, our past when we're still together. I felt... I felt happy... so joyful... my heart seemed to have fluttered in joy throughout that moment too...

Yet, I know it was wrong... It was so damn wrong...

*Sigh*. Yuri... Let it go. Just forget about it...

It's just a hug, a very simple friendly gesture...

There's nothing to worry about...

6:30 AM, Jessica's already up and out of the bed. After she took an early bath in the morning, she headed out of the room. Throughout the whole time, I pretended I was still sleeping, though. When she left, I decided to take an early bath too.

After I had myself readied, I went out of the room. I saw Yoong rushing out of their bedroom looking so much in a panic. When he's about to pass by me, I asked, "What's going on?"

"N-nothing, hyung. Wait. I'll just be getting water downstairs." he responded then quickly rushed downstairs.

I took a peek in their room. Stephanie was there sitting on the bedside, crying. She's weeping nonstop. And by just taking a glance at her, you'll know she's severely depressed. It's probably due to her nightmare again as what our friends said most of the time.

She's been like this ever since we met up again. Well, Yoong and Jessica told me she's been having nightmares even before I came back. But... what could be the reason then? Me? Well, I'm already back alive. There's no more reason for her to be depressed. In fact, it should be replaced by hatred for me, right? I don't get this at all, really...

She... She was so much okay yesterday...

Don't tell me... every now and then she's just pretending she's okay?

Soon, Yoong finally got back with a pitcher and a glass of water. He quickly assisted her from drinking it and sat beside her. He rubbed her back to make her calm down. I then heard another bedroom door opened. It was Sunkyu who just went out of his room and looking at me in confusion. Then, after he realized, he rushed towards the door where I'm standing. He then snapped in panic, "Umma, what happened?" He rushed towards her and attended to her. "Same nightmare again?"

She finally calmed down a bit and answered, "I'm okay. You two shouldn't worry about me that much."

"But, umma..."

She looked at him and smiled faintly, "I'll be okay. Why don't you go ahead downstairs and have breakfast?"

"Let's eat together. I'll stay here with you and appa til you're okay."

"No. You and your Yoong-appa can leave me alone. I'm already okay now. Stop worrying, please."

"Kyu, why don't you head downstairs first. We'll catch up with you." Yoong snapped at him.

"O-okay." he answered and scratched the back of his head. Before he got out of the room, he snapped, "Don't leave her alone, appa."

"Alrighty," Yoong answered.

Afterwards, he closed the bedroom door then glanced at me for a bit. Then, he walked away towards the stairs. "Sunkyu, wait." I snapped.

He stopped from walking and turned to face me. "What do you want?"

"What's going on with your mom?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Sh-she's still depressed?"

"..."

"Why is she even depressed?"

"Isn't the reason obvious too?"

Because of me?

I responded, "I- I still don't get it. There's no reason for her to get depressed."

"Shouldn't you be the one to know why she's still suffering? Whose fault is it? Who do you think it is?"

"B-but..."

He scoffed, "Why do you even care, anyway? Stop giving a damn about my mother, okay. You're already out of lives so just mind your own business." He turned and walked away, leaving me behind alone.

---

     "One night and one more time

      Thanks for the memories even though they weren't so great

      'He tastes like you, only sweeter'~"

      One night, yeah, and one more time

      Thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories

      See, 'he tastes like you, only sweeter', oh~"

Taeyeon sang while having large headphones on and air drumming. Apparently, we're here in the gigantic living room of the rest house while waiting for the breakfast to be served at the dining room.  The two of us were seated a little bit far away from the others, though.

Taeyeon removed his headphones as soon as the music he's been listening to has ended. He snapped at me, "Dude, we really should continue our rock band. Maybe, we can just try it out for a simple studio or something."

"Well, have Sooyoung already learned an instrument that he could play?"

He sighed loudly, "Maybe we should just drop him out of the group. We can have Jessica or Sunkyu join us then. Sunkyu knows how to play guitar now, anyway."

"Shh. Don't let Sooyoung hear you. He'll get mad at you for sure."

"But, man... we could have been a great rock band, you know. We wasted our ten years of waiting for Sooyoung to learn how to play anything. He jeopardized our dream, man."

I chuckled, "Just let it go, Taeng. We're already old to form a rock band, anyway."

"We're just 27, dude. We can still pull this off. SKY has a recording label, you know. We can record our first album under your company."

I repeated, "Just let it go, Taeng."

He sighed loudly, "You are really such a killjoy. You never changed."

"If you wanted to sing so badly, Taeng, we can just have some karaoke tonight." Hyoyeon suggested as she headed for the other girls.

"Hmmm. I wanna play, you know."

I butted in, "In our rock band, Taeng, you have no instrument. You're the vocalist. You can just sing in a karaoke if you want."

He looked at me boringly, "Dude, you really love spoiling my fun, don't you?"

"I'm just stating a fact, okay."

He sighed loudly again, "Fine. Let's just have karaoke tonight."

"Great!" Hyoyeon cheered. "That will be our agenda for tonight then. Karaoke night!" Then, she sat on the floor to join the other girls.

"Good morning!" Stephanie shouted cheerfully as she came into the living room along with Yoong. The latter sat beside Kyu and they started to play Chess again on his iPad.

Hmmm. Now, she looked normal. It's like as if nothing to her earlier. *Sigh*.  Seriously, why does she always love to pretend she's okay so much? She never changed.

"Tiff." Jessica called. "You're just in time for a new round. Come join us."

"Oooh, Jenga!" she sat on the floor beside my fiancé. Apparently, the girls decided to play Jenga while waiting for the food too.

Sooyoung then just got back from the kitchen. "Damn. Why are they taking so long with the food?" He sat beside Taeyeon.

Taeyeon then answered, "Dude, it's only 7 AM. It just so happens we all woke up early."

He sighed, "But, I'm starving already."

"You'll just be eating mediocre food, anyway. What's with the excitement?"

"Mediocre or not, it's still food and I'm already hungry!" Sooyoung shouted back angrily.

I interfered on their argument and snapped at Taeng, "Can I ask you something?"

"Yeah?"

I lowered my voice as I glanced over Stephanie, "What's the reason why Stephanie's suffering from nightmares?"

"Err..."

I looked at him. "What?"

"..."

I looked at Sooyoung too and seemed to look a little shocked over my question. I then asked him instead, "Do you know the reason why, Soo?"

He scratched the back of his head, "I don't know, man. Maybe, uhmm... she's still hurt because of what happened four years ago. Like, you know... depression."

"So, it's about my death?"

"Err-- maybe?"

"But, she already found out I'm alive. She shouldn't be depressed anymore, right?"

Soo sighed deeply then responded a little bit nervously, "I don't know, man. I really don't. But, rest assured. She's been having frequent visits with her doctor. I guess she's doing great now."

I looked back at her. "It doesn't make any sense..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Uhhmmm, Yuri?" Taeyeon snapped.

"Yeah?"

"I think what happened... the events back then... triggered a major depression on her. According to the doctor, as Yoong told us, the depression she's suffering somewhat became permanent, like, there's no definite cure for it, actually."

"So, it's settled that it's because of me, right?"

"Y-yeah, I guess..."

"And now, I'm back alive."

"..."

"Logically speaking, she shouldn't be depressed anymore."

"..."

"But, why she still is? Unless it's not because of me."

"What could be the reason then?"

"I don't know... Work? Family? Friends? Yoong?"

He and Sooyoung shared a laugh. Sooyoung then answered, "Dude, HGC's going so well ever since she took over. Her family's bond became stronger than ever too. Her parents fixed their relationship and an oh-so-happy atmosphere is already around the Hwang Manor. It's so much unlike before."

Taeyeon added, "She and Sunkyu are so much closer now too so, definitely, not a family problem. And friends? Dude, that will be a little bit shallow, don't you think? If she has a depressing problem about any of us, that will be weird, you know."

Sooyoung continued, "And lastly, Yoong? Dude, I witnessed how their relationship grew and most especially how Yoong treats her. And I tell you..." He then looked saddened a little. "Yoong's been doing his very best in loving and taking good care of her. No offense, but, he actually did better than you."

I looked away. "I-- I see..."

"I really didn't mean it to be frank, but, I assure you, man... Tiffany has always been Yoong's priority. In fact, he's the one who lifted that depression of hers like uhhmmm maybe a half lighter than before. Way back 2013, you can never even make a single proper conversation with her. It's like she was inexistent, like a mannequin. No emotion at all."

I glanced back to him, "For the whole 2013?"

"Err..." He looked away. "She got okay for few months. But, yeah, she got depressed again then it never went off... I guess until now..."

I looked back to her and sighed, "I still can't believe a person can live with depression for so long. It's been four years, right? She should be alright already."

"Well, have you forgotten Jessica's state before? Back when her mother died?" Taeyeon uttered. "Definitely, that still haunts her to sleep. You're aware of that too, right?"

"And that's because of death, Taeng. It's understandable. So, if Stephanie's still depressed because of me, then, she shouldn't be anymore since I'm alive." I sighed loudly. "Should I repeat this point of mine over and over for you to spill it out what's really going on with Stephanie?"

"Yah. Don't get mad at me!" he complained, though still inaudible for the others. "I really don't know what's going on with her! Would you be happy if you found out it wasn't you that she's being depressed with, huh? If that's what you want to hear then, fine, think of it that way so you won't feel guilty!"

"Taeyeon, calm down." Sooyoung snapped at him. "Relax."

Taeng then rubbed his face with both of his hands. "I'm sorry. I... I just really don't know, Yuri..." He looked at me. "Why don't you try to talk to her and ask what's really going on?"

Soo seconded, "Yeah. We're not actually in the right position to tell you anything going on with her mind, you know. It's her state, not ours. You'll just hear nothing but hunches from us."

"Sorry, Taeyeon, Sooyoung. It's just that..." I looked at Stephanie. "I've never seen her so hurt like this..."

"Don't worry about it, dude." Sooyoung responded, "What you're seeing now is not the worst. It is not even a single percent of how much she has been so depressed back then. You're lucky you were not around or else, you might not be able to take it."

Taeyeon chuckled bitterly, "That's pretty much not helping, Sooyoung. You're making everything worse with that statement."

"I know... It's just..." He sighed. "She's already okay. Well, not really completely okay but at least she's finally recovering. It might look too gradual but she's going there. Maybe few more years, she'll be back completely happy." He looked at Stephanie too. "And we all thought she'll never get to... But, now, look at her..." He smiled faintly.

"Gosh. Why are we having such very depressing topic again?" Taeyeon snapped. Then, he looked at me and asked, "Why such topic, man? Didn't you always tell me you no longer care about her, huh?"

I looked back to her, "I just felt curious..."

"Speaking of curiosity..." he uttered then looked at me mischievously. "What's with the HUG, the LIFTING IN THE AIR, man?" he wiggled his eyebrows at me. Sooyoung joined along too and started to tease me.

"Because we won, Taeyeon. There's no more other reason for that."

Sooyoung then asked, "Then, why are you blushing now?"

"I am not. It's just cold in here."

"Shouldn't you look pale instead because it's cold?"

"Shut up, will ya? Stop adding colors to a simple gesture. It's just a hug."

"With lifting, yes, yes." Sooyoung butted.

"Oh. Come to think of it. It's not only Yul who has a throwback yesterday." Tae uttered.

"Oh, yes, yes, the other one too." Sooyoung then called my younger brother's attention. "Yah, Yoong!"

"Yup?" Yoong responded.

"What's with the heroic act yesterday?" Soo asked.

"What heroic act?" he asked back, still focusing on his game with Kyu.

"You know... when you rushed towards Jessica to take the hit instead of her?"

"I did that for the game. If she'll be shot too, we'll be doomed for mediocre food."

"We all know, Jessica's already doomed once Tiffany aims her gun at her. There's no need for a heroic act."

Yoong looked at him in a very much uninterested manner, "Just get straight to the point, Sooyoung. What are you really trying to say to me?"

"That the feeling came back?"

"What feeling?"

"For Jessica?"

Sunkyu then glared over Sooyoung. "Will you shut up and stop bothering my appa, Sooyoung-hyung? I witnessed the whole thing too. It's all just for the game." The both of them went back on focusing on their chess game. "You should be interrogating the zombie there, instead. He's the one who did a very much malicious gesture over my umma."

"For Pete's sake, it was all just a platonic act!" I shouted which, apparently, has caught the attention of everyone else in the living room. I accidentally glanced over Stephanie. She's blushing madly. The heat suddenly went up to my face too. I quickly looked away.

And it was an awkward silence again...

---

The breakfast has started, the long table's divided into two using a red tape at the middle, the left side as the winner's side while the other's for the loser side. Hyoyeon really intended for the food to be soooo different and unfair for each of the team. The food on YoonSic Team's side looked too much horrible and almost colorless.

I'm sitting on the borderline side beside Jessica while on the other side was Stephanie, then Kyu. Yoong sat beside Sunkyu too.

"So, let's eat!" Taeyeon snapped beside me. Seohyun and Sunny, who are apparently on Stephanie's side of the table, joined Taeyeon along as they devoured the deliciously served meals on our side. The YoonSic team just stared at them enviously.

Stephanie started to eat too. But then, as she took her first bite, she noticed her son staring at her and her food. That's when she asked, "There's no ruling in sharing, right?"

Sunkyu's eyes lit up and grinned widely. He looked at Hyoyeon in anticipation of her answer.

"Yah! That will be unfair!" Taeyeon complained.

Stephanie then snapped at him. "Can I remind you, Tae, who did all the work in defeating their team?"

He looked at her with his eyebrows crossed. He glanced at me and snapped, "You decide too."

"It's fine with me. I don't mind sharing."

Tae then sighed loudly in defeat, "Fine."

Hyoyeon finally answered, "Yes, there's no ruling. You can share your food for as much as you want."

Stephanie smiled in relief and began sharing food to Sunkyu. Yoong then snapped, "How about me, my honey love so sweet?"

She smiled genuinely at him, "Enjoy the mediocre food, my honey love so sweet."

Yoong pouted in defeat.

I looked at Jessica and asked, "Do you want some?"

She didn't glance at me but stated in full of pride, "No."

"Oh come on." I took a bite of honey glazed chicken. "Mmmmm. This is really, really good."

She glared at me. "I am a woman of my word. I accept my defeat. Enjoy the food, hubby." She grinned insincerely.

"Oh. Alright. If you say so~~"

The meal continued silently. Though, Taeyeon, Seohyun, and Sunny have been too much noisy on enjoying their meals. Probably just to tease the other team who, apparently, not bothering to eat their food except for Sooyoung who was so much eating as hell.

Afterwards, Jessica uttered, "There's no ruling in altering food, right?"

Stephanie then answered, "For as long as you won't be asking the servants to do it for you then, why not?"

Taeyeon nodded, "Yup. We sure don't mind."

"Great." Jessica smiled in relief. "I'll be doing the cooking myself." she then started to pick some food to her plate.

"Wait." Yoong snapped to call her attention. "Can you uhhmmm... do mine too?"

I asked him, "Don't you know how to cook?"

"I do know how to cook. It's just that..." He stared at the food at the table horribly. "I don't know what can I do with these ones. It looks like these don't have hope anymore."

Jessica then snapped, "Alright. Pick the food you want."

Yoong then excitedly filled up his plate with the food he wanted. Sooyoung then afterwards snapped, "Are you freaking sure you wanted Jessica to cook for you?" He chuckled. "The mediocre food migh