You quickly close your room’s door after entering and you leaned against it. Something running through in your minds,

*This is totally a hard decision……Hyunwoo…..Myungsoo..*  you sighed as you dropped your body on the bed after putting your bag on your study desk.

You suddenly remembered your father, *Appa has  not been home for a long time. I wonder where he is right now.*

Your phone suddenly beeping a new message,

 Howon Oppa <3 says:

Soorin ah, Hyunwoo and me going to be home late since we have something to do. Don’t’ forget to eat dinner okay? Tata~

You smiled as you read the message. You closed the phone,

“I’m gonna be home alone.” You stood up as you walked into the bathroom for a shower.

After the shower, you went down to the living room watching some variety shows and drama to light up your mood. You’re watching a Korean drama and suddenly there’s a scene that made you lock looking it,

-The Scene in The Drama-

“Yoobin ah~ Where are you?” a woman in her 30s looking around at the playground, searching for someone.

“Boo~!” A cute voice shocked her. She turned around, a little girl standing beside her smiling,

“Aigoo…There you are my angel. Umma worried you know. Kaja! Let’s go home, appa gonna be back home soon.” She carried her daughter back home.

Yoobin’s mum accompany her daughter while she’s playing a doll. Yoobin comb her doll’s hair,

“Umma, I wish when I grow  up, our family will remain like this. A happy family.” Yoobin turn to her mum with a smile.

“Of course. We will always be a happy family.” Her mum pinched lightly her nose.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

Yoobin whipped her head to the door and back to her mum.

“Appa?!” She beamed cheerily asking. She ran towards the door with her doll in her hand and opened the door with a bright smile.

“Oh I think I saw a little angel infront of my eyes.” A man in his 30s put down his baggage and carried Yoobin.

“How are you my angel? Do you miss me?” He asked as he walked in the house, Yoobin nodded her head with a bright big smile. His wife entered the scene,

“Hi my beautiful wifey.” He gave a peck on her lip as she brought in his baggage.

“I’m glad you come back home safely.” She smiled.

“Appa appa! You know what?” Yoobin ask him as she combed her doll’s hair with her finger.

“What?” He sat down on the couch with Yoobin on his laps.

“Today, I met a boy. His name is Joon. He was so kind to me today at school.” She said.

“Ehhh~ Is our Yoobin had a crush already at a young age?” Her father as her mom shaking her head smiling entering the kitchen to prepare a dinner.

“Appa~” Yoobin pouted.

“Aigoo so cute.” He pinched her chubby cheeks.

-BACK TO YOU-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ_ff0ZG3zw (LYN - Back In Time)

Without a realize, droplets of tears fall from your eyes, strolling down your cheeks. You blinked several times and wiped away the tears, sniffing. You envy their happy family unlike yours.

“Aigoo, why am I crying? Haha.”  You hurtfully chuckled.

*I miss you umma…..and the old you appa.* the tears didn’t stop flowing out.

“Aish, stop flowing can you?” as you harshly wiped away the tears with the back of your hands.

You gave up and started crying as you brought up your knees to your chest and you hugged it while bursting into cry as you took a picture of your family from your wallet.

“I r-really m-miss you umma.” You caress the photo.

 “Y-you too appa.” You whispered softly.

DUGEUN DUGEUN DUGEUN DUGEUN

Your heart started to beat fast again. You breathe out in pain as you clutched onto your chest. You tried to breathe in and out to relax the heartbeat but you fail. You shut your eyes with pain.

*Not again….please.  It’s too painful for me to endure it..* you once again breathe in and out sharply.

You felt a liquid with an pungent smell flowing out from your nose, you touched it and you gasped.  You can’t handle the pain anymore and you tried to stand up. It was quite hard for you but you managed to. You slowly staggered to your room and start to rummage for the bottle of pills that you thrown inside the bin morning just now.

*Come on where that damn pills.* You gasped in pain when you felt the pain in your heart become much more painful. You throw out all the rubbish paper from the bin until it empty.

You couldn’t find it and you slowly walked to the kitchen hopping that there will be a painkiller at the drawer. As you almost about to reach at the kitchen, you legs become wobbly making you fell onto the floor with a loud thud.

“A-ahhh.” Your grabbed onto your chest become tighter as you felt your breath became shorter.

Tears of pain flowed out from your eyes as you lied down on the floor hopelessly thinking that you’re going to die in a minute.

*I shouldn’t have thrown away the pills….Is this how am I going to die? Without any goodbye to my loved ones?*

You suddenly heard someone is unlocking the door of the entrance, you tried to crawl so that whoever that person is coming inside could saw you and immediately could help you. In pain, you try to crawl on the floor with blood dripping on the floor from your nose.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pA63PDKlUE (2BiC – Made Yet Another Woman Cry)

“Howon?” It was appa’s voice.

“A….ap-appa.” You tried to say it out loud but it turn into a whisper.

“Who’s there?” Your father maybe heard it. 

As you were about to say it again, you saw your father standing infront of you. A shock and horrified expression plastered on his face.

“S-Soorin” he squad down as he brought your head onto his laps.

You felt how shock he is looking at you in a condition like this. You still could feel the care in his action, you cried in touch but also in pain.

“S-Soorin what happen to you? Your nose…is bleeding.” He asked worriedly.

“Appa….I….Ahhhh!” You tried to speak but the pain made you stop what you’re going to said to him.

He immediately fished out his phone and dial the ambulance number. You felt tired as your eyelid was about to drop close with your hand on your chest clutching in pain.

“Hang on Soorin! Hang on! Please don’t close your eyes! Please.” He cried suddenly.

*Appa…* you looked at him.

“I’m sorry….I’m sorry for what I did to you. I have abused you…All those mean words I have thrown to you, I actually don’t mean it… I’ve realized what I have done to you and I really really regret it.…Please forgive me Soorin. I’ve been a bad father to you. I don’t want to lose you…You’re the only daughter I love as well as your brother. I don’t want to lose any of my loved ones again…” He cried with full of regret.

You carefully wiped his tears away from his cheek and he hugged you.

You also cried together. This is what you want, the old appa that you know. The caring and loving not the abusive appa.

“A-appa, I…will…always f-forgive you….appa.” you tried your best to speak. You couldn’t stand it anymore although you tried to endure it…the feels of tiredness and pain mixed.

*If my times is up….it’s okay….As long as I get to feel the cared and loved from my appa that I have miss for a long time, I don’t regret if I have to die now… I get to feel it again before I left. Umma, I think I’m going to meet you.*

While in the hug of your father, you tiredly smile with tears. “I…will…always…love…you…a-ap….pa.” with that, blackness eat you up.

“S-Soorin? Soorin ah?” Your father pulled away as you didn’t answered him and looked at you. You’re already unconscious…..or not.

“GOD! SOORIN! SOORIN AH!” He shook your body a bit of aggressively but you didn’t open you eyes neither respond to him.

“Damn it! Where’s the ambulance?! Soorin ah! Please don’t leave me….Hang on!” He hugged you tightly with your head resting on his shoulder. Suddenly, a siren of the ambulance was heard. Without wasting any second, you father carried you in a bridal style quickly went out of the house towards the ambulance.

*Please don’t leave me…I regret for what I did to you Soorin. Please don’t leave appa alone with Howon. Jaebal.*   He hold your hands with both of his hand as he brought it up to his cheek resting on it and gave a peck your hand with tears flowing after the paramedics brought you in the ambulance car with your father sitting beside you.

Ohohoho~ New Year is coming~TADA! I UPDATE :D MISS ME? Huh? Huh? Huh? Hehe ^_^ gonna made a 4x update today~ 

Did i made you cry? No?Yes? Tell me :D

If there's mistake, mianhamda XD