Eun’s diary

We’ll go hiking today! The entire mountain range is covered with snow, it’ll be a gorgeous hike! We’ll go in the afternoon when it’s not that cold, I’m afraid Soondeok will catch a cold if we go in the morning. My wife is fine, just fine – energetic, charming, cheerful, healthy as ever! After getting back together a few days ago, we’ve come to understand each other more, love each other more, care about each other more. I think every time we have a fight, it’s actually drawing us closer together in a way, I suppose it’s a good thing, right?

Mum’s letter arrived today and guess what? Yixing is said to return sometime early this year! Can you believe that? I can’t believe he’s coming back! I miss him so! I hope his plan won’t change again this year like the previous years, I really want to take him to that restaurant he’s always wanted to revisit.

Mother also talked about His Majesty, seems like he’s not doing well with things, So hyung is helping him as much as he could along with Wook hyung, but the power against them is just too great I suppose. It’ll be hard for So hyung to come over during spring with Haesoo I suppose, too bad, Soondeok’s been looking so forward to their spring visit.

I miss mother, but I know she’s doing fine. Maybe I should ask her to help us find a piece of land here where Soondeok and I can build our own place. We’ll start from scratch and design everything ourselves! My dear wife’s excited about it too, she’s been going on and on about it. It’ll be fantastic for us to live here, away from the suffocating city – the capital really isn’t my style.

Soondeok’s diary

Oh wouldn’t it be wonderful to live here? I’ve been imagining our place ever since Eun’s brought up the idea of us moving here – I keep changing the design of our residence in my mind, I don’t know which one to stick to! Every time I was sure I’ll stick with one, another idea will pop up and I’ll build on that new idea in my mind, over and over again! I wish Eun will tell me what he thinks, but he doesn’t really care, he keeps saying that if I like it than he’ll like it. Sure I love how he lets me decide it all, but I’d like to add his favourite design too! I’ve been struggling whether to add the bath inside the room or set up a separate bath house like the one back at home but all he said was he’d let me decide. When it comes to making minor decisions, my prince really isn’t the best at it. But he’s cute like this.

Daddy’s letter came along with mother’s letter today, he’s patrolling around the borders again with Bogum, both are doing well, he says. I miss daddy so much. I hope he’s wearing enough, he’s not as young as he thinks he is and he keeps catching a cold because he thought he wouldn’t need to wear a lot in the cold weather like the weather we’re having now. If only I could go with him and make sure he’s taking care of himself real good. Mother’s doing well too, this I’m glad to hear. I miss her and I hope she’s not too lonely at home without us.

Oh, I think it’s time for us to go for lunch before the hike! Can’t wait!

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Eun: ‘Honey, get the door will you? I’m changing.’

Soondeok: ‘Must be our food! Coming!’

(Opens door)

Soondeok: ‘Oh! I…H…Hello, Your Excellency…’

(It’s Eun’s grandfather standing there with the table full of food.)

Soondeok: ‘Your Excellency, let me carry that! Oh, do please come in!’

(Eun coming out of the room)

Eun: ‘Who is it, honey?’

(Eun sees his grandfather and his smile disappears instantly.)

Eun: ‘G…grandpa…’

(Soondeok puts down the table)

Soondeok: ‘Your highness, do tell His Excellency to come in and join us!’

(Eun does so unwillingly)

Eun: ‘W…why don’t you join us? Please come in, grandpa…’

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Eun: ‘I’m full now, I’m going out.’

(Eun’s about to stand up and leave but Soondeok pulls on his sleeves)

Soondeok: ‘Your highness…your grandfather’s still here, don’t be rude.’

Eun: ‘Deok ah…’

Grandpa: ‘Soondeok my dear, let him be. Who wants to have a meal with his own grandpa, hm? I’m thankful enough that he didn’t throw his temper about during the meal.’

Soondeok: ‘But Your Excellency…’

Eun: ‘Why are you here? What do you want?’

Soondeok: ‘Your highness! Don’t talk to your grandfather like this!’

Grandpa: ‘What’s wrong with a grandfather wanting to have a meal with his grandson and granddaughter-in-law?’

Soondeok: ‘He’s right, your highness…please stay a bit longer…’

(Eun remains silent, not making eye contact with his grandpa)

Grandpa: ‘Aigoo Soondeok dear, you didn’t have much did you? Here, have more meat.’

Soondeok: ‘I’m fine, Your Excellency, really. I’m full, actually.’

Grandpa: ‘You need to eat more, my dear, to have energy! My, you look so thin the wind could’ve blown you away! And you can call me grandpa too dear, we’re a family!’

(Eun mumbles to himself)

Eun: ‘Family…what kind of family is this?’

Soondeok: ‘Yes sir! I mean, grandpa…I’ll call you that from now on…if you don’t mind…grandpa.’

Grandpa: ‘Good girl. I’m sure you’ll be a good mother, no?’

Eun: ‘Grandpa!’

Soondeok: ‘I…’

Grandpa: ‘Have our Eun been treating you well dear? If not, I’ll teach him a good lesson for you.’

Soondeok: ‘Oh, no need for that sir! The prince has been taking really good care of me, really, grandpa!’

Grandpa: ‘Have you guys slept together yet?’

Eun: ‘GRANDPA! Why are you asking this?’

Grandpa: ‘I’m just asking, what’s wrong with that?’

Eun: ‘Gosh, it’s embarrassing grandpa!’

Grandpa: ‘I wasn’t asking you, lad, I was asking your wife!’

(Seeing how this could evolve into a fight, Soondeok quickly answers)

Soondeok: ‘Yes! I mean…yes… we have…grandpa.’

Eun: ‘Deok ah…’

Soondeok: ‘Grandpa, worry not, the prince…he’s been…um…nice to me…really.’

Grandpa: ‘How often?’

Eun: ‘GRANDFATHER! Can’t you stop it already? You’re being too much!’

Grandpa: ‘Who are you yelling at? You just stay out of this!’

Soondeok: ‘I…you don’t have to worry about that, grandpa…it’s telling the prince to stop that’s the problem…’

Grandpa: ‘Is that so? HA! Looks like I’ll be able to meet my grandchildren soon! Here, have more meat my dear!’

(Eun’s gotten so angry he grabbed Soondeok’s wrist and wants to leave the room, but Soondeok pulls her wrist away and kneels on the floor towards Eun’s grandpa)

Soondeok: ‘Grandpa…I have…I have something to tell you…’

Grandpa: ‘Go ahead! What is it you want? I can buy you anything you want, my dear! Anything!’

Eun: ‘Deok ah, come out with me, you don’t need to talk to him.’

Soondeok: ‘I can’t have children, grandpa.’

(Silence. The smile on the old man’s face slowly melts away.)

Grandpa: ‘What…what do you mean, dear?’

Eun: ‘Soondeok ah! Get up now, get up!’

Soondeok: ‘I-’

Eun: ‘Ya! Park Soondeok!’

(Soondeok turns to look at her husband)

Soondeok: ‘I don’t want to lie, Oppa…’

(She turns to the old man again)

Soondeok: ‘Your Excellency…I…I can’t have children, you see…I’m sorry. I know you’ve promised the prince one year…with hope that I’ll give you the grandchild you’ve always wanted. But…Your Excellency, I’m afraid…it’ll never happen.’

Eun: ‘Deok ah…’

Grandpa: ‘W…why can’t you?’

Soondeok: ‘I have this illness, Your Excellency, and in order to stay alive, I must take such medicine which will in turn…make me…childless. My apologies…’

Grandpa: ‘E…Eun ah…is it true? You knew all along and you still…’

Eun: ‘Grandpa, it’s not that, it’s just-’

Grandpa: ‘Shut it you fool! And I trusted you…I trusted you!’

Soondeok: ‘Your…Excellency, it’s all my fault, please don’t get mad at the prince. I’m willing to do whatever I can to mend this. Even if…you have him sleep with another woman, I’m fine with that, Your Excellency.’

Eun: ‘That’s it, that’s enough! Soondeok, you’re coming with me!’

(Eun pulls Soondeok out of the room to his secret library)

‘WHY DID YOU DO THAT? Why? Why did you have to tell him?’

‘I don’t want to lie, Oppa…I won’t want to keep pretending…’

‘Then have you thought about me? All this time I’ve been trying to protect you and now it comes down to nothing! NOTHING!’

‘Oppa…how can I lie to him? How can I keep giving him hope that I’ll give him a grandchild when in fact…that’ll never happen? I really can’t do it, Oppa, I can’t. My conscience won’t let me…’

‘Not telling him is not lying, Deok ah!’

‘Then, suppose 1 year later, what will you say? The result will be just the same, Oppa!’

‘Still, can’t you at least talk to me first before you let it all out? Now, there’s no turning back! And what you’ve just said, you know how painful it was to hear those words from you? That you’re fine with me sleeping with another woman, well honey, I’m here to tell you, I’M NOT FINE WITH THAT!’

‘I…I’m sorry…’

‘Sorry doesn’t change anything now, does it? Thanks to you and your conscience, he might actually force me to do just that! Are you happy now?’

(Silence)

‘Aish…of all the times, why does he have to come now? I hope he’ll just die! Aish!’

‘Oppa, don’t say that!’

‘Why not? It’s not like he’s your grandpa! I wish he could just die like that, really! Vanish forever! Gone!’

‘You wouldn’t say so if you know what I know…’

‘What do you know?’

‘That time, in the clinic, after you left…I heard…grandpa’s ill, Oppa…terminally ill…Oppa, please try to understand him.’

(Eun blinks, he tries to sound like the news doesn’t affect him)

‘S..So? Just because he’s dying doesn’t mean I have to listen to him all the time! Aish…’

(Soondeok gives Eun a backhug)

‘Oppa…Promise me…’

‘W-what?’

‘Oppa, promise me you’ll try to be nice to him…don’t be so rude to him…please?’

‘He’s rude to you! Why should I be nice to him?’

‘He’s just a bit straightforward, like a soldier, that’s all…I’m used to that…’

‘He asked you those questions…aish…’

‘Oppa, please? Promise me…I don’t want to see you two fighting…’

(Eun sighs then touches her hands)

‘Alright, honey, I promise. For you, I promise…’

(Eun turns around and gives Soondeok a hug properly)

‘By the way, Deok ah…what did you mean by “it’s telling the prince to stop that’s the problem”, hm?’

‘When…when did I say that?’

‘Just then! Why? Do you not like me loving you? Or is it that I’m not showing my love enough?’

(Eun hugs Soondeok tighter in protest)

‘Oppa! Stop it~ I can’t breathe~ Ya~’

‘Guess I’ll have to show my love more today then~’

(Eun bridal-carries Soondeok to the bed and hovers over her)

‘Ya, Oppa~ What are you doing? Stop playing around and let’s get out…your grandpa’s probably looking for you.’

‘Who said I’m playing around? I’m ready anytime!’

‘We’ve just had lunch!’

‘Full of energy, I presume~’

(Suddenly they hear someone coughing outside.)

‘Oppa…I think it’s your grandpa…’

‘Forget about him.’

‘Oppa, I think, you’d better go out and see him…apologize to him.’

‘Why should I?’

‘Just do it.’

‘Why do people always interrupt us, Deok ah?’

‘You’re just naughty all the time, that’s all. Go out now and be good. At least try to talk to him.’

‘Alright…for you…wait for me, okay?’

‘As if I’d do that!’

(Soondeok slips out and runs away – Eun’s grandpa comes in)

‘What do you want?’

‘Eun ah…’

‘Happy now? I’m sure you’re delighted to hear my wife confess it all to you. Now you can give me the “I told you so” lecture, right? Go on, I’m ready.’

‘Eun ah…’

‘What? Are you telling me to go back to the capital with you now? That you have someone waiting for me, to wed me and produce the grandchildren you’ve always wanted? Just say it, say it so I’ll have more the reason to be mad at you.’

‘Wangeun ah…why are you like this?’

‘Like what?’

‘Why do you keep thinking that I’m here to ruin your life and not trying to make it better?’

‘Because I know so. A dog doesn’t need to be beaten twice to know who treats him bad – once is enough.’

‘Eun ah…’

‘I’m being nice only because my wife told me to. So please just say it, whatever you have to say, let’s hear it before I lose my patiences.’

(Eun’s grandpa looks around)

‘Do you know why I’d wanted you to be king when you were young?’

‘Of course. So you can be one. If I’m the king, grandpa would’ve made all the decisions by yourself, all the power will be yours. I’ll be the nice little puppet for it – just like my father was. But let me tell you, I have no interest in that whatsoever. No interest in the throne, the politics, the power struggle – none of that! All I wanted was to live freely, that’s all!’

‘Aigoo, you fool…’

‘Then what? What was your reason? Hm? Tell me!’

‘You’ll know soon enough…Eun ah, remember that spin-top I bought you on your 6^th birthday?’

‘Why?’

‘Do you?’

‘Of course!’

‘You used to love that spin-top…as if it’s your very life. You won’t go anywhere without it…but now, where is it?’

‘S…somewhere in the storeroom I guess…’

‘And that board game that came all the way from Persia, the one you used to carry around, where is that now?’

(Silence)

‘Eun ah, you used to love those things, a lot. But now, looking back, do you love them as much after you’ve grown up, hm?’

‘That’s because I’m an adult now!’

‘Time changes people in a scary way, Eun ah…the love you have for your wife, how long do you think that’ll last?’

‘Forever! I won’t stop loving her, never!’

‘How can you guarantee that? How can anyone be so sure about anything like that? Love? What is love? Do you honestly think you know what it is? How long do you think it can last between you and your wife? At the end of the day, you’ll regret upholding this love, you’ll regret not building a family – I’m simply trying to stop this from happening, I always think one step ahead, Eun ah. You being king too, was like that. As long as you’re a prince, you’re in danger – that’s just the fate of one.’

‘So, what are you suggesting?’

‘You don’t want to marry another woman? Fine, I’ll agree to that. I’ll find someone for you to sleep with, have a child with her while continuing the happy life you yearn for with your wife.’

‘What about that woman then? You’ll just kick her away after she has my child?’

‘I’ll give her plenty of money, don’t you worry, Eun ah.’

‘See? That’s why I hate you, grandpa! Stop treating human like objects! You think money can solve everything?’

‘I know it can, Eun ah. Ask anyone on the street and I’m sure all of them would accept an offer as such with the amount I’m offering! She’ll be able to live well, have a house, have people to work for her – she might even be able to help her family, who knows?’

‘This…how can you even have this idea? I…I refuse. I refuse, grandpa. You can’t make me.’

(Eun’s grandpa places his hand on Eun’s shoulder)

‘I’m a man who’ll always be true to my words, I gave you one year, and one year you’ll have. You better hope I’ll die within this year if you don’t want things like that to happen. I can’t make you? Who says? If I want something to happen, it will happen. How’d you think I made your father marry your mother? You fool…’

‘Grandpa…what do you mean?’

‘The answer that you have in your mind now – exactly that.’

(Eun’s grandpa walks out and gets on the carriage that’s been waiting for him outside. Eun cannot believe it – in anger he runs out, only to find that his grandpa has already left. He can do nothing but beat the snowy ground with his fist, screaming out his emotions until he’s too weak to continue.)

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‘Oppa! Oppa, are you in here?’

(Soondeok searches for Eun in the storeroom, sure enough, he’s there – looking at all those things he’d once fallen deeply in love with.)

‘Oh Oppa, you’re here! Have you been here the entire time?’

(Soondeok walks over towards him)

‘Deok ah…I’m scared…’

‘Of what, Oppa?’

‘I’m scared that what my grandpa said will come true…that I might stop loving you one day.’

‘Oppa…’

‘I’m scared because…he’s so right, about everything…and I…I really don’t have faith, Deok ah…that I can love you…forever. These toys…I used to love them but…’

(Soondeok walks closer)

‘Oppa, don’t be afraid…what’s the worst thing that can happen?’

‘Deok ah…’

‘The worst thing could be…that you’ve fallen in love with someone else, well, I’m used to that, remember our first year together? And say you hate me, well, that’s nothing fresh either – you used to make me sleep outside, remember? Ah, and you used to kick me and push me around…I think nothing can get worse than that.’

‘Soondeok ah…’

‘So Oppa, don’t worry – we’ll just live each day to the fullest – one day at a time. For people who could die any moment, people like me, thinking about the future is luxury.’

‘Oh honey…’

(Eun embraces Soondeok, thanking heaven for giving him such a wonderful wife)

‘Oh Deok ah, what did I do to deserve you?’

‘There there, Oppa…feeling better now?’

‘Yes, thanks to you.’

(Eun gently kisses Soondeok behind her neck)

‘O…Oppa…what do you think you’re doing?’

‘Don’t think I’ve forgotten about it, Deok ah…’

‘Now just wait-’

(Soondeok tries to push him away but the stronger she tries, the harder Eun pulls her towards himself. Both starts this mini-wrestling inside the storeroom and suddenly Eun trips and falls backward – pulling his wife down with him.)

‘Ya! You jerk!’

‘Ow! My head…’

‘Oppa! You alright? Did you hit the floor real bad?’

‘Deok ah…we must’ve knocked many things down, hm? Look up.’

(Sure enough, they can see the store room in chaos, feathers floating down like snow – they must’ve ripped a pillow open - somehow)

‘Sorry…I’ll pack things up.’

(Eun touches Soondeok’s face as he lies down on the floor, feeling his heart beating against her’s.)

‘Deok ah…my dear wife Soondeok ah…’

‘You’re acting weird, Oppa…’

‘Is there anyway…to travel back in time?’

‘If yes, when would you want to travel back to?’

‘The day father slept with my mother…the day my mother conceived me…I wish I could stop that…’

‘Oppa…’

‘Then mother won’t have to marry father…I won’t be a prince…I can be just anybody…’

‘Then you wouldn’t be able to meet me.’

‘That’s not what I meant.’

‘Oppa…let’s not talk about that now, we still need to hike!’

‘Let’s hike tomorrow, it’s too late for that now.’

‘I was looking forward to it…’

‘We’ll go tomorrow, I promise.’

‘Then what should we do now?’

(Eun flips her over)

‘Other than that, Oppa.’

‘Why not?’

‘Period.’

‘Aish! Darn it! Wait…it just came, didn’t it?’

(Soondeok giggles)

‘Yes, right before I came to find you…’

‘Aish! We should’ve done it back then! Now I have to wait a full week?’

‘You waited for 2 years, 1 week is nothing for you.’

‘You’re happy about this, aren’t you?’

‘Can you tell?’

‘It’s written all over your face, honey. Don’t make it too obvious, it’s making things harder for me…aish…’

(Soondeok places her head down on Eun’s chest and listens to his heart)

‘I love you Oppa. Very much.’

(Eun smiles)

‘I love you too, Deok ah. Till the day I die…I know I can. I know I will.’

(In Soondeok’s heart, she knows – moments as such may not last forever, but memories like such will. She only prays that time will slow down a bit…)