Eun’s Diary

Today is the third day since the incident, I do hope Soondeok will wake up soon. The doctor said that if she doesn’t wake up within three days, it’ll be hard to wake her up afterwards. Something’s weird though, my wife’s face wasn’t as pale as before, her hands no longer cold and her wound, yes that very strange, her wound is healing up so fast I can barely make sense of it myself. When we came back to the capital and the doctor had a good look at the wound, he said that the wound seems like a 20-day-old wound to him, already healing and sealing up. This morning when I changed the gauzes, the skin seems to be sealing it up completely already, like the wound that could’ve cost my wife’s life have never been there at all. The doctor couldn’t explain it himself as well, perhaps it was because Soondeok recovered well during our time outside the capital he said. Yet this is somehow making me feel uneasy, if she’s healing up so fast, why hasn’t she opened her eyes at all? Desperate, yes I am, very desperate. The only thing I have to be thankful for is that Yixing is back! He’s been back for quite some time but since he’s busy in the capital and all, he couldn’t come and find me in the mountains. The sad news is, he’s leaving tomorrow. I’ll spend some time with him today while leaving my wife under the care of my mother and the maids here. I have a lot to say to him, a lot of things to share, and I’m sure he does too. After today, who knows when we’ll meet again.

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(Soondeok yawns then slowly opens her eyes. She blinks a few times then looks around.)

‘Where…where am I?’

(Soondeok sits up slowly, feeling a bit dizzy at first)

‘Uh? Here…isn’t this my room? Wait…the prince…’

(Soondeok looks around the room she’s supposed to be familiar with, yet all to her now seems new and strange, as if she’s only seen it in her dream. She carefully sits on the side of the bed and stretches herself like one would after a long afternoon nap.)

‘Aigoo, oh my back. Soondeok ah…that’s why you shouldn’t sleep for so long…’

(Soondeok stumbles a bit as she stands up then slowly makes her way out the room into the garden. The sunlight’s too bright for her eyes to adjust to after keeping them in darkness for days, Soondeok raises her hand to block out the blinding sunlight, her dizziness comes back.)

Mother: ‘Soondeok my dear!’

(Eun’s mother and a maid comes running towards her, Soondeok bows instantly)

Soondeok: ‘Mother! I’m sorry for sleeping in. It’s just that I got up really early to ride this morning and-’

Mother: ‘Oh my darling, you’re finally awake!’

(Soondeok’s mother-in-law gives her a hug, uttering a thankful prayer)

Soondeok: ‘M…mother, what’s wrong?’

Mother: ‘My dear, let me look at you, thank goodness you’re fine now. Oh what are you doing out here? You can’t be out here, what if you catch a cold? What if you pass out? You just got better, you have to stay in bed. Please take Lady Soondeok back to her room at once.’

Maid: ‘Yes, my lady.’

Soondeok: ‘Mother, what are you talking about? Sick? I wasn’t sick. I was just having an afternoon nap.’

Mother: ‘Soondeok my dear, what do you mean? You got shot by an arrow, don’t you remember that?’

Soondeok: ‘Me? Shot? Mother, are you sure you’re alright?’

Mother: ‘I…you don’t remember…’

Soondeok: ‘Mother…’

Mother: ‘Send for a doctor at once. Hurry! Soondeok dear, why don’t we talk inside, hm?’

(Eun’s mother brings Soondeok inside as a maid runs to fetch a doctor)

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(In Eun’s mother’s bedroom)

‘Doctor, what’s happening to my daughter-in-law? Why…why can’t she remember anything?’

‘Memory loss is common among patients who’ve had excessive blood loss, maybe that’s why Lady Soondeok can’t recall some events.’

‘Will…will the memories come back?’

‘In most cases it will, some may take a few days, some a few months and others…well, it all depends on the patient.’

‘Is there no medicine for it?’

‘I’m afraid none of which I know of.’

‘Oh my poor child…’

‘Have His Royal Highness spend more time with the lady, maybe it’ll trigger her to bring her memories back.’

‘I hope so…’

‘However…’

‘What’s wrong, doctor?’

‘The lady’s memory is not my biggest concern right now…it’s her heart.’

‘Her heart?’

‘I’ve been Lady Soondeok’s doctor since she was but a baby, and I’ve never encountered something like this.’

‘Like what? Oh doctor, please do tell me.’

‘Her pulse is strong and…very…very regular.’

‘Well…isn’t that normal?’

‘Exactly my lady!’

‘What’s there to worry about then?’

‘The thing is…Lady Soondeok’s pulse has never been normal, not since the day she was born – just like her mother.’

‘What are you suggesting, doctor?’

‘I still need some time to look into this, but it would seem that…that Lady Soondeok’s heart…somehow…healed itself after the incident.’

‘Healed itself?’

‘Yes. I know it sounds absurd, but if that’s the case…’

‘Then she won’t have to take any medicine again, right?’

‘Yes, my lady, which means-’

‘She can have child again.’

(The doctor nods)

‘My lady, please give your servant some time, I’ll have to do more research on this before I can come up with a suitable explanation and treatment for the lady.’

‘Oh yes, I understand.’

‘In the meantime, I’ll keep monitoring the lady’s condition. If you spot anything out of the ordinary, please do also let me know, that would be of great help.’

‘I will, most certainly.’

‘And…my lady, before anything’s confirmed…to the prince-’

‘You want me to keep this a secret from the prince for now, right?’

‘Y…yes, my lady. I don’t want to give him false hope…’

‘Thank you for being so considerate, doctor.’

‘Well, your servant must get going.’

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Soondeok’s diary

I have no idea what’s going on, everything seems so familiar, yet so unfamiliar to me. It’s like I’m in a dream, one in which I know exactly how it goes, but I’ll still get surprise at every single thing that will happen. I haven’t seen the prince today, he’s been out all day avoiding me again I presume. I woke up and found myself sleeping on the bed this afternoon, what was I thinking? How bold of me to sleep on the bed without asking the prince for permission, I should be grateful he didn’t return sooner. Mother said I was shot by an arrow, and indeed there’s a new scar on my chest which I did not know of, but I have no memory of it whatsoever. What is going on? Is it just me or is it mother’s problem? They say old people tend to forget things and mix up events, is this happening to mother? If so, why’s there a scar on my chest then? A lot of things just doesn’t add up. All this thinking is tiring me out, I guess I’d better sleep before the prince gets back and starts yelling at me. I’ll figure out what’s going on tomorrow.

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(Eun walks into the room, his long face drags the entire room’s atmosphere deep into a valley. Soondeok can feel that Eun’s upset, really upset about something, and it’s best to just stay low. Eun looks over to the bed and sees it – empty.)

‘D…Deok ah! Where is she? Mother!’

(Just as Eun’s about to run out for help, Soondeok pops up out of the corner in which she’s been hiding and answers in a shaking voice with her head down)

‘Your…your highness…I’m…I’m here.’

‘Park Soondeok! You!’

(Soondeok shuts her eyes as she waits for Eun to slap her or something. Yet unexpectedly, Eun pulls her towards himself and hugs her tightly.)

‘Oh Deok ah! You’re alright! You’re awake! I thought I’ve lost you!’

‘Your…your highness…’

‘Let me have a good look at you, my darling.’

(Eun looks at her face carefully, scanning every single inch of it with his eyes)

‘When did you wake up, Soondeok ah? How did you wake up? Is it still hurting? You fool, you got me worried sick! Don’t you ever do that again, understand? How’s your scar? Let me have a look-’

(Soondeok pushes Eun away in shock, not sure of what’s going on.)

‘Your…your highness…please don’t be like this.’

‘Hm? What’s wrong? Deok ah…’

(Eun takes a step forward but Soondeok takes a step back)

‘Please don’t! I…I…’

‘Honey. You alright? What’s wrong? Is it your wound, is it hurting? Let me have a look.’

(Eun tries to reach out to his wife but Soondeok runs outside the room)

‘D…Deok ah!’

(Eun runs out after her and sees his mother outside as well, Soondeok hiding behind her)

Mother: ‘Eun ah.’

Eun: ‘Mother! What’s wrong with her? Is she alright? Did the doctor see her today? What did he say?’

Mother: ‘Shh. Son, calm down first.’

Eun: ‘How can I calm down? My wife’s like this now and-’

Mother: ‘Let’s talk alone. Soondeok my dear, you can go to sleep first, okay? Don’t be scared, I’ll take care of it, hm?’

(Soondeok nods then rushes back into the room, shaking)

‘Mother…I have a bad feeling about this.’

(Eun’s mother sighs)

‘Son…I’m afraid…I’m afraid your wife is having trouble recalling memories.’

‘What?’

‘She still thinks…you hate her. As in…before you started noticing her and loving her.’

‘Oh dear no.’

‘Oh yes…she still thinks that you like Haesoo. She’s trapped in the time frame…some 2 years ago. In her memory, you guys just married for a year.’

‘Mother…’

‘The doctor said it’ll come back, the memories, eventually…have a bit of patience, Eun ah. Try to be gentle with her now…she’s still…in shock of what’s going on around her. It’s too much for her to take it all in. After all, many things did change during the past 2 and a half years.’

‘Is this a chance, mother?’

‘A chance?’

‘A chance for me to make up for what I’ve done to her…from the way she reacted to me just then…I could see that I must’ve hurt her a lot before…before I started to love her.’

‘Only heavens know, Eun ah…but I’m glad you can think of it this way.’

‘How about father-in-law, does he know?’

‘I don’t want him to worry so I didn’t tell him that yet. He’s busy now, I doubt he’ll visit her in the meantime.’

‘Good. I’ll do what I can to help her…but I miss my wife…the one I know…the one I’ve fallen in love with.’

‘It’ll come back, son, she’ll come back, after all she’s never left.’

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(Eun gets in bed, he can hear Soondeok tossing and turning on the other side of the room – he walks over and the sound immediately stops.)

‘Soondeok ah, I know you’re still awake.’

(Silence)

‘Soondeok ah, can I ask you to help me?’

(Soondeok instantly sits up)

‘Anything, your highness.’

(Eun looks into her eyes, she seems eager to help, eager to win over his heart, yet cautious in not making it too obvious.)

‘I…I feel cold, Deok ah.’

‘You are? Then, here, your highness, you can take my blanket.’

‘No, Deok ah, that’s not what I meant.’

‘I can get you another blanket then, I know you don’t want to use mine…wait here.’

(Eun grabs her by her hand when she stands up, pulling her back down)

‘Can you…sleep with me?’

‘Your highness…’

‘It’ll be warmer, if we…if we sleep together.’

‘But…your highness doesn’t like me sleeping on the same bed with you.’

(Eun tries to find another excuse)

‘I…I’ve been having nightmares recently.’

‘Oh dear.’

‘Yes, nightmares, yes. I need someone to stay next to me, that’s all. If you don’t want to then-’

‘If it’s for you, then I will, your highness.’

‘Thank you.’

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(Both of them in bed…in silence. Eun reaches for Soondeok’s hand, holding it tight, not letting Soondeok pull her hand out)

‘Your highness…this…’

‘Stop tugging.’

‘But your highness…’

‘If you let go and I have a nightmare tonight, are you responsible?’

‘But…’

‘It’s alright, I won’t get mad at you, I’m the one who wanted to hold your hand first aren’t I?’

(Soondeok gulps hard)

‘I…I suppose so…your highness.’

(Eun suddenly gets curious as to just how much Soondeok can’t remember)

‘Deok ah.’

‘Yes, your highness!’

‘Can I ask you a question?’

‘S…sure.’

‘Do you know…per chance…do you happen to know…’

(Soondeok waits for the question to drop as Eun hesitates)

‘Are you asking me if I know Haesoo’s favourite colour?’

‘Ya!’

‘I’m sorry. I thought you would want to know…seeing how hesitant you are.’

‘Not that!’

‘Then…Haesoo’s favourite accessories?’

‘Aish, no!’

(It’s all coming back to Eun now, the many nights as such – he can’t help but recall all those times and laugh himself)

‘Your highness…why are you laughing?’

‘Oh my dear…I guess I do miss the old times, hm?’

‘What…what are you talking about?’

(Eun leans forward, his face so close to Soondeok’s that he can feel her breath on his face)

‘Your highness…’

‘Deok ah, do you know where babies come from?’

‘Your highness…why would you ask such a question?’

‘Because I want to see if you know.’

‘I…from…from the mother, of course.’

‘Yes, Deok ah, but HOW?’

‘I don’t quite understand…what do you mean by how?’

‘I mean, HOW the mother got the baby.’

‘Well…I…I guess…’

(Soondeok pauses for a long time)

‘Maybe…maybe she said a spell, a magical spell?’

‘So you don’t remember…’

‘Am I supposed to remember, your highness?’

‘Oh my gosh, you really can’t remember…oh my head. How am I supposed to survive? It’s been so long since the last time we slept together and now…’

‘Your highness?’

(Eun continues to talk to himself, grieving at the thought of not being able to touch his wife for quite some time, having to go through all the warming up before he can again-)

‘Your highness!’

‘Hm? What?’

‘Are you alright? You feel quite feverish. And…frustrated, is something bothering you? Are you really fine?’

‘I’m…no I’m not fine, Deok ah.’

‘Should I call the doctor then?’

‘No, Deok ah, you be my doctor.’

‘Me?’

(Eun pulls her close to him)

‘Forgive me, my love, but I have to speed things up.’

‘Your highness! Please don’t…I’m not the one you want, it’s Haesoo, and-’

(Eun forces a kiss on her, he’s hungry for her. Soondeok tries to push him away, but that only made him wrap around her even more.)

‘Rule number one, Park Soondeok, if you mention Haesoo once, I’ll punish you once, like this.’

‘Your highness…’

‘Rule number two, don’t call me “your highness”, call me “Oppa”, get it?’

‘What’s a “Oppa”?’

‘It’s like calling me “honey”, something like that.’

‘Oh your highness, I thought you said you don’t like me calling you-’

(Eun kisses Soondeok once again)

‘Same rule, you call me “your highness” once, I’ll kiss you once.’

(Eun kisses Soondeok yet again. Confused, Soondeok sits up after breaking away from him at last.)

‘Your Highness, what are you doing? Why are you doing this to me? Is it that fun to tease me? Is it that satisfying to torture me this way?’

‘Soondeok ah.’

(Soondeok starts to tear up)

‘I know you don’t like me, I know you hate me for forcing you into this marriage, but this…this is really too much!’

‘Honey…’

‘If making me think that you’re finally starting to like me…so that you can go back to hurting and mocking me afterwards is what you’re trying to do. Congratulations, you got me fooled.’

‘Soondeok ah, listen to me-’

‘I didn’t ask you to love me, I just want to be with you…to be by your side…but it’s getting really really tiring for me now, your highness…You can keep hitting me, you can keep insulting me…but playing with my feelings like this…making me think that you really do like me…this is really too mean of you.’

‘Honey, you don’t understand, I-’

‘It’s getting late, your highness…please sleep now.’

(Soondeok gets back to sleep, with her back facing her husband.  Eun wants to hug her, to kiss her, to tell her how much he loves her, to tell her everything, but it’s too early for that, too much for her to handle at the moment, so he lets her be.)

‘Tomorrow, let’s ride together, Deok ah.’

(Silence)

‘I know you like riding, let’s ride together, you and I. I’ll prove to you, that I’m not just bluffing, that I’m not teasing you. I really do love you, honey. Good night, my dear wife.’