My Senior Year : Paying Visits

I stayed with Hyukkie until he parked the car at the garage behind our house. I took the liberty to explain to his father why we got home late. I went in from the kitchen back door and I saw Halmeoni standing by the kitchen counter, checking on the food we will eat for dinner.

I carefully walked towards her, placing my bag and MinBunny quietly over the small kitchen table before sneaking up behind Halmeoni and giving her a hug. “Halmeoni!”

“OMO!” She partly jumped from my hug. “Sungmin-ah!” She said when she saw it was me. “I was worried about you, how come you just got here? It’s already dark outside” she sounded really worried.

“I’m sorry Halmeoni...” I rested my chin on her shoulder while she carried on with what she was doing before I came “I know what I said over the phone wasn’t enough, but thank you for trusting me today.” I truly want Halmeoni to worry less about me.

Halmeoni placed a hand over my arm that I had around her. “It’s hard not to worry about our Sungminnie, but I understand that you are a grown man now. I know your Umma and Appa wouldn’t like it if I don’t let you live the way you want.” she partially laughed.

“That’s why Umma and Appa are happy wherever they are because they know that they left Sungminnie with the best Halmeoni ever.” I giggled only to stop soon and remembering something. “Halmeoni, speaking of Umma and Appa, it will be 13 years next week.”

“I know, Sungmin-ah... Time went by fast.” Halmeoni tilted her head to look at me. “You miss them a lot, right?” when I nodded Halmeoni looked straight ahead and slanted her head against mine. “I miss them a lot too. I know they’re always here with us but still I can’t help but be sad for our loss.”

I hugged Halmeoni tighter. I felt tears outlining my eyes but not ready to descend. Umma and Appa, they visit me in my sleep, but it was never enough. I want them to hold me for a long time and I want to be able to tell how much I miss them. I want to tell them everything about me. What Hyukkie and I had been up to, where Halmeoni would take me on weekends. I want to show them everything I worked on. My drawings, my skills, whatever I made. They will be proud of me just like how Halmeoni was proud of me. I want them to tell me how well I did, or scold me when I’ve done something wrong. I want so many things from them but it’s unfair if I would keep asking why I can’t have them. I know that they would never want for anything bad to happen. Umma would never want to leave me by myself and Appa would never want for me to show anyone else what I worked on without showing it to him first. They loved me, and they loved our family.

“Your Appa was a good son, and your Umma was a good wife. Together, they were good parents. They might be gone but they will always remain with us.”  She said when I remained silent. “Let’s visit them together next week, okay?” she faced me again.

I nodded and unhooked my arms from Halmeoni and used the back of my hand to dry up my damp eyes. “We will visit them Halmeoni.” I smiled when she turned to face me. “I have to tell them about my school, and my new friend. And everything else.”

Halmeoni held my face with one hand and smiled at me. I can tell that she was holding tears back as well. She inhaled deeply “You do just that when we go pay them a visit, okay?” she then patted my hair and narrowed her eyes at me. “But first, you have to tell me about today. Why don’t you go upstairs to change and then come down for dinner? We’re having something you like” Halmeoni went back to what she was doing “Hurry up and change, and make sure you call Hyukjae to have dinner with us, I know he likes this too.”

“Yes, Halmeoni.” I jokingly gave her a salute, making Halmeoni laugh, before grabbing my bag and MinBunny from the kitchen table and hastily walking up to my room.

“Are you sure they’re going to be fine?” Halmeoni gave the impression of nervousness as she asked about Sunny and Cho Kyuhyun’s condition.

“Yes, Sajang-nim.” Hyukkie answered this time.

“Cho Kyuhyun was taken by his sister to the hospital, and Sunny’s mom said she’ll let Sunny rest at home for a few days before sending her back to school to make sure she’s alright.” I followed after Hyukkie’s answer.

It was perfect that Halmeoni asked me to call Eunhyukkie for dinner. He helped me tell Halmeoni about what happened earlier. From going to the cafe then seeing Sunny there, to Hyukkie’s misplaced phone and Sunny seeing us again, asking for help. Of course leaving some details out, like the reason why Sunny gave us treats (which we finished munching on our way to Donghae’s place), and Cho Kyuhyun and his sister’s over-speeding problems.

“This boy Cho Kyuhyun, are you talking about the Cho Kyuhyun, as in the son of the Principal Cho?”

I gave Hyukkie a knowing glance, wondering if I should tell Halmeoni about it.. He gave a quick arch of an eyebrow, to say that I should tell Halmeoni who he is.

“Sungmin-ah?” Halmeoni waited for me to answer.

“Yes, Halmeoni. We were talking about the Principal’s son, Cho Kyuhyun.” I answered and ate the few remaining pieces of food on my plate when Halmeoni only nodded.

“Sajang-nim... I wish you were there to see how Sungmin fought those guys. He was like someone who’s in an action film.” Hyukkie shared to Halmeoni when he finished his own meal.

“Really now?” Halmeoni looked at me “Our Sungminnie is really great, isn’t he? I’m glad you and Hyukjae are safe”

“Halmeoni don’t forget Donghae too”

“Yes... and your friend Donghae too. I am proud of you for helping those who called for it. You know I could scold you for getting in trouble but you still went for it.” I know Halmeoni is worried, thinking about what she would do if something bad happens to me.

“I know that Halmeoni. I know you will be worried but please trust me on things like this. I didn’t learn martial arts for years just for nothing, right?” I reached for her hand on the table.

She reached for my hand too. “I know, I know. I am trying my best to calm myself and not to worry.” She laughed a little. “Aigo, our Sungminnie is the only baby we have here at home of course not only me, but everyone who cares for you here will be worried. You’ve grown to be a fine young man but you will always be our little Sungminnie.”

Hyukkie gave Halmeoni the same look I did. We both admire my Halmeoni’s love and care for everyone especially for me. She made sure I’d grow up to be a good person, just like how my Umma wanted me to be. But she also made sure that I’ll be strong and determined just like how she brought up Appa.

“Did you really take out all four guys?” Halmeoni still wouldn’t believe it. She suddenly shook her head laughing. “I’m sorry... It’s just that I was thinking how a boy like you could have done that when you still throw tantrums when MinBunny is missing. See, you even brought him to school today.” Halmeoni teased and Hyukkie gave it a laugh.

I pulled my hand back from her hold, “Halmeoni!” I pretended to be mad “It wasn’t funny, I could’ve died of worrying when you hid MinBunny inside your ancient closet!” What I said earned more laughs. Yes, Halmeoni can be very strict in front of her staff and mostly everyone under her management but she is like this. She’d prank me, more than I’d do to her.

“Aiyah~ Sungminnie! The look on your face when Sajang-nim placed MinBunny in front of you after hours of searching was really priceless!” Hyukkie said pressing on his cheeks that were probably hurting now from laughing.

“Omo... Hyukjae is right I thought you’re going to run away from home and hate me forever when I returned MinBunny.” They continued to laugh while I tried not to smile.

“Halmeoni, I’m still not able to get back at you on you on that.” I smiled at Halmeoni deviously. “I guess I would have to get married within a year, neh?”

“You wouldn’t” she said still laughing.

“I could.” I replied.

“You could...” she gave narrowed her eyes at me. “But you wouldn’t” Halmeoni said sounding so sure about it.

“Sungmin-ah, Sajang-nim is right, you wouldn’t!” Hyukkie followed

“Hah!” I exclaimed. “Yeah... you’re right, I wouldn’t” taking what I said back.

Halmeoni began getting up from her seat. “See, our Sungminnie is still too innocent to even go on dates, I highly doubt that you’d get married that fast.” She teased more.

“You should start working on your first kiss soon Sungminnie! Maybe then you’d be able to start dating” Hyukkie teased even more.

“Lee Hyukjae! I’m surprised that you’re saying that, you’re older than me but there wasn’t even a time when that you told me you liked someone.” I retorted.

“Maybe I just don’t want to tell you.” He stuck his tongue out at me.

I gave him the same response and ended up laughing along with him and Halmeoni.

I couldn’t sleep.

I was tossing and turning in my bed. MinBunny’s probably annoyed at me right now because he couldn’t sleep as well, with me moving around like that.

I was thinking of what happened earlier.

I guess it’s normal for people to think about the incidents that happened to them before they sleep but what shocked me was that I am mostly thinking about Cho Kyuhyun. I wonder what happened to him after he was taken to the hospital by his sister. He was badly hurt and I can tell from the way that he was kicked around and how he bled. He really was badly hurt.

I admired that he managed not to fight back.

After being in so much pain and his pride walked on just like that, it was an unbearable situation. Being the type of person he is, I know it must have been hard for him not to. Surely he’s doing it for a good reason. Hearing Donghae say his reasons for not fighting back, I admired his will.

I clutched MinBunny tight to my side. “Is admire even a right word to use for what I think about Cho Kyuhyun, MinBunny?” Again I turned to my other side taking MinBunny with my movements, thinking of my so-called hate for the said person.

Sure, his coldness was annoying.

He’s kind of a jerk actually. Remember when he ignored apologies and wouldn’t admit his faults?

He’s arrogant too. This morning, me, Donghae, motorcycle, over-speeding. Do you still remember?

But why am I suddenly over-looking it? Is it because he helped Sunny? Is it because he’s a good son?

I turned to my other side again. I’m not really sure.

I’m not familiar with things like this. I don’t think I ever really disliked or hated anyone before. I could’ve hated the people who threatened Halmeoni’s business, or those who murdered my parents, and those who tried to do the same to me, but I don’t. I don’t know who they are. I don’t even remember them anymore.

Did I really hate Cho Kyuhyun? Am I going to take it back now? I think I still hate him or maybe not really hate him, I just don’t like him.

I don’t like him, do I?

I sprawled myself on my bed, my hands dangling from the sides of my bed and my feet far apart, MinBunny lying on top of me.

Why am I thinking about these things right now? It’s get