063

Descended FromThe Stars
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I sigh as I exit Daesung's classroom, shutting the door softly behind me, barring the students still working on their test from the outside world.


It's been almost two weeks since the appearance of my latest Warrior, my most recent brush with death, and I am in no way recovered from the incident. Despite my stunt earlier in the year that also almost killed me, the most recent one seems to have affected me more, most likely because I was forced to face my biggest fear, I didn't have control and because of that lack of control, I was hurt, severely.

And there was nothing I could do to stop him.
 

Things had changed as soon as I woke up, that much was clear.
 

No one was smiling, no one laughed for days and their tears were stained with tracks made from the tears that had long since dried up. It's hard to believe that only hours before we were having the time of our lives playing in the freshly fallen snow.
 

They think I don't notice the yells in the middle of the night, almost always followed by the quiet opening and shutting of a door and footfalls in the hall around the corner from my room. Tao, Kai and surprisingly Baekhyun seem to never be able to sleep a full night without creeping into bed with one o the others, seeking comfort and a reprieve from whatever haunts their dreams.
 

Twice, the nightmares have been so bad that one Warrior has come to seek me directly, needing to make sure for himself that I am in fact alive and that with his best efforts I did survive.
 

It is only those two nights that I myself have been able to sleep a full night without waking up in a cold sweat, ripples of unseen fire the underside of my skin, a form of phantom pain that continues to strike most frequently during my dreams, turning visions of bright fields to ash.  
 

Only Lay seems to chase the flames away.
 

I feel guilty. None of them had any problems sleeping beyond the first few days with me and somehow I know that they're dreams are darkened by the attack, or more accurately, the effect of the attack. I don't know if it's the event itself or any memories it may have triggered, possibly a mixture of both.
 

Either way, it pains me to see the changes within my Warriors and more than one I have cried myself to sleep after hearing them rise to seek comfort, feeling at fault even though it has been made clear several times that I am not.
 

The mood in the house is darker. I have no idea what my new Warrior looks like, beyond his silhouette and sandy blonde hair, I've been too nervous to stay in the same room as him for more than a few seconds, even with the rest of my Warriors hovering protectively.
 

In fact, I've been too terrified to be in the same room as many people recently. For the first three days after the incident, I struggled to be in class, the presence of practical strangers who could attack me at any time sending me into a mental panic. I was sent home the first day after running out of the room without warning, Daesung chasing after me and failing to get me to explain, no matter the amount of prompting.
 

He himself had to call to one of my Warriors, somehow managing to call upon Chanyeol without being bonded to him of touching his card. Despite the circumstances of his summoning, I was more than grateful to be sent home and excused from the rest of the day. Grateful that someone cared enough to not push me past my limits, even though coming to class had been upon my own insistence and was met with harsh opposition from my Warriors.

 

Brushing arms with the people I pass on the street sends phantom pain through my body and leaves me almost unable to move, much the opposite of what actually happened. I still feel the white-hot pain but I cannot scream, I cannot move and I cannot escape it.
 

It strikes randomly and flares with any physical contact, but I push through the attacks, repeating what seems to be my new mantra every time it acts up. It's all in my head, none of it is real, I'm stronger than a memory and will not let it control my life. I am in control, my newly developed fear does not rule me. 
 

I know my Warriors worry for me, they're more cautious in their actions and don't tend to initiate physical contact as much with me anymo

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Comments

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Charlotte0619 #1
Chapter 95: love this book so much re-read for the 5th time x hope your doing well x
aonani_k
#2
Chapter 95: Hope you are well.
aonani_k
#3
Chapter 95: I miss this story so much, I might as well re-read it. Hope you are doing well. :)
aonani_k
#4
Chapter 95: Just coming here to say how much I love this story. Okay, bye~
Paku_Karat #5
Chapter 95: Wow...... i really never thought big bang as council of 5...its nice twist
aonani_k
#6
Chapter 95: Omg! AHHHHHHHH! This was intense! Lay! Oh gosh Luhan! I was at the end of my seat reading everything. But this glif hanger! I'm totally going crazy and loving the thought of Sehun appearing in the story. I'm just.... excited!
LayZfeeLit
#7
Chapter 95: You are evil. EVIL. KANSBSHSOSLSMNDKD
BIG BANG ARE THE COUNCIL OF THE FIVE?
MY MY MY MY
I hope xing is fine though 😭💜
RilenA #8
Chapter 95: This is getting so good!!! So glad i stuck around!!!!
Myzurah
#9
Chapter 95: They're scary when they mad. Never made these boys angry again. Lmao, Avery just remembered about the letter 😆