Alex’s POV~

We were shopping all day and by the time we stopped for some ice cream, our arms were up to the elbows with shopping bags.

“Can I have two vanilla ice creams, please?” Uki asked the lady politely.

She nodded and went off to get two ice cream cones.

“Oh, no, Uki, I’ve got my own ice cream,” I said, fumbling for my wallet.

“Oh save it,” she told me. “Ice cream’s what? Two bucks? It’s fine.”

I smiled and nodded. “Thanks.”

After receiving our ice cream, we headed to a clean table and gave mercy to our poor arms, letting all the shopping bags rest on the bench.

“So what’s new?” Uki asked, eating her ice cream thoughtfully while I finished the whole thing in practically two bites. Her eyebrows shot up and an amused smile formed on her face. “Do you want another one?”

“No, no, it’s okay,” I answered, wiping my mouth with a napkin.

I pulled the napkin back and smiled at seeing glittery pink lip gloss smeared on the napkin. It felt so good to finally go around as a GIRL! Just a little foundation, eye liner, and mascara made me SO happy, and wearing GIRL’S jeans and a GIRL’S V. You don’t know how much you miss simple things like skinny jeans until you’ve gone six months without them. It just felt so good! I noticed Uki kept studying me and she shook her head in disapproval.

“What?” I asked, blinking at her.

“It’s sucha waste,” she said.

“What’s a waste?” WAS SHE TALKING ABOUT ME?! WHAT?!

“You’re such a pretty girl and you have to go and waste all those good looks acting like a boy,” she said sadly.

Oh.

“I never could have agreed to such a thing,” she said with a laugh, STILL finishing her ice cream. She’s sucha slow eater! “You know, if you were to dress like that around the house, all the guys would fall for you.”

I shook my head. “That’s what you’re here for.”

She looked at me, confused. “Huh?”

“Uki, you’re so oblivious! All the guys in the house have fallen for you. Even Leeteuk, who hates the idea of any girl near Super Junior. And Donghae, who said he’d never fall for another girl as pretty as Jessica. You’re so much prettier than her, so what the heck! I’m sure that the only ones who haven’t fallen for you are Shindong and Siwon, for obvious reasons,” I said. “So the guys don’t need another girl in the house when they already have you.”

She laughed a genuine laugh at me. “Alex, you’re so ridiculous! They may have crushes on me, but none of them truly loves me. All they see is a girl who can cook, a girl who can clean, and that’s what they like. If they knew you were a girl, they’d fall head over heels for you ‘cause you’re sucha genuine person.”

“And you aren’t?”

She ate her ice cream thoughtfully and shrugged her shoulders. “I never realized it before, but I tend to put up a front every day. Like, the moment I wake up, I automatically put up my façade. It’s become somewhat automated for me every morning. Everyone thinks that I’m this tough girl who doesn’t give a crap about what everyone else says. And while that’s true to some extent, I’m only human. I have emotions, too, and I’ve just been hurt way too many times in the past to actually let anyone see the real me. I feel as though a façade is the only way to get through in life and only those who can break through it are worth my time.”

I thought for a second. “Can I be completely honest with you?”

She looked surprised for a second. “Yeah, of course.”

“I hated you.”

She laughed. “Way to be blunt. Ehh. Everyone’s thought that at one point or another. I’ve just learned that haters are gonna hate. What’re you gonna do about it, right?”

“How can you just say that?” I asked, my frustration beginning to show. “I just flat out told you I hated you and you just brushed it off like it was nothing.”

“Like I said. I’ve faced alotta haters in my life, and I’ve learned along the way that the only way to deal with them is to just ignore them and move on with life. Haters are narrow-minded and they never leave room for you to say what you want to say to defend yourself, so why bother? They’re not worth my time or effort so I’m not gonna give them my time or effort.”

“I just don’t understand you, Uki.”

“Look, with an older brother in Super Junior, you learn to deal with it. People out there are gonna be trashing him or trashing them, and all we can do is just not let it faze us.”

“Easy for you to say. I usually end up in a fight,” I muttered.

She laughed. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve busted a couple faces myself for some of the stuff they say. But for the most part, I just move on with life.”

I shook my head. “I’m jealous of you, ya’ know? I worked for months to earn my place in the dorm, and you just come sweeping in and everyone’s all ‘Oh my God, it’s Uki!’I was just so jealous at first.”

She laughed. “So what do you think of me now?”

“I think you can be a bit of a brat, no offense. But I also think that you do everything you do because of the guys. You give up too much for them. First your job at SM, and now your chance to be happy? It’s just too much.”

“Well, look at you! You gave up being a girl for them. I highly doubt anything I do from here on can ever top that. Besides, we’ve both given a lot up for them, but neither of us ever complain. So to be honest? I’m actually jealous of you. You can’t see it, but the way some of the guys that know you’re a girl look at you is something to envy.”

My face blushed. “Like whom?”

“Well, Hangeng to begin with. He’s so much in love with you it’s almost sickening.” She gave a laugh. “Not to be mean. I’ve just never gone for the whole mushy gushy stuff. And the way Henry looks at you, it’s full of nothing but admiration and care. And Kyuhyun, that guy makes me laugh. Even my brother, which I try not to pay too much attention to.”

She was still finishing her ice cream—jeez, woman, how can you eat so slowly?!—when what she said just dawned on me. “Kyuhyun doesn’t know I’m a girl.”

She looked at me, brow raised in question. “Yes he does.”

“No, he can’t. Nobody ever told him.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “Nobody ever told me either.”

I blinked for a second and shook my head. No, he can’t know. There’s just no way. Okay. So I don’t wanna talk about this anymore. Let’s bring up a new topic! “Let’s stop by SM.”

I noticed she went rigid for a second, but only for a second. She’s good at keeping up a façade, but if you just watch closely, you notice tiny little things she does to give away what she’s trying to cover up. But of course, all the guys in the house are idiots, so they never pay attention to such small details.

“No,” she said simply. “You can, but I promised myself that I’d never step foot in that place again.”

“You also promised you were never going to live in Seoul again,” I said quietly.

The corners of pulled down slightly in a frown. Another thing that she does a lot to give away how she’s truly feeling. Why is it that nobody ever notices these things?

“I-I just can’t bring myself to do it, Alex,” she said quietly, keeping her gaze at the ice cream cone in her hands that was completely empty of ice cream now. She slowly began nibbling on the cone itself and said, “Too many things went down in that place. If I go back, all Hell is gonna break loose.”

“You’ve already given up a lot for the guys,” I said, trying my best to convince her to go, “why not do this one thing?”

She looked at me, a determined look in her eyes and just finished her ice cream cone. “Let’s go.”