Uki’s POV~

I suppose I had fallen asleep up on the roof at some point last night and Leeteuk had carried me back to my room, ‘cause when I woke up, I was sleeping on my bed again. I looked at the clock to see a blue 9:48 A.M. and sighed. Throwing my blanket off and my feet over the edge of the bed for the second time that morning, I stretched, yawned, and grabbed my things, heading to the bathroom to get ready for the morning. While shampooing my hair, a pang of sadness just hit me. I didn’t know why, but it wouldn’t go away.

I quickly finished my shower, dressed, and plopped myself right on the floor, my back against the wall, my chin resting on my arms which were folded neatly on my knees. I stared at the tile, thinking. I couldn’t explain what I was feeling at the moment and it was just so frustrating since I’d never felt this way before! I mean, I thought I’d already ruled out sadness as an emotion tied to Michelle and Troy. So why was I feeling so dang depressed all of a sudden? Before I knew it, my face was wet with slow and silent tears. I didn’t bother wiping them, deciding to just let them fall instead. Why was I feeling so sad?

Was it because of Leeteuk?

No, it can’t be. I already told myself a long time ago that it wouldn’t work between us. I was just confirming for myself last night, but that’s no reason to be sad. He’s still gonna be Leeteuk and I’m still gonna be Uki. Nothing’s gonna change.

There was a knock on the door, accompanied by Kyuhyun’s voice saying, “Yah, Uki, what’re you doing in there?! Some of us have bladders to think about out here!”

I smiled to myself through the tears and quickly wiped them, standing up and gathering my things. I opened the door and kept my head ducked so he wouldn’t see that I had been crying. “Sorry, oppa, it’s all yours.”

But he was too smart. He stopped me by the shoulders, ducking to look at my face. “Hey, are you crying?” he asked gently. “You can have the bathroom if you want! I can go to the bathroom upstairs, it’s okay.”

I laughed and quickly shook my head, turning my face away from him and tried walking to my room, but he wasn’t having it.

“I-I promise you, it’s just allergies,” I lied.

“’Just allergies’ don’t call for tears and an upset Uki,” he said with a small smile, wiping away a tear that had somehow managed to slip without my knowledge of it. “C’mon, what’s going on?”

Although I could see that he was genuinely concerned about me, I said, “N-nothing. I honestly don’t even know what’s going on with me right now. I suppose I’m just going through a bipolar phase.” I tried playing it off with a little laugh, but he saw right through it.

“Uki, sometimes it’s okay to show weakness. Everyone has those moments. Not all of us can be strong all the time, no matter how much we would like to be. And it’s okay if you have those moments because there’s a house of fifteen guys here who would protect you and make sure you’re okay,” Kyuhyun reassured me.

I smiled and hugged him. “Thanks, oppa. Now go take care of your bladder! I gotta get ready for the day.”

He nodded and finally let me go, heading into the bathroom. I stood there, blinking, and smiled to myself, knowing that what he told me was true. I turned and opened the door to my room, and stumbled upon quite an amusing sight that brought my first full on, real smile to my face in what seemed like eternity. I stifled a laugh when I saw Hangeng and Alex making out in the middle of my room, one of Hangeng’s hands wrapped around the handle of his suitcase, the other around Alex’s waist. Finally, I just busted out laughing. And I mean, it was a real, legitimate laugh, not those fake, forced ones that I’d been doing a lot for the past couple of days.

Hangeng and Alex broke apart, looking at me with red faces.

“In my room?” I asked, laughing giddily. “Really now? Just imagine for one second that I were, oh, let’s just say Eunhyuk, who had walked in here, not knowing a thing about Alex being a girl. What would I have thought then?”

Alex bit her lip and looked to the floor in embarrassment. Hangeng just hugged her closer to him and kissed her temple.

“You’d think that we were gay,” he responded, “and since I’m so much in love with Alex, I’d be okay with that.”

I laughed even harder and shook my head at the two of them. “You guys crack me up. Oh, but don’t mind me, I’ll be outta here soon enough. Just not on the bed, okay? I wouldn’t wanna taint it.”

“Uki!” Alex yelled, her face as red as a tomato.

“Oh don’t worry, there’s a perfectly usable couch right here,” Hangeng said, motioning to the couch with a wink directed toward me.

“Yah!” Alex said, hitting Hangeng lightly on the chest. “Hangeng!”

“Relax,” he said, holding her at arms’ length. “I was just kidding.”

I smiled at seeing the two of them together, all happy and couple-y and relationship-y and whatnot. That pang of sadness was still there, but I decided to ignore it for now and put a smile on my face like I do every day. Despite what Kyuhyun had said to me, I needed to show everyone that nothing was wrong because I didn’t need them to take their focus off their work just to worry about my petty problems. They had other things to worry about. Besides, I was a big girl. I could handle myself.

“Hey, Alex, are you free today or are you gonna be pre-occupied with a few other things?” I asked, smiling when her face turned even redder and Hangeng kissed her on the cheek.

“She’ll be free,” Hangeng answered for her.

Alex looked at him and pouted. “I am?”

“I’m really sorry, bao bei,” he said, kissing her hand. “But that jerk, Lee Soo-man, found out I was in town and he wants to talk over some stuff with me and the rest of the members.”

My eyes darkened at the mention of his name and suddenly, all my problems evaporated, my train of thought switching to a lawyer’s once more. “What do you mean? He can’t do that without your lawyer present and with you during this meeting.”

“That’s what I thought, too,” he said, running a hand through his hair, “but he insisted, and is sending a car for us and everything. And the guys can’t refuse since, ya’ know, they have all these obligations and whatnot, and if I refuse to go, the guys get in trouble. And, well, I don’t wanna get them in trouble. I’ve already put this band through a lot. I don’t wanna cause any more trouble.”

“No, no, no,” I kept repeating, shaking my head, a determined look on my face. “That isn’t right. He can’t do that. He can’t discuss any legal matters with you related to the lawsuit unless your lawyer is there with you. And obviously he isn’t, so the jerk face can’t do that!”

“What can I do, Uki? I’m stuck. I can’t just not go. I’m gonna get the guys in trouble.”

“And if you do go, you’re not gonna have a chance in there! He’s gonna say something that’ll manipulate this lawsuit and you’ll agree to something you don’t even know about. Hangeng, you can’t go today. Call, reschedule, do something until you find a way to get your lawyer out here.”

Alex pulled on Hangeng’s shirt, making him look into her worried eyes. “Geng, listen to Uki, please! She knows about this stuff. I don’t want you to get into trouble and I don’t want this lawsuit to get anymore horrible. Please?”

He looked at her, a look of genuine concern in his eyes. Then he shook his head. “Even if I wanted to listen to you, I couldn’t. My lawyer’s in China and he’s tied up with other stuff, so he wouldn’t fly out here. It’s okay. I’ll go face them myself, I’ll be fine.”

“Taking on more than one case at once,” I muttered disgustedly under my breath, “how preposterous and unprofessional!”

“Uki, go and be his lawyer for the day!” Alex suddenly said.

“What!” I exclaimed, eyes wide with panic.

“Uki, please. You said so yourself. They don’t have a chance in there without someone who knows all about this stuff. I’ve heard about all those times that you helped the guys out in other legal situations. Please,” she begged, eyes holding a pleading look.

Hangeng looked at me, a hopeful look in his eyes. “Uki, please?”

I shook my head quickly. “No,” I said, “no, no, no, no, no! You can’t ask me to go back to that godforsaken place! I can’t step foot in that building again! Ever!”

“Uki, please,” Alex begged, coming up to me, her hands clasped in a begging motion.

I shook my head. “I-I’m really sorry. But I can’t step foot in that place again.”

Alex nodded her head, frowning a little. “I understand. I’m…I’m just really worried about what might happen.”

Hangeng came over and kissed her temple again, rubbing her arm in reassurance. “Don’t you worry about a thing. Everything will be fine, I promise.”

Alex let out a heavy breath. “And I suppose they wouldn’t let someone like me into the meeting?”

He shook his head slightly and smiled at her admirable determination. “Bao bei, don’t worry about me, okay? I’m a big boy and I can take care of myself. I don’t need Uki playing mommy and holding my hand through the mess I’ve created for myself.”

I hit his shoulder with my towel and tossed him a friendly glare. “I don’t play mommy. But I really am sorry, oppa. I-it’s…I just can’t bring myself to step foot in that place again. I really hope you understand.”

He gave me a reassuring smile. “Uki, don’t sweat it. It’s okay.” Then, after quickly kissing Alex on the lips, he says, “I better get ready. They’re supposed to be here to pick us up soon.”

“Hey, Alex, since you don’t have anything to do today, why don’t we hang out?” I asked.

Alex’s brows raised in surprise. “Really? Just you and I?”

“Unless you’re afraid I’m gonna jump you or something,” I said with a laugh. “C’mon, it’ll be fun! And it’ll even give you a chance to finally shed that boy’s image and dress like the pretty girl I know you are.”

Hangeng smiled at Alex. “She’s right, ya’ know. You’re one beautiful girl.”

Alex looked away, a smile on her face, blushing. “Hangeng! Uki’s in the room.”

I rolled my eyes and smiled at her. She was just so much like Donghae! Always getting embarrassed at the tiniest little things. It was cute on both of them.

“Oh no, don’t mind me,” I said, turning my back on them to search through my closet for clothes to wear.

“You should go,” I heard Hangeng say to Alex.

“But I wanna be there for you, Geng, just in case things don’t go well,” Alex said, her voice ladled with worry and fear.

Guilt clenched my insides as I fought back the tears and picked out a pair of dark skinnies and a hug-the-body white V for the day.

“Shh~” he shushed her gently. Then I heard the little sound that was made after a kiss. “Everything will turn out okay. I promise.”

“How do you know?” Alex asked worriedly.

“I just do. But in the mean time, you should go with Uki! Enjoy being a girl freely. You deserve it after the tough façade you’ve been putting up here for the past six months.”

“Uki? Is it okay if I go with you today?” she asked timidly.

I turned and looked at her. “Why wouldn’t it be?! Besides, I asked you, remember?”

“Well…I just figured…What with recent events taking place…That you didn’t…” She trailed off, her face red in embarrassment.

I laughed. “Uki, I was practically drunk when you came in here yelling. I didn’t know what was going on, Leeteuk was throwing a fit, I had a headache, it was just a bad day for all of us. I mean I don’t hate you and I hope that the feeling is mutual.”

Alex looked at me then snuck a glance at Hangeng, a smile forming on her face. “The feeling’s definitely mutual. Let’s go shopping!”