Paranoia

BY HOOK OR BY CROOK (EDITING)

He can’t sleep. Changmin and Yunho immediately dozed off because of exhaustion. Junsu was like wise exhausted but somehow, sleep wasn’t on his side that night. One more thing, he hated to close his eyes because all he saw was the girl that he kissed so passionately, the girl he kissed like his heart belongs to her. He hated the feeling. It felt like it slowly overtaking his mind. Yoochun was right; he screwed up, big time.

After few hours of thinking, he finally came up with a decision. He will tell Saki, he will tell everything that happened. She will be hurt and he was so sure about it, but there was no other way. Their relationship was on the line. It didn’t matter if nobody saw it, he promised her to be truthful at all times and he will do exactly what he promised. No matter how painful it will be for the both of them, he will give it a good shot.

He took a deep breath before he covered himself with his blanket and closed his eyes. Surprisingly, after deciding to tell Saki everything, he finally fell asleep.

 

 

“One Spicy Ramen please.” Kyu Hyun winked at her.

She smiled in return. “Regular?” she asked.

“Special… like you.”

She rolled her eyes and smiled once again. “Your girl might be jealous if she hears you say that.”

“Don't worry, she won’t.”

“And you’re that sure?” she wrote his order down.

“Yup.” He nodded as he looked at the menu for the second time.

He wasn’t really the type of guy of eat ramen a lot, but since she works at a shop that serves it, it instantly became his favorite.

“You should cook for me.” He suddenly said.

“I don't know how to cook.”

“Come one.” He pouted. “You cooked for Junsu hyung and at YooMi’s birthday.”

“That’s because Mimi helped me.”

He pouted even more. He was somehow jealous, how he wished that he met Saki even before Junsu came to the scene. He could’ve been her girl and he could’ve been the happiest guy on earth.

“You just have to settle on this spicy ramen.” She laughed because his reaction was really funny. She loved it when he pouted those small lips of his.

“Do I have a choice?”

 

 

 

“Hi, Xiah Oppa.” Zhang smiled at her sweetly but he just ignored her as if he didn’t see her.

He continued to walk the long lobby at the SME building. He cancelled all his appointment that day. He just came to get something form his manager and to his luck, Zhang was there.

She hissed with what he did so she hugged him from behind. Junsu squealed because of it and immediately twisted his body to break himself free but Zhang locked her arms on his torso.

“Zhang!” he yelled.

She did it once and he will never allow it to happen again.

“What’s wrong oppa?” she asked like she was about to cry. “You kissed me already, why are so cold?” still, she wasn’t letting him go.

“Wrong.” He had to use an unbelievable amount of force to finally break free. His blood instantly rose so he faced her with his burning eyes. He had to put Zhang to where she belongs. “You kissed me.” He said sharply.

“And you kissed me back! Why don't you just tell the truth?! We both enjoyed that moment!” she yelled, making Junsu angrier.

They were at the lobby for whatever’s sake and lots of people goes in there. Someone might here her howling so he forcedly grabbed her arm and literally pushed her inside a vacant practice room and looked the door.

“You don't wanna mess with me.” He said with angry eyes. He was pissed and annoyed at the same time. He thought that Yoona was the most annoying girl he met but he was wrong.

“I love you!” she his face with her palms but Junsu slapped them away ruthlessly.

“Can you hear what you’re saying? I don't like you! And never will. I love Saki and she’s the only one I’ll ever love get it?”

“No! I’m better than her! I’m famous and I’m prettier. Guys swoon over me but I don’t like them Oppa because I only want you. I’ve been praying for this day to come since I was a trainee.” She was actually begging.

It was true, everyday for the last five years since she first arrived in Korea, she had been praying that someday, Junsu will throw even a short glimpse at her - A dream that only came true when she debuted. And to her disappointment, Saki, Kim Jaejoong’s sister captured his heart already. But she will not give up easily.

Giving up wasn’t even written in her vocabulary. She will fight for what she wants until her last breath and Junsu was one of them. She didn’t care if she’s the sister of one of the DBSK, she’s Zhang Li Yin, the Chinese BOA and she can get whatever she wants.

 

“You’re wasting my time.” Junsu was about to leave but Zhang grabbed his hand and hugged it as if she was holding for her life.

But for the second time, Junsu just pushed her away. He didn’t care if she’s a girl or what, she didn’t deserve to be treated like one.

“Zhang get away from me!” he yelled, his face was blood red because of anger.

Zhang was slightly taken a back.

“Forget about that kiss because it meant nothing to me, get it?” he glared. “It was just a mistake, a big mistake that will NEVER happen again.” She was shot frozen, but Junsu was not finished yet.

“Please… give yourself a little respect and dignity. Wait for a guy to love you.” His words were cruel but she left him with no choice. “You’re right. You’re pretty, so you don't really have to offer yourself to anyone.”

“But I love you.” she whispered hoarsely as tears was slowly staining her face.

“I don't deserve your love.” His angered leveled down a little bit. Seeing him cry made him pity her. “Just wait. Someday, you will find someone worthy for it and you will realize that I’m right.”

He took a deep breath. “Saki is your friend and I know you don't want her to get hurt and I don't want to destroy your friendship. She consider you now as her closest friend so please….” His eyes were begging.

Zhang just looked down. Her knees suddenly weakened so she just sat on the floor,looking down and she heard the door closed.

 

 

“Let’s go?” Kyu Hyun started his engine and helped Saki put on her seatbelt.

“Are you sure about this?” she shyly asked. “I know you’re busy. I can ride a bus. Our house is not too far from here.”

“Don't worry. I’m sure Junsu Hyung will be glad to see that I’m taking care of your.” He smiled.

 

But what happened was the other way around. They were both laughing when they entered the house and saw DBSK on the living room sipping on some tea.

They instantly stopped when they saw five pairs of questioning eyes on them, including Junsu, whose stares were fiercer and more…dangerous.

“S-su…” she stumbled at her words. She walked towards him and kissed his cheek but he just remained standing. His eyes were fixed on Kyu.

“Hyung.”  Kyu Hyun bowed politely.

The others responded but it was obvious that they were not so happy about the scene. They had warned him before but he kept on doing the same thing.

“H-He went to the shop and since my time was about… was about to end so… so he volunteered to drive me home.” She explained to everyone. She knew Junsu was watching her. She was looking down but she could still feel his stares.

 

“Thank you then.” Jaejoong said to Kyu. “LeeTeuk Hyung is waiting for you so you better get going.”

Kyu nodded.

“I’ll go ahead Saki.” He smiled.

She smiled back which made Junsu a lot more heated.

“Thank you.” she was about to open the door for him when Junsu suddenly speak.

“He can open the door for himself.” He said sternly which automatically stopped Saki. “I’m sure he’s not that handicapped.”

Kyu Hyun’s blood rose and he turned to say something but he controlled himself from doing it with respect to his other hyungs. He will take care of Junsu some other time.

 

“Dinner is ready.” Jaejoong said after Kyu left.  “We’re just waiting for you to come.”

She quietly nodded and went straight to the dining room.

 

 

It was a very quiet dinner for both Saki and Junsu. They sat beside each other but no one uttered a word, acting like they dont know each other.

Jaejoong and the rest were having their conversation, talking about their day and their plans for their upcoming album. They were laughing once in while but they failed to get the attention of the two, who were munching their food noiselessly.

“So how’s your day.” Jae tried to start a conversation with her.

“Fine.” She shortly said and went back to eating.

“Junsu said he has something to tell you.” Yoochun told her.

Junsu just looked down and felt a kicked from on his leg. He looked up and saw Yoochun glaring at him.

Saki looked at Junsu but he looked away once again, ignoring Yoochun’s kicks and glares.

“I guess, he swallowed his tongue.” And Yoochun went back to eating.

Junsu then dropped his chopsticks, wiped his lips and stood.

“You’re done?” Yunho asked.

He nodded and went to the porch. Saki was forced to leave her unfinished food and followed his upset boyfriend.

 

 

“Su…” she called him but got no response. “Yoochun Oppa said you have something to tell me.” She still tried, but still… she failed.

Fear suddenly wrapped her heart. That was'nt the first time Kyu drove her home and Junsu just let the first time passed. Still, she didn’t learn her lesson and now Junsu was upset. And it wasn’t the same as before. He kept on ignoring her.

She suddenly felt that he was about to something that will surely cause her pain. She braced herself with what he was going to say. But her heart will never be ready for any ache.

Junsu just stood there, listening to every word she said but he chose remain silent. He wanted to his anger to level down first before facing her. He was avoiding saying something that night hurt her.

The night wasn’t helping them at all. Fireflies which usually calms them down were nowhere in sight. The silence was deafening and Saki hated it.

“Su… please talk to me.” She pleaded. “I know you’re mad because I accepted Kyu’s invitation but please... we went straight home. I promise not to do that again. I will just take the bus instead.”

But still…. Silence responded to her.

“Su…” she was about to cry. “If… you…you don't like to talk to me… it’s okay… It’s my fault and I’m sorry.” She said before she turned away from him.

She was about to go to her room when finally, Junsu spoke.

“That guy always make me feel useless and unworthy.” He whispered.

His words made Saki sad. She wanted to hug him to give some comfort but she wasn’t sure if that what he really needed.

“We’re both busy but he always find time to be with you. I feel like he’s taking you away from me.”

“Su…” she somehow managed to touch his arm, and surprised to feel that it was trembling. She then leaned on his side and kissed his shoulder before she rested her head on it.

“I can’t even take you home. I just allow you to take a bus which is so dangerous. I can’t be with you all the time.  But that guy…” he sighed and Saki felt the heaviness in his heart. “…that guy seemed he got the best time the world can offer. And it’s so unfair.”

“I understand.” She said. “Believe me…  I understand. I know that you’re just busy but it will be over soon. We will be together once again just like before and I’m really looking forward for that. And…. No one is taking me away from you.”

Junsu looked at her in the eyes and gently her face. She was so beautiful and Junsu cannot afford to hurt and lose such beauty.

She smiled.

“I have something to say.”

And she braced herself for it.

“Will you forgive me for it?” he was having a second thought until the very last minute.

She nodded.

“I…” he felt something stuck on his throat.

Saki looked at him, waiting for what he was going to say.

“I…” he took a deep breath.

He cursed himself for stuttering. No matter what happen, he will follow his plan. He will tell Saki everything. And that was the moment.

“You what?” Saki said, puzzled, making her feel nervous than before.

“I … love you.”

She smiled and hugged him.

“I love you too.”

 

 He failed - a major failure. He hugged her back. He wasn’t ready to tell her, at least not yet. The risk was too high and he couldn’t afford it.

 

 

 

 

The next morning, as if fate was playing on them, Junsu, who was about to enter the practice the song Yoochun composed, crossed path with Kyu, who just finished practicing and was about to leave the place.

And fierce stares were thrown at each other. Kyu was braver that time, he was itching to shot him off and that was the right moment.

Junsu on the other hand just looked at him.

“Hyung.” He said blandly.

“Kyu.” Junsu matched his stares.

“Upset that we’re together last night?”

“Don't start.” He warned.

“You stares were so brutal last night.” He smirked. “If they can kill, I could have been dead last night.”

“Be thankful then.”

Kyu chuckled scornfully.

“You’re the one to who suppose to be thankful” he pointed at his chest.

“You are the most disrespectful among the maknaes.” He hissed but Kyu wasn’t affected…at all.

“You think you can bring me down with those words?”

He smiled sarcastically. “I know that you are worst than that.”

“You have that confidence because you know that Saki is your girlfriend.”

“ And always will be.” Junsu added.

“It wont be too long.” Kyu smirked at his hyung. “What will happen if Saki finds out that her Junsu is not that faithful to her?”

Junsu frowned.

“What are you saying?”

He just smiled, trying to kill Junsu with suspense.

“Answer me!” he howled and grabbed his collar and pinned him against the wall.

Kyu Hyun just allowed him to do what he wanted. His anger brought satisfaction to him.

“Scared now….. hyung?”

“I will break your face if you continue being that !” he couldn’t contain himself anymore.

“Go ahead.” The maknae challenged him.

Junsu then leaned forward, tightened his grip and gave his warning straight to his face.

“Stop pestering me, you moron.” He was expecting the maknae to be scared but it seemed like his words didn’t affect him at all. Kyu just laughed harder so he let him go.

“You’re crazy.” He then turned his back on him.

He decided to find another available room for him… free from any annoying people like Kyu. But when he was about to leave the room, Kyu said something that made him froze.

“You hate it when you see your girl with other guys…But you just kissed Zhang like a maniac during her debut…”

 

 

 

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Comments… suggestions and violent reactions are needed…^^

aejae22

BY HOOK OR BY CROOK

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myrah87 #1
Chapter 23: Evil maknae is back!!
Be careful Junsu..
LoveJYJ
#2
Chapter 75: Finished.......!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love this story ^^
and I Love Junsu so much.. hehehe..
Phoenix_Master #3
Chapter 75: *0* I like this story alot huhuhu
FxGenerationLover
#4
Why am i crying like a baby... i so love this story T-T you are such a talented person~
ElfCassieYenJi #5
i really cried beczuse of this story..!! I Love it.. <3
ElfCassieYenJi #6
omo the 3rd sequel... :0 I love it so long...!!! haha **reading mode :)
KyungMe_MVP
#7
WOWOWOWOWE ILOVE U SOO
UH AND HATEE U TOOO BUT I LOVE U MORE THAN I HATE YOU UR STORIES R THE BEST IN THIS WORLD I SWEAR EVERYTIME I THINK ABOUT THE STORY IT FEELS SOO REAL!REMEBER IN BY HEART WHEN YOOCHUN WAS ABOUT TO DIE ? I WAS AT SCHOOL AND WE WERE TALKING ABOUT DEATH AND HOW TO BARRY SOMEONE AND ONE OF THE GIRLS ASKED SOMETHING AND THE TEACHER SAID THE PERSON MAY DIE ON A HOSPITAL BED OR ANYWHERE AND I REMEBER YOOCHUNS INNCIDINT WHICH MADE ME TEAR UP BUT I HELD IT BECAUSE IT WOULD BE EMMBARESING TO TELL MY FRIENDS WHY I TEARD UP SO I IMMEDIATLY WIPED
THEM AND NO ONE NOTICED! AND EVERYDAY I KEEP THINK ABOUT THE STORY I SWEAR IT FEELS SO REAL THAT I FEEL LIKE IM LIVING WOTH THEM LOOVVVE KEEP THIS UPPPP I WONT EVER FORGET THIS STORYY EVEEEEEERRRR
crazysupaluv #8
This story is amazing! :))
chunnie-ah #9
gosh... you are a great writer from comical scenes and hilarious lines to heart gripping scenes, you and your story is wonderful. I wonder how jae's story would be and how his sisters and brothers by heart would be when he falls in love and encounters pain along with it. I'm excited to read jae's story... Thank you for this I enjoy chunnie/yoo-chi's parts in here... :D
chunnie-ah #10
there are so many crazy people in this world and is kyu really evil in reality (sorry I'm not a fan of Suju, though I know some of them)?