-7

Sequel from last chapter.

You're my alpha and omega.

I thought it was just his act.

Hugging me, joking with me, consoled me when I was down and whatever it was. When we met each other for the first time, he said that I had to be comfortable with him. I believed that I wasn’t a rude boy, but his face at that time was so friendly, his smile so addictive and calm that it washed away the fear in my heart.

So we immediately dropped honorifics to each other.

I thought it was because I didn’t have older brother that I was so happy if he was around. I tended to lean on him, acted cute to get what I wanted from him and he pampered me with all his heart. He always said that he was glad that he got to have four younger brothers to take care of, especially the clingy me. He told me that he had so much love stored because he received it, but no one to give the love back.

Then, I didn’t know when, but I started to pay attention to his gesture, his face –when he was happy, sad, angry, mad- and all other things he did. I tried to not hurting his heart because he was so fond of me and by paying attention to him, I knew when I had to give him a space for himself.

But he said that he never wanted a space to exist between us.

It was like a telepathy; I could send him signal when I wanted him to be by my side. He would come to me and started a conversation about whatever he wanted to talk about. Starting conversation was his strength and I was thankful because I didn’t know what to say first. From that little talks we had, he was completely different persona in stage and off stage. He gave the cool and killer aura with him when he was on camera, but then the childish side of him would appear as soon as he wasn’t shot. If I didn’t use to be a joker when I was in school, I believed that he would snatch that title from me.

However, it didn’t have to happen because we’re the jokers.

At first, I thought it was because I was used to get his full attention that I started to get this uneasy feeling when he talked to Little Seunghyun, Jiyong Hyung or Bae Hyung. I didn’t like the idea of he acted friendly to the others, but I realized that I was such a fool to have that kind of feeling. He’s a big hyung for us, and it was common for the big hyung to care about his dongsaengs.

Then that parodies happened.

He kissed Little Seunghyun and Jiyong Hyung.

Why it was so easy for him to kiss them?

Then I got my script. I had to kiss him too.

No, scratch that.

He had to kiss me.

It was a mere kiss, but it got me thinking about his lips non-stop. Sure it wasn’t my first kiss but my mind kept replaying the scene again and again. I was certain that I felt a wet tongue brushed my lips for seconds and I really wanted to ask Jiyong Hyung or Little Seunghyun whether they got the same thing from Seunghyun Hyung. However, I think I had to keep it by myself. Even it’s hard for me to keep my face straight when I was around him.

I hate this feeling.

**

Time passed and I was drowned into my own activities and he also was busy with his own, but he never missed a day to text me. I would stare at my phone and smiled like crazy. I thought being far away from each other could make me forget the kiss. Yes it could, for a while. But when the memories started to fade away, he created a new memory:

Kissing me on my cheek at the KPOP Night Concert in Singapore.

It was like a dream for me.

When I was alone with my thought, the picture of him cupping my face and kissing my lips or cheek appeared again. Then if that happened, the blood would rush to my cheeks and my body became hot. Why he kissed me?

And I realized it wasn’t a kind of hyung-dongsaeng love.

Then what is that?

 **

It seemed that he had me on his hands.

We had to share apartment and that was the last thing I wanted to do. Even we used to live together in dorm, there were another three people who lived under the same roof. My brain told me that I had to refuse his offer, but my heart screamed yes aloud when he asked me to share apartment.

Then the sweet torture began.

He would pester me to come to his room, and with his cuteness he would make me heard his song over and over again. My mouth could say that I didn’t like him to bother my personal time, but my heart said the other. I really loved being with him and I wanted to be by his side all the time.

Like that time.

He came home and I could see that he was tired. His dark circle became obvious that I thought he would snatch Panda title from the maknae. After saying hello he went to his own room. My heart was sunk when he closed the door of his room because I expected more than a greet from him. Seeing him down like that, I wanted to console him, hugging him to brush the uneasy feeling away, like he used to do for me.

I decided to go to my own room, sat on my bed while hugging my own le