I didn’t know what time it was when the consciousness was back into my body. The first thing that I realized that you were cuddling into my chest, purring like a cat, sleeping soundly. Your body moved up and down evenly and you were so comfortable under my embrace. Chuckling sound came out from my mouth when I saw some strands of your black hair went stiff and I combed them to the back of your head, revealing your temple. I really wanted to place a kiss on it, but I was afraid to wake you up.

It seemed that I always was afraid of anything when it came about you.

I took your hand that was grabbing my stomach and I caressed it gently, trailing all the parts of your hand: your long fingers, the delicate skin of your back hand and the well-trimmed nail. I brought your hand to my mouth and filled the space between your fingers with my fingers, then kissing it gently while closing my eyes. Suddenly, I felt like I couldn’t breathe because of the happy feeling that spread on my body. My heart become bigger and I needed to take a deep breath.

I love you so much, Hyunnie.

I buried my face on your hair and inhaled your scent. You smell like , I giggled again. Your sweat, your shampoo, and a bit of my scent; all mixed into one.

“Because we’re one, Hyung,”

That was I said when you were crazy about no one congratulating you when it was your birthday. You said that you spend your birthday alone, singing happy birthday song alone and it made you crazy. I remembered that you enveloped me from behind while caressing my hand. You kept saying anything without realizing what I was feeling about that ministration, right? You were busy complaining, squeezing my arms, shoulder, hand; didn’t you realize that it was recorded?

You.

You made me used to all your attention, your gesture of love, your texts and your voice until I felt like something amiss when I didn’t get those from you. I needed you to text me, I needed you to touch me, I needed you to ask me about my day, every day. You were so sure about your feelings while I was confused about what to do –that’s why I left you.

I was afraid.

All the things you did overwhelmed me.

It was not only once or twice you tried to show your love by hugging me, touching me, kissing me, or try to kiss me in front of the camera. As much as I loved the attention, I was afraid of people’s comment about us. But you seemed like you didn’t care about that.

‘You should stop worry about that thing, Dae-baby. It’s your feeling that matters. I have you and I don’t care about anything else. They could leave if they don’t like the fact that we’re together,’ that was you said to me while holding my hands.

Then you whispered ‘I love you’ to my ear.

I looked at your face again. Thinking about your love just made me want to hit your sharp nose with my fore finger, not to the extent of waking you up though. But you mumbled something against my chest after I hit your nose. I pulled up the blanket, thinking that you were cold because you were sleeping without your pajama.

Then I heard you mumbled something again, but this time I dared myself to ask, “Why Hyunnie? Is there something wrong?”

“Mmh-mmm,”

“Yes?” I asked you once again.

With your sleepy eyes and pouty mouth, you lifted up your head and said it more clearly, “Huuug… Kiss… Cooldd…” then you snuggled deeper and hugged me tighter.

I huffed a laugh at your cute act and kissed your temple. I enveloped your body once again. “Sorry for waking you up,