Inspired by Taeyang's speech at MAMA 2015

After MAMA 2015, December 3rd 2015

Seoul slowly became cold and the temperature was nearing zero. Daesung was enveloped himself into a blanket at the apartment and drinking his hot chocolate. He watched the busy Seoul from his apartment. Seoul was busy and lively despite the coldness, exact opposite of his feeling right now: empty and dull.

It’s because Youngbae’s speech that reminded him about BIGBANG schedule from now on. It might be difficult for all five of them to attend event like MAMA together. One by one would go to military service, it’s unavoidable as the citizen of South Korea. No matter how much someone wanted to stall the time, it’s responsibility anyway. Either comply with it, or face the consequences.

His Jiyong hyung tried to console him on the stage, he also wore his smiling mask after Youngbae said that. Thank you for reminding me, Hyung. As much as he wanted to kick Youngbae, he knew it’s the truth that his hyung had said.

Daesung sighed.

No matter how many times he heard about Seunghyun upcoming military service, it’s still stabbing his heart. He thought that if he heard the fact again and again, he would be immune –or numb. But then words are sharper than swords. It hurt. Lazily, he moved to sit beside the window. He dragged his blanket along and grabbing erasable markers before reaching the seat.

He smiled at his window.

It’s full of Seunghyun’s handwritings –which he loved it so much. He traced the window with his fingers. There’s a cute drawing of him by the oldest. Seunghyun drew the cute version of him on point: his small eyes and full lips, plus a pair of wings. ‘Keep smiling, my angel’ was written under the drawing followed by two small hearts. The other one was a drawing of a bulb. Seunghyun gave effects on the bulb as if it’s on and wrote ‘You’re the light of my life’.

Silly Seunghyun.

Sometimes Seunghyun would erase his old messages to the younger with his permission, so Seunghyun knew which ones to erase. He would write something to Daesung whenever he came to Daesung’s apartment, even just a simple message like ‘thank you for the meals’ with the date. Again, Daesung sighed. He made a mental note to himself that he would make sure that Seunghyun wrote messages to him before Seunghyun leaves him alone. Maybe by reading those messages Daesung could make through the day.

Daesung started to write something on his window. He drew a heart with a red marker. He smiled on his head upon thinking what he would do next. He wrote ‘Daedae’ on the right side of the heart and ‘Tabi’ on the opposite. He wrote x’s and o’s around the writing as well.

Childish. The voice on his head said.

The ring of the bell then surprised Daesung. He was about to stand up when he heard the beep-beep-beep sound. It’s definitely his Tabi who input the password to enter the apartment. Before long, he heard a deep voice calling him.

“Daesung-aaah,” the owner of that deep voice sing songed. “I know you