It seemed like hours had gone by as the two of you gazed into each other’s eyes. Neither of you were able to break the gaze.

It had felt like time had completely stopped for the two of you.

You wanted to forget the pain that he had got you to go through. Your heart was confused already. You didn’t know what you wanted from him.

Did you want him to pull you in and stay by your side forever?

Or did you want him to push you away and force you to forget about him?

No – You wanted him to catch you in your lies.

You wanted him to make you face him honestly – But you were scared. You’ve always been scared to face the past. Before, you couldn’t face President Kim and you couldn’t face the newly returned B.A.P.

Now, you couldn’t face him.

What was wrong with you? You didn’t remember being such a weak girl. You used to be capable of doing anything you wanted – but at the moment, you wanted to run away.

You would’ve actually if only your legs didn’t feel like jello.

“It’s been awhile, hasn’t it Yujin?” Jung Kook gave you the smallest of smiles.

You couldn’t tell what was going through his mind. You didn’t know what to say – should you smile and say the same? Or should you play it cool?

Giving him what was supposed to be a smile, you nodded, “Yeah. It’s been a long time. I was just saying hello. I’m your new songwriter you see.”

“I know,” he replied.

Judging by his reaction, you had suspected he hadn’t heard what you had managed to say as he had opened the door. You were about to sigh in relief until he began to talk again.

“…Is it true?”

You gave him a puzzled look, “Is what true?”

“That you got a blood transfusion,” he slowly stated, “and that was why you hadn’t been able to come see me those days in the hospital.”

“V told you?” you replied, almost instantaneously, confirming his statement.

He nodded, an apologetic look spread across his face, “I’m sorry for saying those things before. I was just upset that –“

Interrupting him, you tried to sound strong, “It’s okay. I don’t mind. Everything’s in the past already, isn’t it? Let’s just forget about it all.”

Jung Kook’s expression seemed to change for the worse. It was as if you had said the thing that let him feel like the worse person in the world – one who was suffering intense torture.

You could tell that he was holding much emotions and feelings back by the way his fists grew tighter and tighter. You wanted to tell him that everything was okay.

You wanted to tell him that so much.

You didn’t want him to suffer, trapped in emotions, for as long as you have.

You just wanted to take his hand and pull him into an embrace with gentle pats upon his back and whisper reassuringly that there was no reason to feel sad or upset.

“Forget?” he voice seemed to be filled with tons of pain, “Everything’s in the past?”

His eyes gave an expression that screamed ‘How could you say something like that?!’ You really didn’t know what to say – if you could say anything at all without your voice breaking, heart shattering.

All you could manage was a soft, but sad, “…Jung Kook…”

[CR: Rain Sound – B.A.P]

“It didn’t seem like we had to do this so my heart hurts so much
Now you remain as a broken fragment that’s deeply engraved inside
You pull me in – I think I lied when I said I could live without you
I throw away my feelings but I still miss you as I fall asleep,
But on this rain night, I cannot fall asleep…”

Jung Kook softly recited the lyrics to B.A.P’s song – one of the songs that reflected your feelings of longing – The feelings that had tried to call out to Jung Kook even when he wasn’t there.

“Please,” you tried to smile at him, but all that radiated from you was sadness, “It’s just a song. It doesn’t mean anything –“

His eyes showed only one feeling – desperation, “Stop lying to me! If you were telling the truth, you wouldn’t have cried!”

Your hands reached up and slowly touched your cheeks.

They were wet from tears.

When did you begin to cry?