85th Friend

Anonymous Friend (친구) - Advice Column

 

Victoria: my friend recently asked me out, and when I say friend, I mean super close/best friend sort of friend. I don't want to wreck the relationship between us, and I just don't feel the same way about him.
My friends tell me to say yes and not friend-zone him, but I just can't. How do I tell him in a nice as way possible that I don't feel the same way?
(note, this guy is super sensitive)

Friend: Dear Victoria,

The best way to reply to him is to be honest. Honesty is always the best way to go but you have to be careful with your words. After all, there’s a huge difference between, “I don’t like you and never will. Get over it,” to “I’m sorry but I don’t feel the same way, I hope you understand.” Kindly telling him that you do not feel the same way and see him as nothing but an amazing friend would be a safe way to go.

However, I want to emphasize on this point – do not give him false hope. Don’t add anything like, “Maybe in a few months I can.” Or “I just don’t see us in a relationship right at this moment.” And if he says he’ll wait for you, try to explain to him that you don’t want him to wait and you’d rather he moved on. If you put yourself in his position, would you really want your crush giving you false hope? Of course not, that only causes unnecessary heartbreak and lies.

When you are giving him your reply, try to stay at a calm and level-headed tone. Do not sugar coat anything and show him that you mean no harm.

Sorry I couldn’t reply to your letter sooner >_< Hope you had a nice Christmas and have a Happy New Year(:

~(Chingu) 친구

 

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Jia_Yi #1
Chapter 87: Aww you closed :(
Thank you for creaing this advice column !
You have helped me a lot with my problems ~
Once again, thank you very much <3
NanaKirae #2
Chapter 87: I haven't been on AFF for a long time!
You're finally closing? I understand. I'm actually impressed that youbhelped more than 80+ people with this story. I applaud you :)
I'm sure others can learn by reading your advices to other people. I know I did ^^
You're a wonderful person and friend just wanted to let you know that :)
Thank you again for this. <3
aerissiii #3
Chapter 5: wow. i learned a LOT reading this advice column and i'm just in Chapter 5. XD
fairytale-s #4
Chapter 87: thankyou for the advice.
it really helped me alot! c:
it's really sad that you're closing down though. but we'll all understand your difficulties.
e u e
hope we could be friends!
once again, thankyou so much! ;n;
-esque #5
Chapter 87: Omg, I'm so late to see this. This advice column is amazing. ^^; You've helped me more than twice in here actually. >//< There are so many situations that I've come across and mine is almost the exact and your advice has helped so much. To me and many others. Seriously, people need to see this. Why are there only 5 votes? You are, like, seriously the worlds kindest person I've ever come across. You took the time to actually write advice to all of us and help us in our darkest situations. I'll keep those quotes in mind. Thank you so, so much. (: Wish you the best of the best.
luv_kero 2449 streak #6
Chapter 87: Thank you for having this amazing advice column! ^-^ I'll admit that I've asked two questions on here under different names, but I'd like to be discreet for now. Your advice has helped me so much and I cannot express how grateful I am to you for being here. You've helped so many people who were down in the dumps and needed someone to talk to. I'll miss this column so much, but I understand that you have other things to deal with. Once again, thank you so much! :)
BanaaBoom #7
Chapter 87: You've helped so many people, including myself. thanks so much for this! you're an amazing person
--iSoul #8
Chapter 87: Awww. Too bad you're closing this but thank you for all the good advices when they lasted. You have no idea of how much people you've helped and thank you for taking your time to do this ^^
Makirei #9
Chapter 87: Oh my gee. I'm so sad that you're ending the advice column. You helped me so much!
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